Rags to Riches

by Nancy Carson

  Still they remained silent.

  When the house was in sight, Howard at last reacted to the growing realisation that something had upset Maxine.

  ‘What is it, my angel? You’ve gone quiet.’

  ‘Yes, I know…’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I’m not so sure that I shall go to Norfolk, Howard.’ Her tone told him she was hurt.

  ‘Why ever not?’ He drew the car to a halt on the gravel drive, killed the engine and turned to face her.

  ‘Can’t you imagine?’

  ‘Because of what my parishioners might say?’

  ‘To hell with your parishioners.’ She exploded with a haughtiness he’d never believed she possessed. ‘Oh, to hell with you, Howard. I’m going in. Goodnight.’

  ‘Maxine!’ he clung to her arm to prevent her escape. ‘What’s this all about? I thought you were pleased for me. I thought my promotion made you happy.’

  ‘I’m not unhappy about your promotion,’ she said, incredulous that he could be so insensitive. ‘You deserve it. But don’t you see?’

  ‘See what? I don’t understand.’

  ‘Then go home and think about it. It might dawn on you eventually.’ She opened the car door and thrust her legs out.

  ‘Please, Maxine, don’t go. I don’t understand. You must tell me what’s wrong.’

  ‘If you don’t know, then you have no true feelings for me. It’s as simple as that. And if you don’t know, my trying to explain it won’t make it any plainer.’

  ‘You’re upset that you’ve left the band. I understand that. But why make me suffer?’

  ‘If you remember, I gave up the band for you, Howard. I gave up the opportunity of playing on the Queen Mary for you. I gave up the chance of going to New York for you. Why? Because I didn’t want to go away and leave you. My last gig was tonight. Why? Because I wanted to stay near you. Did you hear me properly, Howard? – I said, near you. And just when I need you more than ever, now that all my friends have all but left the country, you blithely announce that you’re going away to live and work in Norfolk – miles away – next week, without so much as a thought for me or what I might feel. Well, thank you! That tells me there’s a difference in how we feel about each other, and how irrelevant I must be where your career is concerned?’

  ‘Of course I want to be near you, Maxine. Of course you’re not irrelevant. But it’s different for me. It’s my career.’

  ‘Ah…So your career warrants a different set of rules? Your career takes precedence over mine? Your career excuses you to ride roughshod over me?’

  ‘Of course it doesn’t, Maxine…Look, I love you with all my heart, you know I do. But I have to go where my living takes me.’

  ‘Whereas, I’m prepared not to go where mine takes me – for your sake – you’re not prepared to offer me the same consideration. Howard, that speaks volumes.’

  ‘Maxine, it’s not like that. Believe me, it’s not like that. You said, if you had to choose, you’d give up your career.’

  ‘So I did, but you also said I didn’t need to. Remember?’

  ‘I mean us to be married, Maxine. I want you to be my wife. This is supposed to be a step towards it. If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t even consider marriage. I wouldn’t even have accepted this new living. I accepted it so that we could eventually be married.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I see it differently. I am upset about saying goodbye to my friends in the band, but this really is like spitting in my face. I’m so hurt, Howard. I hope someday you’ll come to understand…’

  ‘But Maxine —’

  She wished she could cry now. It might make him realise. But she could not.

  ‘There have only ever been two things in my life really important to me, Howard – my music and you…Well, thank God I still have my music…Goodbye.’

  ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Maxine. We’ll talk about it when you’ve had time to think about it more.’

  ‘Don’t bother,’ she retorted acidly as she got out of the car.

  She opened the front door and went in the house, without looking back.

  Chapter 19

  Maxine finished in the bathroom, dressed and went downstairs. To look at her emerging from her bedroom you would think everything was normal and under control. She looked smart, as always; well turned out; her make-up was immaculate and so was her hair. But there was no change of heart, only a resolute determination to defy Howard and everything his decision meant. Only Henzey, hanging Aldo’s napkins to dry over a clothes horse, perceived through the polished finish that she was far too preoccupied.

  ‘Is anything the matter?’ Henzey asked, with sisterly concern.

  ‘Has Will gone to work yet?’

  ‘He’s just about to go. Is anything wrong?’

  ‘I want a lift to Handsworth, Henzey.’

  ‘Handsworth?’

  ‘I’m going on the Queen Mary after all. By hook or by crook. I have to know what I should do – what I need. I have to see Brent Shackleton.’

  ‘You’ll need a passport anyway, I would’ve thought. But surely there’s no time to get one now if it sails tomorrow? Why? What’s brought on this change of heart?’

  Maxine explained briefly and Henzey was suitably outraged. Just then, Will stepped back in the house.

  ‘Damned pruning shears! I’ve just been to the shed to look for them. They’re rusty as hell. I reckon I’ll have to buy some new ones…Is there something wrong?’

  ‘Will, can you give Maxine a lift to Handsworth?’

  ‘Yes, I should think so.’

  ‘She wants to catch up with Brent. She’s decided to go on the Queen Mary after all and I don’t blame her.’

  ‘Oh? What’s brought that on?’

  ‘Oh, I’ll tell you in the car, Will.’

  ‘Are you ready now?’

  Maxine nodded solemnly. ‘I’ll just get my coat.’

  ‘But you’ve had no breakfast, Maxine.’

  ‘Don’t worry, Henzey. I’ll get some at Brent’s. Expect me when you see me.’

  They left. On the drive over to Brent’s house Maxine explained in detail how last night’s events had unfolded. Will listened attentively, punctuating her flow with kind words of consolation and advice.

  ‘How could he have been so thoughtless, Will?’ she said ruefully. ‘How could he expect me to be pleased that he was going away after I had particularly avoided going away myself? Would he have appreciated me more if I’d decided to go on the Queen Mary and leave him?’

  ‘I understand how you feel, Maxine, but are you sure you’re doing the right thing? Are you sure you’re not being rather impetuous, dashing off without giving Howard the opportunity to redeem himself? Especially since marriage is at stake?’

  ‘This is not an impulse, Will,’ she assured him. ‘It’s well considered. I’ve been awake most of the night considering it.’

  At last they arrived at Brent’s house after some hesitant directions from Maxine.

  ‘This is it, Will,’ she said. ‘Thanks for the lift. I’ll see you when I see you.’

  He waited at the kerbside till he saw Brent open the door and let her in. Then he waved and shook his head sympathetically.

  ‘Maxine!’ Brent exclaimed with a delighted grin. ‘You’re the last person on earth I expected to see. How come you’re here?’

  She stepped inside. ‘I want to come with you on the Queen Mary,’ she said simply.

  He could not hide the triumph in his eyes as he shut the door behind her. ‘I knew you would. I just knew it. That’s brilliant!’

  ‘Have you got a piece of toast or something and a cup of tea? I’ve had nothing to eat yet. I’m starving.’

  ‘You’re in luck, Maxine. I’m just about to create the most wonderful breakfast imaginable.’

  She followed him into the kitchen. Again, it was almost as bad as the first time she had seen it. ‘Look at the state of this place again. After all the hard work I put into it.’

  ‘Ke
nny can do it later. Anyway, what’s brought this on – this change of mind?’

  She explained again and Brent swelled with self-satisfaction.

  ‘I could see it coming, Maxine. I told you what would happen. I always knew Zadoc the Priest would let you down.’

  She shrugged. ‘Such foresight should qualify you as Nathan the Prophet then.’

  ‘Oh, very funny. Well, I could tell what a ne’er-do-well he was, Maxine. You’re best off without him. Stick by your friends, ’cause they’ll stick by you.’

  ‘I’m just so angry, Brent,’ she told him. ‘You can’t imagine how angry I am.’

  ‘A woman scorned, eh? Listen, we have to get you a passport – and quick.’

  ‘I know, but how?’

  ‘You’ll have to go to London. To the Passport Office. It’s the only way.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘Soon as you can…Today…It’ll have to be today. I’d better come with you. Got any money?’

  ‘Yes, I’ve got some money.’

  ‘Enough for our rail fares and a photo?’

  She shrugged. ‘I imagine so.’

  ‘Right. We’ll have some breakfast quick and dash off to Snow Hill Station.’

  That night, Howard called at Willowcroft. He had spent last night wide awake, trying to come to terms with this massive and sudden disruption to a life that had been so ordered, yet so varied and satisfying, but which, all of a sudden, had taken an unexpected turn. Maxine threatened to be no longer a part of it and he did not like it, for he truly adored her and treasured in his heart everything they’d enjoyed together.

  ‘She’s not here, Howard,’ Will said, ‘but please come in if you want to wait.’

  ‘If you don’t mind, Will.’

  ‘We’re in the sitting room. Go on through.’

  Henzey greeted him warmly, not wishing to show any prejudgement. After all, she liked this man. ‘Hello, Howard. So what on earth have you two been up to?’ Her tone was one of friendly admonishment.

  ‘Oh, Henzey, it seems I’ve made an awful botch of things.’

  ‘So I hear.’

  ‘Nobody, I swear, could have been more insensitive than I have been. I’ve come to salvage what I can. When are you expecting her back?’

  She put down the newspaper she’d been reading. ‘Howard, I haven’t the vaguest idea. She went to Brent Shackleton’s house first thing. She’s intent on joining the Queen Mary trip after all.’

  ‘Oh, no…’ Howard sighed dejectedly. ‘But I can’t say I blame her…after I’ve been so thoughtless. How can I have been so blind, Henzey? How can I have been so stupid?’

  ‘Anyone fancy a drink?’ Will asked. ‘I’ll put the kettle on if anyone fancies a drink…Or have something stronger if you like…’

  ‘Coffee would be very nice, Will,’ Howard answered. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Me too,’ Henzey said. ‘Are you prepared for a long wait, Howard? God knows what time she’ll get back.’

  ‘I’ll wait for ever if I have to, Henzey.’

  It was after midnight when Brent Shackleton returned Maxine Kite to Willowcroft.

  ‘Oh, God, Howard’s here,’ she said when she saw his car parked behind Will’s on the drive. ‘Wish me luck, Brent.’

  ‘I wish you luck, Maxine. Just don’t let him talk you out of going now.’

  ‘He won’t. I’ve made up my mind. I’m going on the Queen Mary tomorrow and that’s that. See you in the morning. Ten o’ clock. Snow Hill Station.’

  She bid him goodnight, closed the door of the Mercedes behind her and he sped off. She let herself in the house and saw that Will and Henzey had nobly kept Howard company, but that they looked tired and were probably anxious to get to bed. She bid them goodnight and said she would see them both at breakfast.

  ‘I’m surprised to see you here,’ Maxine said coolly to Howard when they were alone.

  ‘I came to make amends.’

  ‘It’s a bit late for that,’ she said, feeling vindictive for the first time in her life. She took off her coat, tossed it across the back of the settee and sat facing him, her back erect, defiant, her legs crossed. But she was not savouring this situation where she had the upper hand, a situation she had neither sought nor expected. ‘I’m leaving tomorrow to join the Queen Mary. I have to pack yet.’

  ‘Henzey said you’d decided to go…I really can’t blame you, Maxine. I’m so sorry, believe me. What I did so thoughtlessly. I didn’t pay enough heed to what you’d been prepared to give up for me. Do you think you can find it in your heart to forgive me?’

  ‘I think it’s a bit soon to be thinking about forgiveness,’ she said evenly. ‘I’m just so angry you went ahead and did what you did without even thinking of talking it over with me, even when your promotion was just a possibility. We could have made plans. You can’t imagine how much you’ve hurt me.’

  ‘I can see now how much…’

  She sighed disconsolately. ‘But that’s only what you can see, Howard. What did you think you would gain by not telling me what you intended doing? What did you think I would do? We could so easily have sorted it out without it coming to this – if you’d only discussed it with me.’

  He threw his hands out in a gesture of despair. ‘I know, Maxine. I know.’

  ‘It just seems that while I was prepared to give you so much, you took it with no comprehension—’

  ‘Believe me, Maxine, it’s not like that. I did it so we could be married – as a first step. Marriage was my first thought.’

  ‘But that’s not the point, Howard. I would have done anything for you. I would have walked through fire for you. I would have died for you. And how do you repay me? By acting as if I were an irrelevance. How do you think that makes me feel? And now you ask for forgiveness?…No matter how much you apologise, no matter what you say, I can’t forgive you.’

  ‘Oh, Maxine…’ He moved to hold her but she shrugged him off and he was visibly affected by her rebuff. ‘Am I repulsive, too, all of a sudden?’

  ‘It’s not a question of being repulsive, but why should I reward you? What you’ve done to me is like smacking me in the face for being considerate. Do you expect me to turn the other cheek, like the Bible says I should? Well, I won’t.’

  ‘I can only hope that in time you’ll forgive me.’

  ‘I doubt I shall.’

  The disdain in her voice surprised him. Never had he believed she could be so detached.

  ‘We have eight weeks ahead of us, Maxine. Eight weeks when we shall be apart. Let’s see what happens after that, eh? Let’s see if we can patch things up when you return.’

  She shrugged nonchalantly.

  ‘I suppose you’ll forget all about me,’ he said, changing tack. ‘There’ll be so much going on you won’t have time to think about me.’

  ‘Quite possibly,’ she said with some satisfaction. ‘If so, it’s of your own making.’

  ‘At least you’ll have Brent to keep you company.’

  ‘Well now, there’s a thought,’ she replied cuttingly.

  ‘Are you sure all this upset isn’t because of him?’

  Maxine gasped with indignation. ‘Have I ever given you reason to think so?’ All right, she had allowed him to kiss her, but it had meant nothing.

  ‘You seemed very friendly last night…and I suppose you’ve been with him all day today.’

  ‘Yes, I have, Howard.’ She sounded defiant now. ‘I’ve been to London with him, as a matter of fact. He was thoughtful enough to go with me, to make sure I could get a passport.’ She thought it best not to say she’d paid for his ticket. ‘We had a meal together in London.’ Neither would she tell him she’d paid for that as well. ‘We’ve only just got back. He very thoughtfully dropped me at the door. Does that mean I’m in love with him, do you think?’

  ‘Sarcasm doesn’t become you, Maxine. Anyway, I’ve no wish to argue, especially about Brent Shackleton. I know he’s your friend and colleague. I respect that. I meant no slur on either
of you. I’m sorry.’ Howard was getting nowhere with that line of reasoning, only making matters worse. ‘I’ll write to you – care of the Queen Mary at Southampton. Will you write back?…Please?’

  ‘I’ll see how I feel.’

  She did not sound convincing enough. ‘Please, Maxine. You must. We’ve meant too much to each other to let it be ruined over one thoughtless mistake. I’m distraught at what’s happened – at my own crass stupidity.’

  ‘Well, I suppose that’s a step in the right direction.’

  ‘The next eight weeks will be a critical time for us, Maxine. I’m really not looking forward to it.’

  ‘I need that time now to think, Howard,’ she responded, trying to be rational. ‘The damage has been done. I doubt if just eight weeks will put it right.’

  ‘Where there’s a will…’

  ‘Oh, Howard…I don’t know whether I can risk being hurt again.’

  ‘I understand how you feel, my love. I really do. But your anger will subside.’

  Maybe it would. With time to contemplate she might come to understand better, learn to accept his foibles, her own foibles. Maybe, when this merciless anger had subsided, her love for him might rise to the surface again and triumph over this intolerable hurt.

  ‘So shall I write to you, Maxine?’

  ‘Okay. Write if you want,’ she conceded with a heavy sigh. ‘Then, let’s see what happens after eight weeks.’

  ‘I know how I’ll feel, Maxine.’

  ‘But expect no miracles from me, Howard…I think you’d better go now. It’s late and I have to pack and be up early in the morning.’ She got up from the settee and moved to the front door.

  He followed her and, as she held the door open, he stepped outside into the cold night air. Bonfire night was only two evenings away and several early firecrackers punctuated the strained silence.

  ‘I won’t say goodbye, Maxine. Just God bless you till I see you again.’

  The Owls and the Pussycats boarded the Queen Mary on Tuesday afternoon, having travelled by rail from Birmingham to Paddington, then crossing to Waterloo Station by taxi for the ‘Queen Mary Special’ to Southampton. The journey had been good-humoured, all speculating on some aspect of their cruising. Pansy wondered if they would have to sleep in a cabin no bigger than the privy at the top of their yard and Maxine wondered how they would fare for laundering their smalls. Kenny, subdued, wondered if there would be a doctor on board, and nobody could quite understand why.