I'm With You

by Taylor Dean

  “Yes.” Chloe watched him grab his bowl and spoon and begin to shovel the icy treat into his mouth. The slight breeze blew his blond locks and the moisture from the misters caused his skin to shine. He still wore his wedding ring, she noticed. She still wore hers too. Maybe he was more upset over losing his wife than he was letting on. Of course he was.

  Even so, the notion that he needed her had never crossed her mind. Evidence of her self-absorption. Was she really helping him by spending time together?

  A small unwanted smile crept over her features. It felt good to help someone else for a change. She was tired of being poor Chloe. It was nice to think about someone other than herself, to think about how someone else is feeling. What a concept. It made her forget about herself. It was healing in a way she’d never understood. All at once, she wanted to know everything about him, to know what he was thinking, to know what he was experiencing.

  “So where is your new house? Tell me all about it. I’m obsessed with homes and architecture and decorating. Don’t leave out a single detail.”

  He perked up, his face immediately softening. “Not far from here,” he said while dangling the keys in the air as if he was teasing her. “Do you want to go see it? I’m in desperate need of your expert advice.”

  “You want to take me to go see your house?”

  “No, not really. I was just asking to be polite.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

  “Jack!”

  “Yes, I want you to come and see my new house. That’s why I asked.”

  Chloe liked the playful side of Jack. “Okay, I’d love to go see it. Let’s go right now.”

  “All right,” he stood. “But I’m warning you, it’s not what you think.”

  “Not what I think? Oh my gosh, did you buy a fixer upper? Please say yes. My heart is racing with excitement.”

  “Yes, it’s a fixer upper, but control your excitement or you’ll be sadly disappointed. The house is a wreck and I’m in way over my head. But it was such an amazing place, Chloe, I just couldn’t pass it up.”

  “Are you kidding? Of course not.”

  They hopped into the jeep and Chloe felt different, free and happy. Jack needed her and she’d be there for him.

  “So tell me more about your new place,” she said.

  “It’s in the outskirts of Gilbert, once known as the ‘Hay Shipping Capital of the World.’ It’s only had one owner, an older couple who lived there for over thirty years. Many moons ago they were farmers, but have long since retired. Over the years, the city has built up around them. The house was built in the seventies, and it looks like it. Entering is like walking back in time, yet they kept up their home meticulously. The structure is in amazing shape. The décor however is, well, you’ll see.”

  They drove to the city limits of the formerly sleepy little town of Gilbert. Jack navigated to a dead end street on the edge of town, dotted with mismatched houses. The house was on a small piece of property and while the front yard was the typical rock and cactus terrain Arizona was known for, the backyard was huge with a large grassy area, and lots of fruit trees. Most unique for Arizona. The location gave you the feeling you lived on the outskirts of town, yet Gilbert was a stone’s throw away—the best of both worlds.

  “There’s a canal behind the house that’s used for irrigation. On my assigned days, I let the water flood the yard and my backyard turns into a lake for an afternoon. That’s how I water the lawn out here. Pretty cool, huh?”

  “Amazing,” Chloe muttered, distracted by the house. It was a pueblo-style adobe house, most commonly seen in New Mexico, especially Santa Fe and Albuquerque. The unique structures had spread to parts of Arizona as well. They were especially known for their thick walls which kept the inside cool when it was hot outside—perfect for Arizona. The exterior was an earth-brown color that nearly camouflaged the home against the arid landscape. It would have looked quite drab if it weren’t for the fake brown shutters gracing each window, making it look…charming. It was a two story, flat roofed home and almost resembled a bunch of boxes piled on top of each other. The traditional wooden ladder sat atop the lower roof, inviting one to climb higher, although Chloe wouldn’t trust the rickety old thing. It was just for show. It was an amazing home, filled with personality and character.

  “Not too shabby, considering it’s the second house I’ll own by the age of thirty, eh? The important things are in great condition, the plumbing and electricity have been updated, the AC is brand new. But…”

  The details about the house registered, but the item she gleaned from his statement was that he was thirty. Chloe had been wondering about his age. There were only three years between them. Focus, Chloe. “Is it really bad?”

  “Oh, Chloe. Bad’s too nice of a word.”

  Little did Jack know, Chloe couldn’t wait to see it and her heart hammered in her chest. She loved exploring old homes. She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d been this excited.

  “Before we go in, I should probably mention one other thing,” Jack said with obvious trepidation.

  “What?”

  “I’m not sure how you’re going to feel about this.”

  “What? There’s a resident ghost?”

  Jack appeared speechless. “No, but thanks for putting that creepy thought in my head.”

  “You never know what has gone on in these old houses.”

  “Do you want me to lose sleep at night?” he asked with a wry smile.

  “Sorry. Go on,” she said contritely.

  “The house has been deserted for almost a year. There’s a teeny, tiny problem with a minor scorpion infestation.” He held up his thumb and index finger, squished close together, to indicate tiny. “So, don’t take your shoes off and watch where you step. C’mon, let’s go in,” he said quickly as he headed towards the front walk.

  Chloe froze in place. “Jack, there is no such thing as a minor infestation. Especially when scorpions are involved.” Chloe had a quick Indiana Jones mental image of Jack, showing her around the house proudly, then, completely unaware, turning around with his back covered in scorpions. Frozen in terror, she’d scream until she passed out and the scorpions would attack her lifeless form.

  Stop it, Chloe. You’ll freak yourself out.

  It was just that…scorpions were a lot worse than spiders. No, maybe that was debatable. “Now I don’t want to go in,” she voiced.

  “Pretend like I didn’t tell you. Ignorance is bliss. I’ve been here three times and I’ve never seen one yet.”

  That’s because they were chilling out on your back.

  “Don’t worry,” he continued, “I’ll yell and swing my arms if I see one coming. Give ya heads up.”

  “That’s not funny.”

  “It kinda is.”

  Chloe relented. When she entered the house, she didn’t see anything scurrying around. But she held up her dress, just so as not to catch a hitchhiker.

  Jack was right. The inside was horrible. Maybe even atrocious. Yet, strangely immaculate. While the outside was traditional pueblo-style, the inside lived in a time warp. The front door acted as a veritable time machine, transporting visitors right back into the seventies. There’d been no attempt whatsoever to make the outside match the inside. It was as if the two extreme styles had had a fight and the inside won.

  Chloe stepped back out onto the porch, just to make sure they were still in the right house. Yep, pueblo on the outside, seventies on the inside. Unbelievable. The first thing that struck her was the sunken living room and multi-leveled living of the first floor. It was architecturally incredible. A few stair steps here and a few stair steps there, all leading to different areas of the house, making her want to explore all the intricacies the home had to offer.

  But it was green.

  Everything was green. Not just green, puke green.

  The carpet was green, the heavily ornate drapes on the huge living room window were green, and the walls were green. Ugh. That wasn’t the worst of it
. The countertops in the kitchen were avocado green. In the bathroom, the toilets and bathtubs were even green.

  “I think Kermit the Frog may secretly be living here,” Jack stated.

  “Good. Maybe he’ll eat the scorpions. You know, I half expect to see Greg and Marsha bouncing down the stairs at any minute,” Chloe remarked, to which Jack chuckled.

  The black and white print on the linoleum floors of the kitchen and dining area literally followed you wherever you walked. Yet they were in amazingly good condition, and shined from their last waxing. Did people still wax floors?

  “Wow, the past residents really took good care of their home. I see why you bought the place. You have a good eye, Jack. It has amazing potential. It just needs a major makeover.”

  “Wait till you see the bonus. I’ve saved it for last.” Jack took her back up the stairs, to a doorway she hadn’t noticed. It held a circular staircase.

  “A third story?” she asked.

  “Nope.”

  Chloe gasped with excitement. “A rooftop deck?”

  “Yes ma’am,” Jack said, grinning from ear to ear.

  The rooftop deck overlooked the backyard and was surprisingly spacious. There was only one downside and Chloe brought it up immediately. “It’s really hot out here. I feel like a tuna melt under the broiler.”

  “Makes me wonder if this space was used very often.” As if to prove his point, a bird suddenly soared past, startling Jack. He nearly jumped out of his skin. “Guess he wasn’t expecting humans to be in his flight path,” Jack said with a lopsided grin. “I’m gonna have a patio cover built. I’ll have patio misters installed too. Otherwise I’ll never use it.”

  “Good idea. This is too amazing to never be enjoyed.”

  Despite the remarkable view and incredible roof space, they headed downstairs before they melted in the glaring sun.

  “Give me the bad news,” Jack said. “How major of a job is this?”

  “The décor, as well as the style, is all wrong. It hurts my eyes to look at it. The kitchen and the bathrooms will need to be gutted. The house is in need of new fixtures throughout, and all new kitchen appliances as well. New flooring and baseboards goes without saying. I’d knock down a few walls too, open the place up a bit. I like an open concept home. Everything needs to be repainted, even the doors and doorframes. But, I love the beehive fireplace. It’s not always easy to find a home in Arizona with a fireplace.”

  “So, will you take the job?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You’re an interior designer, right? Will you take on the job of designing my new home? I’m not asking you for a favor, I’d like to hire you.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes, why do you think I wanted to show it to you? I love the way you’ve decorated your home. It’s my taste exactly. Stylish and classy, yet comfortable. Nothing is overstated. But I don’t have a clue how to do any of that stuff. Nor do I have the time. I need help and I want you. Are you free to take on this job?”

  As a matter of fact, there was absolutely nothing on her calendar. Nada. She hadn’t taken on another job since she’d completed the last job a few weeks ago. But she didn’t tell him that.

  “I think I can fit it in.”

  “You’ll do it?” he asked.

  “I’m just a designer, Jack. But I have a great contractor I work with on a regular basis. Between us, we can get the job done.”

  “How much of the work do you do?”

  “The contractor does the main renovations according to our vision. He’ll draw up the plans according to our instructions and execute them. I’m here every step of the way, ensuring everything is done correctly. I take on several design projects as well, and I complete the makeover, designing and furnishing your home right down to the last detail.”

  “Okay, good. Just checking. I want the house to be designed by you. I want your personal mark on it. I’m impressed with your work.”

  Chloe didn’t know what to say. She felt flabbergasted by his praise. Did she want to do this job? It meant spending a lot of time with Jack, much more than she’d imagined. This was a big project, a major renovation. It meant being in his home for the next couple months at least. Was it wise to spend so much time with him?

  Why not? We’re friends. That’s all.

  This was her chance to get out of the slump she was in. This was the lifeline she’d been looking for. Chloe looked him in the eyes. “I do have one condition, though.”

  “Name it.”

  “First order of business is an exterminator. Or I’m not stepping foot in here ever again.”

  “Deal,” he laughed.

  “Okay, I’ll do it.”

  Jack surprised her by taking her in his arms, and twirling her around. “Thank you, Chloe. I know it’ll look amazing by the time you’re done with it. You have carte blanche. What you say goes. I trust you.”

  “Jack, don’t you want any say on how your house turns out?”

  “Surprise me. If you do it, I know I’ll love it.”

  Homeowners who say that never stay true to their word. They have opinions they didn’t even know they had. They just don’t know how to voice them. “Hmmmm, I’ve always wanted to do a home in purple with orange polka dots. I don’t know why no one’s ever wanted it. This would be the perfect home for it,” Chloe muttered while looking around, mental calculations running through her mind with excitement.

  “Purple with orange polka dots?” Jack asked, sounding worried. “Are you messing with me, young lady?”

  “Maybe.”

  He guffawed. “For just a small little moment, I thought you were serious.”

  Chloe simply smiled. This job would be good for her.

  Moving forward, but never forgetting.

  I’ll never forget. Never.

  Chloe agonized over her decision to work for Jack. She tossed and turned, hardly sleeping. She couldn’t quite pinpoint why the concept made her nervous, but it did. It was an amazing opportunity and she chalked up her anxiety to recent major lifestyle changes.

  She’d read about it online: Physicians confirm that there are certain life events that the majority of humans find very stressful.

  Change was a common cause of stress and depression. All the articles she’d read stated it as a fact. Especially the big changes—birth, death, marriage, divorce, financial problems, moving…a spouse leaving you for another person. Okay, that wasn’t listed, but it should be. At any rate, she’d experienced a few of the biggies. She needed to give herself a break.

  Regardless, today was one of her bad days and she couldn’t shake her grief. She’d made progress lately, experiencing more good days than bad days. And she owed it all to Jack. He’d been a friend to her when she needed someone the most.

  The doorbell rang and Chloe answered it in spite of her mood. It was her neighbor, Jennifer, a lady who stopped by and checked on her every so often. She held a huge plate of cookies in her hands.

  “Hello dear. I won’t stay, I just wanted to drop these by for you.”

  Chloe gulped. She’d never be able to eat the entire plate of cookies herself. Maybe if Mark was still here. But she preferred to not announce that he’d left her. “Hi Jen, thank you so much. That was very thoughtful of you.”

  “I just thought I’d stop by and see how you’re doin’,” Jen said brightly.

  “I’m okay, thanks,” Chloe answered, forcing a smile.

  “Did you go see that counselor I told you about? He’s wonderful. He helped me so much during my bout with postpartum depression.”

  “No, I haven’t. I really am fine.”

  “Yes, but you ought to be better by now, sweetie. I don’t like seeing that frowning face all the time.”

  Jen was a mother of six young children and she treated everyone she came in contact with as if they were one of her offspring.

  “For a few months, it was okay. But now I want to see your smiling face. You’re so beautiful when you smile.” Jen hugged her tigh
tly. “Listen, we had to put down our cat of ten years a few weeks ago, so I do know how you feel. She was like one of my children. Loss is a horrible thing. Time helps.” Jen swiped away a tear. “I’ll be off. Take care, sweetie.”

  Chloe closed the door, her head swirling with mixed emotions. She knew beloved pets often became family members. She knew it was extremely hard to lose a family pet. She’d experienced similar emotions as a child when they’d lost their German Shepherd. It was just that…the two experiences didn’t compare. Not at all. Chloe fought with her extreme emotions for a moment, a strange mixture of anger and appreciation swelling in her breast. Anger that the woman assumed she knew how she felt after losing an animal and appreciation that she’d taken the time to think of her. It seemed the two contrasting feelings were constantly at war within her. Jen was well meaning and a neighbor she could rely on in a time of need. She really was a wonderful lady and a huge support to Chloe.

  But why did her grief need to be on someone else’s timeline?

  A year ago, she’d been surprised by the sympathy and love granted her by her friends and family. As time went by, however, they slowly slipped from her life.

  Sorry my grief makes you uncomfortable during the moment I verbalize my feelings and share my anguish with you. It will haunt me for eternity. I can’t get away from it, or leave it, or discard it. I don’t want this in my life any more than you want it in yours. When you leave my presence, you will leave it all behind, most likely with relief in your soul. I never will.

  Evidently, with time, it was expected that she stop grieving, stop hurting, stop talking about it, and pretend like nothing ever happened.

  That had been her mistake. She’d used up her statute of limitations where grief was concerned. Time to be happy now, Chloe.

  It didn’t work that way, though.

  The pain didn’t take a break. She couldn’t put it away on a shelf, or wipe it away, or vacuum it up. It was always there. Always.

  If only they could understand. But then they’d have to experience what she’d experienced. And she didn’t wish that on anyone.