A Homecoming to Forget

by Emily Camp

  When my phone buzzed, I nearly fell off my bed.

  It was a text from Nadia, Hey.

  I wished I knew her better. It would have been nice to have someone I could talk to.

  Wait … she was making an effort, maybe I could too. I tugged at my uncomfortable bra. I really needed a new one … that was it. I responded with Do you want to go shopping?

  A half-hour later we were standing in front of a rack of bras. Nadia hummed along with the loud music as she pulled items off the rack and held them up to her chest. However, these were not the ones I was thinking, these bras had the lace and the wires and all that stuff that I didn’t want in mine.

  “I’m going to look over here.” I shouted over the song.

  “Huh?” Nadia flipped her dark hair over her shoulder.

  I didn’t bother repeating myself, I just pointed and went to the rack of sports bras. I wasn’t even sure what size I would wear.

  “Can I help you find anything?” the worker asked me.

  “Um … I need some bras.”

  “What size?”

  “I don’t know.” I said, because I didn’t. I hadn’t even looked at the inside of mine to see.

  “Have you been here before?”

  I didn’t know this either, but judging by Nadia’s excitement, I probably had? “I think so.”

  “We might have a card on file, what’s your name?”

  I looked over at Nadia.

  “What about this?” Nadia wiggled her eyebrows as she twirled a thong around on her finger. Ambrosia rolled her eyes and looked away. I couldn’t figure out what her problem was. It wasn’t like we didn’t help her pick something out for her first time with that college guy she was dating.

  I gasped.

  “Miss? Are you okay?” The worker asked.

  I ran over to Nadia and tugged on her arm which had a pile of bras and panties draped over it. “I remembered something.”

  “You did?” She squealed and hugged me, jumping up and down like her favorite team just scored a touchdown. “What did you remember?”

  “We were here. Ambrosia was with us. Shopping for …” My face felt flush. “I think my first time? I remember Ambrosia being a bitch.”

  Nadia’s smile was forced now. “When isn’t she?”

  “Why are we friends with her?”

  “Because she’s one of us.”

  One of us? “Human?”

  Nadia laughed, “Hardly. I don’t know, she’s just … there and we put up with her. She can be okay sometimes … but others … enough about that, did you find anything?”

  Chapter 14

  I didn’t even want to think about what was going to happen when Trey came back next week. I’d spent every day with Henry. It was almost like it was last summer. Except he had a car and I was beginning to feel something for him.

  I stepped out of my house with a bounce, heading for my bike when I looked up, I froze. What was she doing here? I hadn’t heard from my mother in months, not since right before my dad married Janice.

  My mom had come in on one of her whirlwinds. We went to the lake, my dad and her, Henry and me. It was the end of summer. And everything was perfect. She’d stayed all night that night but was gone when I woke the next morning.

  Just a few months later my dad was dating Janice, and not long after that they were tying the knot. My mom didn’t have my dad on a string any longer. I wondered what she would do now. Would she stay and spend the day with me? Or would she run off into the wind like always.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “Sawyer, you’re so grown up,” she placed her hand on her baby bump. My face burned with jealousy.

  “That’s what happens when you don’t see someone for several months.”

  “I had some things going on.” She rubbed her stomach.

  “Obviously. Replacing us, right?”

  “It’s not like that.” Her chestnut hair blew in the breeze. “I knew you were busy with school …” she looked down the street.

  “I’m not that busy.”

  “Is your dad at work? Maybe we can go get something to eat.”

  “He’s married.”

  The look of shock on her face almost made me laugh. What did she think, he was just going to wait around forever? It’s obvious she hadn’t.

  “What about you,” she looked back at the curb where a taxi sat, “my treat.”

  “I’m busy.” I put my hands on the handlebars and straddled my bike.

  “What can be more important than your mother? Is it a boy?” She waggled her eyebrows.

  I gritted my teeth because that was exactly what she would be doing and because she was right. I could say no, it’s Henry. But that wouldn’t be completely the truth. The truth was, every day that I spent with Henry the more I wanted to be around him. It wasn’t like we were making up for lost time, it was like … he made me laugh more than Trey ever had and maybe I just needed a break from Henry to see just how much I needed him.

  “Not today.” I pedaled away just before the tears began to stream down my face. She wasn’t replacing us? Whatever. Was she going to leave the baby with its father like she did me? Or would she actually stick around for this one.

  I skidded into Henry’s yard, tossed my bike on the ground and scaled the treehouse without hesitation. Henry lay sprawled out on the floor, earbuds in his ears, eyes closed. His hands folded behind his head. His threadbare t-shirt rode up and exposed just a sliver of his tanned stomach. I watched him for a minute before he finally opened his eyes. He startled at first then smiled, then concern washed over his countenance. I guess I didn’t have my poker face on today.

  “Are you okay?” He hurried to his feet.

  I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I shook my head.

  Henry wrapped his arms around me. “Is it Trey? Did he hurt you?”

  “No,” I sniffed. “My mom.”

  And that was all I had to say, because just like me, Henry had a deadbeat parent. His dad who only showed up when he felt like it. Taking Henry to the races a couple of times a year sending birthday cards six months late and rarely remembering holidays.

  ***

  Henry scooped another spoonful of ice cream out of the tub. “Why can’t our parents be normal?”

  “Right?” I dipped my spoon in the gallon between us. Our backs against the wood wall. My bare feet straight out in front of me. I stared at my pink toe nails. “At least we can be thankful we each have one normal parent.” I slipped the spoonful of creamy chocolate in my mouth, at this point it was almost a milkshake. Ice cream didn’t last long in this heat.

  Our spoons clanged together as we both dipped for another bite. I looked at him and laughed. He smiled. There was a smudge of chocolate on his lip.

  “You have something.” I pointed to my mouth.

  He quirked his smile sideways. “So do you.”

  “I do not.” I swiped at my lip. “Where?”

  “Right …” He leaned toward me like he was going to wipe it off, then brought his other hand up, and smeared melted ice cream across my face.

  “You didn’t.” I gasped, using my t-shirt to clean my cheek.

  His laughter echoed off the treehouse walls.

  I wasn’t going to let him get away that easy. I reached for the tub, but he pulled it out of my way just out of my grasp. “You’ve always been slow.”

  He stood and held it above his head.

  “That’s not fair.” I stood on my tiptoes but couldn’t even begin to reach. “You’re like a giant.”

  “Remember when you used to think you were so cool because you were taller than me? Yeah, it’s payback time,” he smirked.

  “What?” I shrieked as the entire bucket of chocolate ice cream oozed down my head. “Oh no,” I lunged for him before he could get away, giggling the entire time. There was no way he was getting out of here clean.

  His deep laughter grew louder as he wrestled me off him and climbed on his feet again, but
he wasn’t without mess. I’d managed to cover him in chocolate goo as well.

  I stood, my arms out, trying to shake the muck off. “You’re lucky this isn’t my favorite shirt.”

  His eyes went to my top and paused for a second. I felt on display, but I liked it. The way Henry was looking at me. Then he seemed to realize that he was staring and hurried to look at my face, a smirk residing on his.

  Chapter 15

  I leaned back on my mattress and stared at my phone. It started to feel like I was a normal teenager with shopping and social media today.

  I thought about Trey’s note and my journal. That was it. I rose up, I needed to find my other journals. They’d have the answers I was looking for.

  I stood at the base of my closet looking up at the empty shelf, feeling defeated when the attic came to my mind. That was exactly where I would put a box of my things. I hurried down the hall, opened the door with a creak and barreled upstairs that used to be rickety wood, but now were carpeted and quiet. To my surprise the entire room was carpeted. I gaped around. Three years ago, this place was dank and dark, what you expected out of a regular attic, now it looked like it could be in a magazine. The walls were bright white with two desks that sat on one side of the room also on that side were filing cabinets and book shelves. The other side which was shorter than I remembered had a door in it. I held my breath as I opened the door, not knowing what I was going to find on the other side. There were boxes stacked high, I let out my breath. It was here. It had to be.

  I began to pull boxes down one by one, but they all were labeled, Dr. Montgomery or Janice. Some didn’t have names, just years, but when I opened them, they were just a bunch of papers belonging to my dad.

  “What are you doing?” Janice’s clipped voice made me drop the box, papers scattered everywhere.

  “I’m … uh …” I looked down at the mess I made.

  “These are your father’s and mine.” Her steps shook the ground as she marched toward the closet. She wore a red velvet sweat suit and her hair was up in a bun.

  “But I used to keep my things… here.” I pointed toward the scattered papers by my feet as if that would prove my point.

  “This is my office now.” Her face turned as red as her top.

  “I didn’t know.” My heart hammered, and I glanced at the stairs. Would someone hear if she tried to hurt me? “I’ll pick it up.” I bent down to gather the papers.

  “No,” her loud voice made me jump. I smelled the fermentation of wine on her breath as she knelt beside me. “You’ll just make it worse. Everything has a place.” She mumbled as she began shifting through the papers.

  I started to leave, but when I got to the top of the stairs, I turned and asked, “Where are my things now?”

  “In the storage building out back.” She clipped as she read the papers aloud between her glossy red lips before carefully placing them in the box with her long red finger nails. Red must be her favorite color. The color of blood. I was getting as far away from her as possible.

  Before I reached the bottom stairs, a loud boom of thunder clapped, nearly making me pee myself. I made it to the back door, stood there and stared. The rain pelted down on the glass. I might have braved the weather had there not been lightening. Another flash and crash then the lights went out.

  I grasped my phone in my hand. If I needed help, I could call someone. With the house now dark, the rain seemed louder. The wind howled.

  “Sawyer.” Her shrill voice called. I swallowed the lump in my throat at the thought of being alone with her. All the hair on my arms stood up. I wished my dad or Benji were here.

  I looked at the door and weighed my options. Hearing her footsteps getting closer with each click, I opted for the storage building, despite the storm. I really needed those journals and to get away from her.

  I opened the door and was met with a gust of wind. Cold rain stung my face, there was only one way to get there.

  Behind me, Janice shouted my name, but I didn’t listen. I took off into the storm, the fear energized me as the lightening crashed. Raindrops pelted me like little miniature paintballs stinging my skin. My feet sloshed in the puddles, soaking my flip flops which now were sliding all over the place. My sweats were wet to my knees. Finally, I reached the shed. The door swung open easily with the gust, but I couldn’t get it to shut behind me.

  From the house, over the storm Janice called my name. Did she not want me to find what I was looking for out here, and why? My shirt was soaked by the time I fought with the door and slammed it shut. I wasn’t sure this was much better than the storm coming in.

  The noise level was greatly reduced. Other than the occasional flash from the storm, there was no light in here. I suddenly regretted my decision, I shook my phone, thankful it was still dry. I’d had it tucked under my sleeve. My flashlight app popped on. It didn’t make matters any better. The dusty boxes, shadows, and spiderwebs just made me see everything I should be creeped out about. Not to mention, I was now soaked and shaking from the cold and the place smelled musty, but here I was.

  I took a deep breath and was going to find that box. I thought I heard something skitter. I tried not to think about what was occupying this space with me. Before I touched anything, I went across each box, shining the light on them, looking for my name. Random things like, Christmas, Benji sports, Benji baby were scrolled on them in dark marker. At least Janice was organized. Finally, there was one with my name. No detail beyond that, but it was mine.

  Just one problem, it was on the bottom of a stack. I looked for a place to prop my phone but didn’t see any. I opted for tucking it under my chin. Then I stood on my tiptoes and reached for the top box. It was heavy and I almost lost my balance, but my adrenaline must have been high because I got it. I sat the box behind me. Then I turned and reached for the next one when the door swung open.

  “Sawyer!” my dad yelled. I dropped my phone and it landed with a crash, my flashlight went out. However, my dad’s phone shone on me. I lifted my hand to shield the light from my eyes.

  “What on earth are you doing out here?” His deep voice louder than the storm.

  “Looking for my things.” I knelt to retrieve my phone.

  I do have to admit, he looked fairly intimidating standing tall in the doorway. I could only see the outline of him. If I didn’t know it was my dad, I’d thought he was going to kill me. “You can do that in the daytime, when we have power.” He reached for me. “What possessed you to come out here in this weather?”

  How did I tell my dad that his wife may have tried to kill me homecoming night?

  “You’re freezing.” My dad put his arm around me, turning me to the house.

  “But I …” I pointed to boxes.

  “I’ll have Benji get it later.” He pulled me away before I had a chance to argue.

  ***

  I sat on the sofa in dry clothes, an oversized sweatshirt and leggings. My damp hair pulled up in a bun. The hot chocolate between my hands did little to comfort me as I listened to my dad and Janice in the next room.

  “She needs help, Bill,” Janice said.

  “You know what the doctor said, there’s nothing we can do but wait,” he replied. I could tell by his voice he was irritated.

  “Get her in to see a therapist. Put her in the hospital for a little bit.”

  She was trying to get rid of me. If she couldn’t kill me, she’d put me away.

  “Are you implying I admit my daughter to a psych ward?” My dad’s voice rose at this, I didn’t know whether to be scared or feel loved at the fact he didn’t want me in one.

  “You’re a doctor, Bill, you should know this isn’t normal.”

  I’m not normal? I stared at the mantle above the fireplace. A picture of my dad in a suit, Janice in a dress, and Benji and I on either side of them. It had to be their wedding day. Did she know then that she was going to get rid of me eventually? Or was it over time that she grew to hate me?

  “She has amnesia.
She’s not psychotic,” he boomed like the thunder earlier.

  “Then why did she run outside in the middle of a storm,” Janice screeched.

  My hot chocolate was cold now and I sat it on the coffee table. A table that was bare but one single candle. Part of me hoped I irritated Janice’s OCD by leaving it there.

  “Mom,” Benji’s voice chimed in. I was relieved to hear him. Benji would stick up for me. “She doesn’t need sent away. I’ll help. I’ll spend more time here.”

  “What about your classes? You can’t be expected to babysit your seventeen-year-old step-sister,” Janice sighed.

  “Most of my classes are online this semester. She just needs us to be there for her, not send her away.”

  “Thank you, Benji,” my dad said. I could just imagine him giving Janice his ‘I told you so’ look with the smug smile and one eyebrow raised. A look I’d gotten several times when he told me not to do something, but I did it anyway and found out exactly why he told me not to.

  I heard Janice’s long calculated sigh, and then, “If something else happens, you need to at least get her into a therapist.”

  My dad walked in the room. He was still in his scrubs. Apparently, Janice had called him away from work. Good thing he wasn’t in surgery.

  I looked down at my phone, pretending like I hadn’t heard that entire conversation.

  “How you doing, cupcake?” It’d been forever since he called me that.

  “Okay.” I gave him a fake smile.

  The sofa dipped as he sat beside me. “You know you can talk to me.”

  I knew I could three years ago, but now with Janice in the picture, I wasn’t sure. I nodded my head anyway.

  “Then I expect you to tell me the next time something’s bothering you.” He kissed my forehead then got up. “I’ve got to get back to work, but if you need anything, call. You know I’ll make time for my little girl.”

  Chapter 16

  Brown water slid down the drain as I rinsed the last of the ice cream out of my hair. I thought about Henry, about that moment we shared. He almost kissed me. I would have kissed him back. Things are different than they were before.