Broken Rebel: A Lawless Kings Novel

by Sherilee Gray

  Then he started to get too close, tried to touch me.

  I gave his chest a shove. “Quit it, Scott.”

  “Come on, Rubes, you know you’ve been hanging out for a repeat.”

  I gave his chest another shove. “I really haven’t.” I’d been so wasted, I didn’t even remember our night together. Not something I was proud of.

  He came at me again, and no matter how many times I shoved him back, he wouldn’t leave me the hell alone. The guy was too fucked up to see how completely uninterested I was, to see any-damn-thing. The expression on his face said it all. Right then, he thought he was all things hot and sexy and I was going to be the lucky lady he slobbered all over.

  Still, I tried to get through to him. “We talked about this. That night was a huge mistake.” I gave him a harder shove. “Now back the hell off.”

  Scott gave me a lazy, sloppy smile and reached for my face.

  I veered out of the way, pushing it aside. I didn’t particularly want to drop him on his ass in the middle of the club and make a whole spectacle. Which meant my night out was over. Why couldn’t he be a normal human being? I wanted a friend, not whatever the hell this was. I was done being nice.

  I managed to hold him off until the end of the song, and during his next toilet break, I moved to the other side of the club, ditching him. I was not in the mood for his bullshit, not tonight. Screw that. I needed a cab, more than ready for home.

  I had my phone in my hand when I saw Neco walk in. I spotted him easily, mainly because he towered over pretty much everyone else.

  Shit.

  Honestly, I wasn’t even really surprised he was here. He always seemed to find me.

  I stayed where I was. I didn’t want deal with him tonight, especially after what happened between us. He was still standing by the door, scanning the room, the sweaty, grinding bodies, and somehow managed to home in on me. I had no idea how he did it, but he always managed to find me, no matter where I was, or how many people were in a room. A shiver slid down my neck, over my nipples, then lower. Stop it, Ruby.

  What the hell was wrong with me? I had a problem. Seriously.

  His eyes looked dark in this lighting. Black, intense, and they stayed on me, never leaving me once, as he made his way across the club.

  He didn’t stop until he was right in front of me. “I’ve been looking for you,” he said.

  I could barely hear him over the music, but I read his words on his lips. Don’t look at his lips. I shrugged, unable to form a coherent sentence when he was looking at me like that.

  “We need to . . .” he glanced around me, frowning. “Who are you here with?”

  I leaned toward him so he could hear me and forced myself to speak. “Scott, but he’s kinda tweaked and acting weird.” I started to babble, something I did when I was nervous. I was beyond that now. I was close to hurling. I hated to admit it, but I was already feeling fragile, something I hadn’t felt in a long time. But after that kiss between us, then him coming here, acting like it never happened . . . it hurt. If that’s how he wanted to play it, that’s how we’d play it. Talking about it was the last thing I wanted. “I don’t know what’s going on with him . . . anyway, I ditched him. He was being an octopus-hands, so I’m not really in a hurry to track him back down.”

  Silence.

  Shit, did I say that out loud? Good one, Ruby.

  “Scott’s kinda tweaked?” he rumbled.

  “Ah . . . yeah, kinda.”

  He cursed several times, loud and rough. “Let’s go.”

  “I’m fine.” I held up my phone. “I was about to call a cab.”

  “I’m taking you home.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I’ll get myself home.” I pushed away from the wall, but someone wrapped their hand around my wrist, pulling me to a stop . . .

  I spun around.

  Awesome.

  “There you are!” Scott yelled in my ear. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” Then he pressed in close, rubbing his erection against my hip. “Come back and dance with me.”

  “No. I’m going to . . .”

  A shadow moved over us, the red, green, and blue lights no longer flashing across Scott’s face. I tipped my head back and looked up at Neco. Could this night get any worse? I couldn’t think how.

  Neco looked pissed off—no, furious. “Take your fucking hand off her.”

  He was using that low, yet deceptively calm voice he often used on me. I’d dubbed it, the lesser, but still deadly, Calm Before the Storm. It basically meant if you didn’t comply, you were about to get a dose of Neco’s displeasure. Story of my damned life.

  I yanked my hand free of Scott’s hold. “Let’s just go,” I said, trying to defuse the situation. I didn’t want him to drive me home, but I didn’t want him to cause a scene either. “He doesn’t even know what day it is right now. Just leave it.”

  Neco’s eyes slid to me. “You want me to leave it?”

  I shrugged, trying to act like this was nothing, that having Scott giggle like an escapee from a lunatic asylum, while poking at my hip with his boner, was the norm. It wasn’t. Scott could be a dick, but lately, he was worse. “Yes.” Then tacked on, “Please?” Hoping like hell a little pleading might do the trick.

  I was wrong. Neco grabbed Scott by the front of his shirt and shook the shit out of him. “Don’t you ever lay a fucking hand on her again. Understand?”

  Scott blinked up at him, looking dazed and confused. Then he started giggling again.

  Fuck my life. Seriously.

  Neco shoved him away, and Scott landed on his ass. Ignoring him, Neco curled his hand around the back of my neck, and propelled me forward. I felt like a naughty school kid being marched to the principal’s office. It took all my strength not to spin on him and deliver a roundhouse kick that would drop the arrogant bastard to his knees. The crowd parted for us as Neco strode toward the door. No doubt his thunderous expression was what had people scattering like autumn leaves on a windy day.

  He led me to his Escalade, and yanked open the door. “Get in.”

  I turned to him, over this whole damn night. “I’m thinking you might want to rethink your tone.”

  His expression got darker, body carved from stone, but then surprised me by saying, “Please.”

  I climbed in, but I wasn’t celebrating. I may have won that battle, but I got the feeling I had a war ahead of me.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Ruby

  We arrived at my apartment, after an excruciatingly silent drive. Neco’s weird vibes had been rolling through the car since we got in and I hoped he’d drop me off then go. He didn’t, of course. He climbed out and followed me to the elevator.

  I knew why, but I wasn’t in any hurry to start this conversation.

  The doors slid shut behind us, and with him standing a little behind me, his eyes burning like lasers into the back of my head, I started to fidget.

  The silence was killing me, but what the hell could I say? “Sorry for living my own life, for finally moving on and not asking for your damned permission?”

  God. Why was he was standing so close? His scent had filled the small space and—I shivered—I was sure I could feel the heat radiating from his big body right through my clothes.

  I couldn’t take it another minute. “Look, Neco . . .” His fingers slid over my lower back suddenly, and I choked on my words . . .

  “You quit your job?” he growled.

  I turned to face him. “That’s exactly what I did.”

  “Why?”

  “You know why, and you know I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

  His hands went to his hips and his head dropped, shaking from side to side. He was quiet for what felt like forever, then finally, “Don’t do it, Ruby. I’m asking you again not to take that job.”

  When he looked up at me, what I saw had my belly dropping to my feet. “I have to.”

  His lips flattened. “If you’re doing this to punish me . . .”
/>
  “What?” My heart jumped in my chest. I was so fucking sick of this, sick of myself. Of these feelings that wouldn’t go away. Neco had been my Superman, and last night, when he tried to take back that kiss, he showed me how he really felt. He might want me, but he didn’t want to want me. My fantasy of him and me together was never going to happen, and now, he was going to try to get in the way of what I desperately wanted, again. Suddenly, I was—furious. Hurt. Broken.

  Done.

  Done holding it in. Pretending that I wasn’t feeling what I was feeling.

  My own anger rose higher, exploded past what was healthy, and mixed with the hurt hammering me, I just sort of . . . snapped, reacting in a way I never had before. I stepped closer to him, pressed my hand to his chest, and shoved . . . hard.

  He barely moved, so I did it again, with both hands this time.

  The elevator doors slid open. Neither one of us moved. Neco stood there, staring at me, green eyes shooting fire at me, through me.

  “I wouldn’t do that again if I were you,” he said, voice low, hard.

  The doors slid shut again.

  “No? Why the hell not?” I shoved him again, this time putting my body weight behind it.

  He grabbed my wrists suddenly and came at me, striding forward, forcing me back. His body collided with mine and I hit the wall behind me. Neco crowded in, teeth gritted.

  Right then, I didn’t give a shit. “Oh no, you’re pissed off at me . . . again,” I fired at him, sarcasm dripping from my voice. “Well, newsflash, I don’t give a shit.” I tried to yank my wrists from his hold but he didn’t let go.

  “Yeah, well, I’m sick of your shit, woman, sick to death of your fucking games. There are a fuck of a lot of other things I’d rather be doing tonight than chasing your ass around the city.”

  Taking that job with Harry was far from a game, neither was my decision to finally let Neco go. Yeah, I’d messed with him in the past, but not for some sick entertainment like he obviously believed. That he hadn’t worked it out, the truth behind all of this, that he thought I would play with him to amuse myself because I was bored, or some ridiculous attention seeker, hurt like hell. Why couldn’t he see? Why couldn’t he see me?

  “You chose to come after me. I was just fine.”

  “Didn’t look that way to me.”

  “That’s because you see what you choose to see.”

  “I see just fine,” he snarled.

  “What’s the real problem here? Did your need to interfere in my life get in the way of something tonight?” I said, my words fueled by pain and frustration. “Did you have plans to fuck your cop? Is that what has you so wound up, why you’re acting like such a giant asshole?”

  He scowled down at me, actually baring his teeth.

  “Good,” I yelled. His grip tightened and I hissed like a wild cat. “I hope I ruined your night.”

  “Ruby,” he gritted out.

  I yanked my wrists free and shoved at him again, but he grabbed my hands and shoved them over my head.

  “Don’t you fucking ‘Ruby’ me.” I struggled to get out of his hold but his fingers were like iron manacles.

  “That’s why you did this? Quitting your job, threatening to work for Harry, just so you could get my attention?”

  I was breathing heavily, heart pounding, pulse racing. “No. I wanted to get the hell away from you. And I can assure you it’s no goddamn threat.”

  “Bullshit.”

  I held his hard stare, refusing to look away. “I’m done with this. I’m sure as hell done with you.”

  “Bullshit,” he said again, head dipping lower.

  His mouth was only an inch from mine and I could smell his minty toothpaste mixed with the soap or deodorant he used. It was dark and intoxicating. I squirmed and he held me tighter.

  “You think you want a piece of me, baby girl?”

  Oh God. My eyes dropped, locked on his throat, trying to get my shit together, suddenly struggling to breathe.

  He pressed into me deeper. “You must want it pretty fucking bad since you’re willing to lie to get it. Send me running in circles, like some asshole you can manipulate? Well, maybe it’s time I fucking gave it to you.” He ground into me.

  He was hard. Holy shit. I stilled, and forced my eyes back up to his. I knew I looked like a deer in headlights, because that’s how I felt.

  “You think you can handle me, Ruby?”

  His voice damn near vibrated with rage, and when I looked at him properly, I could see all traces of control had vanished. The Neco I knew and loved was gone. I didn’t really know this one. This is the side he refused to show me. This was the Neco that had worked for Tomas Mendoza, a crime boss from our old neighborhood. The Neco that had come to be after all the awful shit he’d done for that asshole, before he got out and started working for Hunter and Van. The one he’d always tried to shield me from.

  Neco stared back at me. “Nothing to say all of a sudden?” he said, voice cold, low.

  I shook my head. “I’m done talking.” Then I leaned in, so close my mouth brushed his, trying to force him to retreat.

  A rough sound broke past his lips, full of frustration and anger and . . . something else I couldn’t name.

  I thought he was about to step back and let me go again, but he shook his head, eyes darkening.

  “Me too. Time I gave you what you want.” Then he slammed his mouth down on mine, growling against my lips, kissing me . . . hard.

  Keeping hold of my wrists with one hand, he dropped the other to my ass and hauled me higher against the elevator wall, pressing me into it. His lips parted over mine on a snarl and his tongue delved deep, spiking into my mouth. I started to tremble as lust shot through me, kissing him back just as hard. His kiss was rough, hungry, wild, and my head started to spin out of control. I dug my nails into his shoulders, thighs tightening around his hips, arching against him, against the hard flesh digging into me with enough force to cause pain. I wanted more. He started to grind against me, against my swollen clit, and I groaned against his lips, into his mouth.

  He tore his mouth from mine. “This what you wanted, baby girl?” He started sucking the skin along my jaw to my ear. “This what you wanted from me? Why you devote so many hours to fucking with me?”

  I had no answer for him, barely registered what he’d just said. Words, logical thought, had abandoned me. All I knew was Neco was kissing me again, that I’d die if he stopped.

  If he moved back a fraction, I could reach his zipper, slide it down, free that huge, hot, hard flesh pressing into me. I could drop to my knees in front of him . . .

  “Or is screwing with my head enough to get you off?”

  The anger in his voice penetrated, hit like a bucket of ice water being dumped over my head. He wasn’t kissing me anymore; he was looking down at me, breathing hard, ice forming over the heat in his eyes. I was breathing hard, too, my lungs squeezing tighter the longer I looked into that hard, unflinching stare.

  “You say you’re done with me,” he growled. “Baby, we will never be done.”

  “Okay, so how about you tell me what the hell you want from me, Neco? After this.” I held his stare. “What happens next?”

  He flinched, like he’d suddenly come back to himself, like he’d come back from wherever he’d gone just now. His mouth worked while he tried to find the words, hesitating, too long.

  Instead of answering, he lowered me to my feet, his hands slipping away from my overheated body, giving me an answer without words.

  And I got it, loud and clear. I stepped back, putting distance between us, then hit the button to open the elevator doors.

  He watched me, arms crossed over his monster chest, jaw tight, eyes searching mine. Finally, he said, “I’m not your Superman, Ruby. I’m not even close. I’m not that boy, and you’re not that girl, not anymore. We can’t do this.” He cursed. “This has to be over.”

  I just stared at him, shock rocketing through me like I’d just suffe
red a head-on collision.

  His eyes dropped to my belly and he gritted his teeth. My shirt had been pushed higher when he had me against the wall, exposing some skin. I shoved it down, humiliation slapping me in the face with force. I opened my mouth, but nothing would come out. He meant it; he meant every word. Oh God.

  I straightened my spine. So done with this, with it all. “You’re right. This does have to be over.” I looked up at him, let him see I meant every word. “I’ll give you what you want. And you . . . you stay the hell away from me.”

  Then I spun and ran from the elevator, ran to my apartment. He’d kissed me, and what? He wanted me to think it meant nothing to him? That after all we’d been through together, that he could use my feelings for him, a kiss, to teach me a lesson, and I wouldn’t see right thought it? He wouldn’t give in to what was so obviously between us, fine, I got that loud and clear. But the punishment didn’t fit the crime.

  My Neco would never intentionally hurt me. He could lie to himself all he wanted, but he couldn’t lie to me.

  But no matter how much I wanted him, I couldn’t force him to take a chance on us.

  So, for once I agreed with him, no matter how much it hurt.

  It was over.

  * * *

  Neco

  Who knew it was possible to miss someone’s eyes? It sounded fucked up, even in my own head. But I did. I missed Ruby’s. The color, the shape. The way I felt when they were on me.

  She’d come in to pick up some things she’d left at the office this morning, so she had everything she needed for her new fucking job, and she still wouldn’t look at me. Three days had passed since I acted like a giant asshole and delivered words I knew would create the most damage. It worked. I’d hurt her. I’d pushed her as hard and as far as I was capable.

  Letting her walk away had damn near killed me. But I did it for her, to protect her. I had to keep telling myself that. Ruby came first always.

  Jesus, I could still taste her.

  And now I was sure she hated my guts.