How can I get Zakira off the tit without harming her? Okay Zak you’ve lost your mind now. I had to bring myself back from my thoughts because that was fucked even for me. I wasn’t as angry anymore, not like I had been yesterday and that was strange. I thought for sure I’d stay mad at her ass for a lifetime, but Ty was right, and so were the others. She’d given me a kid, she could’ve done so much differently, and one of the things she could’ve done different was not have my kid.
She’d had her when she wasn’t sure that she’d ever see me again. She’d given up a career, one that I knew she felt strongly about, so she could have my kid. Even after giving birth she could’ve signed up again, women do it all the time. But she’d chosen to stay home and raise my child. I didn’t even know what she was doing for a living but that was easily rectified. I had the means at my fingertips to find out all I needed to know about her.
**
Two hours later I sat in stunned silence. “What the fuck have you done Zak?” I flew out of the chair and left the mansion. I fled past my brothers who were on their way back. “Where’s the fire dude?” I ignored Dev as I heard Lo telling them to stand down. No doubt the rest of them thought I was going to do her bodily harm.
I hit the door running and didn’t even stop to check on the baby but went straight to her. She was asleep again, no doubt tired from my overuse of her body. I felt like scum, like the lowest form of life. I untied her arms gently and tried to work some life back into them by massaging them. “Zak?” Her voice was a drowsy whisper that tore at my heart. What have I don’t to you baby?
I finished untying her as she came fully awake. I knew from the look of fear in her eyes that she thought I was sending her away. “No Zak…”
“Shh.” I pulled her into my arms with my heart racing out of my chest. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry why didn’t you tell me?” She was a little confused at first until I explained. “You almost died, why the fuck didn’t you tell me that shit?”
“I don’t understand how do you know about that?”
“Does it matter? You were in an enemy camp for three months and you don’t say shit about that to me why?”
“I didn’t want you to blame yourself.” Her words cut into me like sharp knives, making me feel worse.
“You didn’t…are you fucking insane?” For the second time that day I found myself yelling at someone I loved without meaning to. “You let me do this shit to you after what you’d been through?” I felt the bile rise in my throat, I must’ve given her fucking nightmares and she never said a fucking word because she didn’t want to make me feel bad.
“The report said you weren’t hurt, tell me the truth, did he touch you?” I would tear the fucking Middle East to shreds to find the fuck if he had. As it stands, there’s nothing that can prevent me going after the bastard and cutting his heart out.
“No. He wanted to I think, but when he discovered I was pregnant he was pissed. The girl that was watching over me, her English wasn’t that good, but I gathered that his plan was to get word back to you that he’d raped me and gotten me with child. After he found out I was already pregnant the plan changed. He was going to kill me and the baby and send that news to you instead.”
My body went cold with self-hate. What kind of animal was I? How could I have done such a thing? I let her go and slid off the bed. “I’ll let you go as soon as it’s safe for you and the baby to leave. Please if it’s possible forgive me. All I ask is that you tell her about me.” I turned to leave the room my heart at my fucking feet. If I could kick my ass I would do it in a heartbeat. I’ve never despised anyone as much as I did myself in that moment.
I stopped short when I felt her little arms come around my waist. “Please don’t make me leave Zak, we belong here with you.”
“How can you say that after what the fuck I did? You should hate my guts, how can you not? I do.” I needed to get away from her, needed to go somewhere and lick my wounds. She was offering me paradise but I didn’t deserve it. I’d taken something so beautiful so precious and destroyed it, and after all she’d endured.
“I don’t want you to stay here, you deserve a lot better than me.” I tried pulling away from her but she held on tight. I closed my eyes in despair at all that I was going to lose once again, and all because of my own doing. As long as I live I’ll never forget what I’d done to her. “Don’t make me have your baby on my own again Zak, it was so hard last time. Besides, you don’t want some other man raising your kids do you?”
I pulled her around and jacked her up before I could stop myself. “You see? Look at me I can’t help myself. Even knowing what you endured because of me I was about to choke the shit out of you for mere words.”
“First of all, what happened was not because of you, it was because of one madman’s obsession. And I like it when you get crazy.” She kissed me. Actually got up on her toes and kissed my lips. I pulled her in tighter not trusting that this was real, that she was willing to forgive me.
I held onto her the way I’d always wanted to, like I would never let her go. “Can I have you?” I needed to touch her with care. Needed to show her what she meant to me without the anger and animosity between us. She was the one who took my hand and led me to the bed. She was the one who laid back and spread her legs, drawing me down to her. “Just come inside me Zak, I want to feel you.” I wanted to give her so much more.
I made my way down her body and nuzzled her between her thighs, licking the crease before letting my tongue play between her folds. Her taste was sweet on my tongue as I sent my tongue deeper while my nose pressed into her slick clit. She started to move as I tongue fucked her, trying to draw her essence out greedily. I made love to her pussy the way I used to in the beginning, when there was nothing but love between us. Her fingers in my hair led me on, to eat her deeper as my fingers dug into her ass, holding her in place.
When she came on my tongue and her pussy juice ran down my chin, I slid up her body and entered her softly.
It was by far the most sensuous experience of my life. The way she clasped me to her, the way her body opened and accepted mine. There were no hurried movements, just soft touches and fires rekindled. “I’ve never loved anything as much as I love you, never will Red, my Red.” We moved together, slowly at first, until it got to be too much and I couldn’t hold back. “Cum with me baby.” I teased her ass as I fucked into her, bringing her to the edge. When she started to tighten around me I went for her tit, sucking the milk that was getting ready to spout into my mouth.
The taste of her sweet milk ramped up my lust and our sweet loving soon turned into a hard fuck that left her screaming and gushing around my dick, her pussy milked my cock pretty much the same way my mouth was pulling on her tit. I slammed into her cervix and released a volley of seed inside her until I went blind, deaf and dumb. “That’s the one. I just bred you for sure.” We were both breathing uncontrollably as I kept moving inside her, never wanting it to end. I slipped out of her when she’d sucked the last bit of sperm from my cock.
Our daughter chose that moment to wake up in the next room and I watched as my woman went to get our child. She came back into the room and sat on the bed to feed the baby while I watched. I couldn’t resist leaning over and taking her other tit into my mouth and sucking. I had sense enough to leave some for the baby, though I could’ve stayed there all night.
“I’ll be right back baby, there’s something I need to take care of. I love you.” I kissed her over the baby’s head before I left my two girls in the safety of our home and sent out a call to my brothers. I had held the rage in check, but it was loose now. I’ll have to deal with my own fuck up another time, right now I wanted the blood of the fucker who’d taken her on my hands.
They met me in the middle of the yard between our houses. “Do you know where she was the first few months of her pregnancy?” I didn’t give them any lead up, just jumped right into the story. The shit that I’d read was still churning in my gut looking for an
escape. I wanted to rage and fuck something up, but there was nothing but my own ass for being so fucking stupid. Why hadn’t I checked up on her? Why had I let her walk away that day? My own fucked up pride had almost cost me everything.
“Desert Fox had her, he fucking took her convoy, killed everyone and took her back to his fucking camp in the desert.”
“What the fuck are you saying, that’s got to be the same time we were running him to ground.”
“Yes it is, he took her because of me.” And that shit burned a hole in my gut.
“How did he know about that?”
“Fuck if I know, but that motherfucker is mine.” I turned to walk away, my mind already on what moves I had to make to get to the desert. I know someone had to tip him off, how else would he know that she was mine?
None of that mattered now though, all that mattered was wiping this fuck off the face of the earth. If he’d raped her… I stopped to gag on my own bile as my brothers came after me.
“Zak, wait a minute. You’re not going after him alone use your damn head brother. We have the mission coming up let’s wait on command. On top of that you’ve got a woman and a kid to take care of now, and the way shit is going around here, I won’t be surprised if there’s another one on the way. Because I’m sure you two haven’t been watching movies in your damn house for the past few days. Let’s secure this place, get this shit squared away that we’re dealing with here, and then we go into the desert.”
He was right, I couldn’t go traipsing off to the desert now with danger at our door, I had to stay here and protect them, it was all that mattered now.
“I’ll think about waiting but whenever we go, he’s mine to take out understood?” They all agreed before asking me what I knew about her capture. I repeated everything I’d read in the sealed report and what she’d told me herself. It hurt like a son of a bitch that she’d been in my enemy’s hands and I hadn’t known, hadn’t been there to protect her. And then I’d fucking tied her to my bed to do the same thing he’d planned to do.
I’ll spend the rest of my life making that shit up to her, as for him. A cold rage crept into my soul, one day soon I was going to face this fucker, I don’t know how, but I was going to make that shit happen. And when I do, I’m going to cut his fucking head off for putting his hands on what’s mine. I went back home to them and found them in the tub together splashing and laughing. I stood in the doorway watching them with a lump in my throat until she looked up and saw me. It was hard to believe that the smile that broke out across her face was for me. “Look sweetie, daddy’s home.”
“Da-da.” Fuck me.
Chapter 14
TYLER
“Where is she?” Everyone was gathered at the kitchen table at Zak’s place, everyone but Victoria Lynn. I knew without being told that she wasn’t in the house, I always know. “She had to head back into town, something about work.” I hid my disappointment by taking my niece from her mother’s arms and burying my face in her tummy to blow raspberries. That giggle was fast becoming my favorite sound in the world. I sat down as the food was being passed around and hated the fact that my appetite was almost gone.
I knew it was because she wasn’t here. I’d grown accustomed to having her near these last few days, even though I made a point of ignoring her. Lately though, I’ve been wondering if maybe I could take a chance. Being around the baby had kind of softened me up a little, given me ideas of what could be if I only let go enough. There were other things to take into consideration though, like the fact that she made me feel deeply, which was a dangerous thing for her. What if I caved and somewhere down the line she decided she wasn’t ready for forever? No I couldn’t take the chance. It was best if I stuck to one -night stands and short- lived flings.
Victoria Lynn wasn’t made for that she was the happily ever after type. But what if she gets tired of waiting for you and marry someone else? Zakira seemed attuned to my inner turmoil and her little arms came around my neck and she kissed my cheek before resting her head on my chest.
I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the innocent love. When I opened them again my whole family was watching. The damn women had tears in their eyes. “What the fuck?” My brothers were all shaking their heads at me with stupid looks on their faces. “You are toast brother.”
“Shut the fuck up Zak.” That just made them all laugh even louder as I left the house with baby Zak on my hip.
***
ZAK
I stroked the last of my seed into her before pulling out and flipping us over. Our hearts beat like drums in our chests as we tried to calm down. I used my fingers to plug her up and keep my seed from flowing back out of her. We tongued each other’s mouths swapping spit. It felt good to lie with her like this, with no animosity between us. “I’m sorry I hurt you baby.” I’ve been saying the same thing to her for the past couple of days and will say it for as long as it takes to get this feeling off my heart.
In the past two days I’ve done everything I could to make it up to her. I’d braved the outside to go get her a ring so she could show off with her sisters, only now Lo and Con were mad at me because their women had reinforcements with their wedding shit. I was willing to do anything I had to to make her happy, and if that meant getting them to and from their dress fittings, I’d Shanghai Ty and Cord into going with me as security.
It fucked with me that I’d put her through that shit, and probably will for the rest of my life, but she was right, denying my daughter a father, or her a husband wasn’t the answer. Instead I spent the moments that I wasn’t ensuring their safety making sure she knew how much she was loved.
“How soon before we can find out if he’s in there?” I ran my hand over her tummy and my dick thumped against her thigh. It didn’t matter if I’d planted one in her already or not; trying was half the fun. “There’re tests that can tell right now, do you wanna get one of those?” I rolled her over onto her back and slipped back into her. Always, talk of breeding her always got me going. “We’ll go later.”
We fucked for the better part of the night, reaffirming the bond that we’d almost lost. “I love you Red, more than fucking words can say. I’m sorry I made it hard for you, never again.” She tried soothing me but it was no use. I’ll always feel the sting of not being there for Zakira’s beginning. That little piece of me will always be missing, but I had so much more to look forward to. I tried not to dwell on what could’ve happened to her when she was in the clutches of a madman, only fueling my hate for him with each day that passed for what he tried to do to my family.
I’d already started hunting that fucker, regardless of what Lo said. If command didn’t come through soon I was going after that fuck on my own. “Da-da-da.” Shit, my little con artist had figured out that she could get anything out of me by calling my name and she’s been milking it for the past few days. Her mother had gotten over her pique that my name was the first the baby had called and not hers, even though she’d been the one to raise her for the first year of her life.
Ty the ass spent every waking moment trying to get her to say his name with no luck. “Daddy’s coming princess.” I kissed my woman and rolled out of bed to go get my other girl.
THE END
***
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ZAK SEAL Team Seven Book 3 Page 13