Pugs and Kisses

by J. J. Howard

  I hoped he’d call back soon. But he didn’t. And since his phone would show that I’d already called twice, I couldn’t bring myself to dial his number a third time.

  The day passed slowly. I caught up on all my homework, and worked a little on my coding project, but I kept getting distracted. First I got up to go get a snack, but Mom chased me out of the kitchen since she was making a huge Sunday dinner. So I walked downstairs, figuring I needed some fresh air. Then I found myself walking all the way to the park. Because, what if Calvin was actually at the park right now, and I was torturing myself waiting for him to call? Maybe he’d dropped his phone in a toilet or something and that’s why he hadn’t gotten my message.

  When I got to the dog run, it was full of people, but Calvin wasn’t one of them. I sat down on one of the benches, just looking around at all the happy dog owners. Today, Osito was going to Baltimore with Rosa.

  It was like there was a ball of ice in my stomach. I was worried about Osito, and Mrs. R. And I dreaded telling Calvin how I’d been lying to him.

  * * *

  I finally found Calvin on Monday morning at his locker.

  “I called you yesterday,” I said, walking over to him. “Oh, and also hi.”

  “Also hi to you, too. I’m sorry I didn’t get your message until late. We all went sailing yesterday. Mom never lets us bring our phones, since one time Chelsea dropped hers in the river.”

  “Oh, that makes sense,” I said. I guessed my premonition about a phone in water hadn’t been completely off the mark.

  “So what’s up?” Calvin asked.

  Here it was. The time had finally come.

  “I have something to tell you,” I said, my throat dry. “It’s actually kind of funny how it all got started, really—it was just a misunderstanding, and I should’ve corrected you, but then I didn’t, for some reason, and then it felt like it was too late to say anything …”

  “Ana? I was hoping to check in with Mr. Bowen before the bell—we’ve got a test, you know.”

  “Yes. Okay.” I took a deep breath and let it out. “Osito’s not my dog.”

  Calvin’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “What? What are you talking about? Do you mean Osito is like a nickname or something?”

  I shook my head. “No, that’s his actual name. But the thing is … he doesn’t actually belong to me.”

  Calvin looked even more confused. “I don’t get what you’re trying to say.”

  I said the rest fast to get it over with. My heart was racing and my words started coming out just as quickly. “Osito is my neighbor Mrs. Ramirez’s dog. I would always walk him for her, since she has trouble going up and down the stairs in our building. That’s why I would bring him to the dog run. But he wasn’t … mine.”

  Calvin blinked, looking as if he was slowly starting to understand.

  “Osito isn’t—he was never yours?” Calvin repeated.

  “That’s right.” I swallowed.

  “Okay, so … basically you’re saying that not only have you been lying to me for all this time, you also tricked me into keeping your neighbor’s dog … for some reason.”

  “It’s not like that!” My heart had skipped at least three beats at his words—and his tone of voice. “I mean, Osito does belong to Mrs. R, but I came home from school and she was being taken to the hospital in an ambulance, and she asked me to promise to look out for him so I did and I guess I thought that my mom would say it was okay for him to just stay at our place for a couple of nights, but then, she didn’t …” Finally I had to take a breath.

  Calvin put up a hand. His lips were drawn. “Ana, you still lied to me, though—right?”

  “I did, but I was just so worried about Osito and I couldn’t imagine sending him to a kennel when he was so upset and …”

  “I get that you care about Osito. But I just really don’t understand why you wouldn’t have told me the truth. Even if you didn’t think it was important enough to say something before, I don’t get why you wouldn’t say anything when you were asking me if he could stay at my house. You told me your place was being fumigated. I guess you made that up. But I don’t see why you would have done that.”

  “I was afraid that …”

  Something in Calvin’s face changed. He’d figured out what I’d been about to say. “You were afraid I wouldn’t let Osito stay if you told me the truth.” Calvin slammed his locker door shut. He didn’t meet my eyes. “Wow, you really have a high opinion of me.”

  “No—I mean, I do have a high opinion of you. A super high opinion! But Osito was just so upset, when I found him under …”

  “I have to go, Ana.”

  He walked away without saying anything else.

  I stood frozen. As many times as I’d imagined telling Calvin the truth, I had never imagined it going that badly. Of course I’d been worried he’d be mad—it was why I’d waited.

  Worse than lying, it turned out, was the fact that I hadn’t trusted Calvin to help Osito no matter what.

  I trudged toward my own locker on feet that felt like lead. I’d been hoping for relief, but instead, I felt ten times more terrible than I had five minutes ago.

  IDEA #5:

  Time machine.

  I would like to invent a time machine so that I can go back in time and NOT lie to Calvin or mess everything up so badly.

  Functions: Nothing major, just figure out how to bend the space-time continuum.

  I hadn’t heard from Mrs. R’s daughter, so on Tuesday, I sent her a text, asking after her mother and Osito. She said they had both come with her to Baltimore and that her mother was recovering well. Rosa also thanked me again for cleaning up the apartment. It had been a huge help, she said, because the landlord was listing the place to rent, and now he could show it to people without it needing to be cleaned.

  I figured that was probably it. I’d likely never see Mrs. R or Osito again.

  It took me until Tuesday to realize that in addition to screwing up with the whole Calvin and Osito situation, I’d also screwed up my coding project. I’d planned to use footage of Osito in the video, maybe coax him into barking, and then add my voice-over so it looked like part of the video was a cute dog talking. But with all the craziness last week, I’d never gotten the footage.

  I went over to Phoebe’s after school on Tuesday, and she set up her camera and I tried to read my script, but I kept messing up. My heart just wasn’t in it.

  “You do remember that the project is due on Monday, right?” Phoebe asked me after I’d messed up yet another take. “And you said yourself you’re not going to have much of a weekend, with the quince happening and all your relatives in town.”

  “I know!” I wailed, and threw myself down onto Phoebe’s bed.

  Phoebe stared at me. “Never thought I’d see the day. Ana Ramos. Procrastinating.”

  “I’m not doing it on purpose. It’s just so hard to focus. Every time I try, I flash back to Calvin’s face when I told him. He was so mad.”

  “So you’ve mentioned nineteen or a thousand times,” Phoebe said. “But come on. Just read the script, I’ll film you, and we’ll knock this out. Your coding will be amazing, I’m sure. You’ll get a pretty good grade no matter what.”

  Part of me knew Phoebe was right, but part of me was afraid that just a “pretty good grade” might cost me the top slot. It was late April—not too many more chances to bring grades up.

  I took a deep breath and followed Phoebe’s advice. I read the script straight through without messing up.

  Phoebe played part of the video back to check the recording. My voice sounded flat, like I didn’t care about Waggle Walkers, or even much of anything at all.

  “You’ve got to shake this off,” Phoebe said. “Calvin will forgive you. And if not, he wasn’t really your friend to begin with.”

  “But he was a great friend. I was the bad friend.”

  “Ana, it’ll be okay. I promise.”

  I stood up. “I know you’re righ
t. It’s just kind of an overwhelming week, with the quince, like you said.”

  Neither of us said what we both knew I was thinking: I no longer had an escort to the quince.

  Calvin had stopped speaking to me at school. When we passed in the hall he’d always be talking to somebody else so he didn’t even need to meet my eyes.

  Of course I knew I could try to find another escort at the last minute, but I couldn’t bring myself to look. I’d go alone and face the embarrassment. Besides, I figured it was probably what I deserved.

  * * *

  When I got back from Phoebe’s, I saw what looked like a moving truck in front of our building. I did a double take. A man was lowering the big metal grate at the back of the truck, and before I got close enough see who else might be inside, the truck had pulled away from the curb and out into traffic.

  I ran into the building and up the stairs to the fifth floor.

  I knew I’d been right when I saw that the door to Mrs. R’s place was standing open. I walked forward slowly, knowing I was about to see an empty apartment.

  I looked inside—it was completely empty. Our building’s super, Mr. Martin, came up behind me.

  “Excuse me,” he said, walking around me. “Oh, hello, Ana. If you’re looking for Mrs. Ramirez, you definitely missed her.” He added the last part with a chuckle.

  “Did she just leave?” I asked.

  “No, she hasn’t been back since she went to the hospital—her daughter sent a moving company here. It took them all day to pack up her things and get the place cleared out.”

  “So is she going to be living with her daughter in Baltimore now?” I asked, afraid of the answer.

  “I’m afraid I don’t know. But that would make sense. I know she’s been struggling living in a walk-up. I’m sure this is for the best.”

  “I’m sure it is. Thanks, Mr. Martin,” I told him.

  I walked with heavy steps back down to the fourth floor.

  Mrs. Ramirez—and Osito—seemed to be gone for good.

  Even if it was for the best, I didn’t want to accept it. The thought of never seeing Osito again felt like someone had punched a hole in my heart.

  Maybe Mom was right and it was better never to even have a pet, if this was what losing one felt like.

  The garden outside our community center looked magical. The many twinkle lights Mom had ordered were strung up everywhere, and they sparkled against the evening sky. I heard the strains of the band’s music coming from inside the building.

  After so much preparation, it was hard to believe that the day was finally here: Tali’s quinceañera.

  It was also still so hard to believe how badly I’d messed everything up.

  The thing was, once I’d asked Calvin to go to Tali’s quince, I’d actually almost started to look forward to it. But now there was no Calvin.

  I looked down at myself in the Ruffle Monster. The dress reminded me of Calvin, too—of the day we’d searched for Pancake and I’d missed out on shopping with Mom.

  I stood there, alone, as guests walked past me and into the community center. My parents and Tali had arrived earlier to set things up, but I’d made up an excuse about having to finish some homework so I could lag behind and come on my own. Thankfully, my parents were so frantic that they agreed to this plan. Now I could no longer avoid the inevitable.

  It was true that I still had to finish my coding project. But I wasn’t able to focus on it today, not with relatives constantly calling. My plan was to tackle the project tomorrow so I’d be prepared to present it on Monday. I’d try my best to get an A and keep my grade point average where it was. At this point I figured it was all I could do.

  I stepped inside the lobby, which was crowded with guests—friends and classmates of Tali’s, tons of family members (including Cousin Javier, who was showing off his karate moves to some other cousins), and, of course, Tali herself. She stood there beaming beside her escort, Alex, who looked really handsome in his tux. Tali was a vision in her pink dress, which fit perfectly now. My eyes filled with tears at how pretty and happy my sister looked. As crazy as everything had been, she deserved to have her big day go well.

  A bunch of the littlest kids were gathering in the corner, whooping, and I saw what had drawn their attention: The big pink piñata was hanging there. The one that Calvin had bought.

  Calvin, again.

  At that moment it was all too much. The happy tears that had gathered at the sight of Tali were threatening to turn into something else.

  I knew the party was going to start soon, but I needed another moment alone. I hurried through the crowd and ran back outside.

  And that’s when I saw him, standing under the twinkle lights in a tuxedo.

  Calvin.

  I stared at him, then blinked in case I’d imagined him there. I took a step closer. He was really here. He looked older than he did in his everyday clothes.

  “Calvin … what are you doing … I thought … ?” I stumbled over my words and gave up, still staring at him in surprise.

  “Hey, Ana,” he said quietly, giving me a half smile. “Look, this doesn’t mean that I’m okay with … that I completely forgive you for … everything. But I didn’t want you to have to come to this alone. I know how much you were dreading it.”

  I swiped at my eyes, starting to smile, too. “I was. That was really … nice of you. I … it would be awkward to be without an escort, since it’s my sister’s quince.”

  Calvin’s face changed. “Oh. If you found another escort, I’ll go … I should have asked.” He took a step backward.

  “No! I mean, I didn’t. Find another escort. I’m alone.”

  Calvin’s expression softened. “Not anymore. So … that’s the Ruffle Monster, huh?” He gestured to my dress.

  I felt myself blush. I’d forgotten that I’d told him my nickname for the dress.

  “Yeah. It’s horrible, I know.”

  “It’s not so bad. But I know you hate it, so I apologize.”

  “Wait, why would you apologize?”

  “Phoebe told me. About how your mom got the dress for you after you were late. When you were finding Pancake.”

  I shook my head. “I’d wear this every day if it meant making sure Pancake was safe.”

  “She told me you said that, too,” Calvin said.

  He was staring at me, but not like he was angry. I couldn’t figure out the expression on his face.

  Just then, Mom stuck her head outside. “It’s time to line up for your part, Ana,” she told me.

  “Okay,” I told her. “Oh, this is my escort. This is Calvin. Calvin, this is my mom.”

  “Hi, Mrs. Ramos,” Calvin said. I thought again how grown-up he seemed, in his tux, with his perfect manners.

  Even Mom wasn’t immune to Calvin’s charm, and she gave him a big smile. Then she looked over at me. There was a question in her eyes, but I knew she wouldn’t say anything now. She just gestured for me and Calvin to follow her inside.

  “So will you warn me if I have to do anything specific?” Calvin asked me as we stepped back inside and walked through the lobby.

  “Tali has fourteen sets of attendants, one for each year of her life,” I explained. “I’m—well, we’re—two of them. We have to walk in when they call us, and then stand there.”

  “Okay, cool,” Calvin said. “I can do that.”

  We walked together into the big empty space at the Loisaida Center. Tali and I had taken dance and theater lessons there when we were younger. It was strange to see the space now transformed for a formal party. On one side of the room was the huge table that was already full of food. I heard my stomach rumble—we’d just had cold sandwiches as an early lunch, and I couldn’t wait until the ceremonial part was over and we could eat.

  Tali stood on the stage with her escort, still looking beautiful and surprisingly calm. The band stopped playing and my father stepped up on the stage, using the microphone to call for all the damas and their escorts to line u
p.

  “This is our moment,” I whispered to Calvin.

  He offered me his arm and I took it, feeling a little flutter of nerves in my belly. For the first time it hit me just how embarrassing this part would have been without him here. I would have survived it, of course, but sometimes you want to do more than just survive stuff.

  We all lined up by age, with Calvin and me at the back of the line. I could see Tali’s friends Ella and Haley with their escorts up front. The band started playing an instrumental version of one of Tali’s favorite songs, and we all walked through the middle of the big room, between two rows of chairs that had been set up. Papi announced everyone’s names, and we stepped forward and faced the crowd, forming a semicircle on two sides in front of the band’s platform. We were leaving space for Tali, who walked in last with Alex. Papi introduced Tali, getting a little teary-eyed as he said, “Today my little girl is becoming a woman.”

  He handed the microphone to Tali. I heard just a little quiver of nerves in her voice. I already knew her speech by heart, since she’d been practicing it out loud in our room for weeks. First, she thanked our parents for taking care of her and supporting her, and for throwing her this party. Then she thanked me for being a great sister. Calvin turned to me and I smiled, my face flushed.

  “While I’m on the subject of my sister, Ana, could you come up here?” Tali asked. “I have something for you.”

  I started walking toward the stage while Tali kept talking.

  “I’m cheating a little bit here,” Tali explained to the crowd in her charming way. “My friend Bianca’s family is from Mexico, and she gave her sister a doll on her quince day. That got me thinking about my sister. So I’m borrowing that tradition, but putting my own spin on it.”

  I climbed the stairs of the stage and faced Tali.

  “My sister, Ana, isn’t much of a doll person,” Tali went on. “She gave them up a long time ago, as a matter of fact. But I do have a special ‘doll’ for my very special sister.” She handed me a big box wrapped in—of course—shiny pink paper. I ripped the paper off and laughed when I saw what was inside. It was a kit to build your own solar-powered robot. Perfect for me.