Sarasota Dreams

by Mayne, Debby

  When they heard the knock at the door, Mother nodded toward Ruthie. “Want to get that, or would you prefer I greet them?”

  “I’ll go.”

  “Good. I’ll be right behind you.”

  Ruthie opened the door to three smiling Polks. Mrs. Polk handed her a plate covered in plastic wrap. “Brownies.”

  “Thank you.” Ruthie started to carry them to the kitchen, but Mother gestured toward the front room beside the front hallway.

  “Why don’t you have a seat in the living room? I’ll go outside and get my husband.”

  Ruthie showed them the living room then carried the plate of brownies into the kitchen, where she left them on the counter. When she went back to join the Polks, they were just sitting there looking as awkward as she felt. For some reason, that made her relax.

  “How long have you lived here, Ruthie?” Mrs. Polk asked.

  “Most of my life. We came to Pinecraft from Pennsylvania.”

  Charles opened his mouth, but before he said anything, something behind Ruthie caught his eye. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Papa as he came toward them.

  “Welcome, Polk family. We are happy you agreed to join us.” He faced Mr. Polk. “Come on, Jonathan. I’d like to show you my shuffleboard court.” Papa took a few steps before adding, “You can come, too, Charles, if you want to.”

  Charles nodded. “I’d love to see it.” He smiled at Ruthie, leaned toward her, and whispered, “My mom is very excited about being here. She says you have one of the nicest families she’s ever met.”

  Mother had already led Mrs. Polk to the kitchen, chattering the whole time. Ruthie could tell Mother liked Charles’s mother based on her facial expressions. She felt her shoulders relax as she realized she was nervous for no reason.

  Mrs. Polk quickly fell into conversation with Mother, discussing her lack of cooking during the past few years and how she’d gotten caught up in insignificant things. She said she was happy to focus on what was really important.

  “I can see how that might happen,” Mother said. “I have to admit I’ve been curious about some of the things we don’t have, so it’s probably best not to indulge.”

  “You are so right.” Mrs. Polk sniffed the air. “Something smells absolutely delicious.”

  Mother chuckled. “I hope it tastes as good as it smells. I really wanted to feed your family a good meal.”

  Mrs. Polk laughed along with Mother. “One thing I noticed at the potluck is how the women in the church like to feed everyone. I hope I can measure up.”

  “Trust me, Lori. No one is measuring how well you cook. We love to eat anything we don’t have to cook.”

  A half hour later, the two families were seated around the table. Papa bowed his head and everyone else followed. After he said the blessing, he looked all three members of the Polk family in the eye as he spoke. “We are honored to have you at our table, and we hope you enjoy your time in our home. Now let’s eat.”

  Everyone laughed and started passing serving bowls. Ruthie kept stealing glances at Charles, who seemed as enamored of her family as she was his. Mr. and Mrs. Polk were interesting and fun, and they seemed to have an excellent rapport with Mother and Papa.

  “Do you have other children?” Mother asked Mrs. Polk.

  The instant she said that, Ruthie saw the distressed look Mr. and Mrs. Polk shared. Her stomach lurched.

  Mr. Polk cleared his throat. “We had a daughter who was four years older than Charles. She was killed in a car accident when she was in high school.”

  “I am so sorry to hear that,” Mother said. “We experienced the loss of a child, only he was much younger.” Then she told about how the brother Ruthie never knew had drowned in a lake when the family was visiting some friends. “He was three years old and one of the most delightful children I’d ever seen. Our older daughter Amalie took it pretty hard. I never thought we’d be able to enjoy life again, but then Ruthie came along and showed us a whole new spectrum of light.”

  As the parents discussed their commonalities, Ruthie thought about how much sorrow both families had experienced, yet they still managed to go through each day, walking in faith.

  She noticed that Charles was very quiet, so she lifted the basket of rolls. “Would you like some bread?”

  He nodded and took the basket, but he didn’t say a word as he broke open a roll and buttered it. Ruthie worried that something had changed between them.

  Charles had been able to shove aside memories of his big sister Jennifer until times like this when his parents talked about her. He’d loved and adored her, and she never failed to be there for him. She was always such fun to be around, and she brought a steady stream of friends home. He’d developed crushes on more than one of them, although he never let any of them know.

  He noticed Ruthie giving him concerned glances, but he didn’t feel like talking now. She’d lost a brother, but that happened before she was born, so she’d never know or fully understand the pain he felt. The memory of losing Jennifer had removed all the joy of this visit.

  Mom and Pop continued chatting with the Kauffmans, and they’d already moved on, although the conversation had become much more solemn. But still, Charles didn’t understand how they could continue after bringing up Jennifer.

  “Would you like to see the flower garden Mother and I planted in the spring?” Ruthie asked. “We can go out there after dinner if you want.”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  Ruthie put her fork down, sat back in her chair, and stared at her food. He knew he’d snapped at her, but he couldn’t help it. All Charles wanted to do was go home and be alone in his room.

  Every now and then he noticed Pop giving him a stern glance, so Charles looked away. This continued throughout the remainder of dinner.

  Finally, Mrs. Kauffman stood. “Ruthie and I can clean up. Why don’t the rest of you go on into the living room? We can have dessert after our dinner settles.”

  Pop carried his plate to the sink. “I need to have a talk with my son anyway. We’ll go outside for a few minutes.” He darted a glance toward Mom. “Maybe you can help Esther and Ruthie in the kitchen.”

  She didn’t hesitate to agree, but before she lifted a dish from the table, she shot Charles a warning glance. He knew he was about to get the riot act about his sullenness.

  “C’mon, Son.” Pop started toward the door with Charles right behind him.

  The instant Charles pulled the front door closed, Pop turned around, placed his hands on his hips, and shook his head. “What are you trying to do? Sabotage our new friendship?”

  “No,” Charles said as he looked down at the ground. “It’s just that when Jennifer came up—”

  “Jennifer is gone, Son. I miss her as much as you do … maybe even more. She was our firstborn child, and from the moment I first saw her, she brightened every day. When she was killed, I felt as though the light had gone out and might never come back.” He paused and looked Charles in the eye.

  “That’s how I felt, too. Still do.”

  “I know, and it’s okay to still be sad over our loss.” Pop raked his fingers through his hair and let out a shaky breath. “If I could bring her back, I would. You know that. But I can’t. She’s in heaven now, and we’re still here.”

  Charles let Pop’s words work in his mind, but his heart still ached. “I just wish you hadn’t brought her up.”

  “It happens, Son. And it will for the rest of our lives. When people ask us about our children, it’s natural to bring her up. In this case, we learned that the Kauffmans also lost a child, so they understand what we’ve been through.”

  Charles couldn’t deny that. “That must have been tough for them, too.”

  “No doubt it was, but they’re still here, and they’re living their lives.” Pop took a deep breath and slowly let it out before looking back at Charles. “Do you realize that Jennifer told your mom that she loved the Lord and she wanted our whole family to start attending the ch
urch she went to with her friends?”

  “I knew she was going to church, but I didn’t know the details.”

  “You were awfully young, so you probably didn’t understand what was going on, and we didn’t like to talk about it much.”

  “I don’t get why we didn’t all go to church. Wouldn’t it have made things better?”

  “I was so angry about Jennifer dying that I refused to go, but your mother went, and she liked it. She said it brought her peace knowing this wasn’t all we had to look forward to.”

  Charles remembered when the women in the church surrounded Mom and brought meals on days when she couldn’t get out of bed. He didn’t fully understand what was happening back then, but now it made sense.

  “It took losing my job and working for Abe to realize the importance of faith in God,” Pop continued. “And now look at me. I’m dragging you and your mother to the Mennonite church. Who would ever have thought?”

  Charles nodded. “I can see the Lord’s hand in this.”

  “So can I, Son, and I think we need to remember that if the Lord can turn me around, he can certainly help us deal with the loss of Jennifer. She loved you, and she’d be the first to tell you to enjoy the rest of your life.”

  “You’re right, Pop.” Charles knew he still wouldn’t be able to shake the sadness that had come over him during dinner, but he could at least keep reminding himself of what Pop just said.

  “Why don’t we go on back inside so the Kauffmans won’t think we took off?”

  Charles nodded. “I think I’d like to see the flower garden.”

  “Good idea.”

  Ruthie heard Charles and his father come back inside the house. She could tell Mrs. Polk heard them, too, because she stopped what she was doing for a second and a look of apprehension came over her. Mother was quick to place her hand on Mrs. Polk’s arm and give her a gentle squeeze, just as she did when Ruthie was worried about something.

  “We’ve been through quite a bit since Jennifer died,” Mrs. Polk said softly. “It’s been especially hard on Charles. Just when we think he’s better, something sets him back. The sadness seems to stay with him awhile.”

  Mother gave Mrs. Polk a hug. “The sadness may always be with him. Sometimes I can’t help but think about our little Hans and how he found joy in everything—from wiggly worms in the ground to the birds in the sky.”

  Mrs. Polk sighed. “I’m sorry you all had to go through that, but it’s nice to know you understand.”

  “We do understand. If you ever need someone to talk to and pray with you, I’m always here.”

  Tears misted Mrs. Polk’s eyes. Ruthie had to turn away to keep from crying over the pain she saw.

  Charles appeared at the door and watched the women for a few minutes before clearing his throat. Ruthie knew he was there, but she couldn’t face him after the way he’d snapped at her.

  “Ruthie,” he said as he took a step toward her.

  She looked up but didn’t say anything.

  “I’d love to see your garden. Would you mind showing it to me now?”

  Ruthie glanced over her shoulder toward Mother, who nodded. “Good idea. Why don’t the two of you look at the flowers, and when you come back inside, we can have some dessert?”

  Chapter 6

  As soon as they got outside, Charles took Ruthie’s hand. “I’m sorry for what I did to you.”

  “You didn’t do anything.” She still didn’t feel like looking at Charles, so she pointed to a row of marigolds. “My favorite colors are all the different shades of orange and yellow.”

  “They’re very pretty, just like you.” Charles turned her around so she couldn’t avoid looking him in the eye. “You’re not only pretty on the outside, you are a beautiful person on the inside. I should have never been so abrupt with you. I’m sorry.”

  Ruthie had to fight back the tears as she nodded. She didn’t know why his apology brought this kind of emotion, and she certainly didn’t want him to see her cry.

  “So why don’t we try to start over and talk about our next date?”

  Now when Ruthie looked him in the eye she saw something different. His eyes were still filled with pain, but she could tell he truly wanted her to forgive him.

  “Since we went to the circus last time, why don’t we do something simple?” she said softly.

  She loved the way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. “I would love that. Got any ideas?”

  “Well …” Ruthie thought about the different things she did and realized it might seem boring to him. “You might not think this is fun …” Her voice trailed off as her cheeks heated up.

  “You might be surprised. I’m not that hard to please.”

  “We can walk on the beach or go on a picnic.”

  “I love both of those ideas,” Charles said. “Why don’t we have a picnic on the beach? Nothing like a little sand to add texture to the picnic food.”

  Ruthie laughed. “And seasoning.”

  “Now that we’ve settled that, tell me about your flowers.” He pointed to the periwinkles. “What are those?”

  Ruthie led him along the path as she pointed out the varieties of flowers and told him what she knew about them. “I’m sad that some of the flowers are starting to wilt, but not all of them can take the hot Florida summer sun, like these impatiens.”

  “If I tried to grow any of them, they’d wilt, even in the best of conditions,”

  Charles admitted. “I don’t exactly have a green thumb with flowers.” He held up his thumb. “But good thing I have a knack for vegetables and fruit. I don’t think Abe would appreciate my killing his crops.”

  She couldn’t help but smile as he made a funny face. “Mother is the one who understands flowers. I used to overwater them. She’s teaching me that giving any living thing more than it needs can ruin it.”

  “That’s true with everything. Even people and animals.” He touched the tip of his fingers, counting off the different farm duties as he named them.

  “Do you see yourself staying in farming?”

  He looked out over the yard, paused, and turned to face her, nodding. “There’s always something that needs to be built or fixed, like a barn or piece of farm equipment. I enjoy being busy all day. Makes me feel like I’m doing something worthwhile.”

  “Do you think you’d like to have your own farm someday?”

  Charles shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I’m still taking some college classes, but I’m losing interest in school very quickly. Mom and Pop used to push me to go to college, but now they’re backing off.”

  “You know Abe went to college,” Ruthie said.

  “Yes, he graduated with a degree in business, which was a smart thing to do. From what I hear, he turned his family farm around from barely making ends meet to being a tremendous success.”

  Ruthie nodded. “That’s what I hear, too.” She wondered if he had any idea of the fool she’d made of herself when she threw herself at Abe. Ruthie decided to bring it out and get if off her mind. “I used to have a crush on Abe.”

  “You did?” Charles gave her a worried look. “What happened?”

  Ruthie shrugged. “When I realized he wasn’t interested, the only thing I felt was embarrassment. Since I wasn’t all that brokenhearted, maybe I wasn’t ready for a relationship.”

  “Are you ready now?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He smiled. “You’ll know when it’s time … at least so I’ve heard.”

  “Ready to go back inside?” The conversation had gotten uncomfortable, and Ruthie didn’t want to stay on the same track.

  When they walked into the house, their parents were already sitting around the table again, enjoying dessert. “Why didn’t anyone let us know?” Charles asked.

  “We didn’t want to interrupt you.” Mother hopped up from the table and grabbed a couple of plates. “Would you like coffee, tea, milk, or water?”

  Ruthie and Charles joined their paren
ts, who didn’t waste any time resuming their conversation about the Polks’ house. “It was Lori’s dream house when we first bought it,” Mr. Polk said.

  Mrs. Polk nodded but looked wistful. “It started out being my dream house, but now that my dreams have changed, it’s not so much anymore. If anything, it’s become a burden.”

  “Then why do you hang on to it?” Papa asked.

  Ruthie wished Papa wouldn’t be so quick to ask that question. Everything was so simple to him—black and white with no shades of gray. But Ruthie knew most people weren’t like Papa.

  Mr. and Mrs. Polk looked at each other before she spoke up. “We’ve discussed it, but the housing market isn’t all that great right now. Besides, where would we go? With my husband out of a job, we probably won’t qualify for a mortgage on another house.”

  “Then rent,” Papa said. “That’s what we do, and we’re perfectly happy.”

  “My wife … I mean, we never considered renting after we hopped onboard the mortgage train.” Mr. Polk chuckled. “We assumed the market would continue to go up and equity would keep increasing.”

  “What does that matter if you feel that your house is a burden?” Papa asked. “The Lord doesn’t want us to feel the burden from things on earth.”

  “Good point,” Mr. Polk said. “That’s something Lori and I should probably discuss … among many other things.”

  “Yes, think about it, discuss it, and do whatever you feel you need to do,” Papa said. “Just don’t allow your house to create a wedge between you and your faith. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I were in that position.”

  Mrs. Polk nodded. “We are having trouble sleeping.” She gave her husband a contemplative glance. “Yes, I agree it’s probably worth discussing. We can’t continue as we have, worried about how we’re going to come up with our mortgage payments to keep the bank from foreclosing. I wish we’d saved more money when Jonathan was working, but we never saw this coming.”

  “Even if you had saved money, it doesn’t last forever,” Papa said.

  As the parents talked, Ruthie cast an occasional glance at Charles to see his reaction. He seemed to be taking it all in just as she had.