I'm With You

by Taylor Dean

  Chloe knew she couldn’t utter a single word. So she nodded in the affirmative as a sob escaped. Jack took a ring out of his pocket and placed it on her finger. It was a brilliant diamond-laden band done in white gold, tiny and delicate.

  He stood and pulled her close, kissing her ever so softly on the lips as she tried to control her emotions.

  “Are these happy tears?” Jack asked with concern.

  “I’m sorry. Yes, happy tears. I thought a sweet life had been stolen from me. I thought I would never find happiness again. I was so sure my life was ruined forever. Then you suddenly appeared on my doorstep and you wouldn’t leave me alone for one single day. I didn’t know what to make of you at first.”

  “And now?”

  “Now I can’t live without you. You are everything to me, Jack. My very breath.”

  “I feel the same, Chloe.”

  Jack placed his lips on hers, kissing her deeply and longingly, a kiss meant for a newly engaged couple, a kiss that merely hinted at the passion between them.

  “That was a beautiful proposal,” she whispered. Desperately, she wanted to say something significant to Jack, something of equal magnitude to the words he’d just uttered. He’d left her speechless. There were no words to thank him for the tremendous gift he’d just bestowed upon her. He’d given her a life filled with hope.

  Life had taken a very unexpected turn. She’d gone from experiencing utter despair to finding a man who would stand at her side, no matter what life threw at them. Jack was the kind of man who would always be there for her, she knew it without a shadow of a doubt. The thought made her heart sing.

  “I have dinner ready for us. I thought it best to not propose over a table of dirty dishes,” Jack said with a wink.

  Like Mark had done.

  Yet it had been a memorable moment; a romantic dinner in an elegant restaurant followed by a heartfelt proposal. She’d never once thought about the dirty dishes littering the table.

  Leave it to Jack to do everything with class. No detail went unnoticed.

  Chloe wondered if she’d always feel sadness when she thought of Mark. Their marriage, and even their attempt at parenthood, felt like phenomenal failures. And now they’d both moved on, swapping spouses as if they were on an ill-fated reality TV show. The irony of the situation often bothered her.

  Jack’s fingers held her chin, moving her head up until she met his eyes. “Hey, are you okay? You went all quiet and serious on me.”

  “Sometimes memories of my past make me sad. They creep in and I feel guilty for being happy.”

  Jack’s face darkened. “Is this too soon, Chloe? If you need more time, I understand. I know it’s bad-mannered to marry on the heels of a divorce.”

  “No,” she said emphatically, even surprising herself. “I have no doubts about you, Jack. None whatsoever. It doesn’t stop me from thinking about what might have been though. Does that bother you?”

  “No. My thoughts go there sometimes too. Then I thank my lucky stars I found you,” he said with a mischievous grin. “I appreciate your honesty though,” he added, then kissed her again.

  They ate by candlelight, whispering their hopes and dreams for their future life together. They snuggled up on the couch and sat for hours by the fire pit, holding each other and kissing. Jack sat behind her and massaged her shoulders. All the while, Chloe imagined the love life she was destined for with Jack. He was a passionate man, considerate with his touch. A life with him would be very good indeed.

  “Shall we go for a swim?” he asked.

  It was nearing midnight and it was time for their late-night swim.

  “I’d love to.”

  The bathing suit fit her perfectly, a feat of unparalleled proportions. The yearly bathing suit search was a dreaded and often unsuccessful event. Chloe wondered if he’d rallied his sisters for help.

  When she stepped out onto the patio, Jack was waiting for her, sitting by the poolside, his feet in the water. A bird flew overhead and she could’ve sworn that she saw him flinch. She opted to not comment on his phobia—even though it was tempting to tease him mercilessly. She sat next to him, looping one arm through his. “It’s so peaceful out here.”

  “Yes,” he said. Slowly, he submerged himself into the glassy surface. He turned and held out his hands.

  “Resistance is futile,” he said silkily.

  Chloe sliced through the cool water and into Jack’s waiting embrace. “Who’s resisting?” Their bodies entwined as they clung together, their skin sleek against each other’s. They floated lazily around the pool, content to be in each other’s arms.

  “I love this house, I absolutely love every single thing about it,” Jack stated. “But…I’m not satisfied.”

  “You’re not?” Chloe questioned, taken aback by his words.

  “No. It’s not enough for me. I want more. All I can think about is me and you living here together, and what that will be like. It’s empty without you, just a shell. I think about our children running through the house. I think about our laughter bouncing off the walls. Sometimes I can close my eyes and hear it. It seems so real. Mostly I think about me and you, making love in every room of the house.”

  Chloe smiled. “Oh my.”

  “Sorry. I have a one track mind right now.”

  “Don’t apologize. If we weren’t attracted to each other, I’d be worried.”

  “No problem there,” he said as he cornered her at the side of the pool, his lips hovering over hers, his hands sliding down the sides of her body.

  “I’m glad you proposed to me here. It’s the beginning of our memories in this house. It was perfect. I’ll never forget it, Jack. Thank you for making this night perfect.”

  “You’re welcome,” he mumbled as his lips descended on hers, hard and demanding.

  There was no more talking for the rest of the evening. Chloe was swept away by Jack as they floated around the pool. He kissed her in a way she’d never been kissed, never seeming to tire of their lips pressed together, never seeming to be able to get close enough, never seeming to be able to delve deep enough, and never once coming up for air as he breathed her in.

  Chloe was struck by the fact that she and Jack now had a history, they now had memories, precious memories of their own. No one could take that away from them, and he was now irrevocably a part of her life, and she of his.

  Jack and Chloe had been engaged for a week when Chloe came home to find that someone was in her house.

  There was only one person it could be.

  After she closed the front door loudly, Mark wandered out of the guest room and stood at the top of the stairs, a box in his arms.

  “Hi Chloe,” he said simply.

  She’d actually forgotten the smoothness of his voice, the way it slid over her like silk sheets on bare skin.

  “Hi Mark.” She sounded distant, wary, even to her own ears.

  “Sorry, I’d hoped to be out of here before you returned home.”

  “No problem.” Cold, so cold. Resentment surged inside of her, scaring her with its intensity.

  “I’m just picking up the rest of my things.”

  It was really over between them. For the first time, the thought didn’t overwhelm her with sadness. She had a new life with Jack and the future looked bright.

  “Would you like some help?” she asked.

  “Sure.”

  Chloe ascended the stairs feeling a little nervous. She hadn’t been alone with Mark in quite some time and she wondered if they had anything to talk about, besides the elephant in the room, that is.

  There were several boxes piled on the bed. Mark was systematically emptying his dresser and the contents of his closet into the boxes. “Sorry about the mess.”

  Chloe shrugged. “I’m learning to let it go.”

  They set to work in silence, the tension thick.

  “How are you, Chloe?” he finally asked, carefully folding his t-shirts.

  “When you left I wasn’t fine. Bu
t I am now.” He stilled. She was pretty sure he wasn’t expecting such an honest answer.

  “I’m sorry. I really am,” he said with velvety smoothness.

  “Sorry isn’t good enough, Mark. It never will be.”

  “I know that.”

  “Do you?” Chloe took a deep breath. What was she doing? Why was she picking a fight? They were over. It was time to let go of any and all bitterness. She’d found happiness with Jack. There was no reason to hold on to her anger towards Mark. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m still a little sensitive when it comes to you.”

  “I think you have the right to be upset with me.”

  The positive aspect about Mark is that he knew when he was in the wrong. However, knowing he was wrong never changed his actions. He pushed forward, determined to do whatever it was that he was going to do, the consequences be damned. She appreciated that he knew he’d behaved badly, but she wished the knowledge would’ve somehow changed the outcome. Regardless, his remorse sure made it hard to stay angry with him.

  Mark stilled, staring at her hand. “Does that ring on your finger mean what I think it means?” he queried suddenly, as if he’d just noticed it and couldn’t help but blurt out the question.

  “Yes.”

  “You and Jack?” he asked incredulously.

  “Yes.”

  “I like him. He seems like a good man. I’m happy for you.”

  Chloe tossed his socks in a box, followed by a few special occasion handkerchiefs. “I don’t think he likes you too much. After you took off with Taryn, he came here looking for you, to give you a piece of his mind. That’s how we met.”

  “Taryn thinks he’s hooking up with you to make her jealous.”

  “Is it working?”

  “I’d say so.”

  Chloe wasn’t sure how she felt about this revelation. “Are you happy, Mark?”

  He folded a couple of dress shirts and placed them in a box as if they were made of glass. “No.”

  Silence filled the room as his announcement took root. “You’re not?”

  “No. Taryn and I are no longer seeing each other. It didn’t work out.”

  “Oh.” Chloe wondered if Jack knew about their break-up. “I’m sorry.”

  “Are you really?”

  “Well, no, I guess not.”

  Mark laughed out loud. “You always were a brutally honest person, Chloe. Remember the time you told me my socks smelled at the end of the day and you could hardly stand to pick them up to put them in the washer?”

  The memory flooded her mind. “That was a bit harsh.”

  “Yes it was. But I did get you back.”

  “That was beyond cruel, Mark Brennan.” She’d gone to bed, tossing and turning, until she finally asked Mark what smelled so bad in their bedroom. He’d started to laugh and she knew something was up. Then she found that Mark had taken his unwashed socks and stuffed them in her pillowcase. She’d chased him around the house, throwing the disgusting things at him and he’d laughed until he could hardly breathe. Then she tackled him and they’d…

  Mark had gone still at the memory and they stared at each other for a moment, both remembering what had happened next.

  Chloe shook her head. It was probably best to not think about intimate moments with your former spouse.

  “We did have some good times, you and me,” Mark stated.

  Chloe taped a box shut. “Yes, we did.”

  “I’m sorry, Chloe. I was wrong to desert you…and our son.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes. In many ways, she’d needed to hear Mark admit it. It somehow validated her bitter feelings.

  Mark ceased all pretense of packing. “I can’t change the past. All I can do is apologize.”

  “Thank you,” was all she could manage.

  “Having Christopher changed you, Chloe. And it changed me too. It took me awhile to realize we could never go back, that we’d never be the same again.”

  Chloe had come to this realization also. She nodded.

  “I couldn’t handle it, Chloe. It was just too much. My blood pressure…it…never mind,” Mark ended abruptly.

  “What about your blood pressure?”

  “It doesn’t matter now.”

  “Mark, tell me, please.”

  Mark slowly pulled a few miscellaneous items off his closet shelf and tossed them in a box. “When you were pregnant with Christopher, when we knew we were going to lose him, my blood pressure skyrocketed through the roof. I couldn’t concentrate, I was dizzy, I was sick to my stomach. I could hardly look at you, Chloe, knowing what was happening inside of you. The entire ordeal made me sick.”

  Chloe’s hands froze midair. “You never told me about your blood pressure or about being ill.”

  Mark concentrated on wrapping a few breakables in tissue paper. “You didn’t need one more thing to worry about. The doctor said it was all stress related. I’m fine now.”

  Mark had been just as affected by Christopher as she had. The symptoms of grief had simply manifested themselves differently in him. “You were seeing a doctor?”

  He shrugged. “Yeah. It was a rough time.”

  Chloe had no idea he’d had such a hard time. He’d hidden his feelings from her, leaving her to believe he’d felt indifferent.

  “I should have been there for you, Chloe. I’m sorry I wasn’t. I guess I just don’t have it in me to face something like that.”

  Chloe didn’t know what to say. They stood across from each other, communicating in a way she wished they could have done long ago. Between them stood nearly-filled boxes, stuffed with a lifetime of belongings, making the situation even more pitiful. The experience had torn them apart. They should have clung to one another, supported each other. Instead, they’d completely abandoned each other. And Mark had eventually found someone else.

  Chloe closed another box, taping it as if the contents were trying to escape. “Thank you for being honest with me. I really do appreciate it. I can look back on things with a little more clarity now, maybe not feel so bitter.”

  Mark nodded. “It ruined us and I’ll always regret it.”

  He was right. The resentment towards one another had prevented them from renewing their relationship. It wasn’t something their marriage could recover from. If he hadn’t found Taryn, their marriage would’ve ended regardless. Chloe could see that clearly now. Taryn wasn’t the cause, she was merely a result.

  “What happened between you and Taryn?” Chloe asked bluntly when curiosity got the best of her.

  Mark’s eyebrows furrowed. “Irreconcilable differences.”

  “What does that mean?” she pushed.

  “It means we were incompatible. By the end of our trip I think I actually hated her. Not exactly the sign of a good relationship.”

  “No, I suppose not.”

  “It didn’t help any that she talks about Jack all the time. Heads up, I think she wants him back.”

  “Too late. She’s lost him.”

  “Are you happy, Chloe?” Mark asked, his voice sending chills down her spine.

  Chloe felt her face flush as a small smile immediately formed. She couldn’t hide her feelings for Jack, they immersed her, consumed her. “Yes. He makes me happy.”

  “I can tell. You’re practically glowing. I’m glad to see you smiling again, Chloe. I really am. You deserve to be happy.”

  “Thank you, Mark.”

  They finished his packing in silence. He approached and hugged her tightly, and Chloe knew this was goodbye. However, it felt good to end things on a peaceful note.

  “Be happy, Chloe. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Mark.”

  “May I take a picture of Christopher from the nursery? I’d like to have one with me.”

  Touched that he wanted a memory of their son, she said, “Yes, of course.”

  It was healing in a way she couldn’t explain.

  “You haven’t told them a thing?” Chloe asked.

  “Nope. Not a hint. I th
ought we’d announce our engagement in person.”

  The last couple weeks had been incredible. They’d ignored the Sunday afternoon family get-togethers, opting for some much needed alone time. They’d spent the weekends lounging by the poolside, eating delicious food, and quietly talking about everything under the sun. Jack wasn’t at all surprised that Mark and Taryn had broken up and he dismissed the topic completely. Their conversations no longer dwelled on the past, but on the future.

  “I liked the idea of keeping it between me and you for awhile, before being bombarded by my inquisitive family.”

  “Now our time is up?”

  “Yeah,” he said with a grin. “I liked having you all to myself. When it comes to you, I don’t like to share.”

  Chloe now felt as though she’d known Jack all of her life. It was hard to remember the time when she didn’t know him, when her life didn’t include him. Jack had expressed the same feelings during his proposal. Yet she’d known him for what? Not quite four months? It seemed impossible. The time had flown by.

  “I’m okay with that, Jack. You can be selfish with me all you want.” Her feelings were tender when it came to Jack, as if she’d turned into a squishy marshmallow on the inside.

  Jack maneuvered into his mother’s driveway, the Fall leaves crunching under his tires. Pumpkins and scarecrows decorated the doorway, hinting at the upcoming Halloween holiday. It was a gorgeous day, not too hot and not too cold. October and November touted some of the best weather Arizona had to offer.

  “Plan on spending Halloween here,” Jack informed as he placed the jeep in park.

  “Okay.”

  “It’s my Mom’s favorite holiday and the house will be decorated to the hilt. I always take the kids out trick or treating. It’s become a tradition. This year you can come with us, help me corral the masses.”

  “That sounds fun.” Time spent with Jack’s family was always a pleasure.

  “Nervous?” Jack raised his eyebrows at her.

  “Very.”

  “Don’t be. You know they love you. Almost as much as me.” Jack leaned over the gearshift and kissed her longingly.

  Chloe held his cheeks, slightly flushed from the wind of the open jeep. “It’s so soon. Won’t they think we’re rushing things?”