I am Wolf (The Wolfboy Chronicles)

by Willow Rose

  Caspian took good care of me. First he found a flock of mice that he let me have, then he killed a goat and we both ate it, though Caspian let me have the most of the meat. Soon I caught the scent of a wild boar and together we hunted it down through the valley, each of us on either side of it. It was thrilling, exciting and fun. For a brief moment I forgot all about my possible addiction to human flesh, my family and even Catalina. We snapped our teeth at the boar and chased it mostly for the fun of it. Then finally I jumped its back, sank my teeth into its neck and it fell to the ground. It was still alive with me on top of it as it lay panting on the ground waiting for us to finish it off. I jumped down and let Caspian finish the kill. He lifted his head and sunk his fangs into its throat, then ripped out a huge chunk of meat. Then we both howled just before we feasted of the boar for hours.

  We traveled for two more days before we finally reached my old hometown.

  “Where do you want to go first?” Caspian asked.

  I looked at him knowing he knew the answer perfectly well. I stared in the direction of my father’s castle, that was where I really wanted to go, but I knew I couldn’t. I would only put my family in danger by showing up there. I didn’t know if the Iron Guard was searching for me, but I had the feeling they were. Officer Alexandru wasn’t a man who gave up that easily. Once he heard about all the dead soldiers at the train station he would know I had escaped. I was terrified of running into him again and I feared what he might do to the people I loved if he found me there.

  I turned my head away and looked at Caspian. His friendly eyes smiled and I knew that he understood my longing to see my family again.

  “I want to go back to where I last saw Catalina,” I said. “The farm where she was taken. I thought we might catch her scent from there.”

  Caspian nodded. “Good thinking. Her smell will be very strong there.”

  I lifted my head and smelled the air. “She is here not far away, I am sure, I just can’t seem to find the direction anymore. I need to pick up her track.”

  Caspian put his hand on my shoulder. “You know these woods better than I. You lead the way.”

  While we were walking through my old childhood forests I thought about how changed everything was. It wasn’t only me who had changed. Everything looked so different. The war had done that. It had changed towns, it had changed even the forest and it had especially changed the humans. We walked past several burned down farms and vast empty lands. We didn’t see any people. No people walking in the streets or driving carriages. There was no one on their way to the town’s market. When we occasionally spotted someone on a property they would immediately hide inside their houses.

  I sighed as we passed my childhood friend’s farm that had been burnt to the ground. Everything that used to be so alive, so flourishing, it was all dead and gone. The ground where the main building had been was nothing but a black spot. Some remains of a wall were still left, all charred. I wondered where he was, where his family was. Did they make it out in time? Or would they have been better off dying in that fire? I exhaled deeply and thought of Catalina and the vision I had of her in that dark room. She was tormented, she was in deep pain if she was in fact still alive. The distress I sensed coming from her felt like torture to me.

  I looked at Caspian and began wondering about my own mortality. I had been shot on several occasions and had taken a severe beating from Alexandru, yet I was stronger than ever. Caspian had lived for thousands of years. How much sorrow, how much torture had he had to endure? How many loved ones had he seen die? He had talked about dying. Did that mean he wasn’t immortal?

  Caspian sensed my wondering and stopped. He turned his head and looked at me. “Living the life of the wolf has its advantages and its downsides,” he said. “The good thing is that you cannot be killed by most things that can kill humans. But there are a few things you should be aware off. The lust for human flesh, you already know about, so I won’t go deeper into that. But there are other things that might kill you. A silver bullet can kill you. It is the worst of all deaths since it is a slow and extremely painful way to go. The silver goes into your bloodstream and one by one your organs shut off when the silver reaches them but you’re still awake and aware of what is happening. The silver will spread in your body and eat you up slowly within a couple of hours. Once it enters your body you can’t get it out. On another note you can also starve to death. The wolf is hungry and needs a lot of food and if it doesn’t get it you will die. If starved for too long the wolf will take over the human and take complete control and you will not turn back to your human form any longer. You will remain the wolf until it dies from starvation.” Caspian began walking again. I followed him. “You have to respect what you are and never neglect or underestimate your wolf. It has needs and demands as well and you’re the one who is supposed to take care of it. When I’m gone you will be able to ask the book for any advice you’ll need.”

  The book! I had forgotten all about the book. I took off my sack and took it out. The golden paw on the front glowed strongly at my touch. “I completely forgot about the book,” I said and handed it to Caspian. “Here you go. It’s yours, isn’t it?”

  Caspian shook his head. “I have no need for it anymore. That’s why I left it with Camelia. I knew she would keep it until someone needed it again. It led you to it. It chose you. It’s yours.”

  I stared at the book. “What is it anyway?”

  “It’s The Ancient Book of Wolves. We’re the only ones who can read it. It was given to me by the man who turned me many, many years ago. It tells you all you need to know. It can also tell you about the wolf inside of you. You know, our species goes further back than the humans. We were here long before them. Once they appeared we lived side by side and no evil was among us. But they began evolving and we withdrew to the forests and kept to ourselves as they began developing malice along with all their progress. Greed soon flourished among them and was soon followed by strife and resentment. We didn’t want to take any part of that so our pack drew away from the humans. They became many and soon they were fighting each other. We try to stay out of their problems. Our pack believes that strife only leads to evil. We try to keep at peace with ourselves.”

  “A pack? There are others like us? There is a pack?”

  “Well, we are not as united as we used to be. Many have become loners like me, but yes some do live in packs around the world, but not many of us are left. Plus some have turned to evil. It’s the human nature in them. You need to control that as well, you know. Just like the humans we can become infested with the malice of this world. Some wolves eat human flesh and let it drive them to evildoing.” Caspian shook his head heavily. “I don’t know what is to become of this forsaken world. Evil has such a stronghold on people and now on wolves as well.”

  I looked down at the book and felt suddenly so small and insignificant. Unworthy even. I too had tasted the forbidden meat and feared it was about to drive me to evil as well.

  “But how come I can’t read the book? You said you and I could read it.”

  “Well, maybe the time isn’t right just yet. It will be available to you once you need it the most.”

  “Do all wolves have a book like this?”

  Caspian laughed. “Oh no. Most wolves wouldn’t be able to handle the truth in this, they would use it for wrong. I am giving it to you because I know you will treat it with respect. This book contains wisdom passed to us from our forefathers. Not many people or wolves will be able to know such wisdom without using it improperly. Don’t ever let this book fall in the wrong hands. It gives great powers to its owner. Someone evil might use that wrongly to try and rule over others. And we don’t do that. We don’t rule over each other. We live in harmony and respect one another. There is a distinct difference.” Caspian’s eyes saddened. “At least we used to.”

  “So why are you no longer with your pack? You said you had become a loner, why aren’t you with your people?”

  “T
hey were among those who turned to the dark side. I used to be the Alpha male of my pack, but they cast me out. My closest friend and advisor Mantin convinced the rest that I was keeping something from them, that eating human flesh wasn’t bad for them, it was in fact something that would give them wisdom and make them powerful beyond measure. Mantin was certain that we should rule over the humans since we were so much stronger than them. He believed that if we should ever rule over the other wolves in this world, that if we were the first to eat human meat and drink their blood, we would be the most powerful. He told my pack that they had been deceived. So he brought in a human man and they all feasted upon him one night. I had to leave. There wasn’t anything I could do. They were blinded by his words and the desire for the human flesh and so they put the curse upon themselves. They chose the life they have now. Since then I have stayed far away from other wolves, until I ran into you. I knew you were different right away.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Caspian smiled again. “You are good all the way through, Sami. If anyone can resist the temptation of the human flesh, it is you.”

  I exhaled in confusion. He had such high hopes for me, I was filled with guilt and shame for having let him down. I decided then I could never tell him the truth of what I had done, I couldn’t disappoint him.

  “No let’s find your mate,” Caspian said.

  “My what?”

  “Your mate. You’re meant for each other; you and Catalina, don’t you know that by now?”

  “I thought I was only rescuing her to bring her back to her people.”

  “That you are, but haven’t you wondered why you have such a strong connection, such a strong bond?” Caspian asked with a grin.

  “I have, but ...”

  “Well there you have it. Every wolf has a mate that he is destined to be with. Yours is Catalina.”

  “How do you know?”

  Caspian stopped and grabbed the book out of my hands. He held it into the air. I noticed it glowed strongly in his hands.

  “It says so in here.”

  Caspian handed the book back to me and I stared at it for several minutes before I put it back in my sack. Then we continued our walk. I was more confused than ever, but also knew somehow that it was true. I did feel very connected to Catalina and had done so ever since I lay my eyes upon her for the first time in the forest. I had felt extremely protective of her not knowing why, when she was nothing but a stranger to me.

  Caspian ran up a hill and I followed. “I recognize these parts,” he yelled. “From the night I followed you and Catalina to the barn where you hid all night.” He looked like he enjoyed feeling the icy wind in his face and closed his eyes while taking in a deep breath. “I smell her, Sami. I smell her.”

  I followed him up the hill and spotted the farm and the barn in the distance. It still stood like it had done when I had last been there. It looked abandoned.

  “Come,” Caspian said and began to run downhill. “Let’s find her track.”

  Chapter 24

  I caught Catalina’s scent very strongly around the barn and where I saw her being dragged away by Officer Alexandru. I wondered if he had kept her with him all this time, if she had in fact been in the same place as I had when he interrogated me. Or had he sent her on a train like me? Was she in one of those camps?

  I took in a deep breath in the same spot where the black car was parked before it carried Catalina away. Then I closed my eyes and saw her before me. I saw what I had seen that morning, I saw her being picked up and carried towards the car. But even more than that I felt what she had felt at that exact moment. I felt her anger, her desperation, and her distress. Then I had a vision of her inside of the car as it drove off. Alexandru held her down, while she screamed and kicked. Then he slapped her across her face. It hurt and I moaned, feeling the pain. Then I saw myself looking at her, while the soldiers held me back and I heard her cry my name.

  Sami. Sami.

  Then another slap hit her face and she fell back into the seat, screaming loudly. Alexandru was whistling while they drove down the road. Catalina looked up at him with revulsion and disgust, but that only made him laugh and whistle louder in a cheerful tune. Then he leaned over and pulled her closer. They were face to face. It made me angry, almost torn with fury. Before they put something over her eyes, she looked back one last time at the empty silent street where she had last seen me and wondered if I would make it. Would she?

  Then everything went black and all she could hear was Officer Alexandru whistling.

  Blind for the first time in her life she soon lost all sense of time and space. She felt a gloved hand on her leg and then the heavy breath on her face. The hand was searching, exploring her leg while the breathing became heavier and was soon panting.

  “You’re mine now, princess,” he whispered. “I’ll have my way with you.”

  Then he laughed, while the car turned and turned in what felt like an endless ride. Catalina wondered where they were taking her. She listened carefully for sounds to reveal her destination, but heard nothing but the car’s engine and the voice of Officer Alexandru and his driver. Then she heard gravel underneath the tires and soon the car came to a stop. She heard talking, lots of low voices then heard the doors of a gate squeak open and shut behind them after they drove through. The car came to another stop. Hands on her body pulled her out, pushing her to walk forward. She took just one step before she felt the first blow strike her in the stomach and she fell to her knees, the air knocked out of her. Two men lifted her by her arms and dragged her up a set of stairs then across the floor. The acoustics of the room sounded like it was a big building somewhere. One with high ceilings, I noted.

  Catalina was thrown on the cold floor, then I heard the sound of a door closing and being locked.

  “Are you okay?” Caspian’s voice penetrated my mind like knives and pulled me back.

  “You were gone for a few minutes,” he continued.

  I opened my eyes and stared at Caspian. “I saw her. I saw her being taken away and I felt her, I felt her pain. She is somewhere close. I can feel it.”

  “Your connection to her is very strong,” Caspian said. “You even feel her emotions. That’s very rare.”

  “I feel what she feels, I hear her thoughts, I see what she has been going through, I just don’t know what is real and what is not. I don’t know if it is too late, if she is already dead.”

  Caspian sighed. “Well, we better get going, then. You found her track, so now we follow it. Can you say anything about where they took her?”

  I shook my head. “They blindfolded her so she didn’t see anything. But I did hear gravel and a big gate. Plus they dragged her up some stairs before she was inside somewhere. It sounded like it was a big building. I can still smell her. It is still coming from the south.”

  “Well, then let’s follow her scent and walk south.”

  Chapter 25

  After walking for about half an hour I sensed something again. It sort of popped into my head. It felt a little like a headache, but soon evolved into a stream of pictures in my mind. Pictures of Catalina in that dark room, shivering with fear. Then I heard her voice, her thoughts. She was wondering, speculating about where she was and why she was there. She had no idea how much time had passed, but she guessed it was more than a day when the door to the room was finally opened and she heard footsteps come closer. Someone grabbed her and dragged her body down what she believed was a hallway.

  She was put in a chair and someone spoke to her. I recognized the voice of Officer Alexandru by its cruelty. His hands were on her face and neck. His fingers wandered across her breasts. I was trembling with fury.

  “Why am I here?” she asked.

  “Because I want you to be,” the officer said, his warm breath on her face.

  “I am hungry. I need to go to the bathroom,” Catalina said.

  A pain followed when she was slapped across the cheek. I felt the burn on my cheek as well. The
n I felt her strength rising in her. She was determined not to let Alexandru break her. She didn’t want to give him the pleasure.

  Alexandru walked up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. I felt a shiver across my spine. His lips were close to her ear while he spoke. “I know who you are,” he whispered.

  “What do you mean?” she asked. “I demand to know what I am doing here.”

  A wave of pain rolled over Catalina as she was punched in the stomach and lost her breath. She gasped for air. So did I. I bent over and felt like throwing up. I felt Caspian’s arm on my shoulder. I fought hard not to lose the vision, not to lose Catalina. I wanted to stay with her and make sure she was alright. The images were flickering but soon returned.

  “If you keep refusing to cooperate, Catalina, then you leave me with no choice,” I heard Alexandru say. He sighed. “I’ll have to leave you alone with my boys.”

  “What do you want from me?” Catalina asked in a strong voice.

  “It’s not so much of a question about what I want as it is a question about what you want. What do you want Catalina?”

  “I want to go to the bathroom,” she answered.

  A fist hit her in the face. She gasped in pain.

  “Wrong answer,” Alexandru said.

  There was a brief silence where Catalina in her mind traveled back to her childhood memories, but not for long. It was mixed with the voices from the room and a radio somewhere. Then a brutal slap knocked her off the chair and onto the floor where she landed on her face. I jumped and grabbed Caspian’s hand. He pulled me close and held me tight. I felt warm tears streaming across my face while I heard strange voices pressing in on Catalina, then someone pulled her up violently. Hands were on her body, touching her, grabbing her. Then more fists hit her, voices blended with each other and she could no longer understand what they were saying. Some were yelling, almost screaming at her. She was paralyzed with fear and confusion while they pushed and shoved her, beat her, and pulled off her blouse. She screamed for them to stop and ‘no don’t do that,’ but soon gave it up. She didn’t know how much longer she could hold her strength, how long she would be able to endure this.