Forbidden Desires

by Jenna Hartley

  “I, um, I didn’t think it was the type of thing you’d be interested in,” I lied. Another lie, and I’d sworn I wouldn’t lie to Xander, at least not outright.

  “Haven’t you realized by now…” He inched closer, cupping my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin. “Anything to do with you, I’m interested.”

  I wanted to melt at his words, sink into his touch, but I was too stressed at the moment. The lies were piling up.

  “So, should I have my tux pressed?” he teased. Or at least, I hoped he was joking.

  “As much as I’d love to have you there, the event is sold out.”

  It was true, but he could’ve come if I’d wanted him to. I had an extra ticket for a date. I wondered what my parents would think if I brought Xander. Would they be able to see past his age, past the tattoos, past his profession as an artist? Or would they dismiss his career like they so easily dismissed my dreams? I wasn’t sure I was ready to find out.

  “Ah. Okay.” He held my gaze, and it felt like he knew I was lying. “Well, it will give me a chance to work on the last piece.”

  “Without me?” I gasped, holding a hand to my chest.

  I was teasing, but in the past few weeks, we’d graduated from painting together to painting side by side. It was relaxing, fun, and I’d learned a lot from him and about him. He’d traveled the world extensively, and India was one of his favorite places. His favorite food had a name I was still trying to pronounce. And his brother, Theo, was his best friend. The more time I spent with him, the harder I fell.

  He was captivating, enigmatic, passionate. He could also be intense and brooding, but he could be surprisingly tender too. Like when I’d cut myself trying to sharpen one of my pencils by hand. He’d taken my hand in his, cleaning the wound before carefully bandaging it.

  “I think I’m ready,” he said, though I sensed hesitation on his part.

  I leaned in, nestling against him. “I know you are.”

  And I did. I just wondered why I couldn’t have the same courage, the same confidence in myself.

  Chapter 11

  Xander

  * * *

  The doorbell buzzed moments before the door opened. “Xander,” Theo called.

  I stared at my reflection, straightening my bow tie yet again. “Be right down.”

  I bounded down the stairs to discover Theo surveying my newest pieces. “These look really good. Some of your best work.”

  “Yeah?” I asked, surprised by the compliment. Theo was always supportive, but he seemed especially enamored of my latest work.

  “Yeah. Really good.” His attention remained on the pieces. “Maybe breaking your wrist wasn’t such a bad thing after all.”

  I barked out a laugh. “I’m not so sure about that.”

  “Well, if you hadn’t, who knows if you would’ve met Kate or developed this new style.”

  He had a point, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to accept that breaking my wrist was a good thing. I was still coming to terms with the fact that I couldn’t draw like I used to, but it seemed to bother me less with each passing day. I had Kate to thank for that.

  “Did you bring it?” I asked.

  He reached into his pocket and held out an envelope, keeping a firm grip on it when I tried to take it from him. “Xander, are you sure this is a good idea?”

  “Why not?” I asked, finally wresting it free from him. I adjusted my jacket, slipping the envelope inside the breast pocket.

  “Well, for starters, what do you really know about this girl?”

  “This girl?” I gnashed my teeth. “Kate’s not just any girl. She’s the girl.”

  His eyes widened. “Whoa. Seriously?”

  I nodded. “I know we haven’t been together long, but she’s it for me. I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s encouraging and supportive. She’s passionate about art. And she’s so beautiful. God, she’s beautiful.”

  He stared at me a moment, his mouth gaping open. “Wow. I—” He shook his head. “I’m happy for you, honestly. I’m just shocked.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you don’t do relationships—ever.”

  I lifted a shoulder, tugging at the collar of my shirt. “I’ve been with enough women to know she’s different.”

  “She definitely is. You do know who her parents are, right?”

  “No.” I frowned, wondering what I was missing. “Should I?”

  “Her dad’s a senator, and it’s rumored he will run for president. And her mom is the heiress to a luxury brand.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, convinced he was making this up. “You’re shitting me.”

  He shook his head. “You really didn’t know?”

  “It never came up.”

  I’d told Kate a lot about my mom, my brother. But I only just now realized that I knew next to nothing about her family, apart from the fact that she had a protective older brother.

  “Yeah, I can see how it might be difficult to talk when your lips are glued together,” Theo said, interrupting my thoughts.

  I chuckled, but he wasn’t too far off. My phone pinged with an alert that my ride was waiting. And with that, I decided to push away my concerns and focus on the future. I might not know much about Kate’s family, but I knew who she was and that was all that really mattered.

  “I’m off,” I said, heading for the door.

  “Good luck,” he called out.

  Despite leaving early, traffic sucked, and I made it to the venue with only minutes to spare. I took the stairs two at a time, anticipating Kate’s reaction when I saw her. Before I could look for the table, I spotted her standing on the balcony, talking with a tall, blond man. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but they were standing close, a little too close. And when he offered her his arm, I watched with envy as they glided down the stairs like a golden couple.

  Was this why she hadn’t wanted me here? Because she had another date?

  My vision clouded with rage, and instead of focusing on the low cut of her dress or the way it hugged her curves, all I could see was his hand resting lightly on her forearm. Her smile as she turned up to him to laugh at something he’d said.

  I considered turning away, disappearing before she could see me. But then I remembered how many times Kate had encouraged me to be brave. How she always told me to lean into my emotions not shy away from them. With a dark chuckle, I marched over to them, thinking she might regret those words in a moment.

  She startled when she saw me, her eyes going wide. “Xander? What are you doing here?”

  The Viking glanced between us, a stupid look on his ridiculously handsome face. If I weren’t so pissed at Kate, I’d be asking him to pose for me because he had an amazing profile.

  I clenched my fists. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your date?”

  “What?” Kate looked between me and the blond Viking, and I saw dawning realization. “You mean Hunter?” She peered up at him then back at me. “He’s my brother.”

  “Oh.” Something in my chest released, and even though I felt like a jerk, I was more relieved than anything. “Oh.” I laughed, feeling a little light-headed.

  “Who are you?” Hunter’s voice was menacing, laced with a threat.

  I opened my mouth to introduce myself, when Kate blurted, “Hunter, this Xander. He’s my professor. I mean boyfriend. I mean friend.” With each additional qualifier, her skin turned a deeper shade of pink.

  Hunter glared at me. “Which is it, Xander?”

  Though I wasn’t surprised she hadn’t told him about me, it still stung. That said, I found her bumbling introduction endearing. I knew she was nervous, and I could understand.

  I held out my hand to shake. “My name is Alexander Kline, and I’m all three.”

  Hunter’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead, his grip on Kate tightening. “Professor?” He gave me a once-over, his eyes lingering on the tattoos peeking out from beneath my shirt. “You’re dating your professor?”

  �
�I’m, well…” Kate hesitated, rubbing her arms.

  Before she could answer, a woman with blond hair, who bore a striking resemblance to Kate, grabbed her brother’s arm. “Hunter, darling.” She smiled, though it was forced. “Keep your voice down. People are starting to stare.”

  “God forbid people stare, Mother.” Hunter rolled his eyes.

  “What is going on here?” A man joined the group, speaking with authority. The cut of his tuxedo was expensive, and his gray hair was slicked back from his face.

  “Professor Kline,” Hunter spat. “Would you care to explain to my father—Senator Pruitt—why you’re taking advantage of a female student?”

  Oh shit. Well, this wasn’t quite the way I’d envisioned introducing myself to her parents.

  “Is this true?” Her dad was seething, glancing between the two of us.

  “Dad, wait—” Kate stepped forward, trying to grab his arm. But her dad didn’t see her coming, and he whacked her in the face with his arm.

  She stumbled backward, covering her cheek with her hand. Her eyes shone with unshed tears, and Hunter curled his arm around her protectively. I stepped toward her, but her father was already advancing on me, blocking my path instead of asking if Kate was okay or apologizing.

  I kept my eyes on her, not caring what her father said next. She was my priority, and if he weren’t a senator—and her father—I would’ve punched him. She shook her head, using the side of her index finger to wipe beneath her eyes.

  “Larry Brown and I go way back,” her father continued. “And you can guarantee that he will be hearing about this.”

  I furrowed my brow, struggling to follow. “Who’s Larry Brown?”

  “Your boss. The chancellor of UCLA.”

  I laughed, some of the tension easing out of me. “First of all, I don’t teach at UCLA. And secondly, LA CAD doesn’t prohibit students from dating professors, so long as they aren’t in a position to influence their grades.”

  “What is he going on about?” Kate’s father asked, turning to her. “What is LA CAD?”

  Her eyes were wide and glassy, and all I wanted to do was hold her, comfort her. I could understand why her parents might not be thrilled with the idea of their daughter dating her much-older professor. But I didn’t understand why they thought I taught at a completely different university.

  A lone tear trickled out, streaking down her cheek. “It’s an art school, Dad. One of the best on the West Coast. And I’m a student there.”

  “This is a joke, right?” her father asked. “Because I can tell you, Katherine.” He wagged his finger at her, and I wanted to snap it off his hand. He was being completely disrespectful to her. But the most shocking thing was that she was allowing it. “This is not amusing.”

  “It’s not a joke.” She hung her head and sniffled. I marveled at the difference between the strong, assertive woman I knew and this…withdrawn, timid girl. “I dropped out of UCLA to attend LA CAD. I’d been meaning to tell you, but…”

  Wait. What?

  Her father’s face was turning a bright shade of red, and he looked ready to explode. “Art school?” he wheezed. “You dropped out of premed at one of the best schools in the nation to attend art school?”

  At this point, people had stopped to gawk at us, though they tried to do it discreetly. Tears rolled down Kate’s face, and I was grateful her brother at least seemed more concerned about her than appearances.

  The volume of the music suddenly dropped, and a man spoke into the microphone on the stage. “If everyone will please take their seats…” But I didn’t hear anything he said after that.

  “It’s my passion,” she said in a soft voice. She finally lifted her head, looking him in the eye. “And I’m good at it.”

  “It’s true, sir,” I said.

  “And I’m supposed to believe you?” he scoffed, his eyes searing into mine. “You’re fucking my daughter.” He sneered

  I jerked my head back as Kate’s mom hissed, “Daniel.”

  Kate stared at him in horror. And her brother looked ready to murder someone. I just hoped it wasn’t me.

  My words were low and menacing when I spoke. “That’s enough. You need to apologize. Both for that comment and for striking Kate earlier.”

  He ignored me, turning toward Kate. “We will discuss this later, young lady,” her father said with a hard glare. “Compose yourself then return to the table.”

  “This is bullshit,” I said under my breath before turning to her. “Come on, Kate.” I held out my hand, expecting her to take it.

  I was still upset she hadn’t told me, but no one deserved to be treated the way her father was treating her. He was an asshole.

  “Leave,” her dad said to me, looking every inch the imperious asshole he was. “You don’t belong here, and I will have security eject you.”

  He straightened, placing his hand on her lower back. “Katherine.”

  She glanced between her father and me, clearly torn. Finally, she said to me, “I can’t.”

  “He treated you like shit, and you’re just going to allow it? What happened to being brave? What happened to conquering your fears?”

  When she said nothing, I scoffed. “You know what—he’s right. I don’t belong here, and I shouldn’t have come.”

  I spun to leave, ignoring Kate when she called my name. I dodged a waiter carrying a tray as I headed for the nearest exit. Once I was in the lobby, I loosened my bow tie, feeling like an idiot.

  “Xander,” Kate panted, a whisper of fabric rustling behind me, her heels echoing loudly in the empty lobby. “Xander, wait. Please.”

  “Why did you lie to me?” I hissed as I spun to face her. I hadn’t realized how mad I was until then.

  For the first time, maybe ever, I’d been vulnerable with someone. I’d shared my hopes and fears, and I’d let her see my insecurities. And now… I swallowed. Well, I was a fucking idiot because she clearly hadn’t felt the same way. Because when you cared about someone, you didn’t lie to them.

  “I didn’t—” She sighed. “I didn’t lie.”

  “Fine. Maybe you didn’t lie, but you failed to tell me something huge that was going on with you. I know I’m new to the whole relationship thing, but I kind of thought communication and trust were key ingredients.”

  My earlier conversation with Theo floated back to me, and it dawned on me just how much I didn’t know about her.

  “I…” She swallowed, her eyes brimming with tears. “You’re right,” she whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion. “I should’ve told you.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  Despite desperately wanting to touch her, I remained rooted to the spot. Like it or not, I wasn’t sure I could trust a word she said. And I knew I couldn’t think clearly when I was touching her. The last few weeks had certainly shown me that. It was as if the cloud of lust had dispersed, making me wonder just how much of it had been real.

  “I don’t know.” She stared at the floor, tracing the lines, the cracks in the tiles. “I liked not having to justify my passion for art, because you get it. You’re one of the few people who has ever taken it seriously, who has ever encouraged me. And I didn’t want that to change.”

  “Kate.” I stepped forward. “That wouldn’t have changed. If anything, I would’ve admired you even more. For defying your parents’ wishes. For having the courage to embrace your dreams. For being so brilliant that you’re not only UCLA premed but also an honors student at one of the most prestigious art schools on the West Coast.”

  She sucked in a breath. “Really?”

  “Yes, really.” I nodded, wishing it could still be that way. “But you didn’t trust me. And that makes me question everything. It makes me question us.”

  She gripped my shirt, enveloping me with her scent. “What we have is real. You know it is. Please don’t discount that because I lied to my parents.”

  I sensed her desperation, and I felt it too. Because it seemed that what we’d had the
last few weeks was slipping through our fingers.

  “But you didn’t just lie to your parents. You lied to me.” As much as it pained me to do it, I took her hands in mine, removing them from my chest. “I came here tonight because I love you.” She gasped, her entire body stilling. “Or at least, I loved the woman I thought you were. Now, I’m not even sure who you really are.”

  Pain flashed in her eyes, mirroring my own. “Xander. Please. Don’t do this.”

  I released her hands, backing away as I shook my head. “You need to figure out who you are and what you want. Until then, I can’t be with you.”

  I turned and walked away, feeling like I was leaving my heart behind.

  Chapter 12

  Kate

  * * *

  “Kate? You in there?” Hunter called through the door to the women’s restroom.

  Layers of tulle settled around me like a cloud, a stark contrast to the storm raging in my heart. Yet I stayed quiet, hoping he wouldn’t ask again. I couldn’t stop the sniffle that escaped, echoing loudly off the marble tile of the bathroom.

  “Kate. Don’t make me come in there.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you dare come in!” I called.

  I half expected him to make another threat, but instead, he said, “Please.”

  With a deep sigh, I stood and made a show of flushing the toilet, using the time to wipe my nose and dab at my eyes before leaving the stall. I didn’t doubt that Hunter would follow through on his threat, but it was his broken “please” that convinced me to comply.

  I walked to the door, allowing him to usher me down a quiet hallway. “Are you okay?”

  I shook my head, glancing toward the entrance to the ballroom. “What are Mom and Dad saying?”

  “Not much. Mom’s smiling and pretending everything’s fine, but Dad looks like he might blow a gasket. Did you really drop out of UCLA to attend art school?”

  I nodded, glancing up at him from beneath my lashes. Hunter had always been a supportive brother. And I was scared to see his reaction, scared to see if he thought I’d made a huge mistake.