by C. J. Anaya
The horse struggled to maintain its balance under our weight, skidding and sliding down the rocky incline. When we reached the base of the waterfall I prepared myself for the worst, especially when he guided the horse directly into the falls. Had his wound caused him some sort of delirium?
“Musubi,” I cried out just as the cascading, icy wetness engulfed us. I fully expected to be swept away to the bottom of the falls and then down the river’s brutal rapids. Instead, the water’s freezing torrent fell behind us, and we rode into the mouth of a darkened cave. My surprise made way to worry and fear. I couldn’t make out the size or length of it after plunging into darkness once the falls’ liquid curtain closed behind us.
Musubi’s grip on my waist loosened as he slid off the horse. He let out a sharp cry of pain when his body made contact with the cave’s floor. I did my best to dismount, but my wet clothing hindered my movements, and I ended up landing about as gracefully as Musubi. I groped my way to him on hands and knees and found his body resting on its side. I moved my hands over his back, a weak substitution for my eyes in the dense darkness. The arrow protruded from the lower right side of his back.
The moment I touched him I felt an electrical current rush to the very center of my being, lighting a spark within me and reviving my ki in the process. I sensed energy and power, and then I was immediately bombarded with warm colors of gold and amber light.
I felt as if his ki had engulfed me in a happy embrace, waiting for me to arrive and return such affection. I couldn’t help but allow these warm, vibrant colors to wash through me.
I didn’t understand how this was possible, but I wasn’t going to wait while Musubi suffered in order to unravel the mystery. Instead, I felt grateful that my ki no longer remained hidden in the background of my subconscious.
It wasn’t at full strength. I could still sense the damaged part of it, but I hoped it might be strong enough to aid Musubi.
I directed my attention to his injuries and found his liver to have been punctured. His blood loss alarmed me, and there was an odd bit of darkness surrounding his heart. It was old and aching, just like the pain and anger of his emotions. The darkness surrounding his heart fairly pulsed with bitter resentment.
I moved my hand next to the arrow, preparing to give his ki instructions on removing it when the arrow began shifting without my guidance. His body began to expel the arrow from the liver, muscle, and tissue. My experience with arrow wounds was extensive, and not one single patient had ever been capable of removing the arrow with their own ki. I waited as the intelligences within the tissue and muscle slowly dislodged the foreign object. I prepared myself to give Musubi’’s ki its healing instructions, but there seemed to be no need. The intelligences went about their business, mending tissue and muscle fibers, healing the liver, and replacing the blood loss.
Musubi was healing himself!
I’d never before met a human capable of anything like this. I suspected it was possible for a human to understand their ki and learn the process, but most didn’t possess such a heightened awareness of their mind, spirit, and body. It made me realize how very little I knew about this warrior. There wasn’t enough information at my disposal to allow me to connect the dots.
His body finished repairing itself, and I disconnected, feeling an awful sense of loss when that spark of energy and his welcoming ki were suddenly snuffed from my mind and body.
“Musubi,” I whispered, carefully shaking his shoulder.
He groaned slightly but didn’t regain consciousness. I decided it best to let him sleep. A healing was nothing to sniff at. I was accustomed to the kind of toll it took on my body, but I was only half mortal. For a human to accomplish what Musubi had would be far more debilitating. I suspected he would sleep through the rest of the night and most of the next day.
Truth be told, I was more than a little tired myself. I curled up in a ball next to Musubi and reveled in the warmth of his comforting presence.
* * *
I opened my eyelids slowly, allowing the filtered light sifting through the falling water to penetrate my aching eyelids. The cave was cool, but I felt warm and couldn’t account for the source of that warmth until I tried and failed to move my body. It was pinned down by a heavy arm, capturing me in a warm embrace. I moved my head to the right and bumped it against Musubi’s massive chest.
“Must you disturb my sleep?” he asked, tucking my head under his chin and snuggling me closer to his body.
Sleep? He couldn’t be serious. How on earth could he sleep with our bodies pressed against one another in such a familiar manner? Being held within his arms ensured that I would never feel the need to sleep again.
“Musubi,” I said. With a sharp tug I freed my left hand and placed it gently on his cheek as I let my thumb trace the outline of his high cheek bone.
His reaction to the contact took me completely by surprise. He swiftly grasped my chin and caught my lower lip with his mouth, teasing and tasting before kissing me fully on the lips. Our connection was instant and overwhelming. The warm colors bathed me in their light. I could hardly breathe for fear of losing this link to him. I happily returned his soft kisses with tender kisses of my own. He pulled away briefly, just long enough to say something...whisper something...that made my heart stutter, stop and then nearly break in two.
“Edana, please come back to me.”
My surprise was so complete that the link severed and I jolted back from the force of it. I quickly slid from Musubi’s arms, desperate to make sense of his cruel behavior. He reached out blindly, and for the first time I realized that his eyes were closed. He had been sleeping...dreaming...of someone other than myself. A woman named Edana.
Despite the pain I felt at being mistaken for a different woman, I knelt forward and grasped his outstretched hand. His frantic searching stopped and he relaxed again.
“Please, don’t leave me again, Edana. Never again.”
I felt a large tear run down my face and choked back a sob, forcing myself to say exactly what he needed to hear.
“Never again,” I whispered. “Never again.” And I meant it. I actually meant it. I wanted to ease his mind and lessen his pain, but in that moment I realized I had no desire to ever leave him again. I loved him terribly, and I would stand by him in any capacity he saw fit…friend, sister, student…it mattered very little at this point so long as I never left his side.
Musubi let out a contented sigh while I continued holding his hand, wanting to give him the emotional security he needed, but feeling hollow and empty inside. Edana must have been the woman he lost so long ago, and he was still holding onto the pain of it. It made me wonder if he would ever be willing to let that pain go and eventually love someone again.
Then a new thought set in: my duties and responsibilities as The Healer.
Denial had been my friend for quite some time, a tool I used to help me cope, as if I might have some kind of control over my future and the choices that loomed ahead. I’d wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend I could choose to be happy…that I could choose love.
Millions of people were depending on me to serve my purpose and protect this world we lived in. I had an obligation to find my true soul mate and fulfill the prophecy. Could I turn my back on millions of lives just to be close to a man who was in love with someone else? It was selfish, reckless, and unthinkable.
Why was I actually considering it?
It was no use. This idea of turning my back on my responsibilities. I couldn’t consider it any longer. I would join the rebels and defeat my father and his army, and then I would begin searching for my soul mate. I wearily positioned myself next to the man I loved, if only to remain close to him during the little time we had left.
Chapter Six
When I awoke some time later, Musubi was no longer next to me. I panicked, thinking something awful might have happened to him, and quickly stood, nearly running into the horse standing still and silent next to me. I patted his nec
k more to calm my nerves than his and tried to see through the gloom of the empty cave. The only source of light came from the rays of the sun glistening off the cascading water from the falls. It was a mystical kind of liquid barrier between this tiny safe haven and the world beyond.
I walked forward and let my hand gently graze the cool water, then I cupped it with both hands and washed my face and neck. There was a small space between the cave and the falling water to the right, so I followed that space, walking out of the cave, past the liquid shield and down a grassy winding path. I ventured forth into a small clearing and found Musubi sitting in the middle, shirtless, with his back to me. I immediately searched for the arrow wound from last night, but his skin looked smooth and unblemished. There wasn’t even the puckering of a fresh scar.
“Your wound has healed completely. How is that possible?” I asked. My voice carried softly across the meadow.
Musubi stood and turned, giving me a view of his nicely muscled chest. I suddenly wished I hadn’t asked him anything. This was the first time we’d had a moment alone after he denied having ever harbored any affection for me. I felt uncertain as to where we would go from here.
He looked as if he was about to say something, but then his eyes widened and fear flashed across his face. He hurriedly marched over to me and lifted my chin.
“Mikomi, the whites of your eyes remain blood red. Why is this injury still affecting you?” He began examining my head, softly running his fingers across the top of my scalp and gliding them down to the base of my neck. The sensations his fingers evoked prevented me from responding to his question. I finally stepped out of his reach and held my hands up.
“My body will make it right eventually, I’m sure.”
This information didn’t seem to ease his worry. He approached me again and lifted my chin.
“You will explain the circumstances surrounding your injury this time, and don’t you dare tell me you were ill. For the whites of your eyes to turn red like this a serious injury must have occurred first.”
“I believe the last time we spoke, I was very clear that I didn’t wish to discuss it.” I pulled away from his touch again. His close contact unnerved me. Unfortunately, my voice shook, and I was unable to maintain eye contact. It was difficult to keep things from a man whose carefully measured look caused my soul to feel naked and vulnerable.
I studied the ground, hoping he would drop the matter. He stepped toward me again and soon his bare feet came into view. I wondered where his shoes were and almost laughed at the ridiculously errant thought.
“Mikomi,” he said, lifting my chin again. I was surprised at the stormy look in his eyes. “Who did this to you?”
“No...no one.”
“You’re a terrible liar. I want to know who did this to you and how.”
“My father did this to me, but I can’t tell you how.”
He looked even more angered at my response.
“You can, and you will.”
“No, I will not. It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
“But it has everything to do with your safety, and your safety falls under my jurisdiction. Do you really think I’m going to train you to fight and defend yourself against the emperor’s men only turn a blind eye to your father’s abuse?”
His hands came to rest on my shoulders. I kept my eyes firmly glued to the grass between us.
“How many times has he hurt you?”
“I really think we should change the subject—”
“How many times, Mikomi? You’ll either tell me now or…” he wrapped his arms around me and drew me against his chest, ““…we remain like this for as long as it takes for you to trust me with your fear and your pain. I cannot teach you if you are not honest with me.”
I swallowed hard. It was such a struggle to steady my breathing with his arms around me.
“It’s happened all my life; too many times to give you an exact number, but I deal with it as best as I can and that’s all.””
“I won’t allow you to return to your home. From now on you will stay with the rebels.”
The words were sweet music to my ears, and only the night before I had vowed to never leave him again, but other factors weighed in, becoming clearer in the brightness of the noon day. Collecting Saigo and Kenji and joining the rebels would be nearly impossible once I returned home. By now, my absence had undoubtedly been noticed by Katsu, and once I returned there was no guarantee he would let me out of his sight again.
“Impossible. I have a brother at home that I am responsible for. He needs me, and I cannot leave until he is ready to go with me.”
“Then we will collect him together.”
“We can’t. It’s…I cannot explain to you the reasons, just know that it is safer for me to return home and leave with him when things have quieted down.”
Musubi’s anger blossomed; an emotion that always thrummed within him, but this time the thrumming grew into a snarling growl. It choked off all other feelings. He needed a distraction. A change of topic was certainly in order.
“Enough about my current situation, I must know how your wound healed so quickly. I know you were hit with an arrow.”
He released me and moved away, leaving me cold without his arms to warm me.
“I have always been quick to heal. I assure you it is nothing out of the ordinary amongst my family and friends.”
He had no desire to talk about the subject, and I decided to let it drop for now.
I couldn’t help but worry about Yao and Chan and how they were covering for my inexplicable absence. I needed to return to the palace as quickly as possible or a search party would be sent for me. Katsu was going to have a thousand questions.
“I really feel we should be getting back.”
“Not anxious to spend another glorious night with me, little healer?” He turned back to look at me.
I felt a slow blush blossom across my face. My discomfort was obvious considering the satisfied smirk he gave me. It was cruel, really. I had already played my hand and allowed him access to my heart. Any flirting or teasing from him now would only serve to hurt and confuse me.
“I have obligations and family waiting for me. I’m sure they’re all very worried, and no doubt searching for me.” Katsu would be combing every nook and cranny of the empire in an attempt to find me.
“Yes, about that…just which family of the higher classes do you belong to, and how have you managed to keep your involvement with us rebels a secret for the last few months? In other words, who is your father and when can I kill him for all of the beatings you’’ve suffered under his hand?”
His tone was conversational, but I knew it masked the tight anger coiled just beneath the surface. I wondered what it might take for that anger to uncoil and strike.
“You’ll understand then why I refuse to give up that information.”
“I see. Well, I’m afraid they must know something is terribly wrong by now, and as much as I would love to return you to your loving father, I’’m afraid leaving this area would be unwise.”
“What do you mean?”
“Mikomi, the emperor’s soldiers are no doubt combing the forest looking for us. Me, more specifically.”
“What makes you think the soldiers won’t find us here? Besides the cave behind the waterfall, this place isn’t exactly well hidden.””
“I have a...special talent for hiding myself and those I’m protecting.”
I puzzled at that. I was certain, even he couldn’t backtrack the way we had come to cover up his horse’s hoof prints.
“We remain here until I feel it is safe to contact Akane and safely retrieve your brother from your dwelling. I won’t let you go back to your home to suffer another beating, Mikomi.”
I hoped Akane had a plan for that. The last thing I wanted was for Musubi to deliver me to the gates of the palace. Cover destroyed, not to mention his neck on the chopping block.
“I do want to leave, but a few
things must fall into place beforehand. I’m sorry, but I must go back.”
Musubi grunted, looking as if he might press the matter further.
“You don’t even know if Akane has been captured,” I argued. “She may not have escaped before the guards arrived. We must depart now and discover what has happened to her.” The thought of my dear friend wounded and helpless was not something I wanted to contemplate.
“Akane is much more resilient than you could possibly imagine. In situations such as these, we know to meet up at a specific rendezvous point within two days. She’ll be awaiting our arrival. She will be fine,” he insisted as I opened my mouth to form another argument. “I am responsible for you, and I will not take you out of this area until I know it is safe to leave. Until then, I believe it would be a good idea for us to continue your training. Perhaps you will consider using what you have learned against your father in order to prevent his further injuring you.””
Trainings. Always the perfect distraction from whatever differences or heavy emotions existed between us.
I wanted to be honest with Musubi. I knew I could trust him with my secret, but it was an amazing thing to have someone know me as simply Mikomi and not The Healer. Would he treat me differently if he knew who I really was? Would he even be willing to continue on as my mentor? I couldn’t risk my training or the opportunity to be with Musubi. I just needed to spend a little more time as Mikomi.
“I want to cover a technique vital to your training,” he continued when I refused to respond to his comment.
“What technique is that?”
“Sight.” He stared at me, but said nothing after that. I thought he might give further instructions on his one-word answer, but he continued to stand there watching...waiting. I couldn’t seem to look away. Anytime I allowed myself the luxury of staring into those startling azure eyes of his, I usually found myself lost, submerged within their watery blue depths and reemerging with time lost. I came back to myself as my feet slipped out from underneath me, and I landed lightly on my back.