by Clare James
In reality, I wasn’t sure the addiction story wouldn’t do damage to my career. I didn’t know anything anymore. I just wanted to be done with it.
“I’m in,” she said when she heard my plan.
“Case, you have to be sure. Remember, you’re going to have to make up all of your sources and medical information. Basically fabricate the entire piece. If we are found out, you could be fired and your reputation would be destroyed. It’s nothing to take lightly.”
“I said, I’m in.”
“You’re going to need some help,” I warned.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I actually have a few friends at the station.”
That damn sassy mouth of hers.
The plan was for Casey and crew to meet me after my follow up appointment with Dr. Hart. I’d work with one of the nurses on the down low to get a room for us to shoot in.
Though I didn’t know how the hell I was going to get through this without trying to play doctor with Ms. Scott.
And as I took a shower that night to wash away the stress of the day, that image was exactly what played behind my eyelids as the steaming water ran down my face.
Forget her KXAA Sports Girl get-up. Casey in a nurse’s uniform, tight across her ample rack; the skirt cut just under her ass showing off those toned legs? Nothing could’ve been better.
Christ, I stroked myself thinking about it. How I’d reach up under the uniform to find she wasn’t wearing panties, and there was nothing but her bare pussy waiting for me.
I imaged pushing her over the hospital bed, lifting her skirt, and having my way with her.
And that’s all it took.
I came hard and fast. My body shuddered, and I felt like I could breathe again. Hopefully that would get me through tomorrow.
We’d get through the shoot (with no funny business), Case would air her story, and we’d both save face.
Then, I’d be done with Casey and could get on with my life and take my rightful place with the Wild.
Chapter 17
Casey
Anchor/Kiki Stuart: I know this next part is going to be very difficult for you – a heart-breaking tragedy with all of this going on.
Casey: When it rains.
Anchor/Kiki Stuart: In a crazy messed up way, I think I’m finally beginning to see how all of this took shape.
Casey: Could you fill me in? Because I still don’t get it.
Zack was asleep when I got home, a bottle of whiskey still open on the counter. From the looks of it, my brother went on a bit of a bender.
Shit, he wanted to talk to me yesterday and I blew him off. I had to start paying attention to people in my life. Tomorrow, I’d get up early and make him breakfast.
In the meantime, I needed to move forward with Operation: Save Finn.
I called in a favor to my only two allies.
“I need your help,” I said when Mack answered the phone.”
“What is it?” she asked.
“It’s about Finn. And it’s top secret.”
“I’m here for you, babe. Anything you need.”
“It’s illegal and unethical,” I told her.
“Anything worth doing is,” she responded.
Mack had quickly become one of those people in my life who was priceless. I think she’d help me hide a dead body if need be.
My next call was to Jonathan – though I already knew his answer. He’d be in. No question.
***
I woke up feeling good. Strong. Like things would actually be okay.
I had bacon and eggs in the skillet, waiting for my hung-over brother to wake.
Around ten a.m., he finally made his way downstairs.
“Coffee in the pot, drunk-o,” I said. “Breakfast will be ready in two minutes.”
“Thanks.” He shuffled over and poured himself a cup.
“What happened last night?” I asked.
“We got some news.”
I instantly got the shivers.
“We?”
“Yeah.” Zack rubbed his hands over his face. “I’ll just say it. Dad died, Case.”
I tried to process what he was saying. The word Dad sounded so foreign on his lips.
“Uncle Brad thought we’d want his ashes. He sent them here with an urn.”
“When did he die?” I asked.
“A few weeks ago.”
“Did he have a funeral?” I asked, thinking this was an absolutely insane way of finding out your parent died.
“No.”
“Uncle Brad said Dad pretty much used up all his good graces with every last relative. Even stole money from a few of them. Plus, it took a week to find him. He overdosed.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“I know, Case. I know.”
“I have to get out of here for a minute,” I said, suddenly feeling claustrophobic.”
“Do what you need to do,” Zack said. He was calm and sweet. I think he’d already confronted some of his demons.
I didn’t need any further permission. In the next minute, I whipped on my running clothes and took off out the door.
Chapter 18
DELAY OF GAME (n.):
Deliberately causing a stoppage of play.
Finn
The next day, I picked up Casey to go over the story with the others.
“Hey, Zack,” I said when he answered the door. “Casey around? I’m supposed to pick her up.”
“Yeah, about that. Sorry, man, but we got some bad news and she needed to blow off steam. She went for a run.”
“Can I ask what happened?”
“We got this yesterday,” he said gesturing to an intricate vase.”
“Okay?” I asked, confused.
“It’s an urn.”
“Jesus, sorry, Zack. Who died?”
“Our dad.”
“Fuck.”
“It’s okay.” Zack waved me off.
“Dude, it’s not okay. Your dad died. That’s heavy. How’s Casey doing?”
As much as I wanted to walk away from her, I didn’t want to see her in pain. It killed me.
“I know this is going to sound bad,” Zack said, “but it’s like a stranger who passed. We didn’t know him. He was an addict and walked out on us when we were little. And I think we both feel guilty, because we don’t feel like we should. You know, losing a parent.”
“Addict?” I asked. Things were finally beginning to make sense with Casey. An addict father who ran out on her. I understood why she had the reaction she did.
“Prescription drugs, I think,” Zack said. “Nobody ever told us, but it’s what I’ve pieced together through the years.
“Shit.”
“Yeah,” Zack said. “But really, don’t sweat it. We knew the day was coming. Casey will be okay.”
Fuck that. I was sweating it, and I would find her.
Chapter 19
Casey
Anchor/Kiki Stuart: I’m so sorry for your loss. How’d you get through it?
Casey: I had Zack, and surprisingly, I had Finn too.
Finn: That’s my one regret. I wish I could’ve helped more.
My head was spinning as I jogged the first mile away from Zack’s place. My head flooded as I remembered.
The memories I had of my dad were few. Him picking me up and spinning me around at Christmastime; helping Zack build things in the garage; a dinner here and there.
More so, I remembered the screaming between him and my mom; slamming doors; my mom’s tears. At the time, our home was, most often, a place of unrest. A hot pot on the stove, waiting to boil over. The tension was tangible.
It wasn’t any place for a child.
I always tried to push him out of my mind. He didn’t deserve my tears or sadness or regret. I tried to tell myself he didn’t matter. But, of course, he did.
When he left, I thought it was because I couldn’t be quiet during his naps. I thought I was a bad girl who nobody wanted to be around, because, well, it was true.
Until my chest burned with fiery pain. I stopped just before I was about pass out.
Bent over, I tried collecting my breath, but that’s when the sobs kicked in. So I was on the sidewalk in the middle of town, hands over my knees, staring at the ground, feeling everything caving in on me.
And that’s when Finn’s truck stopped. He parked it along the road, got out, and made his way toward me.
He didn’t say anything. Just placed a palm to my back, passing his strength and compassion through his touch.
It made me feel worse for everything I’d done to him.
I was no better than my dad – my father’s daughter, that was for sure.
And that made me cry more.
Finn continued to rub my back.
“Hey, don’t start being nice because you feel sorry for me,” I told him. “I know it’s just business between us now.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you, Case,” he said. “Then again, I don’t process things like most normal people. But I am sorry for your loss. I know it’s complicated, but it still has to hurt.”
“That means a lot,” I said.
“I guess I didn’t know how deep the drug issue ran with you. Wish I would’ve known. It makes more sense now.”
Not to me, it didn’t.
“If it’s any consolation, I wish I would’ve known about you too.”
There was so much truth to that statement. If I would’ve known, we wouldn’t have been in a hairy mess. Maybe we would’ve even been together. But I couldn’t think about that, there was too much pain to process as it was.
“What a pair we make.” Finn shook his head.
“Yeah, the orphan and crazy guy,” I tried to make light of the situation.
“That’s crazy guy and orphan to you.” Finn played along and I was grateful for that.
“I’ve missed you,” I said, no longer worried about saving face. This was me. I was sad and vulnerable and in love with Finn. Even though I couldn’t let him know about the enormity of my feelings for him, I could be honest with the aching way I missed him.
“I’ve missed you too, Case. But you know, I’ve been told I’m a good care taker. Want to let me try? Maybe some of it will wear off.” He winked.
“I’d like that,” I said, desperate to fall into his arms.
Yet, I couldn’t. Someone needed me and for once, I would be there.
“But right now,” I said. “I think I better get to Zack. I think he could use a little TLC.”
“See?” Finn’s eyes lit up. “It does rub off.”
I wasn’t sure if that was true or not, but I sure liked the sound of it.
Chapter 20
DEKE (v.)
When a player handles the puck in such a manner to fool the opponent into moving out of position, allowing the player to get past. Originated from the word decoy.
Finn
“So how are you doing, Finn?” Dr. Hart asked when I arrived.
I was really going in for my follow up appointment with the good doctor.
The real fun, however, would begin when Casey and crew joined me.
One of my favorite nurses cleared the camera crew. I told her that after my appointment with Dr. Hart, I was scheduled to do a story about sports medicine and we needed a hospital space to conduct the interview. It was no problem getting her to agree.
But while I was there with Dr. Hart in private, I had something serious to get off my chest.
Once again it was Casey. As much as she was to blame for all that happened, I couldn’t help but think of her as a victim as well. And my heart hurt for her.
What’s more, I wanted to try again. I wasn’t sure she was willing, but I would fight for her. But first I had to make sure she I could give her what she needed.
“I have a confession,” I told Dr. Hart.
“Okay,” she said.
“The first night back, I didn’t take my medication.”
“Why on earth not?”
“That’s the thing, doc. It’s pretty personal, and I’m also scared shitless about it.”
“Finn, trust me. Nothing you can say will shock me.”
“I was with someone that night. And I worried that the meds would impair my abilities.”
“So you didn’t take the medication because you thought you wouldn’t be as good in bed. Is that right?”
“That’s right.” Damn, it felt good to say it out loud. “It’s the same with hockey. On the meds, I’m not as intense or focused – especially as I was during my manic periods. I’ve had to learn to play differently. And with sex, it’s also been a big part of my life. I know being hypersexual can be part of a manic episode, but it’s one of the symptoms I rather enjoy.”
“Go on,” Dr. Hart encouraged.
“That piece of me, well, it’s defined my life as long as I can remember. And now, I have someone special and I think she’s grown accustomed to my ways in bed.”
“But you were on medication those first few times, right?”
“Yes, but obviously it wasn’t the right dose, because I was with her the night I landed here.”
“That could just be a coincidence,” she said. “Let me ask you something. Other than the night, have you ever had an episode during a sexual moment with this special someone?”
“No.”
“Are you worried about cheating on her because you can’t control your urges?”
“Hell no. She’s all I can think about. And that’s a whole other issue.”
“Tell me,” Dr. Hart said, taking notes. “What’s the other issue?”
“I’m obsessing over her. I worry she might be a trigger.”
“Finn, it’s true intense emotion can trigger manic or depressive episodes. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have those experiences. That’s life. From what you’ve told me, I think what you have going on is a love affair. While it might not be a trigger issue, love can be very scary and intense. I’d like you to try to embrace it and stop worrying. But please take your medication.”
Love. Shit.
“That’s not all,” I told her, needing to know one other piece of rather embarrassing information.
“Continue, please.”
“What about the drugs? Can I stop when we, you know, have a special night planned?”
“Absolutely not. No stopping the medication. Finn, if you were skilled without the medication, you will be skilled with it. And if you feel you’re not, we will try a new medical regimen.”
“You think it’s that easy?” I asked.
“I think we can fix this, yes. Are you taking your medication now?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Then my suggestion to you is to have sex with this special someone and see how it goes. Let’s try that first. I have a feeling you will be the same in bed, regardless. Plus, I don’t think missing one dose would change things that drastically for you.”
One could only hope.
***
“Are you ready?” I asked Casey when I was done with Dr. Hart. Of course, I would’ve rather started on Dr. Hart’s plan to get her into bed, but we had more pressing issues.
“Yes,” she said to me. Then she looked to Mack with a twinkle in her eyes. “Ready to play doctor, Mack?”
“Playing doctor with Finn Daley?” Mack rubbed her hands together. “Hells, yes.”
Mack was in disguise – a rather good one. With her costume, and the way Jonathan was shooting, nobody would be able to tell it was her. And for the next fifteen minutes, we conducted a fake interview with our fake doctor, about my fake ankle injury and fake addiction to pain killers.
It was pretty brilliant, and I was sure it’d work.
Too bad we never got the chance to use it.
Chapter 21
Casey
Anchor/Kiki Stuart: And that brings us to the press conference.
&
nbsp; Casey: That it does.
Anchor/Kiki Stuart: Tell me what happened.
I felt good about the material we shot at the hospital. There was plenty to use for the story.
Finn seemed in better spirits as well, and I decided that after Jonathan and I got this story in the can, I was going to come clean with my feelings. That night, I’d tell Finn that I was in love with him.
I didn’t think it’d make a difference, but today I watched his eyes go all tender anytime he looked in my direction, a little spark of hope flickered.
Jonathan and I dropped Mack off so we wouldn’t draw any attention back at the station. That’s when we got the call.
“Casey,” Phil said, his voice laced with something I hadn’t heard from him before. Excitement, maybe. “I need you to get down to the X as soon as possible.”
“Why?” I asked, feeling a sinking sensation deep in my belly.
“We’re holding a press conference out front this afternoon.”
“What about, Phil?” I asked, not liking the sound of it.
“It’s a surprise,” he said. “Just get your ass down here.”
“Okay, fine.” I told Jonathan to head to the X. “We’re on our way.”
“ETA?” Phil asked.
“Fifteen,” I told him. The reluctance only grew with each mile we drove closer to the X.
Chapter 22
SNIPER (n.):
A player with a powerful, accurate shot skilled at finishing plays.
Finn
When my phone rang after the video shoot, I was hoping it was Case.
It was Ava.
I’d been blowing her off since our calzone night. I felt bad about it, but I didn’t want to lead her on. Plus, I had been honest with her. She was the one who said she’d wait for me.
Still, that was another thing to settle before I tried to make things permanent with Casey.