Sarasota Dreams

by Mayne, Debby

He smiled at her and closed both of his hands around the one of hers he was still holding. “Thanks for saying that. Pop told me it wouldn’t be an issue.”

  “What?” Ruthie had no idea what he was talking about.

  “I’ll tell you about it later. Right now I’d like to explain some of the things we’re about to see.” And he did, fascinating her with information she never dreamed existed.

  Once the show started, Ruthie sat mesmerized by everything that happened, one act after another and some happening simultaneously. It was all so different and new she didn’t have any idea what to ask.

  Charles occasionally explained each act as it appeared, and it made slightly more sense. Then it was over. All the performers and some of the animals came out for a final bow.

  “Well?” Charles turned and looked directly into her eyes. “What do you think?”

  “I think …” She blinked, almost expecting everything to disappear as she woke up from the most confusing dream she’d ever had. “I think it’s all fascinating and chaotic.”

  “That’s the best description of the circus I’ve ever heard.”

  She pointed down toward a clown in the arena. “And you wanted to do what that man is doing?”

  “Yeah, afraid so.”

  “But why?”

  Charles shrugged as he stood and pulled Ruthie to her feet. “It’s hard to explain. I’ve always felt as though my life was boring and no one would be interested in me the way I am. Clowns get quite a bit of attention, and they elicit reactions from people.”

  “They’re funny, but in sort of a scary way.”

  “I know,” Charles said. “And I liked that, too. No one really knows what to think about clowns because they do such unexpected things.” He tugged her toward the aisle. “C’mon, let’s get outta here. Want to stop somewhere for a snack?”

  “Okay,” Ruthie said.

  She thought about Charles’s comments about why he thought he wanted to be a clown. She understood more than he probably realized. All her life she’d felt invisible, but it never dawned on her to dress up in a silly outfit, slather pasty makeup all over her face, and throw herself around as she’d seen the clowns at the circus do. Even after seeing them, it still didn’t appeal to her.

  Ruthie had to shield her eyes against the late-afternoon sun as they walked outside.

  “You okay?” Charles asked.

  She nodded and was about to let him know her eyes were adjusting when a little boy pointed to her and asked the man beside him, “Daddy, why is that lady wearing that funny outfit? Was she in the circus?”

  “No, but she should be.”

  Ruthie felt Charles’s hand tense around hers as he pulled her toward the man and little boy. “We are not freaks. We are Mennonites.”

  The man snickered. “You just contradicted yourself. You religious fanatics are all a bunch of freaks if you ask me.”

  If Ruthie hadn’t pulled Charles away, she wasn’t sure what he would have done. “Come on, Charles. Ignore those people. They don’t understand.”

  “I can’t ignore them.” Ruthie had managed to get him far enough away from the people, so she relaxed just a tad before he hollered back, “You need to find out what you’re talking about before you teach your child a bunch of lies.”

  Ruthie wanted to crawl into a ditch and hide, but she couldn’t. The man was heading toward Charles, his face colored with rage. “Don’t you call me a liar, you—” She put her hands over her ears to block out the string of curse words that flew from his mouth.

  Charles blinked and glanced back and forth between the man and Ruthie before looking the man in the eye. “Okay, calm down. I wasn’t trying to call you a liar. I was just saying—”

  “Is there trouble over here?”

  Ruthie turned around and saw a couple of uniformed police officers. She started to say something, but Charles spoke up before she had a chance.

  “No, sir. We were just trying to explain to that man and his child that we are Mennonites.”

  One of the officers offered a friendly nod. “I like you people. We rarely have any trouble from your neighborhood.” Then he turned to the angry man and dropped his smile. “Would you like an escort to your vehicle?”

  After Ruthie was fairly certain they were safe, she let out breath she’d been holding. She’d seen a few confrontations but never when her personal safety was in jeopardy.

  “I am so sorry,” Charles said once they were buckled in his car. “That man made me so mad I wanted to hurt him.”

  “Do you understand that once you become Mennonite you are not allowed to fight anymore?”

  Charles gave her a goofy but apologetic grin. “That’s what’s so ironic about this whole situation. I’ve never been a fighter. In fact, the only time I was ever involved in a fight was when some kids decided to beat up on me one day after school.”

  “That’s terrible!”

  He shrugged. “It happens. Kids can be mean when they want to show off. Boys don’t want anyone to think they’re sissies. I guess that must be hard for you to understand—this whole thing about people being mean to each other.”

  “Oh no, I do understand that. I’ve seen my share of meanness. Just because Mennonites aren’t allowed to fight doesn’t mean they don’t find other ways to be mean.”

  “Well, I haven’t seen it.”

  “Trust me,” she said, “you will. That is, if you stick around awhile.”

  “So now where?”

  Ruthie gave him a puzzled look. “Where?”

  “Where would you like to go? Remember? We were talking about getting something to eat.”

  “Oh.” She tapped her chin with her finger. “How about Penner’s? They have the best pie in town.”

  “Sounds good to me. To Penner’s we go!”

  Ruthie tilted her head back and laughed. “You say the funniest things!”

  He cast a quick glance at her before focusing back on the road. “You think I’m funny?”

  “Very funny. I never know what to expect from you.”

  “And I thought I had to dress up like a clown to get a laugh.”

  Ruthie shook her head. “No, you don’t have to dress up like anything other than what you are.”

  Silence fell between them, and Charles’s expression changed from smiling to concern. “Does it bother you to think I’m funny?”

  “Of course not,” she replied. “I like to laugh.”

  “Whew. I was worried there for a second.”

  Ruthie laughed again. “See? That’s what I’m talking about. You don’t even have to try to be funny, but you are.”

  The rest of the way to Penner’s they talked and laughed. Ruthie couldn’t remember the last time she’d had so much fun and been so lighthearted.

  They walked into Penner’s Restaurant still laughing. Mr. Penner seated them at the corner booth where they had a view from two windows. Ruthie knew that was the best seat in the place. Mr. Penner gave her an understanding grin, making her face flame. She wanted to hide her face, but that would make her embarrassment obvious.

  “So did you have fun?” Charles asked once they were alone.

  “I had a wonderful time!”

  So Pop was right. Ruthie was perfectly content in the second-cheapest seats in the house. She even said she thought they were in the best place because they had a good view of everything. In a way, she was right. They couldn’t see all the performers’ facial features, but they got a good bird’s-eye view of everything.

  He opened the menu and perused the different sections. The desserts weren’t listed, but he could see a bunch of pies in the glass display case by the register.

  A server approached their table and addressed Ruthie first. “Hey there, girl. How ya been?”

  Ruthie smiled at the quirky girl in the apron holding the pencil and order pad. “Hi, Jocelyn. What kind of pie do you have today?”

  “The best coconut cream pie you ever tasted. Want some?”

  Ruthie nodde
d and looked at Charles. “Mrs. Penner makes all the pies, and I love her cream pies.”

  “Sounds good to me.” He closed the menu and slid it toward the server.

  “I’ve seen you in here before,” the server said. “You got a name?”

  Ruthie laughed. “Jocelyn, this is my … friend Charles.”

  Jocelyn arched one eyebrow as the corners of her mouth twitched into a grin. “Your friend, huh?” She looked directly at Charles. “Nice to meet you. You’ll love the pie. It is totally delish.”

  After Jocelyn left the table, Charles gave Ruthie a questioning look. She leaned forward and spoke in a low voice. “Jocelyn started working here after Mary married Abe.”

  “Oh that’s right,” Charles said. “I remember the story now.”

  “Jocelyn is different, but I’ve heard that the customers like her.”

  “And I suspect she’s not Mennonite,” Charles said.

  Ruthie giggled. “Whatever gave you that idea?”

  “Something about the outfit, the hair, and all the makeup.” He made a goofy face that had Ruthie laughing even harder.

  “You should have seen her before she toned it down.”

  The bell on the door jingled, so Charles glanced up. “Isn’t that Peter?”

  “You know Peter?” Ruthie asked.

  “I do, but only because of what happened to Shelley. I was at the feed store with Jeremiah once when Peter tried to start trouble. Jeremiah did a good job of diffusing the situation. I can’t say I would have done the same thing.”

  “Ya, I know how Peter can be.”

  “He’s not a very nice person, is he?”

  Ruthie shook her head. “No, he’s not, even if he is my cousin.”

  “Peter’s your cousin?”

  Her cheeks flamed. “Ya, his mother and my father are brother and sister.”

  “I never would have … I mean, you don’t seem like … um …”

  “That’s okay. People are always surprised when they find out.”

  Chapter 4

  A few minutes later, Jocelyn arrived with their plates of pie. “Here ya go. Enjoy!”

  “Thank you,” Charles said. “It looks delicious.”

  Ruthie appreciated how polite Charles always was. He’d treated her with the utmost respect all day.

  After Jocelyn left to check on Peter, silence fell between Ruthie and Charles. If Ruthie had any idea what to say, she would have spoken, but most of the time words didn’t come easily to her.

  “I had a great time today,” Charles finally said, breaking the silence.

  Ruthie nodded. “Ya, it was very nice. How long will the circus be here?”

  “Not long. They have two sets of performances every year—one in February and the other during the summer.”

  “Do you always go?”

  “I try to see them at least once per season. The man who spent the most time with me at clown camp still works with the troupe.”

  Ruthie sat up straight. “Was he there?”

  “He’s a behind-the-scenes guy. He used to perform as a clown, but something happened and now he helps produce the show.” Charles paused before adding, “So I didn’t see him.”

  “Oh.” Ruthie didn’t know what to talk about next, so she sat back.

  Jocelyn stopped by their booth to check on them. “Anything else I can get you two?”

  “I think we’re fine,” Charles said. He gestured toward Ruthie. “Unless you want something else.”

  “No thank you. I’m fine.”

  Jocelyn’s eyes twinkled as she smiled. “I hope both of you have a wonderful day.”

  She turned toward Peter and hesitated before taking a step. Ruthie watched, waiting for Peter to act out.

  “Would you like more tea?” Jocelyn asked, her voice slightly deeper than it had been seconds earlier.

  Peter opened his mouth but closed it as he shook his head. Ruthie had never seen Peter hold back. He obviously realized Jocelyn wasn’t easily bullied.

  “Sometimes I wish I could be more like Jocelyn,” Ruthie said after Jocelyn left.

  “Why?”

  Ruthie thought about what to say and decided she might as well be open with Charles. He’d find out eventually anyway. “It’s very hard for me to speak my mind sometimes.”

  “Some people speak their minds too much,” Charles said. “I find it refreshing to see self-restraint.”

  “You do?” She couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice.

  “Absolutely. Have you noticed that most people in their early twenties try to copy some of the crazy celebrities they see on TV?”

  Ruthie looked down at the table, cleared her throat, and looked back at Charles. “I wouldn’t know. I don’t watch TV.”

  Charles slapped his palm on his forehead. “That’s right. I forgot. I am so sorry.”

  “What is there to be sorry about? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “There are a few things I’ll need to get used to about living a simple life. I’ve been watching TV for as long as I can remember, so that’s one habit that’ll be hard to break.”

  After they finished their pie, Charles left a tip on the table and went to the counter to pay. Ruthie stood nearby, waiting and not knowing what to do, so she looked around the dining room. She felt awkward. Mr. Penner called out and asked if they were in a hurry because he needed to get something out of the oven. Charles said that was okay, he would wait.

  When her gaze met Peter’s, he smiled. Ruthie didn’t trust Peter enough to think his smile was friendly, so she quickly looked away.

  “Whatsamatter, Ruthie?” Peter called out. “Embarrassed to be seen in public with your new boyfriend?”

  Enraged, Ruthie walked straight toward Peter and glared down at him. “You are the meanest person I know, Peter. Why don’t you try to be nice at least once in your life?”

  Peter burst into laughter. “Don’t be so serious all the time, cousin.”

  “I don’t like all your insults.” Ruthie took a couple of deep breaths and tried to tamp back her anger. Even she was surprised by her action.

  “It’s hard to hear the truth, isn’t it?”

  “Are you this condescending to everyone?” Jocelyn said, startling Ruthie. She hadn’t seen Jocelyn coming.

  “What are you talking about?” Peter said. “This is a family conversation, in case you didn’t notice, and last time I checked, you weren’t in my family.”

  Jocelyn placed her hand on Ruthie’s arm. “Want me to get Mr. Penner?”

  Ruthie shook her head. “No thanks. Peter may be my cousin, but he’s not worth the effort of pulling Mr. Penner away from whatever he’s doing.”

  Peter yanked his napkin from his lap and stood, causing the chair to screech across the floor behind him. “You women are crazy. I don’t have to put up with this.”

  “Sit back down, Peter,” Ruthie said, her voice low and deeper than usual. “You’re making a spectacle of yourself. I’d hate word to get back to your mother.”

  He glared at her for several seconds, causing Ruthie’s pulse to accelerate. She had no idea what to do next. Charles had left the counter and walked toward them. “What’s going on?”

  Peter grabbed his napkin and sat back down. “Your girlfriend is acting crazy.”

  Jocelyn placed her hand on the table and leaned toward Peter. “Who’s acting crazy?”

  “You heard me,” Peter said. “And she’s not the only one.”

  As Peter and Jocelyn bantered, Ruthie saw something she hadn’t noticed before. Sparks of attraction flew with the words. Ruthie turned to Charles, who had clearly noticed as well.

  He placed his hand on hers and tugged her back toward the counter. “Stick with me, okay? I think they need to work through this on their own. Interference from us will just complicate things even more.”

  “I don’t want to leave Jocelyn.” Ruthie looked back at Jocelyn who remained in the same position, her face about a foot from Peter’s, both of them showin
g off and trying to get the upper hand. “On second thought, I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

  Mr. Penner approached the counter. “Sorry it took so long. I had to move a few things off the counter before I could …” He looked past Charles and Ruthie at Jocelyn and Peter. “What’s going on over there?”

  “Just a little spat of attraction,” Charles said.

  Ruthie gasped. She didn’t think Mr. Penner needed to be concerned with this.

  Mr. Penner laughed. “That has been going on for weeks. Peter comes in here with a chip on his shoulder, and Jocelyn keeps trying to knock it off. When he leaves, he says he’s never coming back, and Jocelyn says that’s a good thing because she doesn’t want to see him again.” He rubbed the back of his neck, still grinning. “But he always comes back to do it all over again. And Jocelyn is right there to argue with him. I don’t understand why, but they both seem to enjoy arguing.”

  Charles paid, thanked Mr. Penner for the pie, and led Ruthie to the car. “I’ve known couples who thrive on conflict. It might sound like arguing to most people, but it’s how some people show their affection.”

  “I don’t think I’d like that,” Ruthie said, hoping Charles wasn’t one of those who did. She didn’t think he was, but she still didn’t know him all that well.

  “I know I wouldn’t,” he said, putting her mind at ease a bit.

  “Peter has always been rather strong willed,” Ruthie explained. “He knows what he wants, and he stops at nothing to get it, even if it hurts other people.”

  “Yeah, I figured as much after he dumped Shelley when she thought he was going to propose.” Charles pursed his lips and looked at her. “Sorry. I shouldn’t talk about your cousin like that. It’s bad form.”

  “That’s okay,” Ruthie said. “You didn’t say anything I didn’t already know. The whole family likes Shelley, and they were appalled by what happened. We all assumed she’d eventually be part of our family, but then Jeremiah came along.”

  “Jeremiah seems like a good guy.”

  “I think he is.” Ruthie wasn’t sure what all Charles knew about Jeremiah’s past—leaving the church and living a wild life before coming back. And she wasn’t about to be the one to tell him.

  They pulled out of the restaurant parking lot and headed toward Ruthie’s house. She was content sitting in silence, watching the scenery as they rode.