Old Habits

by Tabatha Kiss

  I step away from the table. “Okay, sounds good.”

  Will grins. “Thanks, Natalie.”

  “You’re welcome, Will.” She smiles back and swings to the other end of the table to get started.

  “Got everything?” Will asks me.

  I check my pockets, feeling into my jacket for my wallet. “Yes,” I answer.

  “Good.” He glances over my shoulder at Natalie with sly eyes. “So, what was that about a quickie?”

  “Slow down, Will,” I tease. “Just because we are in high school again doesn’t mean it has to be like high school again.”

  “Oof!” He winces with amusement. “Well played, Ross.”

  I start walking toward the side doors. “Besides, I’d rather get my stuff before Hank gets home. It’ll be simpler that way.”

  “No, you’re right.” He throws his arm around my neck and pulls me in to kiss my cheek. “I like to take my time anyway.”

  “Oh, I know…”

  “Getting grosser.”

  We turn back to look at Natalie’s shaking head and I stick out my tongue at her as we exit outside.

  Chapter 30

  Will

  Hank Ross’ house is like a time capsule.

  Not that I spent much time here to begin with. Jovie always insisted on meeting me outside instead of me coming to the door. Hank’s hatred of me aside, I think she was just embarrassed about where she came from. I honestly never asked.

  It’s a small house, about twice as small as mine and I live by myself. The cramped living room is barely large enough for the couch and chair that sits inside. The kitchen hasn’t been upgraded in at least two decades. An entire house locked in time.

  I follow Jovie to her bedroom, my eyes instantly rising to the set of photos lining the short hallway wall. Newborn baby Jovie. Teething Jovie. Second birthday Jovie. Dimpled cheeks and little brown eyes.

  I pause on the last one. Toddler Jovie sitting on her mother’s lap in what’s obviously a hospital bed.

  Joanne. I stare at her cheekbones and the way her smile curls to one side, just like Jovie’s does. She holds a picture book with cartoon dinosaurs in front of them, keeping little Jovie occupied. IV tubes stick out the back of her hand and a red bandanna sits loosely on her head.

  “Will.”

  I pull my eyes away to glance at Jovie, admiring the similar structure and beauty in their faces.

  “Come on.” She taps her nail against the door. “I don’t have much. It won’t take long.”

  I point to the picture. “You look just like her.”

  “So I hear.”

  She ducks back inside her room and I know not to bring it up again.

  As I enter the room, Jovie yanks two old suitcases out from under the bed and lays them open on top. “Okay, so, it’s mostly just clothing,” she says.

  I scan the walls. They’re a faded pink color, no doubt left over from when this was her nursery. It’s covered up now by various posters and photos of cities and places around the world Jovie always talked about going to.

  Jovie retreats into her closet and starts sifting through the hangers.

  I walk to the dresser in the corner. “Anything from here?” I ask.

  “Everything in the top drawer.”

  I slide it open and smirk at the multi-colored delicates hidden inside. “Oh, yeah.”

  “Stop it.” She chuckles. “Don’t even know if it all fits anymore.”

  “Well, can I watch you test them out?” I joke.

  “Sure.”

  I snatch up as many panties and bras as I can in my hands and drop them into an open suitcase.

  “You know,” I say, “I’d be more than happy to lend you some money to—”

  “No.”

  “—buy some new clothes.”

  Jovie exhales as she carries out a stack of shirts. “I don’t want to rely on anybody for this. I’ll save up and buy them myself.”

  “It’s not a problem.”

  “You’ve done enough, Will. I’ve already compromised my morals on my car repairs and the rent situation.”

  “Jove—”

  “Just let me have this.” She pushes her hands downward with flat palms as if to put an end to the conversation.

  I nod. “Okay. I respect your boundaries.”

  “Thank you.”

  “What about the books?” I ask, pointing to the shelf.

  Jovie pauses and bites her lip. “No.”

  “CDs?”

  “No.”

  “Okay, maybe point out the stuff you do want, then.”

  She glances around and shrugs. “It’s weird.”

  “What is?”

  “I don’t know. Spend a few years without it and you realize just how much you don’t need it.”

  I smirk. “You talking about the stuff or me?”

  She blinks. “The stuff.”

  “I know. I was just kidding.” I grab another fistful of underwear to toss inside the case, slowly realizing that Jovie hasn’t stop staring at me. “What?” I ask.

  She drifts closer, never once taking her eyes off mine. “Will, I don’t want you to ever think that I don’t need you. That might sound strange, given the circumstances, but…” she shakes her head, “there wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t think…”

  Her voice fades and her face falls as she takes a step back.

  “We should hurry,” she says, turning toward the closet again.

  I stand still, immersed in the moment with her. One brick from a great wall just crumbled to pieces in front of me and it was more beautiful than I could have imagined.

  Jovie’s blank slate is starting to fill in. If I don’t encourage it, she may erase it and I’ll never see that look in her eyes again.

  I move silently toward her and she slouches in shame but I nudge her chin up to make her look at me. I hold her close, gently wrapping my arms around her and staring down into the same little, brown eyes as those photos.

  Jovie smiles, so subtle and quick that it’s barely even there at all. But I saw it. It was meant for me, after all.

  I lay a kiss on the tip of her nose and she rests her head on my chest. Her hair tickles my senses and I inhale a deep breath as her hands latch together behind my back.

  After a few seconds, she squeezes tighter and buries her face in me a little bit more.

  Given the circumstances, it does sound strange. I spent years thinking that Jovie was done with me. That she didn’t need me. But I was wrong.

  Jovie turns her head up and I kiss her.

  “Let’s go home,” I say.

  She smiles again and nods as she releases her hold on me. “I’ll come back some other time for the rest of it,” she says. “Fill a few boxes and sell it off. Or give it away. Good karma can only help me right now…”

  I step back to give her space.

  She carries another stack of clothes from the closet and dumps it into the overflowing cases.

  “I think that’s it for these,” I say. I fold it closed, fighting with a few long sleeves poking out the sides before latching it.

  Jovie zips the other one closed. “I’ll take another quick look around and meet you outside.”

  I nod and grab both by the handles. “All right.”

  “Will…”

  I pause by the door as she walks over to me. She cups my face, drawing me down for another soft and slow kiss.

  “Thank you,” she tells me.

  My heart skips against my ribs. I say nothing, flashing only the quick smirk that I know she loves, as I step out to head for the front door.

  I walk out to her car, letting the grin take over my face, as the dull roar of a pick-up truck rolls into the driveway beside me.

  Hank’s black pick-up truck.

  I straighten up and drop the smile as I pop the trunk to set the suitcases inside.

  He parks and hops down with a six-pack of beer in one hand, sneering at me beneath his trimmed mustache. “William,” he says
.

  I close the trunk. “Hey, Hank.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Just helping Jovie pack some things.”

  He scoffs. “Yeah, I heard my daughter got engaged… from a stranger at the gas station.”

  Dammit, Jove.

  “Yeah, sorry about that,” I say. “It was a pretty sudden thing.”

  “What’d you do? Knock her up again?”

  I blink. “No…”

  He grunts as he continues toward the front door. “Well, either way, she’s your problem now. Good luck to ya.”

  “Yeah.” I stare past him. “Later, Hank.”

  His feet stomp up the porch and I watch the awkward moment as Jovie passes by him through the front door.

  “Hey…” she says with a few pairs of old shoes dangling from her fingertips.

  Hank says nothing. He gives her a nod and closes the door behind him.

  Jovie picks up her pace toward me. “Yikes. Did you talk to him?” she asks, wincing.

  “Yeah.”

  “What’d he say?”

  I force a breath as I realize I stopped breathing. “Not much.”

  She pauses on my face. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” I clear my throat, “I’m fine.”

  Her smile returns and she kisses my cheek. “Then, let’s go home.”

  I look into those little, brown eyes again as a chill creeps up my spine.

  I nod. “Let’s go home.”

  Chapter 31

  Will

  It’s Valentine’s Day.

  There’s been a buzz in the air all day long, one so strong that it even infected the manly grease monkeys of Marv’s Auto Repair. Talk of suit rentals and dinner reservations before the big dance plagued every conversation between oil changes and tire rotations. I can’t remember the last time the town was this excited for it and here I am, obsessing over one little word that fell from Hank Ross’ mouth two days ago.

  He said again.

  I pace our living room alone, nervously adjusting the cuffs on my suit. Our. The home I now share with Jovie Ross. It’s the life I’ve imagined since the day I bought it, to be honest. We wake up together. Brush our teeth together. Hop in the shower and fool around before work together. One solid step forward to building the future I always wanted with her. Love. Marriage.

  A family.

  “Okay, I think I’m ready…”

  Jovie steps out of the hallway and my breath catches in my throat.

  She wears a red dress. The flared skirt sits just above her ankles, high enough to show off the shiny, silver heels on her feet. Thick straps keep it tied off behind her neck with ribbons trailing down her back. She’s showing cleavage but not enough to cause a fuss. Her hair tumbles over her shoulders in quick, perfect wisps. Elegant but still wild. Still my Jovie.

  “Do I look okay?” she asks nervously.

  I say nothing.

  “What?” Her face falls downward to check herself. “Okay. Wait. What’s wrong with it?”

  “No. There’s you…” I inhale. “Jovie, you’re breathtaking.”

  “Oh.” Her lips twitch. “Why didn’t you just say that? Why’d you make it weird?”

  “Because there was a lack of breath-taking happening and I couldn’t.”

  “Oh…” She grins. “I can work with that.”

  My feet move me toward her on their own and she raises her arms to wrap around my neck. I rest my hands on her waist, drawn to her like magnets, and she tenses slightly.

  “Just, be careful,” she warns. “The tag is flipped up in there somewhere. I need to return it later this week.”

  I shake my head. “Keep it.”

  “Will, do you have any idea how expensive this thing is? I’m pretty sure your parents charge less for tooth extractions.”

  “I don’t care.” I lean in closer to kiss her neck, instantly catching a whiff of her perfect perfume. “I suddenly have very naughty plans for you tonight and this dress might become a casualty.”

  She chuckles as I tickle her earlobe. “Well, if sugar daddy wants to spoil me…”

  “He does.”

  “Then, I’ll send you the bill.”

  “Good girl.” I cup her face and kiss her, enjoying the soft purse of her lips against mine. She shudders as I run my fingers down her bare arms. “As long as you don’t mind compromising your morals one last time…”

  She hums in pleasure. “It’s Valentine’s Day. I’ll make an exception.”

  We kiss again and I pull her in to feel her body against mine. Blood spurs through my groin, awakening a deep need and I’m tempted to bend her over right here and now.

  Jovie pulls away and playfully taps my cheek. “All right. Let’s get this over with.”

  I flex my jaw, holding back my urges as my eyes drift down her red dress again.

  She turns away but I reach out to yank her back to me.

  I crush my lips on hers, inhaling as much of her as I can until my lungs tremble in my chest.

  “Will.” She chuckles. “Come on. Now, I have to check my lipstick.”

  “It’s worth it.”

  She straightens her arms, locking me at length before slipping from my grasp. “Behave,” she scolds as she retreats into the bedroom. “Or else, you won’t get your gift.”

  “I told you, Jove,” I say, wiping a bit of red color off the edge of my mouth. “You are my gift this year.”

  “Oh, good.” She returns with her wallet in hand. “I don’t have to give you all those blowjobs, then.”

  I reach into my pocket to pull out the rectangular box hidden inside. “Oh, you’ll want to after you see this.”

  Her eyes fall to my extended hand and she scoffs. “And what is that now?”

  “Open it.”

  “Will, come on, you didn’t have to—” She snaps it open and gasps. “Holy tyrannosaurus!”

  I grin at the childish glee on her face. “Does that mean you like it?”

  She pulls the necklace out and the tiny, silver, dinosaur skull dangles from her fingers. “It’s so cool!” She takes a closer look, smiling wide. “And fancy!”

  “May I?” I lay out my hand and she drops it into my palm. She turns around for me and raises her hair out of the way. “I saw this and instantly thought of you,” I say, laying it around her neck.

  “When?” she asks.

  I clasp it behind her. “About a week ago,” I answer, leaning in to kiss her neck once before she drops her hair back down. “Spin around. Let me see it.”

  Jovie turns toward me and I admire the sterling replica of bones lying in the hollow of her throat. Sharp teeth and a dangerous snout. So utterly Jovie.

  “And it matches my shoes,” she says, still grinning. “Double win.”

  She rushes into the hallway toward the bathroom to find the nearest mirror and my mind wanders away again without the beautiful distraction owning my attention.

  He said again.

  It could have meant nothing. Just a quick slip of the tongue.

  Or…

  Jovie walks back in, heading straight toward me with bright, happy cheeks. “I love it so much, Will. Thank you.”

  She lays a kiss on the edge of my mouth, bringing me right back to her. Her left hand entwines with mine and my chest tingles as I feel that ring on her finger.

  “Okay,” she says. “Now, let’s get this over with.”

  I swallow the urge to ask questions back down into the depths of my guts, just as I’ve done a hundred times since she came home. I promised I wouldn’t ask and I intend to keep that. Not until she starts to let me in again.

  There’s that word again.

  Fuck.

  Chapter 32

  Jovie

  We walk into the high school and I hold my breath.

  The earth trembles with the sound of thumping drums, piano keys, and brass. Either that or tiny earthquakes have taken hold of my nerves and refuse to let go.

  Music echoes down the hallway f
rom the gym and I feel my stride shorten with each step.

  Will notices and slows down to hook his arm around mine. It soothes me but as we pass through the beaded curtain into the gymnasium, I close my eyes.

  Two hours ago, this place was empty. Tables lined the walls with pure white tablecloths. Red and blue cups stacked near a mountain of ice and fruit punch. Buckets of chocolate kisses. Patriotic decorations around a dance floor. Peaceful, quiet, and perfect. A real feather in the party planning committee’s cap.

  But none of that will matter to those who despise me.

  And they’re all probably here.

  “Hi, Jovie!”

  I open my eyes on Natalie’s smiling face. She holds a cigarette box in her arms, hanging around her neck with a thick strap wrapped. Her halter dress is white with a blue sash wrapped around her waist. A blonde-haired, blue-eyed bombshell of the World War II era.

  “Hey…” I greet.

  “Oh, my gosh! You look gorgeous!” She stares at my dress and slaps Will in the arm. “And you. Very handsome.”

  “Thank you,” he says. “You look like you’re having fun.”

  She raises her voice to combat the music. “I haven’t had this much fun in ages!”

  I scan the room over her shoulder. Nearly three-hundred said they’d show up and by my estimation, about half of them have so far. Most people shimmy around the dance floor, limbs flailing wildly to keep up with the music’s quick beat.

  I gulp.

  “Well, I have to keep mingling or Sara will scold me,” Natalie says, raising her box to Will. “Candy cigarette?”

  He grins and snatches a tiny carton from inside. “Don’t mind if I do.”

  She twists around and walks in the other direction, squeezing back into the crowd from whence she came.

  Will pinches a candy stick between his lips and swings out in front of me. “Now, see here, madam,” he says, his voice tainted with an old city accent. “How’s about we turn that frown into an O…”

  I snatch the wobbling cigarette from his mouth. “Don’t do that.”

  “Jovie…” He tilts his head in amusement. “What’s wrong?”