Sarasota Dreams

by Mayne, Debby

  “He said he and I were just very good friends all along and that I should be happy for him. I feel so stupid now.”

  “Join the club,” Mary said. “I feel that way most of the time.”

  “I thought I did everything right. Whenever he wanted to do something, I was always right there, willing to do it with him. When he needed help with the food drive, I jumped in and volunteered. At the potlucks, he always wanted to sit with me, so I saved him a place. Wanna know what he asked me to do?”

  Mary shook her head. “No telling.”

  “He wants me to be in charge of the food for his wedding.”

  “Peter isn’t as smart as I thought he was.”

  “No, Mary, I think I’m the one who isn’t very smart. Now that I think back, I can’t remember a time when Peter ever said anything about getting married.”

  “Didn’t he tell you he loved you?”

  Shelley shook her head. “Never. Not even once. All he said was that we were about as close as two people could get without being husband and wife. I read into it too much.”

  “Everyone thought you two would get married.”

  “I know. He said something else I didn’t expect. He told me he always felt sorry for me because of William.”

  Mary gasped. “William is so sweet and such a blessing.”

  “Yes, I know. I thought Peter understood that, too. But he’s just like the rest of the people we knew in school, even though he’s a couple years older.”

  Mary dropped her arms by her sides. This just validated her mother’s words about men even more. Even from her vantage point, Peter had appeared smitten with Shelley. When they were at church, he never let Shelley out of his sight. He even came to the restaurant asking where his girl was.

  “This is terrible, Shelley, but you’re a strong woman. You can stand up to him and show you’re not the least bit fazed by his silliness and …” She wanted to say stupidity, but she held back. She’d already said enough.

  Shelley let out a tiny half giggle/half sob. “Mary, you are such a good friend. I’m glad you came back when you did.” She blew her nose then stuffed the tissue back into her pocket. “By the way, where did you go? Your grandfather said you left, but when I came out here, I saw your wheels.”

  “Sometimes when I need to think I catch the bus and go to the beach.” Mary tugged Shelley away from the spot where she’d been standing. “Why don’t you come to my grandparents’ house with me? I’m sure Grandma wouldn’t mind you staying for supper.”

  “No, I have to cook for William. Our parents are up in Ohio visiting family.” Shelley took hold of Mary’s hand. “Thank you for caring. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come along when you did.”

  “You would have done the same thing for me,” Mary said. “In fact, you have. Sometimes when I feel lost or all alone, you say something or give me a look that lets me know I’m not.”

  Shelley squeezed Mary’s hand then let go. “I need to get on home now. William is probably worried about me.”

  “Tell William I said hi.” Mary hopped back up on the seat of her three-wheeler. “Speaking of worry, I need to get home and help Grandma with her chores. I don’t want her to worry about me.”

  On the way home, Mary thought about the similarities between her life and Shelley’s. Although Shelley had never left the community, her older brother had fallen away from the church and her younger brother had Down syndrome, which made some of the other kids in school very uncomfortable. At first Mary wondered why Shelley was such a loner, but after she went home with Shelley a few times, she learned.

  Sometimes life just didn’t seem fair. Mary had done nothing to cause other people to pretend she didn’t exist, yet some still did.

  Mary’s mother had shared her faith with Mary, but she always mentioned the inconsistencies she’d noticed from some of the people who attended church. Not all of them, but some had twisted the Gospel to fit their agenda.

  Shelley somehow maintained her sweetness, and her zest for everything she did gave her the ability to overlook other people’s pitying glances. She was the only person who’d actually gone out of her way to be nice to Mary. Perhaps she understood how Mary felt on some level.

  What Peter had done was incomprehensible. As Mary reflected on how much time Shelley had put into that relationship, she had no doubt Peter had strung Shelley along, knowing what she expected. Mary knew she wasn’t supposed to be angry. The Lord would want her to turn her anger over to Him and simply pray His will be done. It wasn’t easy, but as soon as she pulled into her grandparents’ yard, that was exactly what she did. Mary had just closed her eyes and begun to speak to the Lord, asking for help in knowing how to comfort Shelley, when she heard Grandma.

  “Mary, is that you? Come inside right now. I need you to give me a hand in here.”

  “I’ll be right there,” Mary called back. She closed her eyes again, finished her prayer, and said “Amen” aloud before hopping off her three-wheeler and going inside to see what Grandma wanted.

  “Grace Hoffstetter is sick, and her husband, Bernard, needs some supper. I fixed them a little something, but I can’t leave the house. I want you to take this over to them.” She pointed to a casserole cooling on the counter. “You can stop by the restaurant and see if there’s any pie left from today that you can take with you. Tell your grandfather I said it was okay.”

  Mary nodded. Grandpa wouldn’t have minded if she’d taken pie, even if Grandma hadn’t said anything, but she didn’t need to mention that. “Is it just for Mr. Hoffstetter?” Mary asked.

  “As far as I know. I don’t think Grace can eat yet.” A pinched look came over Grandma’s face. “Josephine still hasn’t returned.”

  Mary had overheard Grandma telling Grandpa about Josephine Hoffstetter leaving the church. No doubt it brought back haunting memories of their own earlier lives.

  As Mary and Grandma got a basket loaded with some bread and other items to take with the casserole, Mary tried to make conversation. “What’s wrong with Mrs. Hoffstetter?”

  “Don’t know exactly.”

  “Is it serious?”

  “Don’t think so.”

  Grandma’s clipped words let Mary know she wasn’t in the mood to talk. They finished packing the food in silence.

  “Don’t stop anywhere except the restaurant,” Grandma said. “I want this food to still be warm when you get to the Hoffstetters’.”

  Mary bit her bottom lip. Grandma still treated her like she didn’t have the sense to know what she needed to do.

  After everything was all packed up, Grandma touched Mary’s arm, stopping her. “Your grandfather and I have been talking. We think it’s time for you to get a cell phone so you can let us know where you are.”

  “I can just tell you where I’m going,” Mary said. “I don’t need a cell phone.”

  “We’d like for you to have one, even if it’s on one of those prepaid plans. You make plenty of money in tips, and you don’t have anything else to spend your money on.”

  “I’ll think about it,” Mary said. “Let me get this to the Hoffstetters now so I can be back in time to help out with our supper.”

  Grandma nodded. “You are right, Mary. We don’t need to worry about you.” Her expression softened. “I will give you credit for being a good girl … at least so far.”

  Stunned, Mary lifted her eyebrows. “I try to be.”

  “Now go on, get outta here. I’m sure Bernard is half-starving by now.” Grandma shooed her out the door.

  After carefully placing the casserole and other items in the basket, Mary got on her three-wheeler and pedaled toward the restaurant to pick up some dessert for the Hoffstetters. She’d turned the last corner near the restaurant when she caught a glimpse of Abe bent over a car, talking to someone through the side window. He obviously didn’t see her, so she scooted around back.

  She found a safe spot for her three-wheeler, secured it, and walked into the restaurant, where
Grandpa was finishing the late afternoon cleanup. “Grandma told me to pick up some dessert for the Hoffstetters. Got anything good?”

  “Ya.” He pointed toward the pie case. “Take your pick. Give them enough for tomorrow, too.”

  Mary found a couple of to-go containers and carefully placed some chocolate cream pie in one and some coconut cake in the other. As she left, she lifted her hand in a wave. “See you in a little while.”

  “Does your grandmother want me to bring something home?” he asked.

  “She didn’t say, but I’m sure that would be good.”

  He nodded. “Okay, I’ll bring some cornbread and the rest of the chocolate pie—that is, if you left any.”

  “Oh there’s plenty left,” Mary said. She shoved the door open with her backside and slipped out.

  She couldn’t help but look for Abe when she got outside, but she didn’t see him. That was just as well. She needed to get this food to the Hoffstetters and then head straight home to help Grandma.

  It was a gorgeous day, with a blue sky and a few fluffy clouds that had drifted in from the Gulf of Mexico. A couple of seagulls called out as they flew over. The palm trees lining both sides of the road completed the postcard-perfect setting. The gentle breeze lifted the hair that had fallen beneath her kapp and fluttered the leaves of the trees.

  Mary sighed. She was blessed to be here in Sarasota, even though memories continued to haunt her. Grandma’s occasional softening gave her hope, but it rarely lasted long. She knew it was time to let go of her past and allow herself to appreciate God’s blessings and forgive anyone who chose to treat her poorly, but it was harder than simply making the decision to do it.

  After Mary made sure both of the Hoffstetters were fed and comfortable and the dishes were washed, she left their house. She’d turned the corner past the restaurant when she spotted Abe getting out of the car she’d seen him standing beside earlier. She was about to call out to him when the driver’s side door opened and out stepped Jeremiah. It wasn’t the same car she’d seen Jeremiah in earlier.

  Alarm bells rang in Mary’s head. What was Abe doing with Jeremiah?

  Chapter 10

  Mary’s heart lurched as she saw Abe and Jeremiah talking and laughing together as though they were good friends. Jeremiah stepped beside Abe on the sidewalk, and they went off in the other direction.

  She stopped pedaling and tried to process what she’d just seen. All this time Abe had seemed appalled by Jeremiah’s behavior and the things he’d said. Now, however, he looked perfectly fine with the man who’d fallen away from the church and said those horrible words about her.

  Mary’s mother’s words drifted back into her mind. During the past several days, Mary had convinced herself that Abe was different and that he was the one man besides Grandpa who could be trusted. Now she doubted herself and her ability to discern anything about anyone.

  She began pedaling as fast as she could, dodging people on the sidewalk as she headed home. By the time she arrived, she was hot and sweaty, and her face flamed.

  Grandpa had obviously just arrived home. He stood not far from the kitchen door, smiling, but she didn’t bother saying a word as she brushed past him.

  “Mary!” Grandma’s voice echoed through the tiny house. “Come here right now. Don’t you just tear through the house like a spoiled child. What happened?”

  Mary could hear Grandma getting closer. She was tempted to close her bedroom door, but that would only make the problem worse.

  Grandma stopped in the bedroom doorway and glared at her. “What’s got you in such a dither?”

  Mary slowly shook her head. “Nothing that matters.”

  “If it doesn’t matter, then I need you to come help me in the kitchen. I’ve been waiting for you. I expected you home a while ago. You were supposed to drop off the food and come right back.”

  “Mr. Hoffstetter said his wife might eat a little if I took it to her, so I did. Then she asked me to make some lemonade with some lemons Abe dropped off earlier, and—”

  “Stop.” Grandma held up her hand. “I get the picture. You helped the Hoffstetters, which was the right thing to do. Now let’s get moving so we can get supper done with before it gets dark.” She issued a stern look before going back to the kitchen.

  Mary sucked in a deep breath and slowly blew it out. She hoped she could get through the evening without losing her composure. Until seeing Abe, she hadn’t realized just how much she’d begun to think something might work out between them. He’d made it clear he wanted to advance their relationship, and it was starting to sound mighty good. But now that he was buddying up with Jeremiah, there was no way she could trust him.

  The tiny houses rented by the Mennonite and Amish families in Pinecraft were wired for electricity, so most of them, even those from the Old Order, used it sparingly. But Grandma and Grandpa preferred not to any more than necessary, which was why they tried to eat dinner before it got dark. They occasionally used candles, but with the large picture window across the back of the wall in the kitchen, it generally wasn’t necessary.

  Mary went into the bathroom and splashed water on her face, hoping to cool off. By the time she joined Grandma in the kitchen, she was able to think more rationally. Grandpa was out in the backyard, surveying his tiny garden.

  “Crumble up that sleeve of crackers, Mary, and sprinkle them over the casserole. We can stick it back in the oven for a few minutes and have a nice crust.” Grandma stirred something on the stove then turned down the burner. “Oh, by the way, we’re having company for supper, so you’ll need to set an extra place.”

  “Company?” Mary asked. “Who?”

  Grandma’s lips twitched into a smile. “Abe.”

  Mary’s arm stilled, and her ears rang. “Abe is coming over for supper?”

  “Ya. Your grandfather saw him after closing the restaurant, and he invited him to come eat with us. I thought you’d like that.”

  What could Mary say? She forced herself to continue preparing the cracker-crumb topping for the casserole.

  “We have a special key lime pie for dessert. I thought that would be nice to serve company,” Grandma said.

  “Yes, it’s very nice.”

  “Mary, turn around and look at me.”

  Slowly, Mary did as she was told. She tried hard to wipe any expression from her face, but she didn’t think she succeeded.

  “What are you so unhappy about?”

  “Nothing. It’s just that I enjoy spending time with you and Grandpa—just the three of us.”

  Grandma scowled. “Stop being selfish. Abe goes home to an empty house every night. He appreciates having a good meal with a family. Maybe someday soon he’ll have a wife and then a family of his own.” The harshness on Grandma’s face softened.

  “Maybe.” Mary couldn’t tell Grandma about the shock and the emptiness in her heart after seeing Abe with Jeremiah. She wouldn’t understand.

  Not much surprised Abe, but when Jeremiah had come to his house and asked what he could do to get back into the church, he was taken aback—particularly after the comments Jeremiah had shouted from his car. When Abe cornered him about that, Jeremiah seemed sincerely sorry for acting out in such a childish way.

  “I guess I’ve formed some bad habits that I’ll have to break,” Jeremiah had explained.

  “Ya, I guess you have.”

  Jeremiah had talked for more than an hour about his life outside the church. He said it was fun at first. Someone gave him a job, and shortly after that he’d learned to drive. When he had enough money saved, he bought his automobile. With the freedom of his own wheels came some things he said he was ashamed of.

  “I don’t think I need to go into the details,” he admitted, “but I can tell you it’s not anything that made me a better man.”

  Abe asked why he wanted to come back to the church if being on the outside was so much fun. The look of anguish on Jeremiah’s face touched Abe.

  “It’s really not as mu
ch fun as I originally thought. There’s a lot of trouble and insecurity in this world.”

  “Ya. There is that, but you won’t be able to completely get away from it. Even if you come back to the church, you might still see it.”

  Jeremiah folded his hands on the table. “The difference is with the church, you know there’s hope.”

  “Have you prayed about this?” Abe asked.

  “I tried. But it felt awkward.”

  Abe led Jeremiah in prayer then told him it was time to go see someone from church who could counsel him. But first he had some work to do on the farm. Jeremiah offered to help. After they finished, they went back into town to see one of the church elders.

  The initial meeting with Franz Bartel, the church elder, had gone much better than Abe had expected. In fact, Franz said the folks at the church had been praying for Jeremiah.

  “But I hope you understand that we must be very cautious about proceeding,” Franz had explained. “We don’t want our members to think we have a revolving door that you can come and go through on a whim.”

  “Yes,” Jeremiah said as he hung his head. “I understand.”

  “Are you willing to answer questions?” Franz asked. “Some of them may be quite personal, but we want you to repent of all the sins you’ve committed during this … extended rumspringa.”

  Jeremiah nodded, but the pain on his face was evident. Abe didn’t feel sorry for him, though, because he’d made the choice while others remained faithful to God.

  After they left the Bartels’ house, Abe asked Jeremiah if he’d like to have some coffee at Penner’s Restaurant. “They shouldn’t be crowded since it’s still about an hour before people arrive for dinner.”

  “Sounds good,” Jeremiah said. “I can take you back home afterward.”

  As soon as they walked into the restaurant, Joseph Penner greeted Abe but gave Jeremiah a curious look. When Jeremiah got up to use the men’s room, Joseph made a beeline for Abe’s table and asked what was going on. Abe explained Jeremiah’s desire to return to the church.

  “Praise the Lord,” Joseph said, “but be very careful. The serpent knows the Gospel as well as you and I do, and he’s not afraid to use it to his advantage.”