King 03 - Restless

by Kandle, Tawdra

  “What about dinner?” My mom rose to her feet and stood looking down at me, hands on her hips.

  “Not hungry.” I slipped past her to the bathroom and closed the door behind me with finality. When I returned to my room, my mother had gone.

  I got back into bed and was asleep again within moments.

  “Hello, Tasmyn. Long time, no see.”

  I struggled to open my eyes. I was back at Marica’s house, sitting on the straight wooden chair in the same room in which we’d worked this afternoon. And I wasn’t alone.

  Nell was sitting in the chair opposite me. Her long dark hair billowed around her shoulders, and her eyes looked at me expectantly, with perhaps just a bit of amusement.

  “Nell. I was thinking about you today… which is probably why I’m dreaming about you now.”

  “Dreaming? Is that what you think?”

  “Isn’t that what this is?”

  “It was… beneficial for you to believe that last year when we visited. But now I’m thinking you’re ready to face the truth.”

  I snorted, shifting in the chair. “Truth? When have you ever concerned yourself with truth, Nell?”

  “I’ve never lied to you, Tasmyn. Well… not since I had to lure you into the woods that day, but even then I didn’t really lie to you. I just led you toward some erroneous information.”

  “Okay. Regardless, excuse me if I don’t consider you an entirely reliable source.”

  “Tasmyn, what’s happened to us? I thought we had come to some sort of understanding last fall.”

  I twisted in my seat and drew one leg up beneath me. “What I came to understand was that you were only trying to keep me from Marica. You were jealous of my relationship with her, and you wanted me to be suspicious, to pull away from her. It didn’t work. So why are you here now?”

  “Oh, I’m just checking on you, making sure you don’t forget that I’ve warned you.” She glanced around the room. “Do you notice where we are tonight? Can you guess why?”

  I frowned, thinking. “You said once… you said that it had to be a place we had both been. The cafeteria, the chemistry room, the clearing at Lake Rosu… so I guess us being here now, together, means that at some point you came to Marica’s house.”

  “Of course I was here. More importantly, the fact that we’re both here tonight tells me that you have now visited this room.”

  I looked away from Nell, unable to meet her eyes. She laughed without any humor.

  “Did you think I wouldn’t be checking on you? I’ve been attempting this meeting periodically, wondering when she’d finally bring you here. Each time you failed to… appear, I was relieved. But now here you are.”

  “Why does it matter to you, Nell? I’m studying with Marica, I’ll admit that. But she’s not what you think she is. I’m just learning to control my power, to expand it.”

  Nell leaned forward. Her arms were free tonight, and she rested her elbows on her knees. In the dim light, she looked about twelve years old.

  “I’ve been trying to tell you this, Tasmyn. Trying to explain that she cannot be trusted. Don’t you see—this is how she drew me in. She didn’t start out by telling me that I’d end up in the woods holding a knife to someone’s throat.”

  “Nell, I don’t want to hear this. Marica told me what happened. I understand that you were hurt—”

  “You understand nothing.” Suddenly her voice was steely. “You’re hearing only what Marica wants you to hear. And maybe in the beginning you were skeptical, but now you’re buying into what she says. That is extremely dangerous.”

  I couldn’t look at her. Nell’s words resonated with that deep uneasiness I’d been ignoring for days.

  “Tasmyn.” Her voice gentled. “I don’t have an agenda. I’ll probably be here in this hospital for the rest of my life. From this vantage point, I see things far more clearly than I ever could in King.”

  “But I could never hurt anyone. I’m just learning how to use my abilities, I’m not—”

  “To what end?” Nell interrupted. “Have you asked Marica why she’s so interested in teaching you and what she intends to do when you’ve mastered all these skills? That’s one of your weaknesses, Tasmyn. You never ask the right questions.”

  I stood. “Nell, I’m leaving. You’ve made your point. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

  She rose as well, and I noticed for the first time that she was wearing some kind of loose pajamas.

  “All right, Tasmyn. I’ll release you know. But remember that I’ll be watching. And I’m not giving up.”

  With that, she closed her eyes and the room was dark. When I could see again, there was sunlight slanting through the shutters in my own bedroom. It was morning.

  Tasmyn, it’s me… again. I didn’t hear from you last night, so I called Amber. I know, that probably makes you mad, but I had to know. She said you were okay as far as she knew, but I could tell from her tone that she’s worried about you, too. I know you said you needed space, but please, please, don’t do anything… well, reckless. Keep away from Ms. Lacusta. If you’ve got to stretch your wings or whatever I get that, but just don’t go crazy. And now you’re even more angry because it sounds like I’m telling you what to do. Okay. It’s only because I love you, Tas. Call me.

  I listened to Michael’s two voicemail messages on the way to school. My finger hovered over the send key for a moment, knowing it would redial the last call I’d received. He would be in class; I could leave him a short message, telling him I was fine and I—and I what? Loved him? Missed him? Was barely hanging onto my sanity without him?

  In the end, I shoved the phone into my bag. If Michael had talked with Amber, he had gotten the reassurance he needed. And I couldn’t risk talking to him, not yet. My strong part might have carried me through the initial break-up, but I wasn’t sure even my most jaded self could handle hearing his voice again on a live phone call, if he happened to answer.

  When I saw Amber at her locker, I paused, wondering if I should ask her about Michael’s call. I didn’t have to, because as soon as she saw me, her expression changed and her cheeks flushed.

  “Tasmyn, I’m so glad to see you. Michael called me last night. I didn’t know what to say to him, but he was really worried about you. I hope you’re not mad at me.” She ventured a glance at me from under her lashes.

  I sighed heavily. “No, I’m not mad. I knew he called. He left a message on my phone. Thanks for telling him I’m okay.”

  Amber’s mouth twisted a little. “I wasn’t really sure I was telling him the truth. You’ve been acting so strange.”

  I pasted a smile on my face and patted her shoulder. “You did the right thing. Don’t worry.”

  She wasn’t convinced, but she dropped the subject.

  The next few days passed quietly. I didn’t see Marica at school, and as I paid more attention to Amber, she began to relax and believe I wasn’t hiding anything from her. At home, I concentrated on reassuring my parents in subtle ways, making conversation at dinner and chattering brightly about my day at school. Just like Amber, they seemed relieved and eager to believe that everything was going to be all right.

  I wished I could convince myself so easily. My own misgivings combined with the latest Nell dream were making me a little nuts. I was preoccupied, second-guessing myself and every decision I’d made recently.

  By Friday at lunch, I was brooding, even while I kept up a steady stream of chatter with Amber. And then I heard my name—not spoken out loud, but in someone’s thoughts, nearby.

  I glanced around and noticed that the junior girls who had begun sitting with us at the beginning of the school year were looking at me surreptitiously while they whispered to each other. One of them caught my eye. Bolder than the others, she spoke to me directly.

  “Hey, Tasmyn… we heard that you and Michael Sawyer broke up over Christmas. Is that really true?”

  My breath hitched. This wasn’t exactly unexpected; in a small town like King,
certain kinds of secrets were few and far between. But since no one other than Amber and Rafe had mentioned it so far, I had begun to hope that I might stay under the radar. Obviously not.

  “I…” Getting words out was suddenly a problem. And there was an odd metallic rattling coming from somewhere. My anxiety ratcheted up another notch. I took a deep breath and tried again.

  “No, we’re not seeing each other right now,” I managed. I began to say something else, make some kind of explanation, and then it occurred to me that I didn’t owe that to anyone. Suddenly I was more than annoyed; I was angry. How dare these silly girls pry into my personal business? What right had they to ask me anything?

  The rattling increased, and my eyes dropped to the table. The silverware on the trays was vibrating, seemingly moving of its own accord, as though someone were using a sledgehammer somewhere near us. It reminded me of mild earthquakes I’d experienced in California. As I watched, the utensils began moving more violently. The junior girls were staring at the forks and knives, too, and I heard Amber’s small gasp.

  And then a hand dropped onto my shoulder. “Tasmyn.” With difficulty I pulled my gaze from the table and looked up at Rafe. His expression was indecipherable, and the buzzing in my head was blocking his thoughts. His eyes fastened on mine, and he spoke again, low, for my ears only. “That’s enough. Come on.”

  He took my arm, gently but firmly, and pulled me to my feet. We were out in the deserted walkway before I knew what was happening.

  “What was that?” Rafe’s voice was still low, but now it was also furious. “Are you crazy?”

  That snapped me out of my numb reverie. I was beginning to resent all these people questioning my sanity.

  “What are you talking about?” I whispered back as I pulled my arm away from his grasp.

  “That little display in there. The rattling silverware. What was next—were you going to pin those girls to their chairs with the forks? Or just wave the knives around? You were out of control.”

  “I wasn’t doing anything.” My protest was feeble even to my own ears.

  Rafe swore softly and rubbed a hand over his face. “We can’t talk about this here.” He wheeled around and I thought he was going to walk away, but then he turned back to me abruptly.

  “We’re going out tonight. On a date. Just the two of us.”

  My mouth fell open. “A-a what?”

  “A date. I’ll pick you up at seven. It’s Friday night, right? We’ll… I don’t know, go to a movie. Something.”

  I was beginning to recover from whatever had happened in the cafeteria, but Rafe’s words were making my head spin. “What do you mean? First of all, isn’t the idea to ask someone on a date—not tell them that they’re going? And second—I’m not going on a date. I’m not dating anyone.” Tears sprung into my eyes and I blinked them back furiously. It was the combination of those nosy junior girls and now Rafe, both reminding me that I didn’t have Michael anymore.

  “Oh, yes, you are. Unless you’d like me to share with your parents about your extracurricular activities with a certain chemistry teacher, that is.”

  When I sputtered and cast him what I hoped was an outraged and innocent look, he snorted. “Yes. I know. We’ll talk about it tonight, just you and me. Or, if you want to play it the other way, I’ll talk with your mom and dad.”

  The earlier fury blinded me again, and all around us the locker doors began to tremble on their hinges. I closed my eyes and drew in a shaky breath, trying to find calm.

  “Fine,” I heard myself answer. “I’ll be ready.” And then before anything else went horribly wrong, I walked away as quickly as I could.

  Hey, Tas. So the first week back at school is over. Can’t really believe I got through it. I hope everything is going okay with you. I miss you like crazy. I dream of you every night, and waking up is the hardest thing. Well… the weekend is here. I’m gonna be holed up studying, so if you want to… call me. I love you.

  I wasn’t quite sure how to get ready for a date I didn’t want. I sulked all the way home and slammed around the empty house muttering to myself. When I heard my parents in the driveway, I retreated to my room and attempted to do the little bit of homework assigned over the weekend.

  At dinner, I pushed around the spaghetti on my plate and tried to listen to the conversation. I knew I had to tell my mom and dad about my plans for the evening, but I was dreading it.

  “So,” I began when there was a lull, “if it’s okay with you, I think I’m going out tonight.”

  I could tell that they were stunned into silence. I think they had assumed that I would retreat back into my shell of quiet solitude after the break-up with Michael. This was new ground we were treading.

  “You mean with Amber?” My mom’s tone was hopeful.

  “Actually, no. With Rafe. He asked me to hang out tonight.” My parents had met Rafe a few times in the past few months; they knew that he had more or less saved my life last fall when Cara’s father had tried to lead me to redemption through drowning. They also knew that he possessed a particular talent of his own, and they were always cautious around him.

  My mom cast a quick glance at my dad. “Oh, well, that’s… nice, I guess. What are you going to do?”

  I tried to hide my discomfort. “I’m not sure. He mentioned… maybe a movie. I won’t be late, I promise.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be fun. It’s good for you to get out of the house.” I recognized my mother’s bright, cheerful-at-all-costs tone; my father said nothing, but I felt his unease. I took one more bite of pasta and then pushed back from the table, excusing myself.

  For the next half hour, I sat on my bed waiting. If I were expecting Michael, I would have been fussing with my hair, touching up my make-up and making sure my clothes were just right. I couldn’t muster any enthusiasm for whatever this evening with Rafe might hold.

  When the doorbell rang, I jumped as though electrocuted and sprinted to the door. My mother stood just outside the kitchen, her expression unreadable, although I picked up her concern and uncertainty. I managed a weak smile for her before I opened the front door.

  Rafe stood on the porch, looking nearly as uncomfortable as I felt, but projecting a heartbreaking eagerness beneath his aloof demeanor. He was dressed in loose fitting khakis and a light green polo shirt. His dark hair was more carefully combed than I had ever seen it. I felt a stab of guilt, remembering that I hadn’t even bothered to look in the mirror before I’d come out. For Rafe, this was obviously a real date; for me, it was an exercise in blackmail.

  “Hi, Tas.” His voice belied the nerves beneath the cool surface. His eyes skimmed me up and down, and apparently, he didn’t mind my lack of primping. He glanced over my shoulder and spied my mother.

  “Hello, Mrs. Vaughan.” This time his tone was respectful.

  “Rafe. It’s nice to see you again,” my mom answered. “Tasmyn, are you going to make him stand at the door there all night?”

  I didn’t even turn around. “We’re leaving right now, Mom.”

  “Tas, don’t be silly. We have time for me to talk to your mother.” Rafe placed his hands on my arms and gently nudged me out of the way as he stepped into the house.

  “What are you two planning to do? Tasmyn mentioned a movie?” My mom was trying to be social; I could feel her struggling not to think about how easy everything was with Michael. I bit my lip and worked harder to block her vibes.

  “Actually, I found out that there’s going to be a band playing on the green downtown. It’s such a nice night, I thought we might go and listen to them, and then maybe have ice cream on the way home.” It sounded like the pen-ultimate small-town date, and I had to choke down a snort of derision. King was about as far from a typical small-town as it got.

  “Well, that sounds just lovely. I won’t hold you up. Have a good time.” My mother’s smile was actually more relaxed and genuine now.

  “Okay. I’ll be home by midnight?” I named what was usually my curfe
w when Michael and I went out.

  My mom hesitated only a moment before she nodded. “Have fun,” she repeated. “Be careful.”

  I grabbed a sweater from the back of a nearby chair and ducked out the door. Rafe followed me in silence as we walked toward his car, a fairly new red sports model. I felt another pang as I missed the Mustang.

  Rafe carefully opened the passenger door and stepped aside to allow me to climb into the car. Only when I was settled and seatbelted did he close the door and stride to the driver’s side.

  “Okay,” I said as he turned the key in the ignition. “Where are we really going?”

  He looked at me in confusion. “What do you mean? I told you, we’re going down to the green to hear the band.”

  “Seriously? Aren’t you going to drag me off some place to interrogate me?”

  Rafe rolled his eyes as the car purred to life and he pulled onto the street. “Tasmyn, you just don’t get it. I’m worried about you. Amber’s worried about you. I want to talk about what’s going on with Ms. Lacusta, yes, but I also thought it might be nice for us to… have a little time together.”

  I crossed my arms across my chest. “I told you, I’m not interested in dating. I like you, Rafe—or I usually do, when you’re not coercing me into doing something I don’t want to do. But I’m sorry. I don’t like you—like that.”

  I felt the brief flare of hurt that flamed across his mind, and Rafe’s hands tightened on the wheel. “I know that. I’m not stupid. But what’s wrong with two friends spending time together?”

  I was about to fling back a retort, but something stopped me. Instead, I answered him thoughtfully. “Nothing at all. If that’s what this is, if you just want to hang out the way we did last fall, then I guess I’m grateful. I’m feeling pretty alone right now.”

  He didn’t answer, and in fact the rest of the short drive to the middle of town was silent. We found a parking spot not too far from the green around which King was built, and Rafe jumped out of the car to open my door for me before I could even touch for the handle. After I climbed out, he reached into the backseat and pulled out a red and white checked blanket. At my questioning look, I heard his reply even though he didn’t really answer me.