Summer Heat

by Carly Phillips

  “Sorry, kid. Still can’t afford one today. Maybe next week. How about some cookies instead?”

  He sighed. “Okay.”

  On the way home, she stopped at a discount store and got several beginning readers for Cody. At the checkout was a display of inexpensive classical CDs. Impulsively she plucked out one of Vienna waltzes, as a treat for herself. Maybe it hadn’t been such a bad day after all.

  She had no real stereo system, but couldn’t stand to have no way to play music, and two years ago had splurged on small remote speaker. Happily, once they got home, she put the CD on her computer, linked to the Bluetooth, and started putting away her groceries.

  “Turn it up, Mommy!” Cody cried, running into the kitchen. “This is happy music!”

  With a chuckle, she did just that. Cody spun and whirled all over the living room, and she watched him with a deep sense of satisfaction as she stowed the perishables. Then, leaving the rest for later, she rushed into the living room and scooped him up. “We can dance together!”

  She turned up the volume another notch, and spun around with her son. The music, so rich and wild and yes, happy, washed away the strain of her bad day. Holding the precious, laughing body of her son in her arms, it all seemed worth it—losing college and Eric and having to be poor again when that was the one thing she’d vowed to avoid.

  It was worth it. A thousand times over.

  * * *

  Lance could hear the music as soon as he turned off Tamara’s car in her driveway. It was the “Blue Danube Waltz,” floating out on waves of fairy-tale sound into the trees and the gathering dusk. In the living room she had turned a lamp on against the darkness, but had neglected to pull the curtains. He could see her plainly through the wide front window, dancing with her son. The little boy leaned back suddenly, letting his head fall, and Tamara spun him around. The boy’s hair fluttered like the fringe on a yellow scarf.

  Lance didn’t move. He stood by the car, feeling somehow winded. It didn’t occur to him to be ashamed of spying on them. As he watched, Tamara put her son on his feet, and led a march around the living room to the sound of the drums. Then the boy led. And when the swirling started again, they spun around side by side, arms out to the side. Lance found his attention snagged by the sight of her dark, sleek hair swinging in a bell around her shoulders.

  Watching them, the sense of brittleness that had surrounded Lance all day ebbed, and he felt only very tired and empty. He might have stood there all evening, immobile, but a car came down the road, spitting gravel from the shoulder. Shaken from his trance, he went to the door and rang the bell.

  Cody flung open the door. “Hey, the forest man!” he said. The blond locks were tousled, and for a single moment, Lance was reminded of his brother Tyler. Ty’s hair was lighter, but he’d been impish like this.

  Hard to believe now. Lance doubted there was a more serious person on the planet.

  “Hi there,” Lance said. “Can I talk to your mom, please?”

  He waited on the porch this time, unwilling to invade her private time with her child. Tamara came right to the door. Her cheeks were flushed a bright rosy color. “Oh, hi!” she said, pushing open the screen door. “Come in. Things are a mess, but…well, just come on.”

  As he stepped in, the next waltz came on, deafeningly loud. “Cody, turn that down for me, please.” She looked at Lance. “Sorry. We got a little carried. away.”

  He tried to find a smile, but it felt like only a shadow. “I saw you from outside. Looked like fun.”

  “Come in and sit down,” she said. “Can I get you a cup of tea or something? I don’t keep liquor or beer, but we have other things.”

  To his surprise, he settled on the couch. It was worn and comfortable, covered with a bright blanket. “I can’t stay long. But maybe a cup of tea would be nice.”

  “Stay right there. I’ll get it.”

  Cody had turned down the music, and now came over and sat down on the couch next to him. The boy pretended not to be interested. He sat close to the edge and swung his feet, his little hands in his lap, like a maiden aunt sitting with company.

  Lance had practice making small talk with little ones. “You go to school yet?” he asked.

  “No. Not real school. Only preschool.” He brightened. “But I can read. Wanna see?”

  “Sure.” Lance chuckled.

  Cody jumped down and scuttled over to the table. He brought back a stack of Dr. Seuss books. Lance guessed he’d been read to often, and had memorized the text of one or another of them. Cody held them out awkwardly, using his knee to keep from dropping the whole stack. “Which one do you want?”

  “Let me help you, kiddo.” Lance propped the books up on his palms. “You pick.”

  Cody looked at them carefully. “This one has mommy in it. I know that word pretty good.”

  Lance put the others on the table and let Cody crawl up next to him. The boy felt warm against him. The painful ache in his chest somehow eased with the contact, and he dropped his arm around the child. “Whenever you’re ready.”

  “I hafta go slow, though,” Cody said earnestly, his big blue eyes wide. “And you might have to help me with some words.”

  “I can do that.”

  Cody flipped open the book to a page in the middle and put his finger on the first word. “I don’t know this one,” he said.

  “‘Are,’” Lance said.

  “Are you mmmm-mmm—eeee mommy?” he said haltingly. “Oh! ‘Are you my mommy?’”

  “Good.”

  “That’s not his mommy, I don’t think,” Cody said with a frown. “A bird needs a bird mommy.”

  Lance chuckled. “You’re right.”

  Cody read the page, and by the way he stumbled and sounded out words according to the way they looked, Lance realized he wasn’t reciting, but actually reading. At the end of the page, he said, “I’m very impressed, Cody. How old are you?”

  “Four.”

  Tamara came back into the room, bearing a neat little wooden tray with a teapot in a cozy, a bowl of sugar and pitcher of milk, and two cups. “He’s almost four and a half,” she said.

  “Mommy, I read this whole page!” he said.

  “Very good, honey.” She put the tray on the coffee table. “Why don’t you go and play in your room now for a little while? I’ll give you a bath later.”

  “Can I take my books?”

  “Of course. They’re yours.”

  Cody gathered the slippery books close to his chest. “Bye,” he said.

  “Bye. Thanks for reading to me.”

  Cody nodded and ran off to his room.

  “Cute kid,” Lance said. “Are you teaching him to read?”

  Tamara straightened, looking after her son with a perplexed expression. “No. He has little magnetic letters on the fridge, and he watches ‘Sesame Street’ all the time, so he must have started putting them together in his head somehow.” She shook her head, and gave him a smile that was very sweet. “I only realized this afternoon that he was really reading, not just picking out a word here and there.”

  Her whole attitude tonight was quite different from what it had been the other times he’d seen her. She seemed kinder, warmer, not so bristly.

  But maybe it was because he was putting out something different tonight. He had no energy left to flirt or tease or come on to her. When she handed him a cup of tea, he felt only grateful. “Thanks,” he said.

  “You’re welcome.” She poured herself a cup, and then looked at him earnestly. Gone were the harsh, tight lines around her mouth, the wariness in her eyes. “Lance, it was very kind of you to help me this morning.”

  “Glad to do it. No big deal.”

  “It was a big deal.” She took a breath. “It was your father’s funeral today, wasn’t it?”

  He looked down into his cup. The herb tea was a deep, rich red. “Yeah. It was.”

  “If I’d known, I would never have asked for a favor.”

  “You wouldn�
�t have needed to take your test?”

  “Of course I would have. But I just—I feel kind of bad. I’m sorry for your loss.”

  That thick, unbearable weight sunk against his chest again. “Thanks,” he said, and heard how rough his voice sounded.

  “I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but you don’t look very good tonight. Can I do something?”

  If he hadn’t been so damned worn-out, he would have summoned up something suggestive to counter that. Instead, to his horror, he felt the long-held tears in his throat suddenly rise. “No,” he said abruptly. He put the tea aside and stood up, feeling a panicked need to get out of there before he completely humiliated himself. “No, I’m fine.”

  He rushed toward the door, blindly, without thought, certain of only one thing. Something about this warm house and the comfort of tea and a little boy’s warmth against his side had destroyed his defenses, and he had to get out of there.

  Now.

  Chapter Five

  Stunned, Tamara watched Lance jump up and bolt for the door. He was out on the porch before she managed to collect herself enough to go after him. “Lance!” she called, going through the door.

  He stopped in the yard, his back to her. And for one tiny moment, Tamara couldn’t help but admire the picture he made against the gilded sky. His hair, those broad shoulders set in such stiff lines, the almost inhumanly perfect rear end.

  Desire, pure and plain, filled her. She pushed it aside, aware that he needed something a lot more satisfying than a roll in the hay. Like maybe a friend. Or a shoulder to cry on.

  She ran lightly down the steps and stopped next to him, instinctively reaching out to put her hand on his arm. He flinched. “I’m okay,” he said gruffly.

  “Well, if you say so,” Tamara replied with a chuckle. “But if you were in my bar, I’d recommend a good shot of whiskey.”

  It worked. He gave her a quick, rueful glance. “I’ve been doing pretty good right up till this minute.” With a rough swipe of his forearm, he rubbed his face. “I guess I’m just tired now. Oughta just get home before I make a total fool of myself.”

  His half smile was filled with heartbreaking bravado. For one evening, Tamara could ignore the past, and just live in the present. “I have a better idea,” she said, firmly taking his arm. “I haven’t had any supper, and I was going to make some French onion soup. It doesn’t take long. Why don’t you let me fix you some, too?”

  He hesitated.

  She tugged a little. “C’mon. Let me repay your kindness to me today.”

  He looked at her for a long, silent time, the dark blue eyes filled with hesitance and sorrow and exhaustion. The exhaustion won. “I think I’d like that.”

  * * *

  True to her promise, the soup took only a half hour. Lance wandered into Cody’s room while she cooked, and she heard them building something out of Lego blocks. Cody had collected the parts for a castle, and he loved to build the tower, with little Lego-men guards on top, but he needed an adult to help him. And much as she liked playing with him, Tamara did not often have time.

  Listening to the soft conversation between the man and his son, Tamara wondered again if she were wrong to keep this knowledge from Lance. Whether he had intended to do it or not, he’d planted a child, and that child was bright and warm and wonderful. Especially in light of his very plain grief, perhaps the knowledge that he had a son might ease the sorrow.

  Shredding cheese, she frowned. He probably did have a right to know. But if she told him, she’d have to deal with the very real and awkward issues of custody.

  As the ramifications of that thought fully penetrated for the first time, the air left Tamara’s lungs. What if Lance, in retribution or anger or even love, took Cody away from her?

  She had officially adopted her nephew, but a blood father, especially one who had had no knowledge of the birth of his son, might have a higher claim. Especially a father with as much power as a Forrest commanded in this tightly knit mountain community.

  Breathless, she sat down, the cheese grater still in her hands. Shreds of Parmesan drifted over the knees of her jeans and she brushed them off distractedly. How had she never considered this angle before? That Lance Forrest, if he knew, might take her son from her?

  A rich, low man-laugh rolled out of the back bedroom, punctuated with the higher giggle of a boy. The sound seemed suddenly ominous to Tamara. To have worked so hard, and given up so much, only to lose him?

  No.

  To safeguard her interests, she had to talk to a lawyer. She had no idea how she would manage to pay for the services of one, but somehow, she had to find a way. She needed to be prepared, just in case….

  In the bedroom, a tower of Lego blocks fell over with a crash, and Cody shrieked with glee. The sound broke into Tamara’s frightened reverie. A smell of scorching onions penetrated and she jumped up to stir them.

  Taking a deep breath, she calmed her racing thoughts. Lance Forrest was no more likely to steal Cody away than he was to marry a dowdy spinster. He was footloose and liked it that way. He wouldn’t tie himself down to anything or anyone.

  Or at least that’s what she’d always believed. Tonight, looking so broken, she had cause to wonder. Maybe he wasn’t quite the hellion she believed. Maybe his reputation was ill deserved.

  Then she thought of Valerie. No, Lance had earned every word of his wild-man reputation.

  So he likely wouldn’t take Cody away from her, simply because it would mean tying himself down.

  But sooner or later, Lance was bound to put two and two together and remember that Tamara was Valerie’s cousin. He’d remember that wild Christmastime affair, and start to wonder. Or she would be in public somewhere, and run into Lance with his nephew Curtis, who was almost a twin of his cousin Cody. Tamara went to great pains to keep Cody out of Louise Forrest’s sight. A grandmother would notice immediately the resemblance between the two boys.

  So perhaps, just to be safe, Tamara needed to be clear on her legal rights before she told Lance about his son. Sooner or later, he was going to find out the truth, and it might be best for everyone if he heard the news from her own lips.

  After scaring herself silly with thoughts of Lance taking Cody away from her, Tamara regretted her decision to invite him to stay. And yet, he showed no signs of hurrying off. He ate the soup with genuine hunger. When Tamara said she needed to give Cody his bath and get him to bed, hoping Lance would take the hint and leave, he only stood up and started collecting the dishes. “How about if I wash these up for you, then?”

  “Oh, that’s not necessary,” she protested. “I know how tired you must be.”

  “No trouble,” he said, and walked toward the kitchen.

  Tamara gave up. She hurried Cody through his bath, and read him one story, then tucked him in, and rushed back into the kitchen. She would tell him she had to study. That she had—

  But he wasn’t in the kitchen, although all the dishes were neatly stacked on the drain board. He’d even wiped the counters and stove, something Eric had always missed. “Lance?” she called.

  No answer. She wandered out through the dining room of the small bungalow and into the living room. And there he was, sprawled in her comfortable, overstuffed recliner, sound asleep. Tamara stopped, putting a hand to her stomach, pierced by his rough, vulnerable beauty.

  Yellow light spilled over him from the floor lamp, illuminating the bright streaks in his uncut hair, and catching the faint bristles of beard beginning to show on his jaw after the long day. She followed a finger of light from his high brow, down his straight nose, to the edge of his lower lip. His head was cast sideways, showing the line of his strong brown throat, and the triangle of chest above his shirt. Lamplight plucked a faint scattering of gilded hair on his chest.

  He breathed deeply, slowly, one hand on his chest, his long, jean-clad legs flung out over the footrest.

  Tamara filled her eyes, letting wonder creep over her. He was the kind of man a woman would m
ake up. Thick hair to run her fingers through, a mobile mouth made for half-cocked grins, the lips shaped for kissing a woman for a long, long time, the strong, hard body made for touching and embracing and making long, lazy love.

  Standing in the doorway, Tamara found it far too easy to imagine herself stretched out over that long, lean length, her body pressed into his—

  Oh, Valerie! she thought. No wonder you fell so hard!

  With a rueful smile, she shook her head at herself. It had been too long since she’d had a lover. Way too long. That was the trouble with sex—you could do without forever as long as you never tasted the fruit. Once tasted, it was always missed.

  It was something she’d learned by watching Valerie, actually. And she’d been careful to preserve her innocence until college. Until she met Eric, who had seemed to share her goals and dreams. She’d never regretted either waiting or deciding to at last sample the fruits of the flesh.

  Until now. Now it seemed impossible she’d gone four years without making love. Without letting herself even dream of it.

  From the couch, she took the blanket, and covered Lance with it. He barely moved. Up close, she could see the etching of weariness around his mouth, the deepening of strain around his eyes. Tamara remembered the strain of her mother’s funeral, and how completely drained she’d felt that night. It would hurt nothing to let him sleep here for an hour or two. She had to study anyway. When she was finished, she would awaken him and send him on his way.

  But as she settled at the table, she noticed she sat facing him, so she could watch him. It was bound to make studying statistics a little bit more pleasant, much like playing sonatas to ease the pain of accounting or reading business administration at the park so the sunshine took away the boredom.

  A wry grin twisted her mouth as she flipped open the textbook. “You’re a hussy at heart, Flynn,” she said under her breath, and lifted her eyes to the gilded picture of Lance Forrest lying asleep in her chair.

  There were worse things, she thought, and applied herself to her studies.