Forbidden Desires

by Jenna Hartley

  The corner of his mouth ticked up so quick I almost missed it. “Be careful, Birthday Girl. I might just continue to surprise you.” He winked, causing the heat low in my belly to spread.

  He blinked nice and slow, the gravelly tone of his voice leaving a lingering impression in my chest. I’d have to work on tuning him out, visually and audibly.

  “It’s not my birthday anymore.” My smug reminder only made me feel good for a second.

  He shrugged, unfazed. “Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate all week long.”

  A laugh burst from my throat. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t keep this chivalry up for a full week.”

  His eyes darkened. “I can’t?”

  My throat went dry just as his gaze slipped down from my face. It was only for a moment, but I could feel his stare like a burning torch against my skin. I’m imagining it. Clearly, my crush on my best friend’s brother had fried my brain to the point of imagining he actually wanted me. It was ridiculous to even entertain the idea. Tobias was unquestionably hot, but I wasn’t on this trip to fall in love with my best friend’s brother. And I knew better than to think he wanted anything from me.

  I leaned back, distancing myself from the mirage in front of me. “Okay. Keep up the chivalry if you want to. Maybe I’ll survive this week after all.”

  A dimple indented his left cheek. “I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

  “Ugh,” I groaned. “How about you humor me, at least until dessert?”

  His eyes widened as I registered how well I’d just set him up for another joke. I held up a hand and bowed my head to hide my blush. “Forget I said that, please.” I pulled the menu from the table and opened it. “How about you tell me what you recommend?”

  His lips twitched into a half smile. “Everything. What are you in the mood for? Besides dessert.”

  My lips pinched together as I suppressed an eyeroll. “Steak.”

  “Then get the ribeye. Medium. With the garlic mash on the side. It’s incredible.”

  I decided against the garlic mashed potatoes. The last thing I wanted was for Tobias to get a whiff of my herb-infested breath while we were smashed against each other in the back of his truck. Not that I cared if the stench of my breath annoyed him. It was more of a courtesy thing. He’d let me come along. I at least owed him good breath. I ordered the feta Brussels sprouts instead.

  Once the waitress took our order, our conversation moved into safer territory. He asked me about dance, and I asked him about working at the garage. Innocent, friendly banter. If only we could keep it there.

  “So,” I said once our food was sitting in front of us. “You mentioned not knowing what to do with the land. What have you considered?” As I stabbed another piece of ribeye and brought it to my mouth, I tried my best to act nonchalant. I didn’t want to make him feel like this was an interrogation, but my curiosity wouldn’t let up. Clearly, Tobias kept to himself for a reason. Knowing what I knew now, I feared that reason was trust. And for some strange reason, I wanted him to trust me.

  He reached for his water then eased it to his mouth. In a single slow blink, his eyes locked on mine like he was assessing me. For all I knew, he was debating whether he should trust me. Why did that terrify me?

  “Honestly, I can only think of what I don’t want to do to that space.”

  “What’s that?”

  The teasing smile that spread across his mouth next was so shocking, I almost missed his words. “Build on it.”

  It took a few seconds for my memory to catch up with his words. His bluish-gray eyes sparkled as his smile deepened knowingly since that was exactly what I’d suggested hours ago. My heart sped at the beauty of it all. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen him smile, but I knew I liked it.

  “Whatever I do, I want to keep it open, minimal. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against a busy lifestyle, but when I come here, it’s to get away from the hustle and bustle. Do you ever want to get away?” He stared imploringly into my eyes. “From expectations, distractions, and obligations. Don’t you ever just want to turn it off?”

  “Yes.” The answer came quickly and left me almost breathless, catching me off guard. I’d always been a happy person, the life of the party, easy to get along with. My life was stress free for the most part. But the full day I’d spent with Tobias James had made me realize how much I’d misidentified the perspective I had on my life.

  Life was full of expectations.

  Of greed.

  Of power.

  Nothing was possible without money.

  And if one didn’t have money, power, and things, she was criticized for it. At least that was what I’d experienced in my eighteen years of living. I’d grown accustomed to all sorts of things that didn’t make me feel safe inside. That had thrown me off balance. It was one of the main reasons I drove over two hours a day, five days a week, to take dance classes in LA. It was there I found all the things I’d been lacking at home. At Gravity, I felt free of all the bullshit I’d been taught over the years. I’d begun to gain a new perspective, one I craved more and more.

  I’d been lost in my own thoughts so deeply, it took a second to register the new expression on Tobias’s face. His curiosity shone brightly beneath the large flickering candle that hung above our heads, and his long, dark hair gleamed in the light. I didn’t care that it looked wild and tangled from the mountain winds, that his full lips looked plump and chapped from the sun, or that his smile was a little crooked when he braved one.

  Just sharing a small space with Tobias James showed me a new perspective to life, one that didn’t add up to most people, especially to people like my parents. Tobias had the opportunity to be whatever—whoever—he wanted to be. But that wasn’t what he’d chosen. Instead, he’d chosen adventure. And in that moment, I kind of fell in love with him for it.

  Okay, so love was kind of a strong word for how I felt. Our connection was clearly strong and our attraction inevitable. But love? I still barely knew the guy except for the vibes he put off and what he’d already told me about himself. He was a big ball of mystery, although I wouldn’t call him complicated, just… lost.

  And Trinity would kill me for being interested in him. Why do I keep forgetting?

  “Ready to head back?” he asked.

  I’d finished my steak and had just been guzzling water while staring curiously into his eyes. “Ready if you are.”

  He tossed his napkin onto the table and stood, holding out his hand to me when he did. “I have a tab here.”

  I looked at his hand. It was large and calloused. There was nothing pretty about it. But for some reason, I was eager to feel it wrapped around mine. I placed my hand in his, shivering slightly at the touch and letting him pull me to my feet, all the while knowing I was being ridiculous—I couldn’t let my attraction move past where it had already gone. But the more I seemed to think about not having Tobias James, the more I wanted him, the more I craved him, and the more I couldn’t let go of my curiosity.

  I walked alongside him, feeling as good as I had that one time I’d sneaked a few sips of my mom’s champagne. I was drunk off Tobias’s proximity, and I never wanted the feeling to end.

  As he opened the passenger door of his truck to let me in, I turned around and tilted my chin up to look him directly in the eyes and said exactly what I was thinking in that moment.

  “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

  He nodded, his eyes smoldering like they were burning their way right through me. “I tried to warn you, Birthday Girl. No turning back now.”

  Chapter 8

  Tobias

  * * *

  She’s my little sister’s best friend. That mental reminder should have stopped my raging hard-on in its tracks by the time we arrived back on the lot. But knowing how wrong my feelings were only made me want her more.

  The resistance I’d felt when she had first asked to come on the trip hit me hard when I started setting up the bed of my pickup
for us to sleep. Sure, we’d managed to spend an entire night together in a hotel room without anything happening, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want anything to happen.

  The gray and red tent was almost as tall as me and customized to fit the back of my truck. The mattress was firm, fitting snugly against the walls around us. Between all the blankets Amelia had brought and all the pillows I had brought, our sleeping area looked like a legit porno shoot.

  On second thought, my mind had possibly gone to “porno shoot” after seeing Amelia’s sleeping attire.

  She walked out of the big tent wearing shorts and a tank top. The outfit was hardly porno material, but when she crawled onto the bed of my truck, I may have had a dirty thought or twenty.

  She wasn’t wearing a bra, not that I was trying to notice. I wasn’t. But it was a little difficult not to when she walked into our sleep space with the heat lamp directly over her tight white tank, calling attention to her tits like a fucking lighthouse.

  I need to get my head out of the gutter.

  “I need to buy a sweater tomorrow,” she said. “I didn’t realize how cold it would get up here.”

  Don’t look. Don’t look.

  “We can go first thing.”

  “Thanks,” she said with a sigh. Then she pointed to the bed. “Which side is yours?”

  I bit the inside of my lip to keep from smiling. “I sleep in the middle, usually, so either side is fine.”

  She quirked a brow, and I already knew where the conversation was headed. “Really, so you’ve never brought a girl out here?”

  I ground my teeth at the reminder. “Nah. You’re the first stubborn one who wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

  She returned my asshole comment with a glare. “Too bad.” She nodded toward the bed. “This is, like, the optimal sex pad.”

  Something about how nonchalantly she said “sex pad” tensed my shoulders. “I didn’t realize you were so experienced.”

  Her blush deepened. “I’m not. But a guy like you—”

  I put my palm in the air, facing her. “I’m going to stop you there before that mouth of yours says something you’ll regret. You did a stellar job of not pissing me off today, and I might actually enjoy having you around. So can you get into this bed and shut the hell up?”

  She let out a small breath before narrowing her eyes. “What makes you think I’d respond to that kind of request?”

  I batted my eyes at her. My chest was on the verge of exploding from the pressure. “Please.”

  A half growl, half scream slipped past her lips before she pushed past me toward the bed.

  I followed her lead, crawling under the beige comforter and turning to the opposite side so our asses were facing each other. I couldn’t risk accidently rubbing against her when just her presence made me spring to life like a prepubescent boy.

  “I wasn’t going to say anything bad.”

  “Huh?” I grumbled, confused by what she was talking about.

  “When I said ‘a guy like you,’ I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

  “Then how did you mean it?”

  “It’s just… I remember how popular you were in high school. It’s not like you had trouble with the ladies. I mean, I wouldn’t have called you a player or anyth—”

  “I’m not a player. Never was.”

  Her head snapped to find my eyes over her shoulder. “Th-that’s what I said.”

  She was right, but something about her words—just the fact that she’d thought about me being a player or not—pissed me the hell off.

  If I’m angry, then why am I sporting a boner the size of Texas?

  Amelia was nothing like anyone I’d ever dated before. She was young. She was good. And I wasn’t the kind of guy who did “good” well.

  “You should probably stop talking before that mouth of yours gets you in trouble.”

  She laughed softly. “Damn, okay, but only after you tell me why you haven’t brought anyone else here.”

  I wasn’t about to let her be the only one to ask questions.

  “Sure,” I finally said. “But then you have to answer a question for me.”

  “Deal.”

  I smiled at the ease with which she agreed, and a sick part of me wanted to see how far I could push it. I wouldn’t, though. I stood by what I’d told her. Just because I’d been a bit of a flirt in high school didn’t mean I had dated every chick who’d walked by me. A few girls stuck out in my mind, but none of them had ever lasted more than a few months. And that wasn’t because I’d gotten bored and tossed them, or cheated, or done any of that shit. It was because basketball had always come first, and no one had understood that except me.

  “Contrary to what most people believe, I didn’t date much in high school or even college. I was focused on basketball, and that didn’t leave much time for girls. And this past year has been about other things. No chicks allowed.”

  “I’m a chick.”

  I bit my lip to keep from laughing. I didn’t want Amelia to know just how much I was enjoying her company. “Yeah, well. You don’t count. You’re safe.”

  The silence that came next felt far too heavy. Maybe I should have quit while I was ahead.

  “Good to know.” She flipped her body so her back was facing me. “Well, thank you for letting me crash your trip.” Her tone was quieter, almost apologetic.

  I frowned. “Hey.” There was a tightening in my chest. I should have never told her she didn’t count or that she was safe, because neither of those things was true.

  When she didn’t turn back around or speak, I slid closer, until my lips could reach her ear. I felt her entire body tense beside mine. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you were my first.”

  Light laughter floated from Amelia’s throat. Her body shook slightly, and my mouth pulled into a slow smile. I could get used to that sound, to the way her body moved, to her warmth, to this feeling.

  I felt myself start to doze off when the sleep-filled rasp of her voice shocked me completely still.

  “You say that like maybe I’m not so safe after all.”

  If I hadn’t considered Amelia dangerous before, I certainly did then. She wasn’t anything like I’d expected. Even after all these years—of living so close to her, of hearing her giggle with my sister in the bedroom next to mine, of ignoring her as she chased my sister around the pool in her tiny red bikini—I hadn’t given much thought to my sister’s best friend. But in the span of one week, everything had changed.

  Everything.

  Chapter 9

  Amelia

  * * *

  “Do you see yourself playing basketball again?”

  We were sitting on a set of chairs near the edge of the bluff while eating our breakfast when I decided to ask the question I’d feared asking yesterday. If there was one thing I understood about Tobias, it was the level of commitment he had for basketball. But more than that, I understood his passion. He carried a basketball the way I executed a jazz walk, with enough confidence to intimidate most.

  “Didn’t we talk about this yesterday? I messed up, remember?”

  “Jeez, Tobias. You took a year off. You’re only twenty-one. It’s not like you’re forty.”

  “You don’t get it. Abandoning my team doesn’t exactly help my chances. I didn’t even defer school or anything. I just quit.”

  He’d given up before he’d even really tried.

  “So that’s it? No more basketball? Ever?” I didn’t care how incredulous my tone sounded. He should know how ridiculous he was being. “You don’t just give up on your dreams, Tobias. Not when you’ve worked your entire life. And not when you’re as talented as you are. You have a gift most wish they had even a smidge of. Don’t waste it.”

  “Well, thanks, but it’s not that simple. I don’t even remember what it’s like to hold a ball.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  “It doesn’t matter, Amelia. I’d be rusty as hell and in need of some serious trainin
g before even considering it.”

  “Then pick up a damn ball.”

  He chuckled in a way that weighed heavily in my chest. I wouldn’t let him give up on himself. I couldn’t. But I didn’t understand why Tobias had to be so stubborn. What would it take for him to remember what it felt like to fly down that court and take that buzzer shot from the fifty just in time to break the tie and win the game?

  Maybe this was my purpose in Tobias’s life—and my reason for going on this trip—to help him rekindle his love for the game and to somehow get him to hold a ball in his hands again.

  “You’re cute when you’re angry. You know that?”

  My entire body heated at his words, and I just knew my face had turned red. “Don’t change the subject. You don’t get to avoid this.” My eyes caught on his truck, and an idea sparked. “Tell me you have a ball with you.”

  He hesitated, and I knew the answer before he even responded.

  I smiled, my lips spreading wide. “Let’s go to a court today. I’m sure there’s one nearby.”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Dead serious.”

  He sighed, and his head lolled behind him before straightening again. “All right, Birthday Girl. Your wish is my command. But you’ll need to do something for me in return.”

  I squealed and jumped in my chair, feeling the cold splash of milk and cereal hit my chest and drip between my breasts. “Shit.” I reached for a napkin just as Tobias handed one to me.

  His eyes connected with mine. “You need to dance for me.”

  “What?”

  He laughed and shrugged. “If I’m going to play ball, then you’re going to dance.”

  As we drove off in the truck to find a basketball court, I had to fight hard with myself to ignore how tired and achy I was from a restless sleep. But by the sound of Tobias’s breathing during the night, I was certain he’d had just as much trouble as me.

  We passed through the ranger station, and he paid them at the entrance, then we drove in about a mile until we reached a sandy clearing that overlooked the ocean.