by Jon Keys
But with Shane, everything shifted in ways Dustin had never felt before. He’d broken his own rule in hooking up with Shane, because he was definitely part of the rodeo crowd. Dustin still wasn’t sure why he’d told Shane anything. It wasn’t like he’d known all that much about him, only friend-of-a-friend-type information. Was Shane thinking about him at all? He flopped on the bed, struggling to figure out what was happening to him. The shower stopped, and steam billowed from the bathroom when Todd opened the door
“Damn, feels good to get the dust washed off me. Do I have scratches down my back?” Todd turned his bare back toward Dustin. “She was a wildcat in bed. She clawed me up pretty good while I was pounding her hot pussy.”
Dustin glanced at his friend’s torso and waved him off with one hand. “Nothin’ bad. You’ve been worse off.”
“Yeah, she was kinda rough.” Todd flipped his towel off and started furiously drying his hair. Dustin rubbed at his eyes and yawned. Todd was proof he wasn’t attracted to anyone with a dick, because he’d never been attracted to Todd. He couldn’t say the same about Shane.
Dustin walked to the bathroom, turned on the water and quickly stripped. After stepping under the hot spray, he started soaping up, most of his thoughts still on Shane. I have to do something, that’s all there is to it. I can’t keep acting like a lovesick high schooler.
Shane had known Dustin would be one of the riders at Cheyenne. But now that it was Dustin’s ride, Shane’s heart was in his throat, and his gut was twisted tighter than a handmade lariat. He ran along the fence, staying in position so he could rush in to help if needed. The bull jumped, then slammed against the ground with such force that Shane cringed. The bloodred animal launched itself again, its back arching into a crescent before uncurling to blast into the arena. Swinging sideways, it began to spin, making it more difficult for Dustin to keep his precarious seat.
Constantly in motion, Shane worked to put himself at the best possible spot to help if it was needed. The stakes for protecting a cowboy had never been this high. This time it was Dustin. Shane could tell this wouldn’t be a high-point ride. Dustin was too close to losing control with each jump. The little bull threaded its way across the arena, leaping from spot to spot, switching between spins and straight bucking.
Shane’s breath caught when the bull jumped and kicked out again, managing to get all four feet off the ground. Shane ran into position, working out where he should be. He’d been doing this for years. He could read the bulls as well as anyone, and this ride wasn’t going well. In the past, it hadn’t been personal. It was his job. That had all changed now that it was Dustin.
The red bull was fast and fought hard. His jumps and spins cracked Dustin around like a cheap whip. Shane shifted again, anxious for the buzzer to signal the ride’s end. When someone you cared about was on the back of an enraged bull—eight seconds could be an eternity.
Dustin’s luck changed for the worse as the end of his ride sounded. The frantic yanks at his hand told Shane all he needed to know—Dustin was in trouble. The heavy bell’s metallic tolling wouldn’t be for Dustin, Shane would make certain of that.
Shane launched himself at the bull and grabbed Dustin’s arm. The bull chose that instant to roll again and this time didn’t regain his feet. The world spun, Shane lost his grip. Without a doubt, this ride was destined to end in disaster. The bull landed almost on its back and directly on Dustin. Shane heard a sickening thud. His stomach knotted, and adrenaline-fueled panic flooded him.
The bull scrambled upright and shot across the arena while Shane helped Dustin to his feet. At Shane’s light touch, Dustin hissed through clenched teeth. Shane walled away his deep feelings for Dustin to focus on his job. He switched to Dustin’s uninjured side and tugged him through the open gate.
Shane turned to Dustin. “You need to get looked at.” Dustin lurched to a pipe fence and grabbed it with his good hand. His jaw clenched as he tried to knock off some of the arena dirt that covered him from shoulder to knee. Shane’s gut twisted with each flash of agony that flicked across Dustin’s face.
“Fuck it. It’ll be fine. I’ll tape everything tight.” Dustin winced when someone brushed against his arm.
“Hey, you gotta get it checked. Have Todd take you,” Shane said.
Dustin laughed, then his teeth snapped together in a grimace. “Todd ain’t gonna take me. He’d tell me not to be such a pussy, throw the tape at me, and tell me to cowboy up.”
Shane glanced at the arena, relieved he had a few more minutes while they got the red bull out. “Okay. I have two more riders, then this round is finished. Stay here, and I’ll take you to the ER once I’m done.”
“Man, really. No biggie.”
Shane reached out and tapped Dustin’s hand, which was met with a sharp gasp. Dustin looked at Shane with defeat in his eyes. “Fine, but they’ll just tape it too.”
The other bullfighter called to him, and Shane turned to go. “I’ll be back. Hold tight for a few minutes.” He waited for a nod of acknowledgment, then ran back into the arena.
Dustin lay on the examination table, pain radiating from his left side, and focused on shallow breaths so no part of his body moved. Shane stood beside the bed, his fingers fiddling with the sheet under Dustin. “You need anything? Do you want something to drink?” Cranking up his bravado, Dustin caught Shane’s gaze. “No, I don’t need nothing. This is stupid. It’s just cracked ribs, nothing they can do about it. Tape it and let me go. I can’t afford to have any time off the circuit.”
“You didn’t look too good by the time we got here. I’m sure the painkiller has made you nice and happy, but the bull got you pretty good. You need to wait until the doc passes judgment.”
“Whatever, this is still stupid.” The door swung in, and the swirl of a white lab coat filled the room. The doctor caught Dustin’s gaze and stared at him over the top of a pair of glasses. “Mr. Lewis, you were lucky. There are no broken bones on the X-rays. We think you have a bruised liver, so we want to keep you overnight for observation, to make sure there are no complications. You should be good to go in a few weeks, no more than a month.”
“A month! Doc, there’s no way. I got a rodeo next weekend.”
The grizzled doctor lifted an eyebrow and pursed his lips. “This could become a serious injury if you aren’t careful. You don’t want to push it.”
Dustin tried to sit up but fell back when a tidal wave of agony shot through his abdomen. Shane’s hand lay across his chest and held him in place. In spite of his pain, Dustin was comforted by Shane’s presence.
“Doc, if I’m there to watch him, could he go ahead and leave. I have EMT training.”
“It wouldn’t be the best option, but I can’t stop you. We’ll get you the paperwork saying you’re leaving against my recommendation.” The doctor focused on Shane. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
Dustin gritted his teeth. I’ll just have to suck it up and take care of myself. He tried to sit up again, only this time Shane caught him and gave him the support he needed. Their eyes met, and then Shane nodded to the doctor.
“Yes, I’ll take care of him.”
Shane walked beside Dustin as he was wheeled to the pickup Shane had parked just outside the exit. He looked down at Dustin and felt a measure of relief. He was out of it. They’d given him enough pain medication that all he could do was slump against the chair with a stupefied expression.
Shane opened the door and moved him from the chair onto the seat. Once Dustin had settled in, Shane carefully buckled him in and closed the door. Shane was concerned about taking care of Dustin. The new trailer he’d gotten on his last trip home would make for cozy sleeping arrangements, but Shane knew they’d adjust. This all depended on Dustin allowing Shane’s help. Dustin needed to keep still while they traveled to give his body time to heal. From what Shane had seen, “still” wasn’t a quality you would as
sociate with Dustin. If he wanted to make Finals, he had to let himself heal.
Shane drove to the campground with Dustin reclined as much as his seat would let him. Dustin’s pain could resurge any time. Dustin already had his jaw clenched.
“Hang in there. I parked my trailer at a state park just outside of town,” Shane said.
Dustin only nodded, his breath coming in a hiss when they hit the gravel road that was the last half mile of the trip.
Shane rolled to a stop in front of the tiny trailer. Dustin grabbed the oh-shit handle above the pickup door and pulled himself up enough to get the first view of what would be his home for the next several weeks.
“What the fuck? That’s not a trailer.”
“Yes, it is. There’s a queen-size bed, and it has a little kitchen in the backend. I got it when I was home. My folks’ neighbor had bought it and never used it, so my dad made a deal with him. It’ll be fine until you’re better.”
Dustin stared at the tiny trailer. “How the hell are we gonna fit in there? I doubt I could get a saddle in that little thing. We’ll be shoved in there tighter than a virgin.”
He glanced at Shane and realized the thought of being in close quarters with him actually sounded pretty good. His touch makes me want more. It’s not just me being horny either. Shane made Dustin feel something he hadn’t experienced since junior high: safe. That was when he’d realized he was what his grandfather called “a perversion of nature doomed to eternal hellfire”, or words to that effect. It might have started with the same fooling around he’d done with the other guys, but it had become much more. Now he thought about Shane all the time. Dustin had come to crave this new feeling of strength he could never remember having before. But he knew there was no way Shane felt the same about him.
Dustin stared at the trailer, unwilling to meet Shane’s eyes. “Todd’ll take care of me. You don’t need to. You barely know me.”
Shane ran his fingers through his hair. “There aren’t too many bull riders, and we know all you guys. Todd’s not a bad sort, but I wouldn’t want him taking care of me while I was busted up.”
“Todd’s okay. But he doesn’t…” Dustin cast his gaze downward before locking eyes with Shane.
When he didn’t continue, Shane finished for him. “Todd doesn’t know you’re gay, does he? You’re afraid he’s going to freak out when he finds out he’s been sleeping in the same room as a gay guy for years.”
Dustin rose from the seat, and a low groan of pain escaped his lips. In spite of the pain, he remained defiant. “You don’t know him. Todd was the only friend who would take me in. I’d lived in my pickup for a couple of weeks before I asked him if I could crash at his house until I got my shit together. He just said I was a dumb-ass for not asking sooner, and there was never any more questions. Not from him, not from his family. I owe them. I don’t want to ruin his reputation.”
Shane nodded, and his mouth drew to a small hard line. “Come on, we can talk about how bad our lives suck some other time. We need to get you into bed so you won’t keep irritating your injuries.” Shane jumped out of the truck to help Dustin. They made the short trip and stood outside the small trailer door. Shane fumbled for his keys while Dustin struggled to stay upright. Once it was unlocked, the door swung open enough for Dustin to lower himself and peer inside.
“Well, shit, it’s a bed on wheels. I guess that’ll work.”
“Come on. You need to lie down. Let’s get your shirt off first. It’ll be a lot easier to do out here.”
Dustin’s breath caught, and his heart raced at Shane’s touch. The glancing contact as the first button opened along with the wisp of cool air that curled over his hot skin added to Dustin’s already over-amped body. But with each movement, agony ricocheted through him and dampened his randy thoughts. In spite of the pain, opening the second button caused Dustin’s nipples to harden and ache. By the time Shane opened the last button, Dustin’s eyes were squeezed tight and his breathing was labored.
“You okay?” Shane asked.
“Yeah, it’s just…been a while. That felt good, your hands.”
Shane nodded but didn’t comment. “Come on. Let’s get you in bed. I’ll make us some supper. The sun’ll set soon, and I don’t want to cook in the dark.”
“Okay, let’s get me inside this thing, then.”
Dustin crawled through the small opening. Pain shot through his abdomen with each movement. With help, he eventually crawled onto the bed. A few minutes passed as Dustin lay back with Shane helping to support him. Dustin moved in tiny increments until he could rest against the bed, and his misery spiraled down.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, that little son of a bitch did a number on me, though. It hurts like hell to take a deep breath.”
“Well, try to relax.” Shane looked at Dustin’s prescription. “You can’t take any more painkillers for an hour. I’ll fix some dinner.”
Dustin closed his eyes, and his tension began to lessen. “Okay, that sounds like a plan.”
Shane waited for a few minutes, then crawled out and left Dustin to rest. Now that Shane’s touch was gone, a part of Dustin resented Shane mothering him. His family had taught him the lesson of how disposable people were. Shane had no reason to babysit him. Dustin struggled to figure out why he was. Why do I want to curl against his chest and let him take care of me? A plastic ice chest popped open just outside the trailer, and Shane appeared at the tiny door with a dripping can of pop in his hand.
“Here. I thought you might be thirsty. I’m making us some bacon and eggs with toast for supper.”
Dustin accepted the can and looked at it for a minute. “Got a beer or something stronger?”
Shane gave Dustin a lopsided smile. “Sorry, bud. No booze with an injured liver. The tests came back okay, but you still don’t want to take any chances. Not if you’re serious about the Finals.”
“Fine, I’ll drink the pop. Bacon and eggs sound good.” Dustin turned the cold can in his hand. He still was undecided if he wanted someone to give him the gentle protection he associated with the fading memories of his mother, or if he resented the implication he couldn’t take care of himself. A few metallic bangs came from the back of the trailer, and a short time later, the smell of frying bacon curled into his nostrils. By the time Shane appeared at the door with a plate loaded with food, Dustin’s stomach sounded like a lion lived inside.
“Here. It’s not much. But the eggs are fresh. Mom loaded me up when I was home.”
Dustin twisted around in the trailer until he sat with his hip against one wall. He cut his fork into the egg, and deep yellow yolk ran out. He looked up at Shane as he crawled in beside him. “What’s wrong with the eggs?”
Shane looked over at the puddle of yolk on Dustin’s plate. “Sorry, I cooked them the way I eat ’em. I can cook them some more if you’d like.”
“No, I like my eggs runny. These are a weird color, though. Why are they almost orange?” Dustin ran his fork through his plate, uncertainty showing on his face.
“My folks have chickens running around outside. The yolks are always dark, not like those pale store-bought things. Try ’em. They taste pretty good.”
His expression morphed into the face of a mistrusting twelve-year-old, but Dustin forked the smallest imaginable bite and slipped it into his mouth. Thoughtful while he chewed, his expression filled with wonder at the incredible flavor. “These are good. I was afraid it was one of those things everyone told me was great but really tastes like shit.”
Dustin tore off a piece of his bread, ran it through the warm liquid yolk and then popped it into his mouth. He studied his plate as he chewed. “Yeah, these’re damn good. I need to add chickens to my master plan.”
“Master plan?”
Embarrassment flashed through Dustin. “Oh, just a fuckin’ stupid game I play with myself. Todd says it’s p
ussy shit.”
Shane ate a forkful of eggs and bacon and studied Dustin while he chewed. “Tell me about it. It sounds cool.”
Dustin shot Shane a glance. Fear filled him at the idea of sharing his dream with the guy he was falling for. After a long silence, Dustin decided it was time to start taking risks, at least where Shane was concerned. “It’s like a wish book, for when I win the National Finals. What I’m going to do with the prize money.”
Shane dragged his last piece of bread across the plate, cleaning the last bit of egg yolk. “Like what?”
“Like a big ranch. A herd of cows.” Dustin met Shane’s eyes and shrugged. “I guess chickens now too. Maybe a horse, though I never learned to ride.”
“I thought it was against the rules for someone involved with rodeoin’ not to ride a horse.”
Dustin nudged Shane with his elbow. “Yeah, well, they don’t like gay guys in it either, but look at us.”
A slight frown formed on Shane’s face. “That’s different. I’ve heard of guys being jumped because some idiots thought they might be gay. I haven’t told too many people about me. Mostly family, and they’re too embarrassed to tell anyone.” Shane paused for a minute as he remembered his recent trip home. “Or at least that’s the way it used to be.”
Dustin sat his plate on the mattress and nodded slowly. “At least they didn’t try to beat you to death, or throw you out.”
“No, they’re getting used to it. It just took them a while. My mom’s still not happy about it. People in West Texas don’t take change well.”