by C. J. Anaya
And why should that pain me so when I loved another? Because in the end, I believed our relationship to mean more than this. I was suddenly extremely grateful I hadn’t shared my other secrets concerning my involvement with the rebels. Forget locking me in my room. If Katsu knew the truth, he might very well force me to leave, not just Kagami, but the whole of Japan.
He strode out of the room angry yet determined, completely ignoring the servants who entered to lay out breakfast for the morning. He had his own agenda to attend to, but I had come too far to accept defeat by shoving aside mine. I still had work to do.
With a sinking heart, I realized I hadn’t had a chance to warn him of my father’s threats to his safety. It was imperative that I inform Katsu of the existence of a weapon from the underworld in my father’s possession. I raced to the door and wrenched it open, fully intending to follow Katsu and warn him of the danger, but Yao placed a hand on my shoulder to stop me.
“Princess, Katsu has ordered that we are not to let you leave your rooms.” He appeared pained at this admission, yet I understood the fine line he and Chan walked. They would help me to make my meetings with Akane and Musubi, but they also had to make it look as if they followed orders from Katsu as well.
I gave Yao a smile to communicate my understanding and took a step back. Lowering my voice, I said, “Katsu is in grave danger. My father has somehow managed to obtain a weapon from the underworld and is threatening to use it against Katsu if I don’t comply with his wishes.”” Yao and Chan widened their eyes at this, the only perceptible reaction to my alarming announcement. “If I am not allowed to leave my rooms to warn him, then I must ask that you send an anonymous message if you can manage it. Something to keep him on his guard and abreast of the danger to his person.””
Yao and Chan placed a fist to their chests and bowed from the waist. “We will take care of it, Princess,” Chan whispered.
I returned the bow and then entered my room, closing the door softly behind me. There was nothing to do now but chafe at my imprisonment until my next meeting with Akane and Musubi.
* * *
Arriving at my planned meeting the following night proved a more difficult task to accomplish due to my current incarceration. I was forced to sneak out of my window—disguised in some of Saigo’s clothing——much later than planned when extra guards were sent to my door to keep tabs on me, courtesy of Katsu. This was no doubt a reaction to the warning of the danger to his person.
It amused me that a threat to the warrior god’s existence would induce him to bulk up my own protection. Though he remained upset with my actions, his top priority would always be The Healer’s safety. A deep sense of guilt engulfed me as I climbed out my window, considering my continued deceptions and secretive behavior.
I brushed these distracting thoughts aside, reminding myself that my subterfuge was for a good cause. Even now the information I intended to impart with Akane and Musubi concerning the gold shipment would be invaluable in forcing my father’s hand and drawing him out of the palace, making him an easier target for capture and imprisonment.
Upon my arrival at the ruins of Yanbaru, I found Akane pacing back and forth, clearly agitated. I scanned the area for Musubi, but failed to locate him. My heart sank in despair. My brazen advances during our last session together must have put him off. What if he refused to train me after all? I cast the horrifying thought aside, forcing myself to stop jumping to conclusions.
Akane turned at my approach and let out a relieved sigh.
“I thought the very worst when you failed to arrive on time. Dozens of scenarios of what might have prevented you from coming played through my mind over and over again. Considering what happened with Daiki and Hatsumi, I wondered if your father had injured you again.”
I gave her a quizzical look.
“Yao managed to get a message to me yesterday.” She reached over to give me a hug, which I eagerly accepted. “How are they, by the way?””
I explained to her their circumstances and the danger they were now in because of me. “Katsu is going to oversee their flight from Kagami.”
She stewed on that for a moment. “It is interesting that he would risk his immortality for Daiki and his family. Your betrothed must genuinely care for you.”
I gave a half-hearted shrug, reviewing the most recent conversation with Katsu and the way he had pulled rank, so to speak. “I think he holds some regard for me as a human being, but he is strictly devoted to The Healer.”
Akane’s eyes narrowed. “And how do you feel about your betrothed?”
“I know I am not in love with him, but I had thought for some time that we were becoming dear friends. The secrets he has discovered have ruined any trust he may have had in me. I fear I have hurt him and will most likely continue to do so, though I know he doesn’t deserve such treatment.”” I spread my arms wide as if to ask, “What other choice do I have?” My hands were tied in so many ways, and the lies continued to pile one on top of the other. “I cannot abandon this path I am on, and the sooner my father is removed from the throne, the sooner the empire of Kagami can begin to heal.”
“I know it is difficult to keep secrets from the people we love and care about. I’m exhausted when I consider the way Musubi will react when he discovers everything we have kept from him, but it is necessary for the time being, Mikomi.”” She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “I promise you when the time is right we will be able to reveal all of these secrets. You won’t have to carry this burden much longer.””
“Do you ever have doubts about the path you have chosen, Akane?”
She took on a reflective expression. “I’m not one to second guess myself. It is blatantly obvious that the emperor is a cancerous presence, poisoning the empire and destroying the citizens within it. I cannot for the life of me understand why our First Parents have not interceded on our behalf. How could this misery and suffering be part of their plan?”
I considered her question and thought back to something Katsu had revealed to me. “I think we are meant to make our own choices in this life, and the consequences must play out their course. I too have often questioned why terrible tragedies happen to the greatest and the most undeserving of us without any interference from gods who claim to have our best interests at heart, but I believe we might resent our First Parents if they took those choices and those consequences away. We are left to govern ourselves, and when tyrannical forces rise against us it is our choice to either cower in defeat or band together and fight.”
“I’ve never been one to back down from a fight.”
“And I’ve never been one to cower in defeat.”
Akane’s grim smile of approval showed me she understood. This fight for a noble cause with an important, life-altering outcome on the line bonded us together more thoroughly than anything ever would. It was the camaraderie of fellow soldiers intent on gaining freedom and justice no matter how unattainable the victory might be.
She put her arm around me. “Tell me, dear friend, what information have you discovered?”
I imparted all that I recently gathered concerning the arrival of the gold shipment, falling into silence afterward as thoughts and plans began forming in that brilliant mind of hers.
“This is perfect, Mikomi. I cannot thank you enough for acquiring this information when your ki has remained in such a weakened state.” She placed her hands on my shoulders. “Was it too much for you to bear? Did you suffer any pain?”
The smile I plastered across my face was bright and reassuring. I didn’t want her to know what I had sacrificed in order to retrieve that information. There was no way to go back and undo the past, but what this meant for the future would determine if Akane still wanted me to fight with her.
Her eyebrows narrowed. The flickering torchlight cast shadows across her worried face.
“Mikomi, what happened? What did you do?”
“I…” I had to swallow hard in order to gain my composure. “The
only way to summon enough energy to connect with his ki was to prevent my own ki from trying to heal itself. In the process, I somehow managed to push my ki so far within myself, that I have absolutely no access to it.”
“You sense nothing?”
“Nothing. I don’t know that I can be of any further value to you. I can no longer heal your men, nor can I connect with my father’s soldiers in order to absorb their memories.”” The realization that I had become nothing more than a useless girl in a war that required my own personal gifts and expertise in order to ensure victory horrified me.
“Katsu is still unable to heal you himself?” Her concerned expression became more pronounced as I shook my head. I decided to tell her the truth on that front.
“Kenji has told me that Katsu cannot heal me because his spirit doesn’t recognize mine.”
“I don’t understand. How could that possibly—”
“Katsu isn’t my soul mate.”
Akane looked shocked. “The warrior god foretold to join forces with The Healer isn’t, in reality, her soul mate?”
I shook my head.
“Then the prophecy is flawed, and merely proves what I have suspected all along.”
“And what is that?”
She turned her intense look on me and gave me a fierce smile.
“Our fate is in our own hands, there to be molded and shaped according to our own desires, hopes, and dreams. If Katsu is not your fate nor your future, then maybe you should decide what you want most in this life and fight for it.”
“I don’t know what I want—”
“Yes, you do.” She smiled. “You’ve known from the first moment you laid eyes upon Musubi.”
I stared in wonder at her keen insight and powerful words.
“You want to join the rebels, you want a cause worth fighting for, you want to protect your brother and Kenji, you want to save Kagami, but most of all, you want Musubi.”
“To love and be loved,” I whispered.
She nodded. “To love and be loved. Not because of your gifts or titles, but simply because you are Mikomi and he is Musubi.”
I felt tears filling my eyes. One lone tear made its way down the side of my cheek.
“Go home tonight and pack your things. When you are ready to join us, your guards can help you, Saigo, and Kenji escape the palace.”
“Tonight?”
“Are you interested in waiting for another meeting with your father?”
“What about the kami army he is planning on forming?”
“What of it? Without you and your gifts, his plans are simply that and nothing more. Have you not realized by now that you are the one with all of the power, Mikomi? You were never meant to play the pawn when you’ve always been the queen.””
I nodded, excitement swelling within my chest as I allowed the idea to take root and grow. I could do this. My father would have no power to threaten Katsu’s life, if I wasn’t present to hear it. I would leave tonight with the people I loved most, and do my best to actively fight against the emperor.
And I would be with Musubi.
Then my thoughts turned to another issue bent on plaguing my tired mind and spirit. “Akane, have you been able to discover where Aiko’s loyalties lie? Has she explained her reasons for conspiring with my father?”
Akane looked at the rubbled earth, taking an unnatural interest in the debris scattered before her.
“She vehemently denies her willingness to serve the emperor and refuses to expound upon her plea of innocence with anyone but you. I suppose I can understand her wish to plead her case to you, but her silence is more damning than any piece of evidence we might have discovered.”
“Have you...tortured her?”
“No. She isn’t violent, but she is being watched by two kami in a secluded area back at camp. The guards are ensuring that I am the only one she sees.”
I nodded, my heart torn between the love I felt for my dear maid and the likelihood of her betrayal. I’d lived my life willing to find the good in others. I had to believe there was a logical explanation for Aiko’s actions.
“When Saigo and I join you, I will have a long discussion with her, and hopefully we will be able to get to the bottom of this.”
Akane’s pained grimace mirrored her true sorrow at what she considered an eventual loss. Then an altogether different possibility occurred to me.
“Akane, my father recently blackmailed me with a threat against Katsu.”
She appeared sincerely puzzled by this.
“How could he threaten an immortal? He would have to possess…” Her eyes widened and her face paled. “Are you telling me he has in his possession……a weapon from the underworld?”
“He didn’t come outright and state it, but what else can he threaten Katsu’s life with? What if he used this very same threat against Aiko? It would make so much more sense for her to betray me under duress rather than willingly align herself with the emperor.”
“This definitely changes things, but we cannot be certain. I think it’s wise we continue to keep her isolated and watched until you can come discuss this new possibility with her. I wouldn’t recommend doing much talking, however. Give Aiko a chance to explain herself.” Akane rested a hand on my shoulder, a sudden desperation seizing her emotions. “We have to get that weapon away from him. He holds too many cards as it is. If you……Mikomi, do you have any idea where he might keep it hidden?”
“He has rooms I have absolutely no access to. The only place I can search is his study, but I guarantee you the weapon will not be there.”
“If that weapon were to fall into our hands we could end this conflict once and for all. We could kill the emperor.”
I wondered if there was something callous and unforgiving concerning my quick acceptance of the idea of murdering my father. In truth, the lives we saved would far outweigh the death of one destructive kami. I had to acknowledge to myself that if I uncovered the weapon’s location I would move heaven and earth to bring it to Akane.
Before I could delve into the matter further, I heard the thunderous gait of a horse in the distance, but couldn’t make out the rider due to the darkness of the evening.
Akane stood in front of me and drew her sword.
Musubi came into view in the faint torch light and rapidly dismounted. My disgruntled emotions settled upon his arrival, relieved that he was merely late rather than avoiding me. This first meeting might have been a bit stilted considering the way we left things the last time we were together, but with my empathic abilities I sensed severe agitation instead of any lingering awkwardness.
“Akane, we have to leave immediately.”
“What’s happening?” she asked.
“I ran into some trouble with an imperial patrol on my way here. There were more men than I could handle, and the ones I couldn’t dispatch have followed me. They’ll arrive any moment.”
I sucked in a terrified breath. My father’s men couldn’t discover me here. It would ruin all of our plans. No sooner did I finish that thought when the sound of galloping hooves and shouting could be heard in the distance.
Akane grabbed my arm and pulled me over to where Musubi stood. “Get her out of here.”
Without missing a beat he reached down for my arm and easily lifted me, placing me in front of him. I barely had a chance to regain my bearings before we were galloping out of the ruins and past a clearing, making our way into the forest. I heard heavy pounding behind us and feared we hadn’t gained much of a lead on my father’s soldiers.
The moon was just a sliver in the unforgiving darkness of night. Its luminescent glow stubbornly refused to give off more than a hint of light as if it were a spoiled child unwilling to share. I wasn’t sure how Musubi was able to guide his horse through the mottled roots, tree branches, and uneven terrain with so little light to guide him. All I saw were dark, monstrous shapes rising in the distance as spindly branches reached their fingers forward, eagerly pulling at our hair and cloth
ing. A whirring noise whizzed past my ear and something planted itself in a tree ahead with a threatening thunk. Musubi shifted behind me and urged the horse forward.
The pounding behind us drew closer and more arrows teased their way around us, promising to strike and embed their sharpened heads within our flesh at any moment. That promise was soon realized when Musubi cried out in pain and slumped slightly forward, resting his weight atop my back. His hands slackened in front of me, forcing me to grab the reins and continue the horse forward despite my immediate instinct to stop this insane death chase and heal him on the spot.
“Musubi,” I screamed. “How badly are you injured?”
He mumbled a response and leaned a little heavier upon my person, grabbing the reins from my hands and urging the horse to go faster.
“We are going to have to do something different than planned I’m afraid,” he gasped. His agony from the embedded arrow within his flesh caused me to grind my teeth and squeeze my legs against his horse. I’d never once healed Musubi, yet I experienced his physical reaction to his injury. I didn’t understand why this connection had occurred—my ki was completely out of reach—but the harrowing situation we found ourselves in prevented me from analyzing it further.
Before I had a chance to question him, he sank his heels into the side of the horse and urged it forward and to the left. The soldiers seemed to fall back for a moment, but our sudden lead couldn’t last long. Our horse was tiring, and Musubi’s wound drained him of his focus and energy. We traveled at our suicidal pace for several more minutes. I wasn’t sure what his plan entailed, but I hoped he would enact it soon.
A rushing noise gradually grew in volume as we moved forward. It took me a moment to place the familiar sound. The falls lay straight ahead. I recognized the river as the same one I had nearly fallen into several months ago during my desperate attempt to warn the camp about my father’s planned ambush. I hoped Musubi’s plan didn’t involve a late night swim.
We swiftly traveled along the bank of the river, and then we arrived upon a rocky knoll just above the base of an extremely wide waterfall. There was no possible chance we would get across the base without being thrown into the river by the sheer force of the falls. I began to worry about his state of mind. Surely he wouldn’t consider this a viable escape route.