by Taylor Dean
We loved you, we looked forward to meeting you.
We’re here, Jerad, and we want you, we love you.
But sometimes things go wrong from the very beginning.
And when the doctors told us the dreaded words, Trisomy 18, we said, what?
Who knew such a thing existed? Who knew you could carry a baby inside of you, a thriving baby, a beautiful baby, only to lose him upon birth? What kind of cruel act of fate was this?
We’re here, Jerad, and we want you, we love you.
Life is tender, life is precious, life is sacred.
And you were alive, little Jerad.
You lived, you fought for life.
Your mother and father refused to give up on you. They loved you, they wanted you.
Desperately.
Even if they only saw you for five minutes. Even two minutes with you would’ve been the fulfillment of a dream.
We waited, we hoped, we prayed.
We’re here, Jerad, and we want you, we love you.
You lived, you flourished, you wiggled, you kicked.
But it wasn’t meant to be.
Your short life was lived inside the safety of your mother’s womb, cosseted and sheltered in her love.
We’re here, Jerad, and we want you, we love you.
Eight months of precious life. Your earth life. All the life you needed.
A spirit so special, so righteous, so valiant—the perils of this life were not for you.
An heir to the kingdom of God, having proven yourself long ago.
This is our comfort, this is our peace.
But, we’re still here, Jerad. Why aren’t you?
A note from Taylor Dean
Whew. Where to start? For obvious reasons, this was an extremely hard book for me to write. After reading the preceding pages, I suppose it is now clear to you why I wrote this book. Upon living it with my daughter and son-in-law, I wanted to share the Trisomy 18 experience with the world. I’d never heard of Trisomy 18 up until the moment my daughter broke the news to me. I’ve since learned that not many people are familiar with it. It was one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life.
And yet…it was also one of the most sacred experiences of my life. I loved our little Jerad more than I thought possible. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. And now that he has a little brother here on earth, I miss his presence even more, as do we all.
Chloe’s Trisomy 18 story is my daughter’s story, written with her permission. It is written from my understanding of this devastating condition. If there are medical mistakes, they are my own. Regardless, it is what we experienced and truth is truth. Many of the emotions are real, taken from my daughter’s experience—and taken from my own experiences as I observed my daughter and son-in-law. The entire experience is engraved on my heart, and I’ve painstakingly transformed it into the written word to increase awareness of this disturbing disorder. It has been highly therapeutic to write this story. It makes our Jerad very real, his existence forever documented on paper.
I knew from the beginning that I wanted to somehow include Trisomy 18 in my writing. But I write romance novels and I wasn’t sure how that would ever come to pass. Still, I knew there was a story in there somewhere. Slowly, I’m With You began to formulate in my mind. My novel is about a young couple that does not survive the Trisomy 18 experience.
I am forever thankful that my daughter and her husband not only endured the experience with surprising strength, but created an amazing and unbreakable bond as husband and wife as a result.
Jaclyn and Michael, love you both.
Many of Chloe’s raging emotions reflect the feelings of mothers who have suffered losing a baby.
As my daughter and son-in-law dealt with—and still deal with—their grief, I learned so much about the complicated emotions of child loss. It is my hope that a tiny portion of what is included in this novel will help someone else as they deal with the overwhelming pain and never-ending sorrow from losing a child. My heart is with you.
Moving forward, never forgetting.
Thanks for reading.
~Taylor
One more thing. As promised on Facebook, special thanks to Robin and Cheryl…for helping me choose my hero’s last name: Alexander.
Catch some of my other books at
www.taylordeanbooks.com
i have people
Missing any memories?
Holly Sinclair is happily married to the love of her life, Gabriel. Young and in love, Holly hopes to have their first child soon. Of course, Gabriel wants to wait till Holly’s health is restored, much to Holly’s dismay. She feels perfectly fine. So what if she just woke up from an eight-month coma? So what if some of her memories are missing? She remembers Gabe and that’s all that matters, right? That is, until HE enters her life again…she forgot about HIM.
for nick
What would you do for love?
Zachary Drake had love in his life—and tragically lost it. He knows it won’t come his way again. Andie Parker would do anything for the love of her life. Even marry a total stranger. In spite of the unorthodox manner in which Zach and Andie come together, there is no denying that things are unexpectedly good between them, taking them both by surprise. However, when secrets come between them—and trust does not—Andie soon finds herself vowing to never make the same mistake again. But, she’d do it again in a heartbeat and she knows it. She’d marry a hundred strangers if it helped Nick. She’d do anything for Nick…anything.
joshua’s folly
Can you fall in love with a picture?
After Marisa survives a traumatic experience in her youth, she finds comfort in the form of a photograph of Joshua, her foster mother’s nephew. She falls in love with him, creating and refining an image of the man of her dreams. When Marisa has the opportunity to visit Texas for the summer, staying at Joshua’s cattle ranch outside of Amarillo, she meets Joshua in person for the first time. She quickly realizes he is someone she could really fall in love with, not just a silly childhood crush. Life is seemingly perfect for Josh and Marisa, with endless possibilities before them. That is, until Josh’s reservations take a toll on their relationship and their summertime romance ends rather unexpectedly. Will Marisa be able to forgive Josh for his folly?
sierra
Named a Top Five Finalist by the Kindle Book Review for Best Indie Book of 2013 in the Romance Category
Have you ever been lost in the woods?
Alyssa Fontaine’s life, loved ones—everything familiar and dear—are brutally taken from her. Taken captive by two men, she endures a horrific nightmare. A new life is forced upon her and even a new name. Just when it appears that no hope is in sight, she is saved by an unlikely twist of fate. Trapped in the beautiful Sierra Nevada Mountains, life will open its arms to her again and she will embrace it. She will find love such as she never knew existed. Sierra is a heart-wrenching story of the power of the human spirit to survive amidst impossible circumstance and severe losses. It is a story of survival…and hope.
lancaster house
A paranormal romance
Are you ever really alone?
Zoe Grayson needs a change. So, she moves to another state, purchases an old, dilapidated 1920s Victorian Mansion, and sets out to restore it to its former glory. As she begins the restoration, she finds herself falling in love with the old house…not to mention its illustrious builder, Mr. Lancaster. Zoe becomes obsessed with the house as she discovers its secrets; hidden rooms, secret passageways…and a mysterious man who seems to think the house is his. Who is he? More importantly, how does he live in her home unseen and unheard? The unexpected answers leave her reeling—and questioning everything she’s ever known. To her dismay, Zoe’s actions land her in the local psychiatric hospital, scheming for ways to return to Lancaster House…and the love of her life.
the middle aisle
a sequel to lancaster house
Zoe Grayson is back in Lancaster House, or
dered to bed rest for the duration of her unexpected pregnancy. Doctor Wade Channing, her overzealous psychiatrist, is living in Lancaster House, taking care of her, waiting on her, and tending to her every need. It seems to be the perfect arrangement. There’s just one catch. She has to tell him her story—everything that has happened in her life since the moment she escaped from Serenity Hills. It’s been quite an adventure to include renovating another home and a walk down the middle aisle. But, that’s all over now. Nothing is real. It never was. How did she end up in this miserable situation?
Taylor Dean lives in Texas and is the mother of four grown children. Upon finding herself with an empty nest, she began to write the stories that were always wandering around in her head, quickly finding she had a passion for writing, specifically romance. Whether it’s paranormal, contemporary, or suspense—you’ll find all sub-genres of clean romance in her line-up. Connect with Taylor at www.taylordeanbooks.com.