Bullets & Bonfires

by Autumn Jones Lake

  Vince hated Chad, and I hadn’t been impressed with him either. But deep down where I refused to acknowledge it, I knew I didn’t like him because I was jealous. That, more than anything, pisses me off. Maybe if I’d been thinking with my brain instead of my dick and my ego, I would have seen what was happening and done something to protect Bree.

  Maybe if I hadn’t made her feel like shit about herself, she would’ve come to me for help when Chad started hurting her.

  The thought makes me sick.

  And while I’m busy mentally flogging myself, why didn’t I tell Vince to back off that night? Was doing the honorable thing—respecting my best friend’s wishes—really worth throwing away my chance to be with Bree?

  Seems pretty stupid in hindsight.

  I’d been caught off guard that night. Mesmerized by the moonlight shining on Bree’s skin. Slightly embarrassed because she had more courage than I did to admit how she felt. Excited by the words she whispered in my ear. Lost in her drugging kisses and soft warm body.

  Completely disoriented when Vince grabbed me by the back of my neck and yanked me away from Bree. She’d jumped in between us and they’d shared some ugly words. To keep the peace, I’d shrugged off our encounter as a lapse in judgment. Played down the kiss that meant everything.

  Would I have ruined my friendship with Vince if I’d told him how I really felt? Would I have slipped a ring on Bree’s finger by now?

  Glancing up, I find Bree staring at me. A pretty flush colors her cheeks, marred by the bruises trailing from her left eye.

  “What are you thinking about?” she asks.

  “You.” It’s almost on the tip of my tongue to spill it all to her. How much I regret my cowardice that night.

  But that’s not what she needs right now. Her being home isn’t some second chance for me. It’s not about me at all.

  It’s about her. This time I’ll do what’s right for her.

  She holds my gaze for a brief second before pushing out of her seat and grabbing the plates.

  “You don’t have to do that. I’ll take care of it after you go to bed.”

  She pauses, then turns. “Are you planning to stay over?”

  Well, this is awkward.

  Maybe she wants her space and some time alone. But I’m not comfortable leaving her by herself. Staying together in this house probably isn’t my brightest idea, but I swore to Vince I’d take care of his sister and I’m not about to dodge that duty. Nothing could drag me away from her, even if this arrangement tests every single bit of my boundaries and willpower.

  “Yeah, I promised Vince I’d look after you until he gets home.”

  A flash of anger crosses her face. Brief, but I still catch it. Little Bree always had an independent streak too wide for her own good.

  “Thanks.” Her jaw’s so tight, she doesn’t sound very thankful.

  “Is that okay with you?”

  “It’s fine.” She returns to the dishes. “It’ll be nice not to be alone,” she says so softly I almost don’t hear her over the rushing water.

  I stand, unsure of what to do. Finally, I come up behind her and gently place my hands on her shoulders. “You’re not alone.”

  She dips her head. “Thank you.”

  “Go on. Find a movie or something for us to watch. I’ll finish the dishes.”

  This time she doesn’t argue with me, she ghosts out of the kitchen and a few minutes later the television blares to life.

  When we were kids, I relished teasing the hell out of her, riling her up, and watching her stomp off. Now? I want to comfort her and do anything to make her smile.

  So far I’m not doing a very good job.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Liam’s little attempts to make me feel better during dinner had their intended effect. I can almost forget about the horror-show my life’s become. Until I see Liam’s jaw clench every time he looks at me.

  I’m disgusted with myself for being so needy. For almost crying in relief when he said he was staying over.

  Liam scans my outfit when he joins me in the living room. “You changed.”

  Self-conscious in one of Vince’s over-sized shirts, I tuck my knees up underneath it and curl into the corner of the couch, placing my head on the overstuffed arm. “I’m tired.”

  “You want to go to bed?”

  “Not yet.”

  I should. I haven’t slept more than a few hours in days. Up late packing before Chad came home from a bachelor party weekend away with his buddies. Worrying about his reaction when I told him we were done had kept me up the rest of the night. After regaining consciousness, my two nights in the hospital hadn’t been restful. Every time I dropped off, someone came in the room to question me or poke me with a needle.

  For the first time in days, I just relax and drift. The television creates nice background noise that drowns out the constant ringing in my head. I’m aware of the couch dipping. Of my feet resting up against Liam’s warm leg. The hesitant way he places his hand over my foot and gently rubs his thumb over the tops of my toes.

  “Mmm…that tickles.”

  “Sorry.” He stops the restless movement and slides his hand to my ankle.

  Feeling safe and secure, I finally allow the warm, black cover of sleep to envelope me.

  Curled up like a kitten, Bree finally drifts off to sleep. Her phone buzzes and I reach over to grab it off the end table before it wakes her.

  Big Bro.

  “Hey,” I answer in a hushed voice. A glance at Bree shows she hasn’t moved. Her breathing’s still deep and even. Gently moving her feet from my lap to the couch, I stand and move to the kitchen.

  “Why’re you answering her phone?”

  “She’s sleeping.” I almost add jackass, because I don’t appreciate his tone. He asked me to watch his sister, I’m doing it, and now he’s slinging attitude at me.

  “You’re staying there?”

  “Yes, you asked me to. Remember?” I answer with a healthy dose of slow sarcasm.

  “Tell me that motherfucker’s still in jail.”

  “They’re supposed to give me a head’s up if he’s released. His brother’s been harassing her though. Sending texts and shit.”

  “Jesus Christ.”

  “I’ve got it handled.”

  “Thank you.” He hesitates before asking, “How is she?”

  “Somber,” I blurt out the first word that pops in my head. “Still got that feisty streak, though. She’ll be fine.”

  “Just…keep her away from him. She wants to visit him or drop the charges or something stupid, tell her no.”

  “Christ, Vince, she’s not a fuckin’ kid. She’s smarter than that. Besides, I can’t exactly order her around like she’s a five-year-old.”

  “Sure you can. Someone obviously needs to.”

  That attitude’s more likely to push Bree away than make her bend to her brother’s wishes. Instead of pointing that out, I grunt something that sounds similar to agreement.

  “It’ll be good for her to be around a real man,” he says.

  I guess that’s supposed to be a compliment.

  “Have her call me tomorrow.”

  “Will do,” I promise before hanging up.

  “Thank you,” Bree says from behind me.

  I turn and find her watching me, eyes still drowsy with sleep. “Did I wake you?”

  “No.” She lets out a brief yawn and lowers her gaze. “Thank you for defending me. What’s he worried about? That I’ll drop the charges and go running back to Chad?”

  I’m not sure how to answer, since, yeah, that’s exactly what her brother thinks.

  She takes my silence for a yes. “Of course he does. That’s what my mom did with my dad all the time.”

  Their father was out of the picture by the time I met them, but I remember their mother’s penchant for picking up seedy boyfriends and bringing them home. It’s one of the reasons Vince and Bree ended up staying over at my house so frequently when they wer
e kids.

  “Do you think that too?”

  “No,” I answer quickly. Although the thought had crossed my mind. Because of what I’ve seen on the job, not because of Bree.

  “Thank you.”

  “Come on, why don’t you go to bed. Get some sleep.”

  She glances at the bedroom and shakes her head. “I’m not sleepy anymore.”

  That turns out to be a lie. A few minutes after we’re back on the couch, she conks out. “Bree?” She looks so uncomfortable all scrunched up in the corner. “Bree, come on, let’s put you to bed.”

  As I slip my arms under her body and lift her off the couch, she lets out a whimper. Once I have her in my arms, she settles down and I carry her into the bedroom. Only the weak light from the kitchen provides any illumination. I’m careful navigating over the rugs and kick Bree’s bags out of the way, worried I’ll trip and drop her.

  Once she’s tucked in, I stop and watch her for a few minutes. The peaceful expression transforms to anxiety. Short, scared cries fall from her lips. Each one breaks me a little more. “Liam?” she whispers.

  “I’m here.”

  “Don’t leave me. Please.”

  Shit. I run my hand through my hair. This is a bad idea. So wrong.

  But I crawl into bed with her anyway. Wrap my arms around her soft, warm body and pull her against me. Bury my nose in her long hair and breathe deep. Thankful she’s here in my arms and she’s okay.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  I swear I only planned to stay with Bree until I was sure she wouldn’t have any more nightmares. Bad plan. I’d ended up falling asleep myself.

  Pale sunlight filters through the curtains, reminding me that I’m in my best friend’s room. In his bed. With his sister. Not quite sure how I’d explain this if he came home right now.

  Nor would I be able to explain the morning wood nestled against Bree’s ass. While my brain knows she’s not ready for a relationship, my body’s clearly decided to disregard the memo. I’ve wanted to wake up this way for years. Thought it would never happen. But now that it has, it’s the wrong fucking time to do anything about it.

  I push her hair off her cheek and watch her sleep for a few minutes. Her warm breath fanning over my arm and the slight rise and fall of her chest doesn’t make the situation in my shorts any less critical.

  Carefully, I untangle myself from Bree without waking her and head for the bathroom. I need one long, cold shower.

  Morning chill wakes me. Or maybe it’s the absence of Liam’s solid, warm body behind mine. Each time I woke up during the night, his presence assured me.

  I hate myself a little for needing that reassurance.

  The shower starts up both informing me of Liam’s location and notifying my bladder that I need to pee.

  Dammit.

  Squirming doesn’t make the feeling go away.

  Reluctantly I toss the covers back and stand.

  Tapping on the door gets me nothing, so I crack it open. “Liam?”

  “Shit!” There’s a loud rattling and I assume I startled him and he bumped into the shower door.

  “Sorry.”

  “I thought you were asleep.”

  “I need to use the bathroom.”

  He doesn’t answer right away and I wish I could see him. Between the steam and the frosted shower door, he’s nothing more than a flesh-toned blur to me. “Go ahead.”

  I groan and cross my legs, trying to decide if I can wait. “Fuck it,” I mutter before hurrying over and yanking my shorts down. “Don’t look.”

  “I’m not looking.”

  “Don’t listen either.”

  He chuckles. “What?” A few seconds later he adds, “Are you still there?”

  “Don’t talk to me. Now I can’t go.”

  His rumbling laughter fills the room and I grit my teeth in frustration and humiliation. “You’re the one invading my shower,” he says. As if I’m not aware.

  “Yeah, well tell my brother while he was busy doing all these upgrades he should’ve added a second bathroom.”

  He doesn’t have a response for that except more laughter. I’m finally able to finish up and run out of the bathroom completely mortified.

  Feeling like an absolute creep, I can’t even take a normal breath until I hear the bathroom door click shut.

  Can’t a guy discreetly jerk-off in peace?

  Caught dick-in-hand, I was almost there. So close. Painfully aware I was using the lingering feeling of Bree snuggled up against my body to beat off to. Then she blew in here using sassy comments to cover her embarrassment, which only made me want her more. Now I’m stuck. My poor dick’s so confused. I mean, the woman we want was just in here. Now she’s not.

  Fuck if I didn’t come recklessly close to inviting Bree into the shower.

  My body’s on edge, in case something interrupts the slow build again. It takes more than the length of a normal shower to finish. And when I finally do, I don’t feel any less wound up.

  When I finally join her in the kitchen, she won’t meet my eyes. Christ, did she hear me and figure out what I was up to in there?

  “Everything okay?” I ask in a neutral tone.

  “Sure, I pee in front of my friends all the time.”

  Oh, that. I can’t help laughing. Her eyes blaze with indignation. “It’s not funny,” she insists.

  “I’m pretty sure you’ve done it before. When we were camping or something.”

  “That’s different.”

  “I’m sorry. Next time I’ll wake you up and ask if you need to use the facilities before I take a shower.”

  The corners of her mouth twitch and she ducks her head to hide her laughter.

  I can’t talk her into eating more than a bowl of cereal for breakfast, but at least it’s something.

  “What are your plans today?” I ask.

  She groans. “I have to go down to Empire and give another statement.”

  “Okay. I’ll go with you.”

  Her eyes widen and she shakes her head. “No, Liam. I can’t—”

  “Can’t what?”

  “Come on, I know it’s the Empire police not the Sheriff’s department, but don’t you guys all know each other?”

  Not getting her point, I just lift my shoulders. “I know a few guys down there.” Spent about an hour conversing with the investigator assigned to her case yesterday too. But that’s something I won’t share with her right now.

  “I’m sure cops gossip.”

  I snort because, yes that’s true. “Still don’t understand your point.”

  She blows out a frustrated breath. “You don’t want guys you work with knowing you know someone like me.”

  Blood rushes through my ears and I sit up, unsure I heard her correctly. “Wait, what?”

  “I don’t want to embarrass you.”

  “Embarrass me?” I reach over and slide my hand over hers. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “What if people see you with me?” She touches her cheek. “And someone thinks you did this?”

  All I want to do is wrap my arms around her. Bree’s always been sensitive. And while I’m glad her piece-of-shit boyfriend didn’t destroy her sweetness, right now, it’s killing me.

  “I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks, Bree. I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you or have anyone know you’re my friend, and I’m sure as fuck not letting you go down there by yourself.”

  She blinks a few times. “Wow, I hope you don’t kiss your mother with that mouth.”

  Even though she’s teasing me, the relief in her eyes makes me think I might have gotten through to her. “Go on. Get ready. Truck’s pulling out of here in twenty minutes.”

  “Twenty minutes? I need more time than that. And we can take my car. I’ll drive.”

  I almost open my mouth and remind her of our little traffic stop yesterday. Thankfully, I catch myself before the words come out. “I don’t think I can fit in your car, Bree. My knees will be under my chin.”r />
  “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t think about…I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine.” I come dangerously close to patting her ass. Jesus, this is bad. “Go get ready,” I urge, patting her back instead.

  She wasn’t kidding about needing time to get ready. Maybe forty-five minutes later she emerges from the bathroom and I freeze. My gaze skims over her bare shoulders and down to her long legs then back up, taking in every inch of the light greenish-blue dress that makes her blue eyes seem even brighter. It’s a bit sweet and a bit sexy, just like Bree. “Is that what you’re wearing?”

  Too busy staring at the fitted top and the gentle way the dress hugs her curves before flaring at the hips—I miss the change in her demeanor. “Excuse me?”

  When I meet her eyes, they’re snapping fire. “Liam,” she says, clearly forcing some patience into her voice. “I spent four years with a guy who was constantly telling me what I could and couldn’t wear—”

  “Shit, Bree. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. You look beautiful. That’s a pretty color on you.” Now I feel like an ass and figure I better attempt to explain myself. I lift my hands in the air and curl them into fists, thinking about what she said about her ex. “I know how some of the guys act down there. I don’t want to get in any fights if someone says something inappropriate to you.”

  Her forehead wrinkles. “Why would you get into a fight over me?” she asks. This isn’t a flirtatious game she’s playing, she genuinely doesn’t get it.

  “I—” Admitting that I don’t want any of the horny fucking cops I know eye-fondling her or asking for her phone number feels like revealing too much. “You’re like my little sister, Bree. Can’t have guys whistling at you and stuff.”

  Lie, lie, lie. I don’t have a brotherly feeling in my body toward Bree at the moment.

  CHAPTER SIX

  “You’re like my little sister.”

  Ouch, that hurt.

  It shouldn’t. It’s not like I don’t know Liam has no romantic interest in me. I’m not exactly girlfriend material at the moment anyway. I guess I should be thankful to count him as a friend.