Big Stick

by R. C. Stephens

  “Oli, what are you doing?” Myles takes a step toward him. His voice is stern, almost like he knows what it is my brother is about to say.

  “I’m so sorry,” my brother begins, and his voice sounds broken as he stands in front of me soaking wet.

  “Oli, this is not the time or place, man. You’re drunk. She’s drunk. Just turn around and go into the house.” Myles’s voice is unyielding as he places a hand on Oli’s chest, almost like he’s trying to get my brother away from me.

  “What the hell is going on?” I look to Myles for answers. Something is very off right now, and I don’t know if it’s the alcohol intensifying my fear, but my blood turns cold.

  “Flynn, just listen to me. I have to confess.” Oli practically stutters when he speaks. “That night Mom and Dad were killed, it was me driving the car, not him.” He points to Myles.

  My breath hitches at his last words, and I gasp heavily, like the wind has been knocked out of me. I can’t stop looking between Myles and Oli, and the only thing I feel is the stench and burn of betrayal.

  I take a step back feeling like I’m falling, “That’s why you stayed away.” I look at Myles. It isn’t a question. “You lied to me and couldn’t look me in the eye.”

  My brother’s face falls. He looks like he’s too drunk to completely understand the repercussions of what he’s just done.

  Myles’s face scrunches up. “What? No.”

  “It’s true. We spent our childhood sharing our deepest, darkest secrets, and suddenly, lying to me was your secret. You didn’t trust that I could handle the truth. Didn’t you have faith in us? You were so fucking big on me sharing my every thought with you. Going on about how important it was to be open with each other.” My hands wave in the air in uncontrollable spurts.

  “I thought we moved past all this. I can’t believe you’ve been lying to me this whole time. What else are you lying about, Myles?” My chest squeezes so tight I can barely breathe.

  He takes a step toward me, “Tink…I–I…”

  “I’m out of here.” I whip my body around to leave. My head is spinning. I need to get away from this wild party and Myles. I can’t think straight. Sloane follows hot on my trail.

  “Flynn,” Myles calls out and comes running after me. “Oli was terrified. Your parents died. You were the only family he had. He didn’t want to lose you. He thought if you knew he was driving, you’d somehow look at him differently. You so much as admitted to me that looking at me brought you sadness. My face reminded you of what you lost,” he reminds me. I charge toward the front of the house. I can’t even look at him.

  “I didn’t want you to lose your brother. I know how attached you two have always been. Oli and I were victims, too.” His voice cracks. “We were all victims that night.”

  I finally stop walking as tears flood my vision. “That’s right. We were all victims. Oli is my brother. We were living together. The situation was hard enough to deal with without fabricating any lies.” A garbled laugh escapes me. “I’m such a fucking fool. It was the guilt eating away at you. You said you fought demons, but it was the lie, wasn’t it?”

  Myles deflates. “I thought I did what was best for everyone. Oli was so paranoid about driving, so worried about how you would look at him. He couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t allow him to carry that burden on his own.”

  “How self-righteous of you,” I snarl. This is too much. Emotions I don’t understand whip inside me like a storm wreaking havoc in its path. I don’t understand why Myles chose to protect my brother while losing me in the interim. It’s a pattern with him. When we were younger, he didn’t choose me, either. He chose my family. He chooses everyone but me.

  “You just don’t get it.” I pull away from him.

  “Tell me. Tell me what I don’t get,” he pleads.

  “I thought you saw me as an equal in this relationship.” My eyes well with tears. “I don’t need a prince to come save me. You were my fucking Peter Pan. We were a team,” I scream, aware that I’m on a rant. “I have to get out of here.” I wrap my arms around my waist, trying to make myself feel small and disappear. Myles tries to embrace me, but I stop him. “No! I need to get away from you. I need space. I can’t be in a relationship with a person who feels that it’s okay to lie to protect me. I need someone who has faith in me, faith in us. An equal partner.” He takes a step back like he’s lost his balance.

  I walk away, my stilettos clapping against the stone walkway. My body shivers from the cold.

  I reach the front drive and look off to the side where landscaping of thick bushes lines the driveway. The need to retch overwhelms me. The acrid taste of the alcohol burns up my throat and comes up anyway.

  Sloane hisses and curses as she gathers my hair in her fist.

  I straighten up, realizing Myles just witnessed my unraveling. I hate that he’s here, but I also see him in a different light. He isn’t the man I thought he was.

  “Come in and get some water.” His tone is soft and steady.

  I look to Sloane. “I need to get out of here.” It’s then I notice that she’s wet and shivering. “Go in the house. I’ll call an Uber,” I tell her.

  She eyes Myles who is standing a few feet away from us. “I’m not leaving you. Besides, we need to get our jackets.”

  My words come out shaky. “I’m ordering an Uber. Can you bring me my coat?” I don’t want to go back into the house. I’m light-headed. I need the fresh air.

  “You can come back to my place,” she offers.

  I nod. “Thank you.”

  I can barely focus long enough to use the Uber app as my mind reels and my heart breaks. Sloane lives in a small studio apartment with one bed. Heading home with her is better than facing Myles and Oli.

  “Tink, go wait in the house. This is ridiculous,” Myles urges.

  Sloane looks to me for a response. “Come with me to get the coats.”

  “Fine.” I can’t let her freeze.

  I stalk into the house to wait for the Uber. Sloane follows and goes to collect our coats.

  “We need to talk. Don’t leave,” Myles begs.

  “Where’s that backstabbing brother of mine?” I turn my head to look for him.

  “I think he’s puking. He drinks, but he usually doesn’t get that wasted. I think this whole thing has been eating away at him,” Myles explains, defending Oli again.

  “Shit! I wonder why that is?” I look at Myles, feeling so deceived. The Uber car pulls up to the end of the driveway. I return my attention back to Myles. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” I pull the front door open and leave. Deep down I know I’m running away because I need to protect my heart. This night reinforces my worries about things being perfect and the other shoe dropping. I was happy. I knew it couldn’t last.

  “Flynn, please,” he begs.

  I don’t turn around. I walk straight to the car. Sloane gets in behind me, and the driver pulls away. The only thing running through my mind is how in the hell did I ever allow myself to put my heart on the line like that?

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Myles

  Flynn leaves, and my world flips upside down.

  The night of the accident, my best friend lost his parents. The drunken driver T-boned our car. Oli’s parents got the brunt of the impact. There was no way to avoid the accident. Watching your life flash before your eyes is an experience. When it happened, it was Flynn’s face I saw, our future together, marrying her, having kids… Then I blacked out.

  There were moments when I thought I was dead, floating through some world between Earth and Heaven.

  When Oli and I got over the initial shock that we had made it out alive, our relief was astronomical until we saw the horrid vision in front of us. I wouldn’t wish anything like that on my worst enemy. I didn’t think Oli would walk away from that a sane man. He needed his sister in that moment. Having Flynn with him in New York and taking care of her saved his life. He was doing the job his parents wanted him to do. I
should have known the lie would backfire. I underestimated her ability to accept what happened. And she’s right—I felt fucking guilty for lying to her. It kept me awake at night. I stayed away from her, not knowing how to admit I had lied to her about something so important. She was my person, and after I lied to her face, I didn’t know how to live with that.

  I lost the people who taught me about love and family. I couldn’t find my bearings. My head was so messed up, and I lived with the regret of that lie for seven years. But it wasn’t my lie to confess, I convinced myself. It was Oli who had to come clean. But I should have told her. I tried telling her the first night we made love. I told myself that whatever happened, she needed to know before we made love, but then she hushed me, and I suddenly didn’t want to taint our perfect night with the memory of sadness.

  Now I may lose her forever. I just gained back her trust, her love. We weren’t strong enough to withstand this hardship.

  I walk back into the house because I need to check on Oli. If he is drunk enough to confess such an important truth in public, it means he’s not in his right mind. I pass Jamie with a bunny on his arm. “Hey, man! Have you seen Oli?”

  He points to the hall. “In the fucking bathroom. Man! Nils isn’t too happy about that shit.”

  “Sorry. I hope he didn’t put a damper on your birthday.”

  “Fuck no.” He grins down at the bunny on his arm.

  “Take care of him. It’s his birthday.” I wink at her.

  “Oh! I plan to,” she responds with a sultry voice and stars in her eyes.

  I knock on the bathroom door and hear Oli’s muffled voice. “Go the fuck away.”

  “Oli, it’s me,” I say, and I hear the lock turn. He opens the door on his knees and moves back to his spot hugging the toilet.

  “I fucked up, Myles. I didn’t have the balls to tell her sober. I fucked up,” he keeps muttering.

  “You did, my friend. I ain’t gonna lie. I hope you didn’t fuck things up for me, too, because she told me she needs space.” I don’t want to come down on him too much because this whole situation is sad, but fuck, I hope I didn’t lose the love of my life for a second time tonight.

  “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. He looks like he’s about to pass out.

  “Yeah,” I sigh. I know he didn’t mean to hurt either of us. Reality is, there’s no good way to reveal this secret. Not to Flynn, not after everything she’s been through.

  I step outside the bathroom to see if one of the guys can help me lift Oli, since he’s passed out on the toilet seat. At least he didn’t make too much of a mess. I spot Dave. “Hey, man, can you help me get this guy to a room?”

  Dave takes a peek into the bathroom and winces. Oli is only wearing a pair of wet boxer shorts. “Yeah, sure.” He sighs sympathetically. The team is made up of good people. That’s why I like playing with them. We have each other’s backs on and off the ice, which is nice, even though we aren’t close to everyone.

  Dave and I carry Oli up the stairs. The big ogre is wet and damn heavy, but we make it to the first bedroom and drop him on the bed.

  “Thanks, man.” I give Dave a fist bump.

  “Sure thing, Cap,” he replies. He heads out of the room. I hang around a while longer to make sure Oli’s okay. I sit on a chair by the window and text Flynn.

  Me: Just let me know that you’re safe.

  Flynn: I’m safe.

  It’s only two words, but they give me a spark of hope. I pray her response means something, because I can’t let her slip through my fingers again.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Flynn

  “Rise and shine, sunshine.” Sloane walks over to the couch holding a cup of orange juice over my head with a bright smile playing on her face. I never did get a chance to ask her what was really going on between her and Oli.

  With one eye open, I glare at her. I fell asleep on the couch as the sun was coming up, which means I got about an hour in. My body is achy, my mouth is dry, and my head is throbbing. I don’t want to move, but I have to get myself together and get to the office. I rub my temples.

  “What are you going to do for clothes?” Sloane whispers, which I appreciate because I don’t think I can handle more sound than that. I don’t understand how she’s so chipper after a night of drinking.

  “I don’t have a choice. I have to go back to Oli’s to get dressed.” I let out a heavy sigh because my brother is one of the last people I want to see right now, Myles being the other. It hurts to move as I sit up on the couch.

  What were the two of them thinking when they made up that lie? It’s like a fucking meteor has fallen out of the sky.

  I peel myself off the couch and stretch out my arms. My back is killing me as I saunter into the bathroom, desperately needing to pee. Sloane is lounging around in her PJs, since she doesn’t start work until much later.

  I splash some cold water on my face and quickly use my finger to brush my teeth. Then I put the dress from last night back on.

  I’m surprised she hasn’t even attempted to lecture me. She just offered me a place to stay and quiet time to think, and it was exactly what I needed.

  “Thanks for letting me crash.” I lean in and give her a hug.

  She gazes back at me sympathetically. “You look like you’re about to do the walk of shame,” she says, trying to brighten a very dark situation.

  My lips quirk sideways, and I look down to myself. I try to force a smile, but tears begin to flow instead. “I’m sorry,” I apologize, swiping at me eyes. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I swear something in this city makes me cry.” I stare up to the ceiling.

  Her tone turns serious. “Last night was intense. You don’t have to explain. I swear if it were me, I would’ve been a sobbing mess all night. You were quiet, which tells me you’re used to having to hide how you feel. That isn’t necessarily a good thing.” She frowns. “Trust me, I know.”

  Her words hit me hard. She’s right. After my parents died, I was living with Oli in New York. I had to come across as being okay because Oli was hovering over me all the time. It was as if he was waiting for me to break. I definitely had moments where I came close, but I persevered through the hard times…with his help. I’ve been treading water for so long, I’m actually exhausted. Maybe that’s what these tears are about.

  “You have a point.” I force a smile and blink away the tears.

  “I’m here to listen when you’re ready.”

  “Thanks.” I nod, looking down to my cell. “Shit! Gotta run. I can’t be late for work.” I’m thankful for my career right now because it pushes me forward.

  “Bye,” she calls as I run out the door.

  “Bye,” I answer.

  Alone in the Uber I try to figure out my next steps. I quickly check my phone to see at least twenty messages from Myles.

  Myles: Call me.

  Myles: We need to talk…

  Myles: Flynn…

  And so on. I don’t think we have anything to talk about. I can’t be with a man who feels like he needs to lie to protect me. I want an equal partner. I don’t think it’s so much to ask for, but then maybe it is.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Myles

  I haven’t slept. Thankfully we have the night off. I’ve sent Flynn at least a hundred text messages, and she hasn’t responded to one. I’m considering stopping by the firm, but I know ambushing her at work will just throw her off even more. She’s the type of person who needs time to process, anyway. I get my ass out of bed and throw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.

  I head to my coffeemaker and press the button to grind some fresh beans. I’m on autopilot when my front door flies open and Oli walks in looking like shit, but at least he looks showered and has on clean clothes.

  “Fuck, man. I can’t believe you left me at Nils last night.” He sounds irate. “Woke up with some chick sucking my cock.”

  I raise a brow. “And that’s upsetting to you?”

  He gives me
an awkward look then shakes his head, brushing off the comment.

  “You really fucked me over last night,” I remind him.

  He walks over to my couch and falls back, allowing his head to drop into the palms of his hands. “I fucked you over, I fucked me over. I fucked Flynn over. Damn, I’m not used to her around for those kinds of parties. He lifts his head and twists to look at me. “I’m really sorry.” He rubs his temples. “It’s been eating away at me these last couple of weeks.”

  I blow out some air. “Man, you’re an ass and a wimp. Your sister is fucking stronger than either of us have given her credit for. Now, how the fuck do we fix this shit?”

  Oli’s head drops between his shoulders, and he runs his fingers through his hair. “I’ll stop by her office today. Maybe take her to lunch,” he says.

  I pick up my cell phone to see if she’s responded to any of my messages. She hasn’t read one of them. I chuck my phone across the kitchen counter. “And what the fuck am I supposed to do? This is so fucked-up.”

  I need a workout. Exercise always helps me think. I head down to the gym on the main floor of the building. Thankfully it’s empty. I run on the treadmill and then do my usual weight training. An hour and a half later, I’m showered and dressed. It’s close to lunch time.

  I shoot Oli a text.

  Me: Mind if I take her out for lunch instead of you?

  A few minutes later he responds.

  Oli: No, man. Go ahead.

  It’s the least the fucker can do.

  I look up the address for Weldrick and Ross.

  …

  “Hi. I’m looking for Flynn Russell.” I lean on the counter and smile at the receptionist.

  She pulls her gaze from her computer, and when she looks up to me, she blushes.

  “Oh, wow! Myles Sanders.” She rises to her feet and places a palm on each of her cheeks. “Wow, I’m such a huge fan,” she says, practically gleaming. She presses her hand to her chest and then whispers. “I’m Maddy. We met that night you came to my boyfriend Matt’s apartment.”