Lucky Me
Page 2
Exempt, absorbing blue,
devoid of all but filtered light,
the sky looked down
impartially, and drew
the faintest veil over night.
It witnessed, without
affect, and without the
prerogative of right,
a bird attached to fireworks
take flight, explode,
and then ignite.
MOTHER AND CHILD
Staring from an oscillating face,
unprotected and pocked
by the arrows of expanding time,
the moon has no memory
of birth. It was burst from the
belly of a blasted earth, and held,
umbilically,
by a mother’s mysterious force.
She of course is losing
her grip, but imperceptibly,
(her foetus won’t snap free):
She’s tilted with pride
and drugged by monotonous spin.
It will take an infinite warp till
she sees his face
recede with the diminishing
pull of the tide.
THE TOSS
If Death insisted that you choose
between breathing out and breathing in
harmonicas would argue that you couldn’t lose,
flutes that you couldn’t win;
but harps would say that you need no breath,
would see no gain from either choice,
for they have donned the shrouds of Death
and stay suspended in its voice.
ACT TWO
The moon subsumes the sun,
surreptitiously, like a phagocyte
a mite, dimming day into night,
using tentacle, not bite,
choosing fear before fright -
the moon subsumes the sun.
Act Two, scene four, line 1.
THE CORE
Hawk sight and dog scent, plus
the touch of Keller,
might help us
to travel chemical, to reach
a bottom quark,
or even dark
matter for that matter.
Throw in the blind
for their hearing, (and,
if he doesn’t mind,
a raging chef), then my goodness
we would soar
high, or even bore
like moles into the molten.
SUBURBIA
Unexpectedly the ice-stone
sank, where the heart berths,
tethered if you know your anatomy
to a desolate suburb
of flat and featureless terrain
in the brain – without arched mountains
as a backdrop, without caressing
sycamore for shade – a pastel
zone, a wither zone.
And to dissolve the stone
he sought the chaos of the centre,
where crickets shrieked,
where tree stems offered sweet
latrines for dog and drunk,
where rhythm beat the terror
out of night, alone.
FOUR
Sevenths
ALIENATION
Safely placed on the moon
I watched the earth spill
yolk, as it split into two.
Dust smoked, and cups
of crust lost poise,
while water tried to fall.
I saw one continent break
into bits, like chocolate,
and another buck the way
loose wire does when
live. To be honest I could
have given up and cried,
because the rest of the sky
took absolutely no notice.
I had the option of staying
on the moon, of making a
permanent home there, but
everyone had gone, everyone;
so I reattached my wings
and flew towards the sun.
WISHING
I look out from the living
without the clarity of youth,
towards history, arriving
by light at light speed, late.
Previous suns, spelling an
elemental tale, feign
nonchalance, and blink;
too remote to influence
the living, (driven by reliable
light), to think. Instead they
look in, towards silos of brutal
waste, greed and ambition.
I am past wishing and prefer
apparition, the unsettling
hologram, the gossamer
sliver of pearl in gas lace.
LINARIA
At equinox
when light and dark divide
he fetches tools. Hand
trowels, fowl droppings, collected
seed; and turns
the hibernating soil.
His neck corrects
for gravity with chalk
on chalk, and weightless grains
are lifted pinched
between his father’s bones.
In ancient
brain his mother, thin
in cotton, leads him past
the angled fig. Past
rock that clipped his toe.
They fling dry seed
and dip their biscuit halves in
tea. Next thought she calls
him round from play. They
scan, indelibly, an oblong
joy. His feet stick firm
in dry dust, and
he startles like wing.
With thick saliva tasting of
kiss, he stoops to rake
then wet the modern earth.
Nails and implements are washed
clean, the dog is given a stick; and
he waits for colour.
LUCKY ME!
I believe in luck!
Shot – or not – by a ricochet.
Squashed like a frog when a block
collapses – or not.
I forfeit hymn,
outrage and despair. The
elements are indifferent. They
obey physics, not prayer; they
jump to commands from a seething
earth writhing – or resting – flailing
their arms when it storms – combing
their hair when it calms.
I believe in luck!
Caught in the gaze of a
lion – or eaten up.
MEETING
A fitful dream (the type
provoked by alcohol or meat)
is like running in toffee.
The most that one can
hope for is to meet
a kind ghost.
Last week in such a dream
(it could have been the heat)
I met my mother.
I knew it was my mother
because the arms were hers
and because she wore my feet.
I tried, like any boy would, to
touch her cheek and speak,
but hand and tongue were wrapped
in web, and weak. I tried
once more to reach her face, but
it was skewed, and turned into a sheet.
RAT
At my age even a rat, running
snout low, has me sucking air.
To glimpse wild, (the there … and gone)
is a surprise, an unanticipated gift
unsnapped … a story half-believed,
uncomfortable, envied.
Like a disappearing snake
there is an impulse, always late,
to corner and destroy
the marvel, to own and out-manoeuver,
to carve a triumph out of
petty stone.
But rats are safe with me!
I have the time to stay on guard,
to catch another instant
of
uncertainty when fermions collide,
(or is it bosons?
or mesons?
or even smaller ‘strings’?)
I’ll have to wait and see.
SWIMMING BACK
I remember living,
swimming.
I would rise and surface, then
re-submerge to strain warm
2liquor through the frill
that forms my gills;
oblivious.
Awareness was instinctual – before
the smell of father-smoke woke
love. I was older too, with
dormant eyes, darting from
the abstract of predatory mouths;
while fear was strictly limited,
(to dish-kiss for example),
and immortality contained
in global endometrium.
Volcanoes would have blacked
the sea (despite the sun being younger
then) with basalt, while comets
would have mesmerized the moon
and drawn me into shallows.
Fish? Foetus? Both perhaps, and
swimming,
twirling,
unbothered,
like innominate nebulae.
2 Liquor, pronounced ‘lie-cor’, is the fluid surrounding a foetus in utero
FIVE
Sevenths
GIRL SKIN
It was late enough
while exercising Alice
to let her off the lead,
and safe enough to have
her sniff wolf urine
as she pleased.
I also sniffed, and I
should have sniffed for
crimson, for the emblem
rose, but my nostrils,
(sensing rebellion and seeking
out blemish), settled for
fresh-clipped grass.
It could have been
the season of late summer
(when roses scorch) that stopped
convention, but I believe it was school
cricket, (towels at the pool),
because nasal vibrissae like
wolves, cherish a smell,
(especially an itchy smell),
that remembers girl skin.
MOTHER’S DAY
i’ll race you my mother
said to the house
and her polka-dot dress
went flying and her feet
took off i had never
seen her run or take her
shoes off in the sand
nor had i seen the
white behind her knees
it was the last time
that i was fat as i
remember and the squeak
of galloped dust still
stings with gasp as
happy as snow on her
birthday she catches and
hugs and kisses the salt
from my eye
HAPPY EASTER
(for a friend in Zimbabwe)
Your walnuts are falling crack
onto our tin
roof like bullets, shivering brains that also bounce
soft on the turf for Alice to snack
with her wolf jaw.
She nibbles to find the right plane,
the sagittal suture
that gives like a vice-caught tooth;
not shattering, not bursting, not
leaving the root; but brute
force nevertheless.
And your roses are banking, John,
on a frostless Easter
and a hidden moon, especially the pink rose outside
your outside room. With autumn all but gone
it will have to stand
idle and shoulder the wait for a happier bloom.
For Alice though the season
offers coat-oil and approved prey, cranial
fuel in cerebral folds, shelled memory for
her seven worn years
till your walnuts are falling.
3UMZINGWANE, RIVER REMEMBERED
The river, vivid in remembering,
separates a boulder
from a blue, perched fisher - a
kingfisher - sharpening its beak.
Flood wood, water smell
fresh with oxygen, canvass
shoes, and our own fire
for the flames. That, and a
stunned worm stopped wriggling,
to catch small bream.
Further up the bank beyond the
willow is a cow bell, and a cow boy
whipping, slipping in cow shit
and cracked mud. We listen and
search for a beetle that is tapping, tapping.
But the river, resembling philosophy,
reassembles myth and memory,
wets synaptic furrows that imagine
they are dry, and flushes
old veins with pomegranate dye.
3 The Umzingwane River in Zimbabwe
FUN FEAR
Searching for a thought
to frame the terror-virgin
giggle, the chill-thrill, the
Poe poem, Edith’s Snake,
or Granny’s cracking wart,
I double back, reverse
my metamorphosis and
enter storm drains, Sunday
city buildings, port
bars, until, finally, I squirt
into a sperm, and
wriggle through her ostium
more quickly than I ought.
FUCHSIA
Because of shade, (and our
ineptitude), fuchsia have assumed ascendancy in
the garden. Their leaves have a preference for tree-soft
light and they thrive like fungus
in damp-shelter.
We have a host of coy
varieties (close to twenty four or more)
which dangle like bright shells
at a festival. Everyone’s favourite is
voodoo, and it is impressive,
(being double red and magenta with arms
that need support); but my
personal preference (among fuchsia)
is for varieties with subtle leaves.
If there’d been less shade
however, and less rain in our garden, we
might have been more successful with rose
bushes or agapanthus.
But, to take the argument one step
further, (and I might be disclosing
more than is wise), let me
confess that we would, if we could exhume
our African sun, consider replacing the
garden’s fuchsine splendor with poinsettia.
Their petals you see (although
they aren’t actually petals), flap like
giant lips.
Please don’t tell the fuchsia though, what we miss,
that we hanker after lost piercings
of scarlet blue, as they too can turn away their glance,
and, as you know, they too would rather dance
than kiss.
FROM THE OLD SCHOOL
We are seeds
dispersed, borne
on wind current and wave,
ejected with pessimistic ease
from long pods.
We left parent
trees dropping iris on
the old school,
as we floated and flew
to new loam.
We are grafted
now, into composites,
hybrids half-happy,
uncomfortable in the wet
island wind ; and
We raise seeds
ourselves now, in settled rhythm,
sending up sap in the spring,
hiding root-hunger
and hurt in the soil.
We are flowers
as well, unfurling and spilling
iris-blue, softening asphalt
and fields, the way
jacarandas do.
SIX
Sevenths
COW
Watch a cow
eat. She bends perpetually
over mud-green
grass, but spurns, like
cooked carrot, unpalatable dock.
Watch for long
enough, and she will
move/chew/move - without
ever looking up – without
ever taking stock.
Watch for longer
still, and you will notice
her herd turn toy, turn
alloy, turn boy milk; turn
hands off the clock.
CRACK ~~~~~~~ CRACK
The earth is splitting like a fig
fat in autumn after gust-storm,
and fissures like fig
down to raw-pink flesh.
4Wax-eyes are too heavy
to fly
and humans too splintered
to flee
filling black.
Even the atom unhinges
and prepares to attack:
Crack ~~~~~~ Crack
4 Small fruit-eating birds in Australasia
BLAKE’S WORM
The dark rose is eaten out
and 5’The invisible worm’ turns
on autumn cabbage leaves,
pulling and pushing like Quasimodo,
masticating, methodically devouring,
leaving a picked sole
frame, and a little spittle from
his pitiless, never-kissed mouth.
5 ‘The invisible worm’ is a quote from William Blake’s poem
‘The Sick Rose’.
INTERFACE
Listen to the yellow
Owl, yellow after
Waking, eager to be
Eating, mating,
Waiting for the dark
To see.
Listen to the cello,