Pugs and Kisses

by J. J. Howard

  Mom didn’t say anything else right away, so I provided the dog’s actual name. “Barnard.”

  “Yes, I guess that was it. You know I don’t really get the whole pet thing. I never had one. But your father explained to me that your … attachment to this dog, even though he’s not actually yours, would have made it very hard for you to say no to Mrs. Ramirez. Or to take him to the kennel, as I suggested. So … I’m trying to understand how you feel about that animal, is what I’m trying to say. But I have to say I’m still surprised you would have said yes to Mrs. Ramirez. You didn’t honestly think that I’d agree that you could keep him here?”

  I swallowed hard. “I was just worried about Osito, and Mrs. R. If I’d been thinking clearly I would have known not to say yes. I know that once you decide something you’re not ever going to change your mind no matter what.”

  Mom drew her breath in sharply as if something I’d said surprised her, though I couldn’t think what it would have been. After all, we were in the middle of talking about how she never changed.

  After a few more seconds, Mom continued talking, though her voice sounded weird. I wondered if she was still really mad at me, but keeping it under control because she’d promised Papi.

  “I’m going to give you tonight’s temper tantrum as your one free pass. And I do mean one—as in, this is the only one you’ll ever get. Got it?”

  I nodded quickly. “Got it.”

  “And no matter what, you should not have run out like that. That’s not okay.”

  “I know. I texted Tali …”

  “She told us where you were. Go do your homework now. We won’t talk about this again.”

  “Okay,” I said, rising. I felt relieved, but not as relieved as I would have expected to feel. Mom seemed really—well, she seemed sad, but that didn’t make sense. She couldn’t have been too worried about me, since Tali had told them where I was.

  I turned back around. “Good night,” I told Mom.

  She was just sitting in her chair, fiddling with the handle of her tea mug. She looked up and said, “Good night, Ana.”

  Tali had clearly been listening at the door to our room, since I almost tripped over her as soon as I opened the door. She enfolded me in a big hug. “I’m so glad you’re home!”

  “Me, too. I’m mostly glad I survived the talk with Mom.”

  “I didn’t hear any yelling?” Tali sounded as confused as I felt.

  “She didn’t yell. She said Papi talked to her.”

  “He did, but I couldn’t hear what they said.”

  “Not for lack of trying, I’m sure.” I gave her a pointed look.

  Tali gave me a sheepish look back. “I was worried about you!”

  “Nice job telling them exactly where I was, by the way.”

  “Ana! Papi said they were going to call the police unless I told them—I didn’t have a choice.”

  “You fell for that?”

  “I think he was serious, Ana.”

  “I guess I’m just lucky he didn’t go over there and embarrass me.”

  “I know, I was kind of afraid of that, too,” Tali said with another sheepish smile. “But tell me how it went with Calvin’s parents.”

  I sat down heavily on the edge of my bed and started to unlace my boots. “It was just his dad. It was fine.”

  “Oh, okay. So, let me get this straight. Mom didn’t yell, and you’re not crying, so she must not have grounded you for the rest of your life?”

  “She didn’t even punish me,” I said.

  “She didn’t give you a consequence at all?”

  “Not yet,” I said. I had a sudden, terrible thought: What if the whole free-pass thing had meant a free pass just for tonight?

  “That’s kind of weird, actually. Mom’s always hardest on you.”

  I looked up at Tali in surprise. “She is?”

  “Of course she is. You never noticed?”

  “I guess not. I mean, you almost never do anything wrong.”

  Tali stuck her tongue out at me. “I can’t help being naturally good. But I think it’s because you’re so smart. Like she was.”

  “What do you mean? She’s still smart.”

  “Well, of course she is, but she didn’t get to really do anything with her smarts, is what I mean. I think she regrets it, at least sometimes—not finishing college. I think she’s so hard on you because she wants to be sure that you do. That you get to use your giant brain for something amazing.”

  “You’re smart, too!” I pointed out.

  “I know, but not like you.”

  I shook my head. “I’m just obsessed with studying, is all …”

  Tali shook her head. “Don’t be so humble, Ana. You’re first in your class.”

  Maybe, I thought.

  “But you’re the sweet one,” I said.

  “Not everything’s so black and white, hermanita. You’re not the only one who’s smart, and I’m not the only one who’s sweet. We’re both a mixture—with lots of different parts to our personalities.”

  I looked at my sister for a few moments. “You’re right. See, you’re not only smart, you’re wise.”

  “It’s because I’m almost an official woman,” Tali said with a wink. “The countdown has begun.”

  I looked at the calendar over my desk and realized she was right. In a week and a half, I’d be wearing that crazy dress and dancing at Tali’s party … with Calvin.

  In the meantime I just hoped that Mom really wasn’t going to ground me. There was no way I could ever explain not visiting Osito to Calvin.

  And as much as I hated the thought of not seeing Osito, the thought of Calvin thinking badly of me was almost worse. He’d been so amazing, running all the way to the park when I called him, taking in “my” dog. Like a real-life Prince Charming.

  My eyes traveled to the Ruffle Monster still hanging on the back of my closet door.

  So much for my life as a complete fairy tale, I thought. In those stories, some fairy godmother always saved the heroine from having to wear the hideously awful dress.

  But at least, thanks to Calvin, I didn’t have to go to the quince alone. And Osito wasn’t in doggy jail. It had been a long, bad day, but if it weren’t for Calvin, it could have been a lot worse.

  “Are you baking?” Mom asked when she came home from work the next day.

  “Yep. I felt like it,” I said, stirring cookie dough in the bowl.

  That was a lie, too, though a pretty little one, all things considered. I wanted to have something to bring over to the Palmers’ tonight; I thought maybe I’d feel less guilty about everything if I didn’t show up empty-handed.

  “This is Abuelita Elena’s recipe,” I explained. I was making two batches of snickerdoodles—one for my family as well. A small, sugary peace offering.

  “That’s great,” Mom said, but she sounded distracted. She hadn’t even changed out of her work clothes and already she was banging the cabinet doors open and closed, getting out things to start dinner. I wondered if I was in her way with my cookie making.

  “I promised your father I’d make pastelillos tonight,” Mom said in a tired voice. “He got his promotion at work today.”

  “That’s great!” I exclaimed. I knew Papi had been working toward that for a long time. I also knew that pastelillos, while delicious—my stomach growled just thinking of the ground beef and potatoes cased inside fried dough—were a lot of work. And Mom already sounded tired.

  “Hey, why don’t you go and change and I’ll get everything out for you for the pastelillos?” I offered. “And the cookies are ready to go in the oven so I’ll clean all this up fast, too. I didn’t mean to get in your way.”

  Mom closed a cabinet door—more quietly this time—and turned to face me. “You didn’t know about the promotion. And the cookies will be a nice addition to our little celebration. But I will take you up on the offer to help. Thank you. I’ll just get the recipe out …”

  “I don’t need to see the rec
ipe!” I told her. “I’ve had it memorized for years.”

  Mom smiled at me, patted my arm, and went back to her room to change. I hurried to put the cookies in the oven, and then got out everything for the pastelillo dough. Then I got out two big onions and started chopping them very fine. Mom would want to make the dough herself, but I didn’t think she’d have a problem with my doing the boring chopping part.

  “Oh, you already chopped the onions!” she exclaimed when she came back out wearing a T-shirt and jeans, looking younger than she had in her work clothes. “Wonderful!”

  “I thought you wouldn’t mind.”

  “Mind! Ah, mija, I’m thrilled! It’s been a long day at work. I’ll take all the help I can get.”

  The timer dinged for my cookies, and I pulled them out of the oven. They looked perfect.

  “I do have to go visit Osito in a few minutes,” I told her. “I promised I’d bring his food over.” I added the last part in a burst of inspiration, so Mom would know that I really had to go.

  “Okay, I understand. How is Mrs. Ramirez doing?”

  A hot wave of embarrassment crashed over my head as I realized that I didn’t know. “I’m going to check on her at the hospital after I drop off the food.”

  “I don’t want you going there alone, Ana. I don’t mind you going to the Palmers’ since it’s in the neighborhood. I’ll go with you to check on Mrs. Ramirez, if you want, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.”

  “I understand. I bet I can find her daughter’s number upstairs and maybe get an update that way today.” I started packing up some of the cookies I’d made to take to Calvin.

  “That’s a good idea, but only if she has it lying out somewhere. Don’t go snooping through all her things.”

  I raised one hand. “No snooping. Scout’s honor. Okay, I’ve got all the spices out for you. I’m going to run upstairs now, then over to the Palmers’, and be back for dinner.”

  “All right, Ana. Text me when you get there. Okay?”

  “Will do.”

  I raced upstairs and grabbed a bag of Osito’s food. Then I found a Post-it on the fridge with the number for Mrs. Ramirez’s daughter, Rosa. See, Mom—I didn’t snoop.

  I raced back down the stairs, taking them two at a time, then fast-walked over to the park.

  I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that Calvin was still there with both dogs.

  Osito and Pancake looked like best friends—they seemed to be playing doggy hide-and-seek around the legs of the bench Calvin was sitting on.

  “Hey! Look who it is, Osito!” Calvin called.

  Osito came barreling toward me. I knelt down to hug him, but he was wriggling too much.

  “I brought some of his food from … home,” I said, gesturing to the bag.

  “You didn’t need to—he seems perfectly okay with what Pancake eats. But I’ll take it back. Besides, you were pretty rattled yesterday. I still can’t believe your mom set up that fumigation without giving you a heads-up—since he can’t stay at your uncle’s.”

  “My mom’s not really all that dog-oriented.”

  “Surprising that she let you have a pet, then.”

  “Yep, it’s kind of a miracle. Oh, hey, I brought you some cookies I made, too.”

  We both laughed as Pancake came running over to us at the word cookies.

  Calvin laughed. “Sorry, girl, these are for me. Hey, did you bake these?” he asked me.

  I nodded. “Fresh out of the oven.”

  A grin spread over Calvin’s face. “That’s so sweet of you, Ana.”

  He seemed so happy that somehow it made me feel worse. Here Calvin was, thinking I was sweet. He had no idea how wrong he was.

  The second Mrs. R’s daughter came to claim Osito, I would come clean about everything.

  I was distracted from this stressful thought by Osito pawing at my leg, whining for me to pick him up.

  I remembered that the relief I’d feel after fessing up to Calvin was going to be served with a heaping dose of sadness. I had to assume Mrs. R’s daughter would be taking O back with her to Maryland. I might never see him again.

  I scooped him up and cuddled him close while I had him with me.

  “You okay?” Calvin asked.

  I nodded and said yes.

  And even that was a lie.

  * * *

  The next day at lunch I slid a foil-wrapped packet across the table with a wink. Phoebe squealed in delight.

  “Is this what I think it is?”

  I nodded. “Two of Mama Ramos’s famous pastelillos. I had to put them in my room during dinner or somebody would have eaten them for sure.”

  Phoebe paused in opening the foil. “These were in your room all night?”

  “I said during dinner.” I threw a napkin across the table at her. “I wouldn’t go to all the trouble of saving them if I was just going to let them spoil overnight, silly.”

  “Oh, okay, thank goodness. Because I was all excited for pastelillos. That would have been heartbreaking.”

  “So how’s your coding project coming?” I asked as Phoebe tore into my mom’s delicacy. “Do you still want me to help you on Sunday?”

  “Soundsgoodwecanworkatmyhouse.”

  “Maybe tell me after you finish eating.”

  She swallowed. “I was just saying sure—we can work at my house if you want.”

  “Oh! Good. How far have you gotten with your site coding?”

  “Um, I’ve thought about what I want it to do.”

  “Phoebe!”

  “I perform best under pressure.”

  “But if you don’t start until the last minute you can’t really go above and beyond with your project. If you start early …”

  “I’m fine with doing the standard project.”

  “Must be nice,” I grumbled.

  “Procrastinating? It’s okay, I guess.”

  “No, I meant, not feeling the need to do anything extra. What’s that like?”

  “It’s very relaxing,” Phoebe told me. “Too bad you’ll never experience it.”

  * * *

  I felt weird being dogless in the dog run, but I knew Calvin would be there soon with Osito and Pancake. I turned excitedly when I heard the gate open, but it was a lady with a standard poodle. She looked a little bit like the queen from The Princess Diaries, so she had the perfect dog.

  But the very next creak of the gate was him. I stood up and waved, and sat down so that Osito could run into my lap. I looked up at Calvin.

  “Thanks for bringing him. I know it’s probably harder to walk two dogs.”

  He sat down beside me. “I think I’m up to that challenge. Speaking of challenges, I was hoping to run my coding project past you. Maybe tomorrow? I have time in the afternoon.”

  Tomorrow. The day Mrs. R’s daughter was coming. The day I would tell Calvin the truth.

  “I’m not sure about Saturday, but I’ll totally help you. Maybe on Sunday?”

  “Sunday works. I’ve also got this huge project for language arts class due right after the coding one. But my partner’s been really good. She’s done a lot of the research already.”

  “Oh, who is it?”

  “Lucy Alvarez.”

  I heard Phoebe’s voice in my head, telling me about how on Calvin’s first day, Lucy had said he was cute. Was Lucy being so helpful because she liked Calvin? What if he liked her back?

  Ugh! Like I didn’t have too much to think about already, here I was wondering about Lucy Alvarez’s romantic life.

  Except that wasn’t what I was really wondering.

  I was thinking that I didn’t want Calvin to fall for some other girl before I could tell him the truth. Or how after tomorrow, Calvin might be mad at me, and Lucy would be there waiting …

  That thought made it hard to breathe. I stood up. “I can’t stay. I have to go to the hospital,” I said.

  “What? Are you okay?”

  “No—I mean, yes, I’m okay. But I have to visit my neighb
or. She fell and got hurt. And she’s all alone in there until her daughter comes to the city tomorrow.”

  “That’s really nice of you. Do you want me to go with you? I could take the dogs back first …”

  “No, that’s okay. My mom’s going with me. We’re going to bring her some soup.” And the news that her dog is doing just fine. I gave Osito one more hug.

  “So your place will be ready to go back to tomorrow, huh?” Calvin asked.

  I nodded. “I’ll come over in the morning to pick up Osito?”

  “Sure,” Calvin said. “See you tomorrow.”

  * * *

  When I got home, Mom had left me a note saying that she had to stay late at work but Tali could go with me to the hospital to see Mrs. R, as long as we kept in touch by text.

  Tali came out of our room. She picked up a small white bag that was sitting on the counter. “Mom asked me to get the soup—I got Italian wedding. Hope Mrs. R likes it.”

  “Thanks for getting it. I was just …”

  “Hanging out with your boyfriend.”

  My face flamed. “He’s not my—he’s doing a project with Lucy Alvarez in his language arts class,” I added, then slapped my palm over my mouth. “Ugh, why do I always tell you too much?”

  “ ’Cause, whatever it is, you want to talk about it, and you know you can say anything to me.” Tali linked her arm through mine as we walked. “It’s a sister thing. So tell me more about this Lucy Alvarez …”

  * * *

  Mrs. Ramirez was sleeping when we got to her room at the hospital. One of her nurses woke her up.

  “She’s been lonely for visitors,” the nurse explained to me and Tali. “She’d never forgive me if I told her she slept through some.”

  “Hi, Mrs. R,” I said as she blinked awake and smiled at me.

  “We got you some soup,” Tali said, and handed her the bag.

  “Oh, from the deli! Bless you, girls! But how is my Osito, Ana? Is he doing all right at your place?”

  I exchanged a look with Tali. I hoped she could handle this one for me. I couldn’t bear another lie.

  Thankfully, Tali picked up my brain waves and said, “Osito’s doing great, very happy, though of course he misses you.”

  “Rosa will be here tomorrow,” Mrs. R said. “She’ll take Osito home with her until I’m back on my feet.”