by Coralee June
I scoffed. “You’re trying to keep yourself out of prison. You don’t care about me. I’m not helping you. Let’s just get to the part where you blackmail me into getting what you want.”
Jack huffed. “I don’t want to blackmail you, Hamilton. I want us to work together to bring your brother down because he’s out of control.”
“I’m still not convinced. Explain what’s going on. Why do you think there is laundering?”
My father took another sip of his drink before continuing. “Basically, there are large sums of money I can’t account for in a few of my companies. There is a complex audit trail and a series of financial transactions that don’t make sense. I think Joseph has some illegal capital, and he’s using Beauregard Industries as a front to move funds around. One of my accountants brought it to my attention the night before Joseph’s wedding. We were going to assemble a team and research the odd transactions, but she was in a tragic yet peculiar car accident four days later.”
I swallowed. There was so much to dissect in his statement that I didn’t even know where to start. What did he mean by a peculiar car accident? “Do you think Joseph killed her?” I asked, my blood like ice.
“I think he’s involved with people capable of that. The IRS is constantly breathing down our necks, and something like this is usually caught in audits. It’s peculiar. I have some of my best men and women working it out, but we’re all coming up short. Whoever Joseph is in business with is damn good at what they do and has very high connections. I need to get to the source of it all before it’s too late.”
“What kind of illegal shit is Joseph into?” I asked while thinking of the drugs he used to do.
“Could be drugs again. Or it could be weapons. Human trafficking. I seriously have no idea,” Jack said.
“That’s seriously fucked up, Jack. Sounds to me like you have more problems than just your business being used to funnel illegal activities. Why don’t you go to the cops with your findings and let them handle it?” I curled my lip while looking down at my weak father. He was so wrapped up in his own corruption that he didn’t know right from wrong.
“Joseph is sloppy. Killing my accountant? And these funds are astronomical. I’m surprised I haven’t been flagged yet. I just want to save our legacy, Hamilton.”
“And I want nothing to do with this bullshit. If you’re truly innocent, let the feds handle it.”
My father let out a harsh exhale. “I don’t want, nor do I need, an investigation, Hamilton.”
So there was more going on? Dear old dad had too many skeletons in his closet. “I don’t want, nor do I need, to be involved,” I echoed.
Jack slammed his fist on the table, and I flinched, my triggers flooding to the surface of my consciousness with a vengeance. Joseph looked so much like our father. I stood up and straightened my spine, preparing for his rebuttal and aggression. “You will help me. Because there will be consequences if you don’t. And because you can’t resist bringing your brother down.”
Consequences? Jack didn’t know the meaning of the word. I’d burn down his house while he sleeps inside of it and spend the rest of my life in prison with a smile on my face.
Jack steadied his breathing and tilted his chin up. “Vera could have a very good life, you know. She loves her school. Her classes. Her apartment. She’s set up to have a nice career. The only thing holding her back really is her mother.” I didn’t want to be interested in what Jack was saying, but still I leaned closer to hear him better.
“Spit it out already, Jack. I’m bored with this.”
“I know you care about her. You wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t. You can push her away, but I know you. I know how far you’re willing to go for the people you love.”
Cruel. My father was cruel for reminding me of that gruesome moment. The foam in her mouth. My burning, aching muscles as I tried to bring her back.
“Fuck you,” I growled.
My father wasn’t bothered by my words. “I’ll give her the world. I’ll keep her away from Joseph and me. I’ll encourage Joseph to divorce Lilah and provide the two of them with a nice settlement. I’ll never talk to her again, and she can go back to living her life, going to school, and staying out of Beauregard business.”
My mouth dried. His offer was tempting. “Don’t act like getting rid of Vera and Lilah is such a sacrifice,” I spat. “It’s obvious you hate Lilah.”
Jack’s eyes went glassy. “It’s curious how she managed to raise such a selfless, compassionate daughter.” He took another sip of his whiskey. “And yes. It wouldn’t be much of a hardship on my part, but something tells me that it would mean much more to you.”
He wasn’t wrong. I wanted Vera out of this. I wanted her far away from the Beauregard bullshit, especially if Joseph was dealing with some top shelf criminal activity.
“Vera is more than capable of getting out on her own if she wants to,” I replied.
Jack shrugged. “Couldn’t hurt to shove her in the right direction, though, no?”
“Tell me about your arrangement with her,” I pressed. If I were being honest, it still pissed me off that Vera was even working with him. She didn’t owe me anything, but I thought she was smarter than that.
“I’ve been trying to get you into the fold for years, Hamilton. I figured Vera would help motivate you to at least try and have a relationship with me.”
“And she agreed to this?” I asked in disbelief.
“Of course she did. I held her tuition and her mother’s safety over her head.”
I pressed my lips into a thin line and mulled over his words. I was pissed that Jack was holding this shit over her head. Pissed that she agreed to this bullshit plan. Didn’t she know me by now? Didn’t she know that I’d see through the bullshit and call her out?
I wanted to punish her for even thinking this could work. I wanted to save her from my asshole father, too. The conflict raging inside of me pissed me right the fuck off. “I’m still not convinced.”
Jack huffed. “You’ve spent your entire life trying to bring down your brother. You tried setting up a scandal just to tarnish his name. I’ve had to fight you tooth and nail your entire life, and now that I’m finally giving you what you want, you don’t want to do it?”
I averted my eyes and shifted from one foot to the other. “Forgive me for not believing that you’d want anything to happen to your precious son.”
“You’re my son, too, Hamilton,” Jack quickly replied. “I know I’ve ignored you in the past. I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve what you went through, and I want to make it right. Together. We can bring Joseph down for his careless, cruel behavior. Everyone wins.”
I despised the way my chest warmed with Jack’s words. All I’d ever wanted, my entire life, was to feel accepted by him. So many times, I begged him to do something about Joseph. Could this really be my chance to bring him down for good?
“I’ll help you—guide you every step of the way,” he promised. “We never got the chance to bond. I want to do this with you, Hamilton.”
“What kind of things do you need to know?” I asked. I wasn’t committing to this, but I needed all the information to make a decision. Jack grinned slightly.
“Anything you can give me. I just want to find out exactly what Joseph is doing so we can shut it down before the feds find out. I want to save our legacy and put you in a position to lead our company. I’m getting old, Hamilton. I want you involved in the family business.”
“I never wanted to be involved,” I whispered.
Jack popped his knuckles. “You can’t avoid what you’re born into,” he stated ominously.
His words were simple but felt damning. Being born into something unavoidable was a universal truth that bonded Vera and me. “I’m not sure—”
Jack frowned. “Joseph is out of control. We have to stop him before it’s too late. Don’t you want revenge?”
I let out a bitter laugh. “He’s been out of control since
I was born. He was out of control when he broke my arm. He was also out of control when he beat his wife. But God forbid he fuck with your money, right, dad?”
“If we’re audited, everyone is going to prison,” Jack sputtered. “Including Lilah.”
Fuck. “Why Lilah? The way I see it, you and Joseph are the only people taking the fall when shit goes south. And what makes you think I care if you get arrested?” I asked.
“You care because you love Vera,” Jack answered. His statement rang true but felt like a curse pouring from his lips. “And Lilah has been with Joseph the most these last few months. I’m keeping her here so I can figure out if she has any useful information. I’m willing to bet she’s involved somehow. You know Vera would be devastated if her mother got arrested. I can protect Lilah,” he insisted.
“What would you have me do?”
“Find proof of the laundering. I’m slowly removing Joseph from accounts. Get close to your brother. Make amends so you can figure out what the hell he’s doing. Let’s end this once and for all.”
“You want me to be a detective,” I said with a laugh.
“I want you to be a Beauregard!” Jack yelled, the veins bulging in his neck. “I trusted the wrong son, and now he’s on the verge of ruining everything. I want you to be a man, Hamilton. I want you to let go of your grudge and do what needs to be done. You’ve been working with Saint to bring down your brother, you’ve been doing everything in your power to ruin our reputation, and now that I’m handing you an opportunity on a silver platter, you’re going to turn it down?”
I stared at Jack.
I trusted the wrong son.
I trusted the wrong son.
“I’m not such a bastard anymore, am I?” I asked bitterly. “Guess you only love people that you need.”
“You were never a bastard, Hamilton. I’ll protect Vera. I’ll make sure she’s far away from this. I’ll continue to pay for her schooling. Her apartment. I’ll make sure she has everything she needs. I’ll make sure she’s safe and happy. Joseph will never lay a hand on her. But you’re going to step up. You’re going to end this.”
“I don’t even know what I’m looking for. I’m not qualified.”
“I’ll help you.”
I laughed. “You’re incapable of helping me.”
“I’ll tell you what to look for. You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for, Hamilton.”
I didn’t trust him. I didn’t trust this plan for a single second. And yet…
I couldn’t believe I was considering this. “How long will it take?”
“However long it takes,” Jack replied. “Something of this magnitude could take a year. Maybe two. We need to find the source of the illegal cash flow, flush out the criminals working with Joseph, and find evidence incriminating him. I can have the private jet take you to DC in an hour and divorce papers delivered to Lilah by tomorrow.”
A year without Vera. Was that even possible? It would have to be. I’d be spending the rest of my life without her.
I didn’t want to be in DC with my brother. I didn’t want to be away from Vera. But being closer to him meant I’d have more opportunities to figure out what the fuck he’s up to. I was so fucking pissed. I felt out of control of my own life but determined to fix this. Jack knew exactly how to get me under his thumb.
“I need a couple of days to think,” I said.
“We don’t have a couple of days,” Jack snapped.
I just wanted to see Vera one last time. Even though I’d already decided to end this, I needed one last moment with my girl. I needed to hold her. Fuck her until she couldn’t walk for a year. Burn my memory so deeply into her mind that she didn’t go a single day without thinking of me too.
“Give me a couple days,” I replied. “If you want me to do this, then you can be patient.”
Jack sighed. “Fine,” he said.
4
Vera
An invisible force animated my heart, like jump-starting my mother’s old car. After sitting alone in my apartment for hours, the harsh sound of someone knocking on my door boomed around me. A startling resurrection out of my somber thoughts. I recognized the assuming power behind it almost instantly. Hamilton’s voice cut through my deadbolted front door and slithered across my skin.
I sat up on my couch and touched my lips with the tips of my fingertips.
“Open the door, Petal.”
The demand was swift. Painful. I padded across the hardwood floors of my apartment, not caring that I hadn’t showered since leaving Jack’s house. Not caring that my thin tank top had coffee stains on the strap. Goose bumps broke out on my legs as I unlocked the door. It was close to midnight, and I’d spent all day crying over the cruel things Hamilton had said to me. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of enduring that again. How could I keep protecting my mother if Hamilton wanted nothing to do with me?
I didn’t crack open the door, I swung it wide open. I’m sure there was a metaphor for the way I felt about Hamilton hidden in that single move, but it’d be a waste to analyze it. I couldn’t even begin to tell you why I still cared for this man—why I ached for him in such a devastating way. Was I just a pathetic girl pining for an unattainable man?
Despite his cruel words still ringing in my mind, the moment Hamilton came into view, a sense of belonging settled over me. He looked strung out. His bloodshot eyes raked up and down my exposed skin as he ran a hand through his wild hair. The black pants on his long legs were ripped at the knee. He had on a white V-neck shirt with the collar stretched out. The dark circles under his eyes gave me some relief. Misery loves company.
“What are you doing here?” I asked while wrapping my arms around myself. The cool air hit my exposed skin. He reached for my wrists and stopped me from using my limbs as a shield. Jerking me forward, he forced my arms around his muscular frame and wrapped me in a bone crushing hug. “Stop,” I demanded. “Let go.”
I had to at least pretend to not want the comfort he offered.
“I’m going to hurt you again, Petal,” he admitted ominously before kissing the top of my head and shuddering. I didn’t think it was possible to hurt me more than he already did.
I once knew this girl that got bitten by a brown recluse spider. Everyone in our fifth grade class sent her cards in the hospital. For months, that invincible venom burned through her veins. She almost lost her leg. No matter how hard they tried, they just couldn’t get the open wound to heal. I couldn’t help but think about how Hamilton’s betrayal was still a festering sore blooming on my heart, and his words were like a spider bite that refused to scab over. It would always be there. Always remind me of the vengeful enemy that got the last word. But, God, my heart still beat for him. Every pounding hit of my pulse was a painful reminder that I loved this man.
“You came here to hurt me?” I asked in confusion while finally pulling out of his hold. The man was full of melodramatic comments and riddles. “You already spoke your piece. I get it. We’re done. You don’t have to—”
“How are you?”
His question made me pause. “How am I? Just yesterday you told me my pussy was used up and that you wanted nothing to do with me—”
Hamilton kissed me. Dark and desperate, his soft lips pressed against mine without warning. Kissing Hamilton was vicious and haunting. Hard and ruining. Forgetting how much he’d hurt me, I pathetically wrapped my arms around his neck and lavished his mouth with my own, all while ignoring that small, intrusive thought that this was wrong.
It was a privilege to kiss Hamilton Beauregard. It wasn’t wholesome, like the tender moments shared between two lovers. It wasn’t kind or polite.
Kissing him was like a glorious apology. A physical manifestation of the truth budding between us. Sweeping tongues. Crashing teeth. Sucking. Groaning. He tugged on my lip. I pulled at his soul.
But maybe this was his version of trying? Maybe he’d realized he still wanted me? Maybe this could work after all, and Jack…
> His father.
I broke our kiss, and Hamilton groaned while digging his fingers into my back, holding me in place as I looked up into his black eyes. “Is this another trick?” I asked. “Is this because I was with Jack yesterday? Some revenge ploy to show how desperate I am?” I put more space between us.
His eyes softened. “Yeah. I know you were with Jack,” he said. “Can we not talk about it for a little while? Can I just be with you?”
My mind spiraled, and my mouth quickly followed suit. Words spilled from me like vomit. “But are you with me, Hamilton? We’ve been through so much. I’m still hurt by what you did, and now with what you said. We can’t go back from that. I can’t believe I kissed you just now. I’m so fucking stupid. How desperate can I get? I mean, seriously. You were wrong for me before, but now you’re bad for me, too. Why are you even here?”
I looked down at the ground, but Hamilton didn’t let me stare off for long. He placed his finger under my chin and forced me to look up at me. “I know about your arrangement with Jack.”
“You do?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
“I’m going to help you, Petal. I’m going to chat with Jack and make sure your mother is safe. I’ll help you keep your end of the deal.”
How did he know? “Wh-why?”
Hamilton gripped my hips and started walking me backward toward the couch. He sat down with a thud and pulled me on top of him. My sleep shorts were too thin, barely covering my round ass as I straddled him. “Sit here,” he instructed. I obeyed, dumbfounded.
“Why?” I asked again. “Why did you say those things to me yesterday if you were just going to help me today?”
“I say stupid shit all the time.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t downplay the things you said. It hurt me. You hurt me.”
Hamilton stiffened. “I’m sorry, Petal,” he said. “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it. I just…” He shook his head, never finishing his statement. His hands drifted up under my tank, brushing along the edge of my ribs. My breath hitched. “Let me help you, Petal.” Normally, the request would sound playful coming from Hamilton Beauregard’s lips, but this sounded like a plea—him begging for me right here, right now. “I can clear your mind. Make you forget all the awful things I said.”