The Iron Seal

by J. M. Briggs

  “I understand wanting her safe,” Alex said softly. “But you’re all she has Bran; you can’t take that from her.” She swallowed, and her eyes tracked a speck of dust in the air as she avoided looking at him. Bran stayed still and didn’t take it personally. “If my mother… I wouldn’t have done it. I wouldn’t have taken one of her children from her. But my brothers-I already cost them our parents-”

  “That wasn’t your fault, Alex,” Bran said quickly. Reaching over, he took her hand and squeezed it. The blank expression remained on her face. “You didn’t cause it.”

  “They were killed because Arthur wanted to hurt me.” Then she shrugged, as if he couldn’t see tears starting to gather in her eyes. “And I’m working on forgiving myself for that. I wonder if it would have been better to do the memory thing before, but… selfishly I’m glad that I got to have a few more years seeing them.”

  “That’s not selfish,” Bran said. “You cast the blood spell, Alex. You did what you could to protect them.” Sighing, he squeezed her hand again, now for his comfort. “And I’m wondering now if I should ask Morgana to relocate my mother.” There, he’d managed to say it. “She’d be safer.”

  “Don’t be in a hurry to give her up,” Alex said. “It hurts. Even knowing that my brothers are alive out there hurts. I can never see them again. And Even if I saw them, they’d have no idea I was their sister. Everything that I was to them is gone. But they still have each other and their whole lives ahead of them. It would be different for your mother.”

  “But it still happened. Everything you lived through with your brothers still happened.”

  “Yes, it still happened.” Alex shook her head. “I’m sorry, Bran. You asked me a clear question, but I’m not sure how to answer it.” Turning towards him, she finally met his gaze. “Do what you think is best. But know that you can’t take it back. I do think I made the right decision, but it hurts.” Her gray eyes began to cloud up with tears, and her lower lip trembled. “It was hard, and I miss them.” Alex’s voice went higher and softer with barely restrained sobs. “I miss my parents, and I can’t even talk to my brothers about them.”

  “So… why?” The question felt too harsh, but the ache in his chest needed something.

  “I’ve gotten used to waking with the names of the dead on my tongue and tears in my ears,” Alex said. “I dream of those long gone almost every night. Guilt that isn’t mine builds up in my chest, and I didn’t want Matt and Eddy to join that parade of loss.” A dark laugh escaped her. “That was oddly poetic wasn’t it? Apparently, I’m a maudlin sort of writer. If I ever actually manage to write anything down.”

  “I’m sure you will one day,” Bran said. “Though I’d suggest writing all this as fiction.”

  She laughed; it was a brittle sound, like it had been ripped out of her. “Not this. I wouldn’t want to write about all of this. It keeps turning into a sad story. But at least I kept my brothers from dying.” Alex smiled and shook her head. “Morgana keeps hinting that she might be able to reverse it if I wanted. But I’m not changing my mind. I want them safe.”

  “People die all the time; there is no guarantee that nothing will happen to your brothers,” Bran reminded her carefully. “You can’t… count on this keeping them safe. If you do go and try to find them in the future, Alex, there’s no guarantee that something else wouldn’t have happened.”

  “True, life is random and dangerous. I know that, trust me,” Alex said. He didn’t like the knowing way she was almost smiling; it was sad and resigned. “Some friends and family have died in my wars, but many have died to natural causes and at young ages by our standards. You’re right that something could still happen to Matt and Eddy, but at least it won’t be because I was their sister.” Then Alex fell silent for a long moment, lost in thought while Bran lingered at her side. “I am sorry though; Matt and Eddy vanishing might have been what spurred Arthur on to attack you.”

  “Why attack me?” Bran asked. “I’d have figured Lance or Jenny would be better targets. They have no magic.”

  “Yes, but he may still think that they’ll betray me somehow,” Alex said. Tapping a finger against the windowsill, Alex studied Jenny and Lance. “I’m not sure what kind of belief Arthur has in forgiveness and people moving on. He may figure that I’m keeping instruments of my own doom close to me.”

  “Wow, you are a maudlin sort of writer,” Bran said, searching for some levity. Alex’s lips turned up into a smile, and she gave him a mock stern look. “Just agreeing with you, Alex. And you might be right. Part of the problem with Arthur is that we only knew the mask. I keep trying to predict him or figure out what I’d do, but…”

  “But we just don’t know him,” Alex said. “Sometimes he’s reasonable and strategic, but other times he grandstands and lashes out.”

  “I wonder if being made artificially half Sídhe messed with his brain development,” Bran said thoughtfully. When Alex looked at him curiously, he shrugged. “I mean, Merlin was born that way, and Morgana was made that, but she was at least a little older and that ritual was done mostly by Sídhe magic. I wonder if something about the Iron Chain made it unstable.”

  “Maybe, but maybe the Chain had nothing to do with it.” Alex frowned and glared at the horizon. “I don’t remember a lot about Medraut, but I do remember him killing me. He wanted power and thought that I was destroying the valuable bronze trade. He wasn’t completely wrong about that, but he just didn’t value the human lives involved. He didn’t care that the Sídhe were taking humans, including children, as slaves. And he was good at hiding his real allegiance then too. All it was ever about for him was taking over the area and having the bronze trade under his thumb. My- Arto’s presence and fight against the Sídhe changed that.”

  A shaky sound escaped Alex and she shook her head. “I never saw it. Looking back, there were hint, but I didn’t see it. And I didn’t see Arthur either. Apparently, I’m a horrible judge of character.” She laughed, it was a fragile sound that slid down Bran’s spine. “I let him get close again! Back then, he killed my father, but this time he got both my mother and my father.”

  “Alex, don’t talk like that.” Bran stepped closer and reached uncertainly for Alex. Was he supposed to hug her? He wasn’t sure how to react. Guilt and grief were flickering in Alex’s eyes. “Medraut was a piece of shit and betrayed his family. Lives, real people, mattered more than his position, and he couldn’t see that. That wasn’t Arto’s fault. And in this life, Merlin and Morgana were fooled too. That’s not your fault.”

  She nodded a little, but her eyes were getting glassier. She swallowed. He recognized that swallow. Something had tipped over the edge. There was guilt over making her cry even as a rational part of him said that maybe this was good. Tears escaped Alex, and a dry sob echoed in the small room.

  Wrapping his arms around Alex, Bran pulled her close and gently rocked her. Soft sobs reached his ears and his heart twisted. Words dried up in his mouth and he settled on making soft sounds to reassure her. Alex’s legs gave out. He carefully lowered her to the ground. Bran brought one hand up to gently hold her head.

  “It’ll be okay,” he whispered. “It’s okay to miss them. You love them, and you protected them. You have us, Alex. We’re your friends. We’re your family.”

  Alex hiccupped at the words, but her sobs calmed a little. Still tense, Bran tried to figure out if that had been the right or wrong thing to say. He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t going to get an answer to that one right now. Instead, he slowed his breathing and tried to calm his mind as he focused on comforting Alex.

  11

  Living Situation

  Living with so many roommates was a new experience for Alex. She’d had her own bedroom her whole life and had never had to share her space until freshman year. In fact she’d asked her parents to let her have a single dorm room, but they’d thought a roommate would be good for her. And of course she’d ended up with Jenny, who was the reincarnation of a past incarnation’s
wife. That hadn’t been a terrible housing situation, but the circumstances had been rough.

  Nicki had been a much easier roommate. Of course, they’d had separate bedrooms and only shared a common area. They had worked out a bathroom schedule fairly easily and were able to stay out of each other’s way. But in a house with herself, Nicki, Jenny, Avani, Lance, Bran, Aiden, and Timothy, it felt like they were edging into Brady Bunch territory. They had two full bathrooms and had set up a rough schedule of who showered when to make sure there was hot water for everyone and toilet access at all times. There was also a toilet and sink in the basement laundry room that helped matters.

  They were lucky in that everyone had their own space and an unspoken rule about privacy had taken hold. Timothy had taken over one of the kitchen cupboards and seemed very happy with the doll furniture that Jenny had bought for him. It was weird, but it worked. To Alex’s surprise it had been Lance who had broken down and called a ‘house meeting’ one week into them all living together to set up a chore wheel. Timothy was fantastic, but it wasn’t fair to expect their friendly Brownie to do everything. Again, weird, but it worked.

  Still, it was an adjustment. Living with so many people was new to all of them. There were moments when they got in each other’s way in the hallways when multiple people wanted to do laundry and occasional arguments over what to eat. None of that surprised Alex, and she had faith that they’d all adjust.

  It was Avani that surprised her. Alex wasn’t sure how to feel about the late addition. Alex liked her certainly, and there was a warm, happy feeling at the back of her mind when she thought about the magician. That was probably Lokpal, who was so thrilled to know that his family had lived on happily. Alex understood: she imagined that she’d feel the same way if down the road she learned that Matt or Eddy had children. Avani was clever and enjoyed the same sort of books and movies as Nicki, Aiden, and Bran. Plus, she’d brought some media from India that she enjoyed sharing and translating when necessary.

  Yet, she also could sit and talk about fashion and makeup with Jenny without it being a strain. While well-mannered and a touch older than them, she navigated her way through the group smoothly. She was friendly with everyone and had quickly adjusted to the realities of living with Timothy. Nicki’s behavior around her continued to be amusing. It was made even funnier by the fact that at first Nicki had been calm and flirty around Avani without any problem. It seemed that the more Nicki liked someone the more tongue-tied she became.

  Despite all this, Alex found Avani’s presence a little irritating. She knew rationally that she was being silly. Avani was loyal to the Iron Realm and had a great deal of respect for her as the Iron Soul. It was a hint of jealousy, and Alex knew it. She wasn’t Jenny’s closest friend in the group now. They were close, they had a connection, but Avani enjoyed online shopping with Jenny while she didn’t. Nicki spent a lot of time focused on Avani and Aiden enjoyed talking with her and teasing Nicki about her crush.

  The countdown to the start of classes weighed on the group. Alex was torn between relief that she’d have something to occupy her days once again and dread of something going wrong. Without a family to visit or a job, summer had dragged on. Even her favorite books hadn’t helped entertain her that much. Their newcomer had provided a temporary distraction, but Alex was beginning to get used to her and the new smells that came out of the kitchen on Avani’s nights to make dinner. Avani was pleasant and not as worn down as the rest of them. As she grew more comfortable and her manners became less practiced, Alex had to admit that she was nice to have around, even if was still a little irritating.

  “What are you doing?” Nicki asked. She looked at Alex as she lounged sideways in an armchair. “Other than destroying the new furniture.”

  “We can fix it with magic,” Alex said. “So that’s hardly a problem.”

  “Alright, that’s a fair point, but please tell me you aren’t brooding.”

  “I’m not brooding,” Alex said. “I was just thinking about things.”

  “Things?” Nicki raised an eyebrow and Alex raised one right back.

  “Don’t give me the eyebrow of expectation,” Alex said. “I can do it too. And if you must know I was thinking about Avani. It’s different having her here is all.”

  “Ah, she and Jenny are out shopping again.” Nicki sounded far too understanding. “Jenny loves you Alex, in a platonic way of course. But it’s probably nice having a real buddy again. Her relationship with the cheer squad never really recovered from the rumors about her causing Arthur to leave. He was one of the quarterbacks.”

  “Who probably used magic,” Alex grumbled. “Freshman don’t make varsity as the quarterback.”

  “You’re probably right,” Nicki agreed. “But that’s not the main point.”

  “I like her,” Alex said firmly. “I do; you don’t need to worry about that. It’s just different, and I have too much time to think… maybe I am brooding.” Shaking her head, Alex groaned. “I need classes to start. I need something! Maybe I should have gotten a job.”

  “Not a good idea if you might have to run out at any moment,” Nicki said. “Aiden and I at least work for family members who understand our need to vanish suddenly.”

  “I know.” Alex sighed and slumped down further in the armchair. “I’m just bored, I guess. Jenny and Avani are out shopping. Lance was going to the gym, and the boys are downstairs doing who knows what.” Bumping her head against the upholstery, Alex ignored Nicki’s soft giggle and shook her head. “Enough whining. Are you happy living here?”

  “It’s an adjustment,” Nicki said. She gave Alex a soft and warm smile. “It always is, but I think it will work out.”

  “Plus, you get to see Avani every day,” Alex said. That did it; Nicki blushed and then winced a little at her reaction. “I remember you calling dibs.” Nicki’s blush deepened, and the redhead groaned. “And you blush a lot more nowadays. When you first called dibs, I was expecting slightly more… assertive behavior.”

  “I know,” Nicki groaned. She dropped her head into her hands and groaned even louder. “It was easier when I first met her. Avani was gorgeous and knew about magic, but the more I get to know her the more… she’s just-”

  “Use your words, Nicki,” Aiden said. Alex turned in the chair to find Bran and Aiden watching them with a smile. She wasn’t sure when they’d come upstairs. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you shift behavior like this.” His tone was kind and curious as he strolled over to sit down in a chair. “What’s up, honey?”

  “Avani’s just even better than I thought at first,” Nicki admitted. She sank into herself and looked at the ground. “She likes a lot of the same things as me, is creative and wants to try new things with magic, has a sharp sense of humor, and is beautiful. I mean, she’s even more beautiful every time I see her! How does that work?”

  “Wow… you really like her.” Alex smiled gently and reached over to put an arm around Nicki’s shoulders. “For what it’s worth, I approve, and I think Lokpal does too.”

  “That doesn’t help,” Nicki mumbled. “But thanks. I just need to regain my courage and ask her out. But she’s even a grad student while I’m still an undergrad! It’s not fair! She’s just better-”

  “Do not finish that thought,” Aiden said. His voice was stern and serious as he stared Nicki down. “Do not. You are good enough for her. Yes, she’s a bit older and further along in school, but you’re smart and have a lot in common with her.”

  “Maybe,” Nicki said. “But India isn’t exactly the most gay-friendly place in the world. Even if Avani liked me…”

  “First, Avani is from a big city,” Alex said. “They are usually more progressive. Two, her family has already met you and liked you. Three, you’re a mage, so while yeah you two can’t have kids the normal way, but still, I bet they’d like having a mage in the family, and four like I said I totally approve, which has to count for something.”

  “I’m not trying to marry her,” Nick
i mumbled. “I just want to ask her out, but what is there to do in Ravenslake that she can’t do in Mumbai?”

  “Stargazing,” Bran said. Everyone looked up to find him lingering in the doorway. Shrugging, he offered them a sheepish smile. “Sorry to burst in, but maybe stargazing. Mumbai is a big city which means it has a lot of light pollution. I’ve seen Avani looking at the stars a few times now. If you got a tracker and some red lights, maybe a picnic basket, you could stargaze. Just be sure to do it before it gets too cold at night.”

  Nicki gaped at him, blinking with wide eyes. Then she jumped up and rushed forward to hug Bran. He made a sound of surprise while Nicki shifted from foot to foot in her excitement.

  “Bran, you are a genius!”

  “Not sure about that,” Bran said. “If I was, I’d know a lot more about how magic worked.”

  “Good idea, man,” Aiden said with an approving nod. “Though, have you ever been a date? Aren’t you asexual?”