The Perfect Son

by Kyion S. Roebuck

  “If it makes you feel better about the situation, you can watch us from here. You won’t be able to hear anything, but you’ll be able to observe,” he said, while revealing a secret room with a two-way mirror. Kelly looked around the room, and then turned to stare at Cody, who was quietly sitting in front of Dr. Cruson’s desk.

  “Very well. As for the writings?” Kelly asked.

  “I’ll give you those of most concern,” Dr. Cruson said.

  Hurriedly, he left the room, rifled through his file cabinet, gave Kelly the papers, and then returned to Cody.

  “Okay, now we can have each other’s undivided attention. How have you been feeling? Your mother has informed me that you’ve had quite an eventful weekend.”

  “Yes, she says I have, but she won’t go into detail with me. Even so, I know that something is going on,” Cody said, and a dejected expression flashed across his face. Dr. Cruson didn’t miss it.

  “Why do you say that?” he asked.

  “I don’t know how exactly, but I know something is wrong. No matter how much I sleep, I always wake up tired, if I even can wake up.”

  “You’re having problems waking up?”

  “Yes. It only just started happening. Sometimes I’ll try to awaken, but I can’t no matter how hard I attempt it. It’s a frightening feeling, so I just let myself fall back to sleep to try again later.”

  “I see.”

  Dr. Cruson knew precisely what Cody was describing, because he had experienced it many times himself: sleeper paralysis. He most certainly never heard of it being paired with an alter ego, however.

  “When you return to sleep, do you dream?”

  “I do, actually. Every time I can’t wake up, I always dream that I’m in some place that I’ve never visited before. It’s always the same place.”

  “Interesting. If I give you a pen and a sheet of paper, do you think you’ll be able to recall the details of this place?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Wordlessly, Dr. Cruson handed Cody his personal notepad and special pen, and immediately the boy began writing. Dr. Cruson thought it would be a quick affair, but once Cody turned the page and kept going, Dr. Cruson realized that he had lots to say, so he quietly excused himself, and headed to the secret room. He found Kelly with her head bowed, carefully wiping her eyes.

  “I never knew he felt this way. I have so much I want to say to him, but he doesn’t remember any of this,” she said as she sat the papers down and stared at her son through the glass. He had been writing for several minutes and didn’t appear to be letting up anytime soon.

  “What is he writing?” she asked.

  “Cody has informed me that there have been periods during this past weekend where he felt as if he couldn’t wake up. He also informed me that he has a reoccurring dream during these episodes, so I’ve asked him to record everything he can remember from the dream,” Dr. Cruson said.

  “Do you think those periods coincide with his bouts of insanity?”

  “I am uncertain. Speaking with him has given me more questions than answers, so while he is getting tested over the next few days, I will be researching his condition. I’ll be honest with you, dissociative identity disorder is a large area of debate in the psychotherapy community, and I have always been in the camp that denied its existence due to me never personally encountering a single case in nearly thirty years in the field. If there is such a disorder, however, I would have no choice but to consider it,” Dr. Cruson said while staring intensely at Cody through the glass.

  “Why do you say that? What is it about Cody that’s making you consider it?” Kelly asked, but Dr. Cruson just answered her question with a question.

  “Correct me, if I am wrong, but Cody is left-handed, right?”

  “Yes, the same as me and his father,” Kelly said while looking at Dr. Cruson. Not breaking his gaze, he nodded towards the glass, drawing Kelly’s attention back to Cody. He was still filling the paper with neat, decorative cursive writing, a skill Kelly didn’t know Cody had. He was also doing it with his right hand.

  ***

  “Thanks again for gathering all of his missed assignments, Mrs. Walker. I really do appreciate it,” Kelly said as she leafed through the hefty stacks of paper.

  “Oh Mrs. Winters, it is my pleasure to help in any way, and all of Cody’s teachers feel the same. He is a great student, and I feel terrible that he has fallen ill again. Do you know when he will be returning to us?” Mrs. Walker asked, looking genuinely concerned.

  “I’m unsure, but I do know he will be out the remainder of this week and at least a part of the next. They are running a few more tests on him tomorrow, and then I will be meeting with his doctors on Monday.”

  “I see. My prayers are with you. Please keep me posted.”

  “Thank you and I will,” Kelly said, before walking off in deep thought.

  For the past three days, Cody had been kept out of school due to his rapidly deteriorating condition. Not only was he still switching personas every morning and night, he was now collapsing and having seizures without a moment’s notice. So far, all of the medical tests had come back negative, but no one could deny that something was seriously wrong. His physicians were convinced that the seizures and lapses in consciousness were due to sleep deprivation, but no one could explain his personality shifts, which were causing the sleep deprivation in the first place.

  ‘They’re all a bunch of fucking idiots,’ Kelly thought as she drove from the visitor’s parking lot to the main entrance. Never before had she felt more helpless than she did then. Though she was doing everything in her power to make everything right, she felt like even more of her boy was slipping through her fingers each second.

  ‘I won’t let this beat us. I will fix this.’

  Right at that moment, the person she had been waiting for emerged from the building. She had decided days ago that while the doctors were sitting around scratching their heads and talking in circles, she was going to question the person that first recognized the changes in her son.

  “Sean, over here!” Kelly yelled as she stepped out of her car so that the boy could see her. Quickly, he walked over, looking slightly confused.

  “Hey Mrs. Win, what are you doing here? I thought my mom was picking me up,” he said, making no moves to get into the car.

  “I told her not to bother considering I was already here. Besides, part of the deal for you to attend school out here is me driving you home,” Kelly said.

  A shrug later and Sean climbed into the passenger seat. After a few minutes of silence, especially with only the two of them riding in the car, he felt a bit strange.

  “How is Cody?” he asked quietly.

  “He’s alive.”

  With that statement, the silence intensified, making Kelly let out a loud sigh.

  “Actually, that’s the main reason I volunteered to drive you home. I wanted to talk to you about something you mentioned a few months ago. You said that the Cody we’re seeing wasn’t really Cody. What did you mean by that? Did he say or do something strange or out the ordinary that day?” she asked, and Sean averted his gaze, not responding even after several moments. Kelly tried to be patient, but patience was never her strong suit.

  “Sean, please tell me. If Cody did or said anything unusual, no matter how small or insignificant, I need to know,” she added, tightly gripping the steering wheel. Sean then blew out a long breath, finally turning to address her.

  “The last time I was over, it was about a week before classes started. He was saying something about not being happy with the classes he had selected before the accident, so he was planning to switch out his athletics classes for orchestra. I thought the whole thing was strange, but it wasn’t really surprising considering how much he had changed, so I just ignored him. Then out of nowhere he fell to his knees and started clutching his head as though he was in pain, so I ran over to him to see if he was okay. He then looked up at me, and I saw something I hadn’t seen in mont
hs. He knew me. I could see it in his eyes and in his face that he recognized me, and I had thought that his memories had returned. But then…

  I can’t really explain it. A second later, it was gone. It was like he had been there, and then something switched off in his brain. I’ve heard of fleeting memories, but I had never seen anything like that. One moment he was lying on the floor, screaming and holding his head, then the next he was walking around as though nothing happened. It scared the hell out of me, and I didn’t know what to think. One thing that I did know, after seeing the real Cody, I knew that whoever I had been talking to before wasn’t him. Mrs. Win, that’s not Cody,” he said, practically willing her to believe him.

  Kelly was looking at him strangely, but didn’t say anything. A part of her, the part of her that was grasping at straws, wanted to entertain his musings. The larger part, however, felt ridiculous for ever thinking that an imaginative fifteen-year-old boy could tell her what was wrong with her son, and it was clearly written across her face.

  “You think I’m crazy don’t you?” Sean asked, but didn’t give her a chance to respond. “I knew you would; that’s why I never said anything. I knew you’d just think that I was a dumb kid, and maybe I am, but one thing I do know is Cody. He’s been my brother since forever. We’ve been through everything together. If we didn’t have each other, neither one of us would be alive today.”

  ‘Not alive?’

  That statement had taken Kelly aback.

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “When Cody and I first met, we hated each other. He used to try to bully me, because he said that I was a crybaby that needed toughening up. As revenge, I would do things, and then set it up to make it look like he did it to get him in trouble. That went on for years. Then one day during summer school, a group of boys, the Morris brothers, decided to join in. They pushed me into the deep end of the pool, and I started drowning. I had been ashamed that I had never learned, so I didn’t tell anyone; big mistake! They got scared and ran away, while my friends just watched. The lifeguard was on break, and I was sure I would be dead by the time she returned, so I thought that was it, but then Cody jumped in and pulled me out. He was the only one that bothered to help, so I ditched my other so-called friends and made him my best friend.

  After that, Cody was always there when I needed him. He secretly taught me how to swim, helped me keep my C average and forced me to hang out with him and his dad when he realized I didn’t have one. He was great. It always made me feel like he was a better friend to me than I was to him, and I always wondered if there was some way I could pay him back.

  I got my chance the summer before we started high school, but honestly, I would have rather spent the rest of my life owing him than experiencing that. You see, Cody was having a really hard time with the divorce. He hid it from everybody else, but he would always talk to me about it. On that particular day, he kept saying how he had screwed up. I tried to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but he wasn’t listening. He said that his dad once told him that you were the brains and brawn of the outfit, Mr. Win was the heart, and Cody was the glue that you kept you all together. Since you all had fallen apart, Cody took it as though he had failed to do his part. I tried to tell him that Mr. Win didn’t mean it like that, but he just got pissed, and said, ‘Fuck this,’ before walking into the bathroom.

  I waited for a minute, but when he didn’t come back out, I looked in, and he was swallowing an entire bottle pills. So, I kicked his ass and made him throw them up. He then just sat on the floor crying. I knew then that he was broken, and I wasn’t enough to fix him. That’s why I told you that he needed help. Now, I don’t know if anybody can help him,” Sean said quietly.

  Frozen, Kelly joined in the silence. It was one thing to read that her son had had suicidal thoughts, but to hear that he had made an attempt was another matter. All she could think was, ‘How the hell did I not know any of this?’

  “Sean, thank you for telling me that. I wish you had told me sooner, but better late than never. Is there anything else that I need to know?”

  “No, nothing that I can think of.”

  “What about the day of the accident? I know that you were the last one to speak to him, because he was headed towards Ferndale.”

  “No, I didn’t speak to him, but he did send me this.”

  When Kelly glanced over she saw Sean quickly scrolling through his text messages. He then handed her the phone. Between glances between the road and the phone she read:

  Sean, man, please tell me you’re at home

  Yeah, I’m home. What’s up?

  You're not going to believe this shit. This can't be fucking real. I can't deal with this. I have to get out of here. I'm on my way. Don't go anywhere.

  Alright, I’ll be here

  It’s getting late. Have you left, yet?

  Bro, are you still coming?

  “I think about that text constantly. He never made it to my house that day, so I never found out what he was so pissed about. I now wonder if I’ll ever find out,” Sean said as he took his phone, reread the message, and then put it back into his pocket. “Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Win.”

  That brought Kelly out of her thoughts. She hadn’t realized that they had already arrived. She had made the entire trip on autopilot.

  “It was no problem. Do you need a ride tomorrow?”

  “No, but thanks anyway. My mom will be picking me up the rest of the semester. After that, I’m transferring back to Ferndale. I’m only attending school in Bloomfield Hills because Cody asked me to, but now… I can’t be around him. All I feel is hurt and pissed off and it’s affecting my grades. I’ve never been good at school, but that doesn’t mean I want to be a dropout. Sorry I wasn’t more of a help today,” Sean said while grabbing his bag.

  “Actually, you’ve been a great help, and a great friend to my son. Thank you,” Kelly said as she grabbed his arm. Her disdain for him and Cody’s friendship had never been a secret, so Sean was openly surprised.

  “Uh, you’re welcome. See you around, Mrs. Win,” he said with uncertainty, and then got out of the car. At that moment, Kelly could see him for exactly what he was, a fifteen-year-old boy, the same as her son. She had spent so much time despising him that she had forgotten that he was just a boy.

  ***

  “Mrs. Winters, I sincerely apologize for not being able to meet with you yesterday. I had a family emergency that required my presence,” Dr. Cruson said as he walked over to Kelly and Cody. They both looked worse for wear, but the change in Cody was especially pronounced.

  “It’s not a problem at all Dr. Cruson. Cody and I completely understand,” Kelly said plainly as both she and Cody stood.

  “How are you feeling today?” Dr. Cruson asked as he turned his attention to his patient.

  “I’m feeling okay, I suppose.”

  Dr. Cruson could see that that statement was hopeful at best, but didn’t get the chance to push the issue because Kelly injected.

  “Cody, there is a beverage machine down the hall. Please grab me a small hot chocolate. Feel free to get yourself something as well if you like,” she said as she handed him several dollars. The minute he was out of sight, she broke down.

  “I can’t do this anymore. Dr. Cruson, I can’t take any more of this. I’m trying to be strong for Cody, but I can’t keep this up, especially not now with him breaking down.”

  “Kelly, what has happened?”

  “What hasn’t happened? My god, everything keeps going so wrong for him, but he always puts on a brave face. I should have known that it was only a matter of time before it fell, but I wasn’t prepared. I was so not prepared,” Kelly said while shaking her head, trying to gather her thoughts.

  “Last night, I noticed that he kept looking for excuses not to go to bed. When I asked him about it, he said that he wasn’t tired, but that was clearly a lie. If I had blown on him too hard, he would have fallen over, so I ordered him to bed, and he immediatel
y started crying. I tried to calm him down, but he just grabbed me, and kept repeating that he was sorry.

  He said that he was sorry for being a bad son and not being able to remember. He seems to think that his amnesia is the cause of all of this. I tried to tell him that it wasn’t, but he just kept crying and apologizing. He then said that every time he tries to remember anything from the past, he feels intense fear, and then guilt, shame and regret, so I told him not to force it, but he’s not listening. He said that he won’t stop trying even if it kills him, because he doesn’t want the other Cody to hurt me. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?” she said, and then took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself.

  “The only thing that you can do is reassure him that everything will be alright. It is essential that he doesn’t feel inferior or fearful of these personality shifts, because if it is in fact another identity, it could potentially strengthen its presence.”

  “Strengthen its presence!”

  “Yes. You must understand that if this is truly a second identity, then it is as much a part of Cody as the one that just left the room. That is why I had you meet me at a hospital instead of my office. It is time that I meet this other Cody, and considering that he is a wildcard and we do not understand what is causing his presence, it is best to do it in a safe and adequately staffed environment that has a medical doctor on hand. Now, let’s put on our braves faces. Your son is coming down the hall.”

  Quickly, Kelly wiped her eyes, and then put on her sunglasses for good measure, while Dr. Cruson delivered a warm smile to the approaching boy.

  “Now that the guest of honor has returned, we can get down to business. Are you ready to get started?” he asked, and Cody gave a firm nod.

  Dr. Cruson then led them down the hall to room 106 where a petite, no-nonsense looking woman was waiting for them.