Being Elizabeth

by Barbara Taylor Bradford

  But Robin Dunley and Marie Stewart are as different as chalk and cheese. She is wilful, and careless in her dealings with others: my darling Robin is thoughtful, considerate and caring, and he never makes rash decisions. Not any more.

  It’s funny, thinking about it, but he doesn’t do a lot these days. Not so much riding, or exercise, and his hours practising dressage in the indoor ring have lessened. Why? Is he tired? Or not well? Neither. I know that. He may not be twenty any more and at the height of his physical power and strength, but he is only thirty-five, or he will be in a few months. He’s slowed down … he’s not so interested in certain things … I sense a … disappointment in him.

  I wonder if it’s something to do with Deravenels? Perhaps I should tell him to start a new division, head it up, like his brother heads up our Resorts Division. But Robin has so much power, masses of it. He runs the company with me and Cecil. No, it can’t be that, it can’t be work. But something is wrong … he’s been out of sorts for a long time … almost a whole year … My gut instinct tells me that …

  The ringing phone brought her upright in the chair, and she automatically reached for it. ‘Hello?’

  ‘It’s me,’ Robert said.

  ‘Where are you?’ Elizabeth asked, relieved to hear his voice.

  ‘I had some things to do, and decided today was the best time to run around doing them.’

  ‘What things?’

  ‘My tailor. Needed a haircut, the usual …’

  ‘What time are you coming in?’

  ‘I’m not sure, darling. Maybe I won’t. You know how long my tailor takes, and I’ve two suits to fit. Also, it’s a short day in a sense. I’ll have to get back to the flat by four-thirty to change. And you will, too, Elizabeth.’

  ‘Yes, I know.’

  ‘All right then. I’ll see you later at the flat, darling.’ he said and hung up.

  She stared at the receiver in her hand, frowning at it, puzzled.

  Elizabeth stood in front of the mirror in her dressing room, studying herself for a moment. She was wearing a deep purple silk Valentino gown, cut straight in the skirt that fell to the floor in soft folds. It had a plain, round neckline and long sleeves, and with it she wore purple high-heeled silk shoes.

  Satisfied with the gown, she put on Edward Deravenel’s magnificent gold chain and medallion, added gold-and-diamond hoop earrings and a gold bracelet. Then she picked up a purple silk evening bag and went into the living room, seeking Robert’s approval as usual.

  Robert was standing near the fireplace, drinking a glass of water, and he put it down, came towards her as she appeared in the doorway.

  ‘You look absolutely beautiful, Elizabeth! Ravishing.’

  ‘So do you,’ she replied. ‘A new dinner jacket, I see. It fits you perfectly. You’re just impeccable, too gorgeous.’

  ‘I picked it up this afternoon,’ he murmured and reached into his pocket. ‘I also picked up something for you.’

  ‘You did?’

  ‘I did indeed.’ He kissed her on the cheek, opened the small leather box in his hand and took out a ring. ‘Here, this is for you,’ he said and, smiling, he reached for her left hand, slipped the ring on her third finger. ‘There! How do you like that?’

  Elizabeth gasped when she saw the large solitaire diamond, forty carats at least, glittering on her finger. ‘Robin! Darling! It’s just magnificent. Thank you, oh thank you so much. I never expected anything like this.’ She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.

  He grinned at her wickedly. ‘And now we’re engaged. Finally.’

  Elizabeth, caught unawares, pushed down her astonishment and exclaimed, ‘I see we are. How about that!’

  Everyone stared at them as they walked through the lobby of the Savoy Hotel. The beautiful redhead, so striking in purple, and the incredibly handsome man in the impeccably tailored Savile Row dinner jacket, tall and dark and exuding panache.

  They had the same effect on everyone else as they entered the reception room where cocktails were being served. Heads turned as they strolled through the room saying hello to friends and greeting associates. Colleagues from Deravenels were out in full force; Cecil had bought six tables seating ten people each. Elizabeth moved through the crowd, talking to many of them … Francis, Cecil, Nicholas and Ambrose, who were happy, and congratulated her warmly. She spotted Spencer Thomas, and went to have a word with him, and tried not to miss anyone out.

  Champagne flowed and canapés were served, and the cocktail hour flew by. It seemed to Elizabeth that they had only just arrived when they were being called into the ballroom for the award ceremony and dinner.

  Harvey Edwards, President of the International Association of Business Executives, stood on the stage at one end of the ballroom. ‘And so,’ he said, ‘we come to the presentation of our Award for Business Excellence. This year we are honouring a very special woman, a unique woman in the world of business … a woman whom we all recognize for her enormous ability, her brilliance, her vision and her leadership. One of the few women to shatter the glass ceiling. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great honour to present to you Miss Elizabeth Deravenel Turner, managing director of the oldest conglomerate in the world … Deravenels.’

  The applause was thunderous.

  Elizabeth’s heart thudded as she walked up to the stage, and she shivered as she mounted the steps. She had written her speech that morning and decided not to bring it at the last minute, knowing it would be much more personal and meaningful if she spoke extemporaneously.

  Harvey Edwards greeted her warmly, kissed her cheek, and presented her with the award. This was an elegant crystal obelisk, engraved with her name and inscription.

  Elizabeth thanked him, placed the obelisk on the podium and brought the microphone closer. Once she had thanked the association for honouring her and everyone for coming, she began her speech.

  At first she talked about her father, the late Harry Turner, who had been one of the world’s great magnates; she touched on her grandfather, Henry Turner, who had held the company steady in bad times, and said loving words about her great-grandfather, Edward Deravenel, the man who had done so much to make Deravenels one of the greatest companies in the early part of the twentieth century. And then she moved on, spoke with fervour about the importance of women in business, and all of the contributions they had made and were making in the world of business in the new millennium.

  She was eloquent, articulate, and funny, frequently making the audience roar with laughter, which pleased her. And then all of a sudden she had said all she wanted and needed to say … except for thanking certain colleagues at Deravenels, mentioned some of them by name.

  And finally, pausing for a moment, she began in a very clear and vibrant voice, ‘And now I must thank Robert Dunley, my partner in life as well as in business.’ Seeking him out, her eyes focused on him steadily. ‘Robin, without you by my side I would not have achieved anything. You are the one who showed me the way … Showed me how to be Elizabeth Deravenel Turner. And I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.’

  She knew there was something wrong the moment they got home. He walked into the living room and stood by the fireplace, his face rigid, and she realized he was full of tension, taut, pent-up. And perhaps angry? But why?

  ‘What’s wrong, Robin?’ she asked swiftly, following him into the room.

  He did not answer at first. He simply stared at her, frowning. At last he said, ‘Why did you call me your partner? Why not your fiancé, since that is what I am as of tonight?’

  ‘I didn’t think … I’d written those words this morning … they’d stayed in my mind. I’m sorry, really I am.’

  ‘And there’s something else, Elizabeth, something I don’t understand. You changed the ring. What I mean is that you took it off your left hand and put it on your right hand. Does that mean we are no longer engaged? Brief, wasn’t it, my magic moment?’

  ‘Robin, please, listen to me! I was nervous about the
evening, and giving the speech. I put the ring on my right hand because I didn’t want to explain anything to anyone. Not tonight when I was facing that huge audience. I just wanted to get through the evening.’

  ‘I suppose that’s why you called me your partner, so you didn’t have to … explain me away!’

  He sounded angry, but also hurt.

  She took a step forward, wanting to hold him, touch him, make him feel better. She was also slightly perplexed. She had never seen him behave like this.

  ‘Don’t come any closer,’ he warned in a tight voice, glaring.

  ‘Robin, I’m so very sorry if I’ve hurt you, demeaned you in any way. You must believe me. I love you. I would never do anything –’

  ‘Oh, to hell with it! And to hell with you!’ he cried, his voice rising. ‘I don’t know why I put up with this, I really don’t.’ His voice broke, and she saw sudden tears glistening on his dark lashes. ‘I’m leaving. For good.’

  Before she could say a word, he had rushed across the room and gone out through the front door.

  Elizabeth stood staring at the door, shaking her head, for a moment not understanding. He had said he was leaving. For good. Oh, my God, he had left her!

  Within seconds she was out of the flat and in the lift, going down to the street level. Wrenching open the front door into the street, she half-ran, half-stumbled down the outside steps. She could see him in the distance, hailing a cab.

  ‘Robin! Robin!’ she shouted and began to run faster. He paid no attention to her, just kept waving his arm, trying to flag down a taxi.

  ‘Robin! Robin! Wait for me, please. Wait for me. Robin Dunley, stop! Don’t go.’ She hitched up her dress with both hands and ran after him, screaming his name at the top of her voice. Oh, God, no, she thought, when she saw a taxi coming to a standstill. His hand was on the door. He was going to leave.

  ‘Robin, wait! Wait for me. Please!’

  He finally turned around, one foot on the taxi’s step.

  ‘I wouldn’t say no to that, Guv,’ the cabbie said, leaning out of his window. ‘Go on, go to her. I bet you won’t regret it, Guv.’

  Robert stepped back, banged the door and turned around, watched as Elizabeth came rushing towards him, her hair flying out behind her. As she fell against him he caught hold of her tightly. She was out of breath, panting hard, tears streaming down her face. So frantic and distressed was she, he realized she wasn’t even able to speak.

  Holding her upright with one arm, he pulled out the silk handkerchief in the top pocket of his jacket and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

  ‘You’ll have to take me home,’ she mumbled against his chest. ‘I’ve no door key.’

  ‘I wouldn’t leave you out in the street like this,’ he answered curtly. ‘I’ll get you into the flat, and then I’m leaving.’

  Once they were back in the living room, Elizabeth leaned against the front door, said in a raspy voice, ‘You can leave if you wish. I don’t suppose I can stop you. Just tell me what I’ve done.’

  A deep sigh rippled through him and he closed his eyes for a moment, then went and leaned against the mantlepiece. ‘I told you a few minutes ago.’

  ‘I’m so sorry, so very sorry,’ she began and tears filled her eyes again. ‘Can’t you understand my anxiety about this award thing, and forgive me, or excuse me …?’ She left her sentence unfinished.

  ‘I’m just so bloody tired,’ he said, and so softly she hardly heard him. ‘I’ve had it up to here. And I’m fed up. We’ve been together for almost ten years, living together as man and wife, and now I think we should make it legal. And what about a child? You really ought to have an heir, you know. However, I need to say this … I want you to marry me, Elizabeth.’

  ‘You know … you know how reluctant …’

  ‘Oh, yes, I know all about that … your reluctance. What it boils down to is that you can’t marry me because you’re married to Deravenels. You love your business more than you love me,’ he yelled accusingly.

  ‘That’s not true!’ she cried, shouting back at him. ‘I do love you. I always have. You’re the only man I’ve ever had, the only man I’ve ever wanted.’

  ‘I’ve heard all this before. And now I have to go.’ He began to walk towards the foyer.

  She rushed after him, grabbed his arm, pulled him around so that he was facing her. ‘I love you so much … please give me another chance … I’ll try to overcome it … that fear I have of marriage. Just help me … let’s be engaged for a bit, and I’ll try very hard –’

  ‘You just can’t forget your father, and the way he treated your mother and all his other wives. He’s ruined you for marriage, I know that only too well, Elizabeth.’

  She began to weep, clung to him and finally he brought her into his arms, held her close, stroking her hair.

  After a moment she took a step backward, pulled the silk handkerchief out of his top pocket and dried her eyes. Swallowing, she said, ‘I’ve never loved anyone else the way I love you. We’ve been together for twenty-seven years actually, since we were little. Most people don’t have marriages that last so long.’

  Robert stared at her, saw the tangled mess of her hair, the tear-stained face, the smudged eye make-up, and he understood it all then. He could never abandon her; they were twin souls, as one.

  Reaching out for her, he brought her closer to him, held her by the shoulders, looking deeply into those dark, mysterious eyes. ‘I cannot leave you. How could I? I’m your creature, just as you are mine. I belong to you, and you belong to me, and I can never love another woman …’

  ‘And I will never love another man,’ she whispered. ‘Please don’t leave me, Robin. I’ll die without you.’

  When he was silent, she begged, ‘Please don’t leave me.’

  Touching her cheek gently, he nodded. ‘I promise you I will always be by your side … until the day I die.’

  And he was.

  BIBLIOGRAPHY

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  Eminent Edwardians by Piers Brendon (Pimlico)

  Henry VII by S.B. Chrimes (Eyre Methun)

  Victorian and Edwardian Décor: From the Gothic Revival to Art Nouveau by Jeremy Cooper (Abbeville Press)

  Great Harry: The Extravagant life of Henry VIII by Carolly Erickson (Summit Books)

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f England by Antonia Fraser (Weidenfeld Nicolson)

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  The Edwardians by Roy Hattersley (St. Martin’s Press)

  Churchill: A Biography by Roy Jenkins (Pan Books)

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  The Wars of the Roses by J.R Lander (Sutton Publishing)

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  The Wars of the Roses by Robin Neillands (Cassell)

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