The Sweet By and By

by Sara Evans

  “My heart isn’t enough?”

  Betsy peeked at Jade from under her brow, then laughed. “Cute. I thought you were serious for a moment.”

  “I’m not?”

  “No, Jade, it’s okay. We get it. The gift is a private matter.” Betsy sent off another text. “Best to remind Max. He is a man.”

  “He bought me a house, Betsy, and a diamond ring.”

  “Can’t wear a house around your neck, and I’d have killed him if he proposed without a ring. Let me see it again.” She leaned over the table. “Hm, the man did good.”

  “Rebel is so good about birthdays and anniversaries. Even brings me gifts just because,” June said, reaching for the lemonade pitcher.

  “Come on, June, Rebel is the biggest philan—” A pink hue crept across Betsy’s face. “Flowers. We’re set with calla lilies. Jade, remember, the boutique called and we can pick up all the dresses tomorrow. Yours I have, but I need to get your sister’s and your mother’s.”

  “Rebel is the biggest what, Betsy?” June’s voice cut like a razor.

  “Philanthropist.” She gulped her lemonade. Ice slipped forward in the glass, spilling the drink on her blouse.

  June handed her a napkin. “He is, and it’s important to him that the right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing. Jade, you didn’t know your father-in-law was so generous, did you?”

  “No, June, I didn’t. But I’m not surprised.” Her gaze met Betsy’s. What was she hinting at?

  “Speaking of generosity.” Betsy arched one brow. “Rebel arranged a surprise for you.”

  “Really?” asked June. “For Jade?”

  “What kind of surprise?” asked Jade.

  “Now what kind of surprise would it be if I told you, hm?”

  They concluded the review with tuxes and limos, and arrival of out-of-town guests.

  “It’s so good to have your brother walk you down the aisle. So sad about your dad passing.”

  “Yeah.” Jade shoved away from the table, folding the copy of the list Betsy had handed her. She’d have to clear up that topic another day. “I need to run. I have an appointment.” She hugged Betsy, then June. “Thank you. For everything.”

  “You’re marrying my only son. Of course . . .” June walked her to the front door, the heels of her leather pumps echoing in the bright marble foyer. “About what Betsy said.”

  “It’s none of my business, June. Besides, I’m not one to judge.”

  “Reb’s a good man. You know that, don’t you, Jade?”

  “I do, from all I can see.”

  “He’s imperfect, as are all men, you know. Weak.”

  “Aren’t we all?” Jade twisted open the door. “June, this day wouldn’t have been nearly as lovely and special if it weren’t for you. From the parties, the gifts, and the organizing to hiring Betsy and taking care of so many wedding details I didn’t think were important. But most of all, for challenging me to have a ceremony like this one, and to invite my mother.”

  “What am I for if not for helping?”

  Jade planted a soft kiss on her future mother-in-law’s cheek.

  The church sanctuary wasn’t quiet when Jade entered; it was alive and buzzing with Thursday choir practice.

  Reverend Girden called to say he was running late, but to wait for him in the sanctuary. Jade eased down on the front pew.

  “Arthur, did you get a copy of the music?” The choir director held up copies in his hand.

  After a response of “Yes” and “We’re all good,” the director settled the choir down to rehearse the first number.

  When the first chords from the piano and guitar filled the sanctuary, Jade’s heart swelled. Granny loved this song.

  In the sweet by and by . . .

  Jade hummed, eyes closed, swaying from side to side.

  . . . we will meet on that beautiful shore.

  The peace Jade encountered the night in Beechgrove at Miss Linda’s deepened. She’d started reading Granny’s old Bible instead of clinging to it like a stuffed toy.

  “Jade, thank you for waiting.” Reverend Girden crossed over to her, hand extended. Today, he was the soft, unassuming man. Not the mad dog with a bone. “I’m blessed today. First I had some time with Max, and now you.”

  She stood. “Max was here?”

  “He was. Just wanted to talk over some things.”

  “About me?”

  “Actually about him. He’s about to get married, make a big commitment, and he wanted to make sure he’s on the right course to be a stand-up guy and go the distance with you.” The reverend started for his office. “He really loves you, Jade.”

  “I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I’ll take it.”

  “Good for you.” As before, the reverend sat behind his big oak desk, and Jade took the leather-and-wood chair opposite him. “What can I do for you, Jade?”

  “I’m here because of your boss.”

  “As in the board or the Lord Himself?” He folded his hands on top of the desk.

  “Yes, the . . . the Lord.” Jade angled forward, smoothing her thumb over her fingernails. “I think something happened.”

  Her news didn’t seem to surprise him. “Can you tell me about it?”

  “At first, I thought I might have been going crazy. But the more I think about it . . .” Jade shivered, remembering the burn of His fire. “I did something I’m not proud of, Reverend, and it has caused a lot of pain. For years I blamed my mom, but when I finally faced my part . . .” She made eye contact with Reverend Girden. “Do you think God would be with someone in their darkest hour? No matter what?”

  “If not in their darkest hour, then when? God is always with us. Dark and light are the same to Him.”

  “Even if the person doesn’t believe?”

  “Do you know the story of Paul, Jade? He was a passionate young man in his day, running around Jerusalem arresting and beating Christians in defense of the synagogue. One afternoon, right in the middle of his mission, God dropped by for a visit.”

  “What happened to him?”

  “He became a great lover of Christ. More passionate for Him than he had been against Him.”

  “But this is a different day, a different era.”

  “But He’s the same God. He doesn’t change. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. If they needed to know Him in Paul’s day, we surely need to know Him now.”

  “Does He love everyone?”

  “You know that verse, Jade? ‘For God so loved the world . . .’”

  “I do.” A few times, she woke up with the verse in her head. “I haven’t forgotten every Sunday school lesson.”

  “Did He visit you, Jade?”

  “Yes, I think. Mama and I broke down in Beechgrove and stayed at this woman’s home. She claims God visits her there often.”

  “Sounds just like Him. He loves relationships. We make it about religion, rules, and regulation. But God, He loves to be in a relationship with people. So were you distressed at the time?”

  “Very.” She pressed her fingers to her eyes to block her tears. The first since confronting Mama. “Dealing with what I’d done.”

  The melodies of the choir practice seeped through the walls. The reverend waited.

  “I felt heat.” Jade motioned to her body. “From my toes to my crown. Well, first I felt a wind. It blew only on my face, or at my feet. After I told God I was sorry for what I’d done, then the heat came. Searing heat. Then the burden of pain was gone, and I felt this incredible peace.”

  “Jesus comes to take away our guilt and shame, Jade. Why not yours?” The reverend smiled. “We like to put God in a box, determine when and how He can speak to us, but He can relate to us any way He wants.”

  “Guess I thought I’d disqualified myself.” She exhaled. “I feel . . . free.”

  “Nothing can separate us from the love of God. We all mess up, make mistakes, but if there’s a yes in your heart to Him, you’re on the right path.”


  Jade laughed. “My Paps and Granny are dancing in heaven. They were quiet in their prayers for us, but I have no doubt that’s why I’m sitting here now.”

  The reverend folded his hands on his desk. “Max asked me this morning to do a religious ceremony, weaving your faith and God into the vows. I’m honored to do so. Jade, anytime you want to talk, my door is always open to you.”

  She stood. “I was thinking I could sign up for those classes you mentioned.”

  “We meet every Monday night at seven.”

  Twenty-nine

  The white room with yellow buttercup trim was too quiet. Beryl longed for Willow’s exuberant presence, but she’d gone off with her new friends.

  That girl. She’ll never be lonely.

  Dr. Meadows had just called. Wanted to know if she was feeling all right, if she had any weakness or pain. The weight loss and weather contributed to the night at Miss Linda’s when she was so cold. Beryl was just glad to not have the flu the week of Jade’s wedding.

  Then he told her he’d schedule her for chemo the week she returned home.

  Stretching out on her bed, her silver hair splayed across the starched pillowcase, Beryl reached for the brass ring that may have only existed in her dreams and closed her fingers around it. Don’t let me go.

  She wondered if she could experience what Jade had in Miss Linda’s yard. A healing heat. She might believe if she did.

  Drifting in the twilight between awake and asleep, Beryl was young again, dancing in the moonlight with Harlan. Planting corn. There were Mother and Paps, around the red-and-chrome kitchen table. Little man Aiden taking her picture while Jade jumped up and down in the kitchen, begging for her to make cookies. Willow, cherubic but ornery, swung up on Beryl’s hip.

  Call him.

  Beryl’s eyes popped open. Call him? Who?

  Call him.

  Beryl sat up, leaning her back against the headboard. Call him. But she didn’t want to call him. It’d been too many years. Too much silence. She wouldn’t begin to know what to say.

  Call him.

  Hesitating only a half second, Beryl picked up the phone and followed the instructions for making a long-distance call.

  Sunlight washed her bedroom window as Jade kicked her legs from under the covers and dropped to the floor next to Roscoe’s bed. He snored in a smooth, even rhythm. “Roscoe,” Jade whispered, “I’m getting married today.”

  His feet fluttered and a muffled “ruff” billowed his lips.

  “Get that old rabbit.” Jade rubbed his brown and black head. “Even with one eye, you’re better than the best German Shepherd hunter.”

  As if he had heard, Roscoe opened his eye and touched his nose to Jade’s.

  Rolling over on her back, Jade stared at her white ceiling. “Max was so sweet last night at the rehearsal dinner, Roscoe. He’s getting it, you know? He stayed with me all night, never left my side, even when those bozo friends of his tried to get him outside for a cigar.

  “I’m doing the right thing, Roscoe.” The dog nudged her shoulder. “Time for breakfast and a trip outside.”

  Jade tugged on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, finding her sneakers by the door. Ten a.m., and it felt like an eternity until six p.m. Down the loft stairs and out the storeroom door, Jade and Roscoe stepped into a cold, blue-sky day. Shivering, she urged Roscoe to do his business quick.

  It was weird seeing the shop dark and the sign announcing, “Closed for the Owner’s Wedding.”

  Back up in the loft, Jade scooped Roscoe’s breakfast into his bowl, then stood in front of the open fridge trying to decide if anything sounded good to eat.

  “Big sister.” A knock echoed and Willow let herself in. “Breakfast from Sugar Plumbs. Daphne and Margot gave me Bridal KP. Did you know Margot is bossy?”

  “Really? I had no idea.” Jade opened the box Willow handed her. “Mm, an omelet.”

  “Mae cooked your breakfast herself. Said she figured you’d need something to stick to your ribs. All they’ll serve is bunny food at the bridesmaids’ luncheon.” Willow hunted through Jade’s cupboards. “Where do you keep the napkins?”

  Jade pointed her toe at the pantry.

  “Beryl’s still asleep,” Willow said once they hit the sofa, cartons propped on their laps, feet against the coffee table. “She’s sick, isn’t she?”

  Jade’s eyes met her sister’s. “She has leukemia. Four years now.”

  Willow swirled her eggs around her box. “That makes sense. She’s been losing weight, sleeping a lot, not working. When did she tell you?”

  “When we toured the house.”

  “Wow, I suspected something was wrong but never thought it was real.” Willow set her food on the coffee table and walked to the window. “Is it serious?”

  “Dr. Meadows wants to start her on chemo. Mama said she’s losing the war.”

  “For a long time I didn’t think I’d care that much if she died. That sounds awful, doesn’t it? It’s not like when Granny went. I felt like my childhood died with her.” Willow peered back at Jade. “But it’s Beryl, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it’s Mama, with all her ups and downs, marriages and parties.” Jade patted the cushion, calling Willow back to the sofa. “We can do the right thing and forgive all she’s done, help her through this.”

  Willow bit off the end of a sausage link, then give the rest to Roscoe. “I’m sad for Beryl. She seems so alone.” Willow tapped her food with her fork.

  “That’s why we’ll be there for her.”

  “I should go back to school, shouldn’t I?” Willow tore off a bit of bacon.

  “Yes. Mama’s been wrong about a lot of things, Willow. But she’s right about you and the potential you have.” Jade set her food aside. “Don’t waste yourself on a bunch of men, partying, living like there’s no tomorrow.”

  “Jade—” Willow broke her biscuit in two, biting one half, giving the other to Roscoe.

  “It only destroys your self-esteem, not to mention how physically dangerous it is. Now that I have Max, I wish I’d never been with anyone else. Those experiences don’t matter or help. At all.”

  “So the sinner becomes the preacher.” Roscoe scooted closer to Willow and dropped his chin on her foot. She handed over a whole sausage link.

  “More like the fool becomes wise. I’m not judging you, Willow.”

  “I know I act all crazy sometimes, but when I stop moving, it’s like I can’t breathe.”

  “Was it awful after I left for college?” Jade never asked before because she didn’t want to know. She had enough guilt, thank you very much.

  “Granny was my mother, Jade. She took good care of me until she died. We had some good times.” The tip of Willow’s nose reddened. “I miss her.”

  “Yeah, me too. I’m sorry I left you, Wills. But I had to get out of Prairie City in the worst way.”

  “It’s okay, I understood.” She peered at Jade. “Beryl’s your only parent, Jade. I have Mike, but Beryl is all you and Aiden have.”

  “As parents go. But I have you and Aiden. And now Max and the Bensons.”

  “You are going to be the most beautiful bride, Jade. Inside and out.”

  “I hope Max thinks so.”

  “Are you nervous? I’d be petrified.”

  Jade pictured Max, the reverend, Willow, Mama, Daphne, Margot, and the Bensons. She pressed her hand over her middle where the ache always used to be.

  “It’s about faith, Willow, and I’ve already taken the leap. I’m in midair, doing a somersault, believing love will catch me if I miss my mark.”

  Thirty

  First Baptist Congregation, November 14, 5:30 p.m.

  In the bridal room off the large slate and marble foyer, Jade waited with Roscoe. It was Betsy’s idea to dress him up in a doggy tux. Jade refused until she saw him in a bow tie, wagging his tail as if he understood it made him part of the wedding ceremony.

  Betsy shooed Willow, Daphne, and Margot out of the room to allow some
“peace and quiet time” for the bride.

  The air felt thick and heavy. Jade inhaled deep. She wondered if her heart would race today as though she were being chased by a thousand enemies. But so far, not even a flutter.

  Her gift from Max sparkled on her wrist—a diamond bracelet. His note made her heart well up and her eyes mist. “Diamonds are forever, so is my devotion to you. Always yours, Max.”

  The parking lot was filling up, and guests in formal attire hurried toward the sanctuary.

  “Jade-o?” The door creaked open.

  “Come in. Oh, you let them fix your hair.” Mama’s braid was coiled around the back of her head and adorned with baby’s breath. “You, with your flowers in your hair, look beautiful.”

  Mama stood back, smiling, eyes glistening. “Thank you for inviting me, Jade. If I’d have missed this, well . . . You are beautiful. Simply stunning.”

  “It took a beauty team to get me like this.”

  “Max’s eyes are going to fall on the floor.”

  “I hope not. He has to drive me to my honeymoon.”

  “Paps and Granny would be very proud.”

  “I hope they’re watching.” Jade touched the spot on her neck where the medallion usually laid.

  “Can we sit a moment?” Mama motioned to the long white couch.

  Jade pointed to the back of her dress. “I don’t want to wrinkle.”

  “I’ve done something.” Mama remained standing, wringing her hands, her brown eyes glossy. “I thought I was supposed to . . . now but I’m not so sure.”

  “What did you do?” After the past three weeks, Mama’s news didn’t rattle her much.

  “I figure you won’t kill me on your wedding day.”

  “Mama . . .”

  Aiden poked his head inside. “Hey—”

  “Is it time already?” Jade whirled to see the clock. Betsy promised a five-minute warning.

  “Mom, he’s here,” Aiden said.

  “Who’s here?” Jade said.

  “Your dad, Jade.” Mama’s smiled wobbled. “I called him and suggested he might regret missing his daughter’s wedding. Oh, I went too far, didn’t I? Stepped over my bounds. He said I shouldn’t butt in, and he refused to come without an invitation from the bride, but . . .” Mama gripped Jade’s hands with a growing boldness. “I can’t face chemo and leukemia knowing I’m your only parent. He’s been a shabby excuse for a father, but still, he is your dad. You remember him a bit, don’t you?”