Down & Dirty_Axel

by Jeanne St. James

  He shook his head, pounding his knuckles on the bar top. “Motherfuckers.”

  That described them perfectly.

  “How much time do we have left to collect?” the club president asked.

  “Two weeks? Maybe a little more?” Bella guessed.

  “Gives us time to get the word out, try to get the community to step up even more.”

  What he said was true, but... “Still a huge loss,” she murmured.

  “If we gotta, we’ll take funds outta the club coffers to make up for whatever was lost.”

  Bella nodded, it was better than nothing. She hoped either the PD or at least D’s crew could track those fuckers down, if it was them, and recover at least some of the toys.

  Axel was not going to be happy that she told D. But he’d have to get over it. Someone needed to recover those toys before they were sold, pawned or simply destroyed.

  Zak continued, “I’ll spread the word that everyone comin’ to the Christmas party gotta bring at least one toy or a cash donation.”

  Bella braced herself. “Speaking of the Christmas party...” she began.

  “And they said what?” Axel asked after Bella just dropped a bomb on him.

  She shifted her head on his chest and tipped her brown eyes up to him. “Really want to know?”

  He shook his head. “I can imagine.” Combing his fingers through her long dark hair, he spread the silky locks over his bare skin. She was curled against his side, a bare leg thrown over his, an arm over his waist and her soft breasts pressed to his ribs. “Not a good idea, Bella,” he murmured.

  “About as good as me coming to Christmas dinner at your parents.”

  He snorted and was relieved it was less painful this time. The swelling had gone down on his face, including his nose and eye. Though the bruises looked worse than ever since they had started to change colors. His father and the other cops at the station demanded to know what happened. He vaguely told them he’d been working on his bike when it fell over on him. Mitch eyeballed him suspiciously but didn’t call him out on it in front of everyone else.

  “It’s not the same and you know it.”

  Attending the club’s Christmas party would be like a mouse voluntarily entering a den of vipers. It would be like suicide. Only worse.

  They might let him live but they sure would make him suffer and wish he was dead.

  He couldn’t imagine any of the brothers would be okay with it, especially his own. Or Hawk and Diesel. It was bad enough when one six-foot-four pissed off beast of a man wanted to kick his ass, but two?

  “Told them what you said, you’d be coming as Axel Jamison, not Officer Jamison.”

  That was the other rub. His father aside, he was sure his captain wouldn’t be thrilled with him hanging out with the club, whether they were one-percenters or not.

  “Oh, I’m sure they started writing out the invitation right then and there.”

  She traced her fingers back and forth over the wiry chest hairs that lightly covered his pecs. Every once in a while, she’d brush over a nipple. He never realized just how sensitive they were.

  She sighed. “No.”

  “Right.”

  “You talked about mending fences. It’s a start.”

  “It’s one thing to try to mend a fence one on one with my brother, but to walk into a party with at least twenty fucking bikers,” he lifted a finger, “who are drinking heavily, by the way, and who all hate my guts, it’s another.”

  “Probably more like forty or fifty.”

  He lifted his head and stared at her. “What?”

  “Dark Knights are going to be there, too.”

  Well, that was even better! His eyes narrowed. “Why?”

  She shrugged a shoulder. “Biker bonding.”

  Axel dropped his head back onto his pillow and studied the ceiling. “Right. And what better way to bond then to kill the sole cop amongst their midst.”

  Her fingers followed the thin line of hair that lead to his pelvis. “Too many witnesses.”

  “I’m glad you find this amusing. I could see going into the bathroom to take a piss, the lights go out, my throat gets slashed and one of D’s crew hacks my body into small pieces, so it’s never to be found again.”

  She chuckled as she palmed his sac and squeezed lightly. “You’ve been watching too many movies.”

  “You told me yourself that D wants to kill me.”

  “It was a metaphor.”

  “For what? For him wanting to give me a great big bear hug?”

  She placed a kiss over his heart then her tongue came out to flick his nipple. “You said yourself that he won’t kill you.”

  “Well, after he punched my lights out, I kind of had an epiphany.” He sighed. “I still don’t understand why in the hell they’d agree to me coming.”

  “A brother’s never going to claim me.”

  “Okay?”

  “I think they all realize that now.”

  That was nothing new, so he didn’t understand where this conversation was headed. “And?”

  “So unless I’m claimed, I’m up for grabs.”

  “By who?”

  “Anyone.”

  He swept the hair away from her face to see her more clearly. “I’m confused.”

  “D’s got his hands full with Jewel and...” She paused. “Everything else.”

  That was clear as mud, but then it wasn’t helping that she kept kneading his balls and teasing his nipples. If they hadn’t just had a sweaty, noisy, awesome round of sex, his cock would be ready to go. But it wasn’t and what she was doing to him was exquisite torture. Not that he was going to tell her to stop.

  She continued, “And Hawk has his hands full with Kiki and... everything else.”

  Everything else. He could just imagine. “Right. And Z has Sophie, Jag has Ivy. Get to the point.”

  “None of us are easy women to deal with.”

  He almost let “no shit” slip from his lips, but he caught it in time. When she released his balls, clarity suddenly hit him. “So you’re saying they’re trying to lighten the load? Less DAMC women to watch since I’d have your back? It would make sense since the Warriors are on a rampage. But still... Can’t see any one of them being that reasonable.”

  She shifted and nipped the flesh near his nipple hard. He sucked in a sharp breath and rubbed his skin when she moved on to another spot.

  “First of all, I don’t need a babysitter. But I think what happened earlier kind of threw it in their face that they can’t be everywhere at all times. That their women make them vulnerable.”

  “So they need all hands on deck?”

  “Sort of, but—”

  He lifted his hand. “Wait. Hold up. What happened earlier?”

  “Slade asked me to...”

  Axel sat up, dislodging her from his chest. “To what?”

  “To go up to his room.”

  Blood rushed into his ears and a muscle in his jaw flexed.

  “Nothing I haven’t heard before,” she added quickly.

  “Slade hit on you?”

  She sat up, too, pulling the sheet up around her. He hated that she felt the need to cover herself around him. He understood that she felt self-conscious about her scars, but he’d been working hard on showing her that he loved her, scars and all. They didn’t make him change the way he felt. And never would.

  “Yeah. He didn’t force the issue or anything. He was just showing interest and probably gauging what mine was in return. It was innocent.”

  Sure it was. “I thought he was doing Diamond?” Though anyone in their right mind wouldn’t take on Diamond. From what he understood, Slade had been a Marine. So maybe the man liked a challenge.

  “Yeah, no. Apparently not.”

  His chest tightened. “Now he’s got his sights set on you?” If so, the man definitely liked challenges. But Bella was one Slade was never going to get to try. Not if Axel had any say in the matter.

  “Mmm. I think D
kind of cleared that up.”

  He chuckled. “Oh, fuck. Did he get to read the word ‘dirty’ before being knocked out, too?”

  She smirked. “No. I think he likes Slade more than you. Though he doesn’t like Slade much, either.”

  Axel’s ears perked at that information. “Why doesn’t he like Slade?” Maybe he needed to run a background check on the guy and see what legal skeletons the biker had in his closet.

  “Not sure. It could be just D being D. Being overprotective.”

  “So he was there when Slade hit on you?”

  “Yeah, he heard it... at least the last part.”

  For once, he was glad that Diesel had been around and looking out for Bella when he couldn’t be. “You going to be safe around him?”

  Bella looked at him in surprise. “Are you going into cop mode?”

  Was he? Maybe, but more like protecting his woman mode, protecting what was his.

  “He wasn’t pushy, he was just testing the waters, Axel. It’s over and done with. He doesn’t creep me out, he was just being a typical horn dog. Unlike Pierce...”

  “Yeah. Glad they ousted his ass.”

  “Still a brother,” she reminded him.

  “Right, but he no longer holds any power. That makes a difference for someone with his ego.”

  “Cops should know all about ego.”

  “Very funny.”

  “Anyway, I think it’s an olive branch.”

  It still didn’t make any sense to him. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was a trap and they invited him to the party so they could string him up and club him like a piñata.

  “I still can’t see D agreeing to this.” This whole thing just made his cop Spidey sense tingle.

  “He knows we’re sleeping together.”

  Axel pointed at his face. “You think?”

  “Again, I’m sorry about that.”

  “Do you think he is?”

  She grinned. “No.”

  “So if I do this, you’ll come to Christmas dinner?”

  “I’ll think about it. By the way, Z’s going to invite Jayde to the party.”

  Well, there was another interesting twist. “My sister doesn’t need an invitation. She already planned on crashing it.”

  “Well, there you go. You’ll have someone else there who’ll tolerate you. Ace, Janice, Jayde and me.”

  “Sounds like a great time. Nothing like only being tolerated.”

  “Now you know how I’ll feel at your parents.”

  “It’s only my father you’ll have to win over.”

  “I’m not going to do that, Axel. I’m not going to force him to like me.”

  “No forcing necessary. He’ll love you as much as I do.”

  “Damn, did my bullshit meter just hit red.”

  “I’m telling you right now, I’m wearing my ankle holster to the party. Hell, I’m wearing two.”

  “Axel...”

  He sighed. “Okay, I’ll do it for you.” He had a feeling he would regret this. But someone needed to take the first step. And if he had to take a little bit of abuse to move this all forward, then he would.

  He sank back onto the bed, and Bella curled back around him. She felt so right being there. In his bed. In his life. So maybe this was a good thing. If he survived it.

  “You wouldn’t be doing it for me. You’d be doing it for you. For Jayde. For Z. For Sophie and the baby.” She hesitated. “I guess it would be for me, too, since I don't want to live the rest of my life with that turmoil.”

  His heart thumped heavily in his chest. “The rest of your life?”

  “I can’t continue to do this with you, Axel, if these burned bridges can’t be repaired.”

  “Are you saying you want this to continue?”

  Chapter Nine

  Bella took a deep breath and thought about Axel’s question. If she did want what they had to continue, it was going to be a long road ahead. Even if the brothers started to tolerate him—and she couldn’t expect any more from them than that when it came to a cop—it was still going to be a bumpy ride.

  The worry gnawed at her when she thought about his coming to the club’s Christmas party to the point it turned her stomach. Things could go so wrong.

  The only good thing was all the DAMC women would be thrilled he showed up with her, as would her uncle, Ace, and his wife, Janice. She wasn’t lying when she told Axel that. Ace had reached out to Axel and Mitch several times, trying to convince them to visit Z while he was in prison. They refused. She understood how it might make two police officers look, having a son and a brother doing time, but even so...

  “Why didn’t you ever visit Z in prison?” she asked softly.

  “That wasn’t an answer to my question.”

  “I know, and you want to avoid mine, too.” She sighed softly. “I honestly don’t know that answer, Axel. If I had to answer that today, I would say probably not.”

  His body jerked slightly under her cheek which she had pressed to his chest. “Bella,” he whispered, the hurt clear in his voice.

  “That’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the only answer I have if you need to know today.”

  “And if I ask tomorrow?”

  “It’s not just us, Axel. You know that. Our lives aren’t simple. We don’t live in a bubble. We’re so different. You and your father don’t want to recognize where you came from. What your grandfather built. What our grandfathers built.”

  “Fuck! My grandfather died because of the club. He was murdered by Warriors.”

  “I know that.”

  “And my uncle’s doing life in prison for retribution. So is your grandfather, Bella. This isn’t some game. Those were human lives they took. By doing that, they acted as judge and jury. My father and I swore an oath to help save lives. To keep people safe.”

  “Exactly my point of how different we are. And it’s not only that. I can’t...” She didn’t want to talk about this, about why he needed to rethink all of this. “Axel, you need to think about the future.”

  “We’re working on that now, aren’t we? We’re trying to repair some of the damage done from the past.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not that simple.”

  “No shit.”

  “I’m not talking about your family and mine, though that’s a big obstacle in itself.”

  “Then what?”

  “You know what happened to me.”

  “Fuck!” he shouted, making her jump. He grabbed her chin and turned her face up to him. “We went through this already.”

  “No! No, that’s not... that’s not what I’m saying... I don’t... have... a womb.”

  He blinked at her, his expression confused. “Yeah, which is great because I don’t have to wear a fucking condom and we don’t have to worry about you getting—” He stopped abruptly. She watched as the emotions changed on his face. From confusion to clarity to what looked like a mix of grief and guilt.

  He scrubbed a hand over his hair and blew out a breath. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. That was... a callous thing to say.”

  She forced herself to swallow the knot in her throat. “But it’s true,” she said softly. “And if you’re talking future, Axel, you need to think about that. I may not be able to give you everything you want or need.”

  He interlaced his fingers with hers and lifted their joined hands to his mouth. “I want you.” He kissed the back of her hand. “I need you.”

  She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to slow her pounding heart. It sounded so simple, but she knew it wasn’t. He might want her now, but when it hit him later that she couldn’t be everything he wanted or needed her to be, he could come to resent her.

  And to let herself become emotionally invested in him and to have that happen... It would be devastating. At least for her, if not him.

  “There are so many other women out there that would be better for you. Women who would fit into your lifestyle, mesh with your career, make your father happy, give your parents
grandchildren. None of those are me. You need to face that, Axel.”

  “All obstacles we can overcome.”

  “Holy fuck, are you Jamisons stubborn.”

  “Right and you Doughertys aren’t?”

  “I’m a McBride,” she corrected him. “Though, only because of my sperm donor.”

  “Baby, you’re pure Dougherty through and through. McBride’s just a name. I take it your father isn’t invited to the party.”

  Bella snorted. “Not unless he wants Ace to put a bullet between his eyes.”

  “You’ve heard nothing?’

  “No, not once. Hell, he didn’t want one kid and by the time mom popped out the third one in three years, he turned tail and ran as fast as he could.” Neither her nor Dex remembered anything about their father. Dex was two and Bella was only a year old when Ivy was born. Three young children were a lot for anyone to handle but for someone who disliked kids? Impossible. The man just up and rode off on his Harley with all of their money stuffed into his pockets. If it wasn’t for her Uncle Ace, Aunt Janice, and her Aunt Annie, Kelsea’s mother, her mom would’ve struggled to raise three children on her own.

  Axel was quiet for a moment. “Want me to find him for you?”

  She widened her eyes at him. “Seriously? If I wanted to know where that fucker was I would’ve asked Diesel. His crew is good at finding people.” She thought about D and the Toys for Tots issue. “Which is why we should have him help find the stolen toys.”

  “No.”

  “Axel.”

  “Bella, no. Keep him out of it. I’m on it. No reason to make a bad matter worse. And that’s all he’ll do.”

  “But he—”

  “No, Bella,” he said in his deep cop voice.

  Fuck. She wiggled her eyebrows at him. “Can we negotiate?”

  “Nope.”

  Double fuck. If Axel found out she told D, he was going to be pissed. She’d have to remind D to keep a low profile when he was doing his own investigation...

  “How’s your investigation going with that?” Maybe Axel would give her some leads that she could give to Diesel.

  “Sounds like the Warriors. Everyone describes two bikers coming in saying they’re DAMC.”

  “Not wearing colors?”