Summer Heat

by Carly Phillips

  See all books at BarbaraSamuel.com

  IF YOU WERE MINE

  Jenika Snow

  Chapter One

  Daisy

  Prick.

  Arrogant.

  Asshole.

  All of those things and more had been said about Lennon, Prince of Hemingway Court, and second in line for the throne. But I knew him, saw him daily ... waited on him.

  Behind those blue eyes was a man who was lonely, a man who was missing something in his life. I didn't know what that was, but I wanted to help him, wanted to tell him he could talk to me.

  I just wanted him.

  I had a feeling he acted the way he did because he was pushing people away, because he was hurting inside and didn't know how to deal with it.

  I saw it happen with my father before he left us.

  But I just was just the help, a servant to the Royal Family. I served him food, cleaned his room, and knew that nothing would ever come of being with him. I’d always wanted him, but I knew I could never have him.

  It was my bittersweet reality.

  A commoner could never catch the eye of a prince. I was content with that, at least I pretended to be.

  I grabbed the silver tray that held his breakfast, and headed toward his room. I passed other servants, even the Duke and Duchess of Alansworth, who were here for a visit, and saw Princess Carolyn just barley slipping into her room for the “night”.

  My heart thundered and my hands shook. I curled my fingers tighter, harder into the silver tray, willing myself to be calm. I needed to at least appear that way, even if I didn't feel it on the inside.

  But being in Prince Lennon's presence always made me feel unsteady, always had my emotions rising to the top.

  I stopped in front of his bedroom door, feeling like my heart was going to burst through my chest. You think after being a royal servant for so many years I would have been able to control myself. But the truth was I couldn't, not when it concerned Prince Lennon.

  I lifted my hand to give three sharp knock before entering, but I stopped with my hand mid air when I heard him shouting to someone on the other side of the door.

  “I told you that's not who I am. I don't care what the tabloids say, and I don't give a fuck what anybody thanks.”

  I brought my knuckles down on the door, three sharp taps, before gripping the handle and pushing it open. I immediately see Lennon sitting on the edge of his massive bed, his hands tunneled into his short dark hair, his attention on the ground.

  I left the door open as I came in, not speaking to him because I know my place.

  I didn’t make eye contact either. “Good morning Prince Lennon.” I set the tray down on the table off to the side, gave a slight bow, and turned to leave.

  “Daisy?”

  My entire body stilled, the blood rushed through my veins, pumping harder, faster. I turned around, keeping my hands behind my back, my posture stiff.

  “Your highness?” My throat was dry, tight.

  For long seconds he didn’t say anything, just stared at me, watched me with this stoic expression. It makes my heart beat erratically. I want to go to him, just want to admit how I feel, how I have felt for so long.

  Know your place.

  “Thank you,” he said, his voice low, deep.

  He kept staring at me, his blue eyes intent, knowing almost. I felt this chill race my spine, and my entire body reacted just from that look.

  “You're welcome, Your Highness.” I forced myself to turn away, to leave the room, but I wanted to stay there. I wanted to have him keep looking at me, keep making me feel like I was special. My thinking was irrational, but it was unavoidable.

  I’d felt this way for years, and even if I was only twenty-two years old and a servant, the only thing I wanted was Lennon.

  But that was a fantasy, and I needed to realize that my reality was far less glamorous

  * * *

  Lennon

  She thought I didn't notice her, or see the way her bright blue eyes were constantly locked on me.

  But I did notice her. I'd noticed her for a very long time but hadn't been man enough to actually tell her how I felt.

  Even if I was a prince my life was far from ideal. I had my own emotions, my own doubts. I was lonely, even if people surrounded me constantly. This wasn't the life I wanted, but had been born into. The only saving grace was the fact I wasn’t first in line for the throne. Thank God my brother Ashton had to deal with that.

  The tabloids, the whispers that there was something wrong with me, that maybe my melancholy attitude and lack of following my traditional upbringing, were always splashed across the tabloids. This was how it had always been, how it would always be.

  My thoughts went back to Daisy, about how I did want her even if my family probably wouldn't approve. She was a trusted employee, the Royal staff, but that didn't mean my mother and father would say it was okay for me to be with a “commoner”.

  But I wasn't better than her. In fact she was too good for me. She was light, bright, and always inquisitive. I on the other hand let my inner emotions, and the fact that I had nothing and no one despite the riches that surrounded me, bring me drown.

  The very idea of Daisy by my side, of having her as mine, only mine, had this feeling of life washing through me. It had this hope that I didn't have to live this routine life, consuming me, making me think there was more than I had ever imagined.

  I wanted to break away, to live outside of this traditional box.

  I just wanted to be with Daisy. And one way or another I’d have her. I’d make her mine. And fuck anyone who stopped me.

  Chapter Two

  Daisy

  I took off my shoes, tossed them into the corner, and made my way to the couch. My home was small, just a one bedroom apartment that I shared with my cat. In all essences of the word I was a loner, choosing to be that way.

  With my parents all but nonexistent in my life, and only a couple of friends that I would consider close. It suited me well enough to just be alone.

  Maybe that's why I felt like I knew Lennon so well, that I could relate to him. I felt like he and I were one in the same, that we shared this emptiness that could be filled by the other.

  But no matter how many thoughts I had, how many times I did envision just going up to him and explaining how I felt, I knew the truth. I knew I could never be with him, that I could never actually be truthful and admit my feelings.

  He and I were living in two different worlds, this whole solar system apart, and as much as I wanted to be okay with that, I never would be. It was hard seeing him every day, wanting someone I knew I could never possibly have.

  I made my way into the bathroom and turned the faucet on, filling the tub up with near scalding water. The steam rows up, and as I put the lilac bubble bath in the scent of flowers invaded my senses.

  Sure, I read the tabloids, knew what they said about Prince Lennon, they accused him of being the black sheep of the family, the one who didn't take royalty seriously, didn't understand that the Crown was his life.

  But I knew better than anyone, maybe because I thought we were the same, on some level. There was nothing wrong with keeping to yourself, nothing wrong with wanting nothing to do with the spotlight.

  I’d been that way my whole life, never needed anyone but myself to be content and happy. But I wasn't happy anymore, and hadn't been since I first saw him. Since the first realized I wanted him in my life.

  Before I slipped into the tub I heard my cell going off. I left the bathroom and went into my room to grab it. The number that flashed across my screen was from one of the other servants, Holly.

  “Hey,” I said and held the phone between my ear and shoulder, moving back into the bathroom and staring at the water as it filled up the tub.

  “Hey back to you.”

  I heard the clatter of pots and pans in the background and knew she was still at the palace.

  “Want to hit up a The Pub tonight?”
r />   “Really? You’re not tired after working all day?” I sure as hell was, or maybe I felt tired because I had thought about Lennon constantly?

  “Sure, why not? I know you don't have anything else to do. And neither do I. Besides, getting a couple free drinks from drunken guys hitting on us isn't that bad is it?”

  I heard the teasing of her voice. I had to admit, she had a point.

  Although I should've said no, that I’d rather stay in, the truth was getting out of here and trying to lose myself in something that wasn’t thoughts of Lennon, sounded like a realistic, smart move.

  “Come on, Daisy, just for a couple of hours?”

  Holly was the only “friend” I had at the palace, but even that was a stretch. I'd say we were more acquaintances, and tonight was probably just two co-workers wanting to let loose. But I had nothing better to do, as she'd said.

  Yeah, what's the worst that could happen? But even after I said that I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.

  Those were famous last words, weren't they?

  * * *

  Lennon

  I closed my bedroom door, my heart beating a little faster than normal, my hands curled into fists at my side. I’d overheard one of the servants speaking on the phone, asking Daisy if she wanted to go to The Pub tonight.

  The very thought of Daisy being around a bunch of drunken asshole pissed me off. Them trying to touch her, hit on her … take her to their bed for the night… Yeah, it pissed me off, made me seeing red.

  Maybe I shouldn't have cared, shouldn't have been as upset as I was. She was free to do what wanted.

  But the truth of the matter was I wanted her so much that I knew I couldn't stay back. I knew I wouldn't, couldn't stay away.

  So, even though it was smarter for me to keep my distance from Daisy, I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. She was my reality. I knew that without a doubt. I’d been a coward for not saying anything sooner.

  Forget anyone and anything that that you could stop me from being with her, for finally admitting how I felt.

  I don't care if it was frowned upon that she was a commoner and I was royalty. I didn't care what my parents would think, what the media would say, or how it would all be perceived. I knew hat I wanted, and I wouldn’t stop up I had it.

  Daisy would be mine, whether she knew it or not.

  It was just a matter of making her see that we belonged together, that rumors or accusations, or the spotlight of a relationship with me wouldn't ruin her. I’d protect her, make sure she was always safe. And anyone who thought that they could come after her would have to go through me.

  I walked over, grabbed my jacket and shoes and put them on. It would be tricky getting out of the palace, especially if I didn't want an escort, which I didn't. But I had my ways of getting around all that.

  At the end of the day there was nothing that would stop me from going to Daisy tonight.

  Chapter Three

  Lennon

  I walked into The Pub and pulled my ball cap down a little lower. At least I had been smart enough to grab it before I left my room, and I wondered if it was even necessary. Would anybody even recognize me here, knowing they were drunk as fuck?

  The music was blaring, the voices loud. It was good enough that everybody was probably getting good and plastered, so the fact that they would even know who I was in their inebriated state was pretty slim.

  I made my way to the side, dodging people who were grinding up against each other, others who were acting rowdy as hell, and scanned the pub to see if I could spot Daisy.

  Someone knocked into me and apologized, but I kept moving, kept scanning the interior trying to see Daisy. Maybe she decided not to come out tonight? That thought had the possessiveness in me dimming slightly. I’d want her at home and safe, not around a bunch of assholes.

  But then I saw her, sitting at one of the tables with a girl. She had a beer in front of her, the glass only half full, her focus on it.

  My heart stilled just a little bit but then doubled in speed. That need I had for her rose up, this vicious beast inside of me. I didn’t know what happened to me in the time since breakfast and now, but I was done waiting, done caring what anyone thought.

  I had absolutely no plan on what I was going to say or do tonight. Maybe I would just stay in the background and watch over her, protect her? And then when she headed back to the palace, or to her apartment, I could be honest with her then.

  I leaned against the wall and just watched her, my focus solely on her, my need for Daisy growing by the second. It was as if something broke inside of me, this damn crushing forward, my emotions spilling out.

  It was as if when I finally realized, understood, that I wouldn't hold myself back from her any longer, that this vicious beast rose up in me. I hoped she felt the same when I did admit how I felt.

  And then I saw her stand and head over to the back hallway. I assumed she was going to the restroom. I straightened, pushing off the wall and walking to where she was headed.

  I really didn't want to talk to her about any of this in a pub, but I also didn't want to seem like an asshole for knowing where she and following her here just to talk to her.

  But speaking with Daisy about my feelings while she was wearing the wait staff uniform and bringing me breakfast seemed grossly out of place. I wanted us on the same level, even though I already knew and felt like we were.

  I positioned myself so I could still see the hallway where the bathroom was, and figured I talk to her when she was out. I’d explain that I needed to speak with her about something important. Not the way I wanted to go about this, but I was tired of waiting.

  And when she finally came out my entire body stiffened, my heart raced, and every part of me wanted to go to her in that moment. She had her head down, glancing at her phone, and she never looked more beautiful.

  I saw some asshole come up to her, all but blocking her way. She glanced up, seeming startled. She smiled but I could tell it was uncomfortable, maybe even a little nervous. Whatever he was saying she shook her head, the smile still in place, but looking more forced by the second. And when he reached out and start playing with the tendril of her hair I could see the discomfort in her face rising.

  Something in the snapped, this beast being unleashed, tearing right through the cage that I apparently had it housed deep within me. I felt myself getting closer to her, my legs moving swiftly, my body propelling toward the thread I saw.

  I gripped the assholes arm and yanked him away. I could smell the booze coming from him instantly, and his blood shot, glossed over gaze was locked with mine. I heard this low rumble and realized it came from me.

  “Don't fucking touch her,” I said harshly. I saw the anger wash over his face only a second before he lifted his arm and started swinging at me. But I had plenty of training, knew how to handle myself. I blocked the move and took a step back. I wanted to fight him, to defend the woman I cared about. But now wasn’t the time.

  I looked over at Daisy, and saw the confusion on her face but then realization washed across her expression when she recognized me. Her eyes widened and I felt a surge of possessiveness slam into me.

  She took a step forward, and I could see by the expression on her face she wanted to protect me and not the other way around.

  I took hold of her hand, and was about to steer her away from the crowd, and take her back to the palace, to my room, but the asshole clocked me right in the side of the face. I stumbled backwards, my anger rising. I turned and faced him, swung out, and hit him in the temple.

  His head cocked to the side and he slammed into the wall. It was then that I realize my hat got knocked off, the room was quiet, and there were about a dozen cell phone cameras aimed right at me.

  Fuck.

  No doubt this incident would be on the front page of every paper in the country come morning. I had Daisy's hand in mine a second later and led her out of the pub. We didn't speak as I took her down some back roads, sneaking her into the palace
through a couple hidden passageways, and finally made it back into my room.

  I shut my bedroom door, just now tasting a metallic flavor cover my tongue. I left my hand and touched my lips, the sensitivity letting me know that it was split.

  I turned and faced Daisy, seeing her watching me, her expression guarded, confused.

  This hadn't been how I wanted this night to go. But it looked like there was no going back now.

  * * *

  Daisy

  I didn't know what was going on. My mind was whirling over the fact Lennon had been at The Pub, that he'd hit some guy for me … that he'd looked so possessive of me.

  My heart was beating so hard it was actually painful. Lennon was watching me like he had something to say. How had he known I was there? Why had he defended me like that, acted like I was his?

  And now, the way he looked at me, stared into his eyes, made me feel so bared despite the fact I was fully dressed.

  Isn’t this what I’d always wanted? I’d always wanted to be in his room, his hands on me, his gaze locked on mine. That had all seemed like a fantasy though. But this, although reality, felt surreal, like I was in a dream, trapped in a loop and unable to escape. But I don't want to leave, I don't want to run away or pretend like this wasn't happening.

  There were a lot of things I wanted to say to Lennon, but the words were lodged in my throat.

  I saw the mark on his lip, his battle wound from defending me.

  The guy had hit him, the asshole so drunk, saying inappropriate, gross things to me that made my skin crawl. I would've been surprised if he even knew what day it was. But when I’d realized it was Lennon who was there this wave of relief filled me. He made me feel like everything would be okay.

  Now is time to say how you feel.

  I felt on edge, the arousal so intense it was like a living entity inside of me.

  “I was worried about you when I knew you went to The Pub.” His voice was slow, deep, his focus trained right on me.