His Winter Heart: Gay Romance

by Trina Solet

  "You know I love you," Wes told him. "I wouldn't have started this if I didn't."

  Colin looked shy now and hugged him. "I love you so much," he said sounding like he might cry.

  Wes held him tighter. He was a little teary eyed himself. Colin was so wonderful. Wes only wished he was good enough for him.

  Colin got up and looked down at him with shining eyes. "OK. You earned this," he said and left him to his work.

  Left alone, Wes wondered at himself. He hadn't expected to tell Colin he loved him so soon or so easily. But Colin expected it as his right and as a simple reflection of his own feelings.

  Wes's love for Colin had turned from something he was fighting to something that had taken root deep inside him. He breathed it, drank it, and ate himself alive because of it. But he couldn't let his doubts stop him from saying it. He craved Colin down to his bones, with a passion he didn't even know was inside him. As strong as his need was, he wanted Colin to know it was more than that. Since the day Wes met him, Colin had become everything to him.

  After hours of work, Wes was ready to go to bed. He wished he could have spent some time with Colin, maybe watching TV, but he had too much work to do. Now it was too late. Colin had already gone to bed. When he got to his bedroom, Wes found that Colin had gone to his bed.

  "You didn't expect me to sleep in my own bed, did you? Fat chance. Now climb in here and keep me warm," Colin told him.

  Wes just stood there for a minute. He felt as if he should definitely throw him out, but he just couldn't. God, he looked good there waiting for him, pulling back the covers and patting the mattress impatiently.

  "I guess we're sharing a bed now," Wes said.

  Chapter 15

  It was unlike him, but Colin waited for a little while before he bragged to his friends about him and Wes. He didn't want to jinx things. But once Wes said he loved him, he couldn't hold it in any more. Most of his friends congratulated him on a job well done. Colin knew not to expect anything like that from Tyson and Lau. As soon as he told them the good news, Tyson handed Lau a twenty.

  "What? You bet on me?" Colin asked indignantly.

  Lau corrected him. "I bet on you. Tyson bet against you."

  "What do you have to complain about?" Tyson asked Colin. "I'm the one who lost money."

  "Serves you right for betting against me," Colin told him.

  "Never bet against the pushy, obnoxious guy," Lau told Tyson and rubbed his head.

  "I am going to take that as the compliment that it is," Colin told them while they horsed around with each other.

  Becky was a lot more enthusiastic.

  "That's awesome! I knew you could do it!" she yelled and gave him a big hug. Then she ruined the moment. "Tim is going to kill him. Or they might kill each other. That Wes is pretty big. It's gonna be like watching a tiger fighting a bear."

  Colin realized that having friends was way overrated. Speaking of friends, Wes had some news for him when he got home ready to bitch about how some of his friends took the news.

  "Pete is in town for a while, and he'll be stopping by. We'll need to get some beer. Pete only drinks St. Pauli Girl. He fell in love with the girl on the label and never fell out of love with her."

  "Bigfoot in person. I can't wait," Colin said. So far, Wes refused to be paraded around in front of Colin's friends, but this was a step in the right direction.

  When Pete arrived he gave Wes a bear hug and then looked Colin up and down.

  "So this is what you reeled in, not bad, not that I am any judge," Pete said to Wes then shook Colin's hand.

  Pete was the more impressive sight. Really, the pictures didn't do him justice. His beard needed a trim or maybe just to be shaved off. His hair was overgrown and shaggy. His clothes were sloppy, and he had a beer belly that according to Wes was well deserved. He was friendly and at ease with himself and everyone else. Colin liked him already, but mostly he liked him for being Wes's friend and for sticking by him all these years. That's what Colin wanted to do. He wanted to stick to Wes like glue.

  "The drive was hell. Give me a beer," Pete said before he had his puffy jacket all the way off. "Love what you've done with the place." He said this to Colin. Basically, he was congratulating him on the mess. Wes's place just wasn't the same with Colin's stuff everywhere.

  "It's like a warm blooded human lives here," Colin said.

  "At least one," Pete said and looked at Wes. He saluted them both with the beer bottle before taking a long swallow.

  Colin asked him about why he was in town.

  "I'm here visiting the folks," Pete said. "I figured I drop in on this guy and see what he's been up to. My dad is having knee replacement surgery, and I'll be sticking around, helping out a little."

  "That's good of you," Colin told him.

  "Nah. I can work from anywhere so it's no big deal," Pete said modestly.

  While Wes was busy in the kitchen with the lasagna he had made for Pete, Colin wanted to pick his brain about their college days. "Was it weird for you to live with him?" Colin asked Pete.

  "I held my ground. If he said anything about me cleaning up, I'd just be all 'Mom? Who sneaked my mom in here?' College was my chance to turn myself into a living monument to slob and sloth. I wasn't going to let the Snowman or anyone ruin that for me."

  "I meant because he is gay," Colin said though after all that it seemed pointless to even mention it.

  "Oh, that." Pete shrugged. "How do you do it?"

  "Live with a gay guy?"

  "Live with a neat freak."

  "He's not so bad," Colin said and smiled at Wes who was suffering through their conversation with an impassive face.

  "That there is the sound of a guy in love," Pete said, talking to Wes and pointing at Colin. "Wes, man, make no mistake about it, living with you is hell."

  "I told you I was awesome," Colin said to Wes, who looked from him to Pete and sighed.

  "As you can see, he doesn't need any encouragement. Why are you cheerleading for him?" Wes asked Pete.

  "What kind of shitty friend would he be if he didn't want you to have a kick-ass boyfriend like me?" Colin jumped in to say.

  "Exactly my thinking," Pete said to Colin. "Wes here is a good guy. He works hard, OK, too hard. I figure he deserves a young boyfriend with lots of energy and enthusiasm to work off the stress. One day I hope to follow in his footsteps. I want a cute, enthusiastic young girlfriend always grinding in my lap so I can't get any work done."

  "How do you know I do that?" Colin asked, surprised that Wes would tell him that.

  "I didn't, and now that I do, I'm a little freaked out," Pete said. That did sound more like the tightlipped Wes Colin knew and adored.

  "Well that girlfriend stuff freaked me out too," Colin shot back.

  "Then we're even," Pete said and raised his beer to him.

  "You two get along too well," Wes said while pretending not to be happy about it.

  Since he knew Pete did some kind of technical work too, Colin asked him what he did.

  "Oh, it's totally cool," Pete said and then he went on and explained what he did, and it totally wasn't cool. At least Wes knew his work was boring and that no one wanted to hear about it. No wonder Colin loved Wes so much.

  Pete's visit gave Colin the idea to invite some of his friends over. He started with Tyson and Lau since they were the most civilized, but that wasn't saying much. This time Colin wanted to cook. He had watched Wes make the lasagna, and he thought he could manage it.

  "I've seen what happens when you learn by watching," Wes told him.

  "It wasn't hard. Let me cook."

  "No. I want to make a good impression."

  "But they are my friends," Colin pointed out.

  "And my guests. You can help. What do your friends like to eat?" Wes asked.

  "Lau likes normal food, but Tyson likes salad and steamed vegetables, crap like that."

  "Then lasagna would have been the wrong thing to make," Wes told him. "I'm cooking.
You're going shopping."

  Colin saluted him smartly and started a shopping list.

  Maybe he didn't get to cook, but Colin did get to plan the menu with Wes. He also helped him cook. It was nice. They were entertaining friends as a couple. And not just friends, another couple just like them. This was sweet. It was even sweeter when Tyson and Lau arrived and got an eyeful of Wes.

  "I was sure you were lying," Tyson whispered to him when he saw that Wes was just as described.

  "Stop drooling over him," Colin told both him and Lau.

  Lau was removing his jacket in slow motion as he stared at Wes.

  "He's not even my type," Lau claimed pointing at the dark and skinny Tyson as proof.

  "Wes is not a type. He's every man's wet dream," Colin said.

  "Please stop," Wes begged him.

  "Stop embarrassing you? Never," Colin declared then he did formal introductions.

  "He's just proud of you and doesn't know how to shut up about it," Tyson told Wes as he shook his hand and gave Colin a sideways look.

  "And Tyson is always telling me to play it cool," Colin said.

  "Good advice is wasted on you," Tyson said with a shake of his head.

  "Shouldn't we be on our best behavior or something?" Lau asked helplessly.

  Wes smiled at him and invited them to sit at the table.

  The food was a success. Wes was quiet but he smiled at the constant arguments Tyson was starting and Lau was encouraging. Colin got to run his mouth nonstop so it was a good time.

  Playing hosts with Wes put Colin in the mood for a fuck. It was only what Wes owed him and it was overdue. But Wes didn't see it that way. He made Colin come by sucking him off. Then Colin had to settle for sucking him off in return. OK, he loved every minute of it, but he bitched about being denied a fuck anyway.

  The lights were out in Wes's bedroom. Pale moonlight came in through the windows making Wes's skin look like perfect marble while his eyes looked annoyed with Colin and also gorgeous.

  "Couldn't we just go to sleep?" Wes asked.

  "We could have if you had fucked me first." Colin tried for some emotional blackmail. "Maybe if you loved me..."

  "I do love you," Wes said, but he tried to downplay it.

  Colin fitted himself against Wes's side. In a husky voice, he spoke in his ear. "Then make me feel it. Fuck me."

  "No," Wes told him flatly.

  "Maybe you need to love me more." Colin gripped him tighter but Wes was unmoved.

  "Impossible. I love you with all my being," Wes claimed.

  Colin wanted solid, hard proof of that. "Does that include your cock?"

  "Colin, let me breathe. I need to get used to this," Wes pleaded with him so Colin adopted a different tactic.

  "Then just talk to me. Tell me what the problem is," Colin said hoping he could shoot down all his arguments.

  Wes saw right through that. "You want me to tell you so you can disagree with everything I say?"

  "Probably," Colin admitted.

  "OK. If you want to talk, I want to hear your plans for the future. For yourself, not for us," Wes said, knowing why Colin opened his mouth so eagerly.

  Colin crossed his arms under his head and leaned back. He had already given his own future a little thought. No, he didn't want to keep working at the diner all his life, but it did give him an idea.

  "I was thinking maybe I'll save enough money and go to cooking school. Then I'll knock your socks off, and you won't be able to resist me, my sweet ass or my cooking."

  "Your cooking is improving all the time," Wes told him.

  "You didn't let me cook for my own friends," Colin reminded him, but Wes turned to him with something more serious to say.

  "If you want to go to school, you don't have to wait. I have plenty of money to pay for it."

  "Are you rich?" Colin asked. He knew Wes's business did pretty well, but he didn't want to sponge off him more than he already had.

  "Not exactly. My grandparents left me some money. They were frugal. I didn't even know how much money they had until they died. They left me a trust fund, but most of the money was earmarked for my psychiatric care and even institutionalization if I should ever succumb to mental illness." Wes showed no emotion as he said this, but Colin was pretty damn outraged.

  "Damn," Colin said, sitting up. "That's the future they saw for you? It's their fault I'm not getting the fucking I rightly deserve. They messed you up."

  "They witnessed what happened to my mother. How she went from their sweet little girl to a lunatic who came home with injuries she couldn't explain, who had to be drugged and restrained for her own protection."

  Colin wondered how much of that Wes had seen for himself. It must have been terrifying to believe that that would be him one day. What a terrible shadow to live under, especially for a kid.

  "Still. They infected you with all that fear. And you're fine," Colin pointed out.

  "The verdict isn't in yet. They could still be right. And if one day I go crazy like my mother?" Wes asked, looking sad at the prospect.

  "I'll be right there driving you even crazier," Colin vowed, meaning it with all his heart.

  "That's comforting," Wes said with a wry smile.

  "I'm not going to hold my breath wondering if you're going to go nuts. If it happens, we'll handle it." Colin hugged him. With a solemn look, he silently promised to deal with whatever came their way. But he wasn't going to get snowed under by a big maybe looming over their future. He followed up his promise with a kiss and a grope to let Wes know his priorities hadn't changed.

  *

  Wes had to laugh. Colin had such a sane attitude about Wes's future. As Wes held him, he felt boundless strength flowing from him. If only Wes had grown up with someone like him to watch over him. Until he met Colin, optimism seemed unthinkable in his life.

  From his grandparents Wes learned to expect the worst. Through the years, their look of concern and unwavering fear was a constant in his life. There was love there too. He was undeniably precious to them, but having their watchful eyes on him froze him up inside.

  Wes always wondered if there was something already broken inside him. There might be a crack just waiting for the right kind of pressure to split his mind open. How could a fault like that withstand Colin and all the impossible highs of Wes's feelings for him? Colin was turmoil, passion, anguish, and most of all a devastating, feverish love. He was an earthquake who had torn apart Wes's restrained existence. He was everything Wes had guarded against. That's why he resisted Colin as long as he could. That's why he was still holding back.

  Seeing that Colin was gazing at him quietly while he was lost in thought, Wes ran his hand over Colin's curly hair. He was amazed at how much pleasure he got from touching Colin anywhere. Colin entwined his fingers with Wes's and leaned his head on his shoulder. Wes brought up their clasped hands to hold close against his chest. In a more sober mood now, Colin lay quietly, but his eyes were bright in the dim glow of moonlight that bathed the room. His eyes both asked and promised so much.

  Chapter 16

  After last night, Colin understood Wes better and he was glad. He wanted Wes to tell him everything the good, the bad, and even the boring. But that would have to wait. For now, his first priority was purely physical. They had plenty of time to tell each other all their stories. As long as Wes loved him, there was nothing standing in their way. Colin just had to convince Wes of that or just plain seduce him. He wanted to show him, make him feel it down to his bones. This is us. We're strong. Unbreakable.

  All next day, the overpowering need to have Wes was building inside him. It wouldn't let him wait. Being good was too hard. He couldn't take it any more. Just waiting for Wes to come to bed tapped out his patience. Colin was determined to get his way. As soon as Wes came to the bedroom, Colin made his demand. Wes was barely through the door, and Colin was on him.

  "I'm done waiting. I want to fuck."

  "It's only been twenty four hours since I asked yo
u for a little time," Wes pointed out reasonably.

  "That is a little time. And why is everything a battle with you?" Colin asked pulling at his clothes, wishing that he could just rip them off.

  "Because you always want to rush me," Wes told him matter-of-factly while Colin kissed his neck.

  "I'll make the decision easy for you. Give me what I want, or give me what I want." Colin wrapped himself around him and squeezed his muscular ass. He was making it clear that this time he wouldn't be denied. Gripping Wes's ass, he pushed their cocks together hard. A groan rumbled through Wes's powerful chest. Colin loved that he could make him do that. Pressed up fully against Wes, he could feel every reaction, especially the quick hardening of his cock.

  "I'm going to drive you so crazy," Colin promised and kneeled in front of him. He freed his cock with shaking hands. OK. He was a little nervous. He rubbed his hands together to make sure they were warm and to steady them before he started stroking Wes's cock. It wasn't fully hard yet. With his hand wrapped around it like he was measuring it, Colin pumped lightly. Coming alive under his touch, Wes's cock swelled into an impossibly rigid column. Colin held his breath.

  "Did you change your mind?" Wes asked him in a deep soothing, voice.

  Colin just had to show a hint of hesitation and Wes would back off. Colin swiped his tongue over the head of his cock and looked up at him to show him how sure he was.

  "I know I'm in good hands. And what I lack in experience, I make up for in pure, manly talent for fucking," Colin told him.

  Wes still had doubt in his eyes so Colin stood up and kissed him. As they kissed, he felt Wes's arms go around him. Wes was holding him tight as his tongue reached deep into Colin's mouth. In that kiss, he could feel that Wes's answer was finally a yes. A tremor ran through him at the realization that this was really happening. It was too wonderful. Wes was giving in. But suddenly Colin pulled back. He had to stare hard at Wes, at those calm gray eyes he loved. He wanted to read in them Wes's wish, not just his own.