Erasing

by K. D. Rose

  Mira felt frightened again.

  "But I will be here, and other people who love you will be around too, so there is no need to be scared. It is all for your benefit," continued Ada Jo. "Do the words Emergency Meeting Spot mean anything to you?"

  Mira searched her mind. "I dunno…maybe. I just don't know!" she said, exasperated.

  "Don't worry about it," said Ada Jo. "Don't force anything. It has to come naturally, okay? If it comes naturally then it's okay. Don't get upset and force things."

  "Okay," said Mira, trying to take these directions in with all her might.

  "Well, we are going to meet some more people. These are good people. You may recognize them or you may not, but they all love you and are your friends. Do you understand? You regressed to an age where you forgot them. You are at an age now when you should remember them, but nothing is for certain. You used to play here with them as part of a gang of friends."

  "Really!" said Mira. "That sounds exciting!"

  "My understanding is that it was, very much so," said Ada Jo. "They are dying to see you again, but if at any time you get overwhelmed, you let me know and we'll move away a little so you can calm down, okay?" Then she added, "There is only one thing I want you to remember during this."

  Mira mimicked, "Never, never—"

  "Okay, two things," Ada Jo continued. "Do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to regress in age. Do you hear me? We have worked hard to get you to where you are, and there is not much time left."

  "Why?" asked Mira.

  "Later," said Ada Jo, dismissing her. There was no time to get into all the technical details.

  "You can do it," said Ada Jo. "No matter what you see, you need to focus on your current age—"

  "Fifteen," interrupted Mira.

  "—consciously, no matter what your body or unconscious starts doing. Do you understand? This is of the utmost importance. If you regress, you won't remember me anymore, or anything else. Tell me you understand the importance of this," Ada Jo finished.

  Having been lost in the dark forest and finally found her savior in her friend, Mira understood all too well what Ada Jo was getting at. "Yes! I will do everything in my power to stay this age. I will not regress, no matter what. Besides," she said, "I'll have you by my side."

  Ada Jo looked at Mira and said evenly, "Yes, I'll be there."

  Mira wasn't sure of her tone, but brushed it off.

  ***

  The girls made their way to the gang of four. Waiting there sat Lu, Onie, Zac, and Ed.

  Mira seemed not to remember them but gave them a hug. She didn't ask about Trina, and no one wanted to go into the details at this moment. At a look from Ada Jo, they could tell, everyone was walking on eggshells. It was hard to guess how things would go. Mira introduced Ada Jo to the gang. No one seemed surprised that there was another girl along. They had grown weary of surprises sometime back.

  As they all gathered around Mira and Ada Jo, Ed hopped up on a hay bale. Mira looked at that gesture thoughtfully. Ada Jo wondered if she was starting to remember. She didn't have long to wonder though, because in the middle of the group there appeared, out of nowhere, three-year-old Brandon. He started saying 'Hi' to the friends.

  "Oh no!" said Ada Jo when she saw Brandon. "He must have come because we are all gathered here. I didn't want to do this so soon..." she turned to Mira. "but now I don't have a choice." She grew again. This time into a pleasant looking woman of about thirty with dark hair tied back with a ribbon, wearing a flowered blouse and jeans with flats. It was the young Mrs. Ross. Everyone gasped.

  Fifteen-year-old Mira's face turned red. "Don't worry," she said irritably, "I won't regress. Just leave me alone." She felt betrayed. All this time, all that adventure, she thought she had made a friend for life, no matter what world, and it turned out to be Michael's mother. Wait, Michael! Where was Michael? She was married to Michael whom she loved very much. She remembered!

  The young version of Mrs. Ross had to attend to first matters first, though. She picked up Brandon, disappeared, and took him directly home.

  ***

  "He just disappeared!" said Madison, visibly upset when Mrs. Ross walked down the stairs of the real-world Ross house. Madison didn't even notice that Grandma looked, well, not exactly herself.

  "It's okay, honey. Find something that thoroughly engrosses him for the next hour okay?" She handed him to Madison. "I need him to stay here and not disappear. I have things to take care of."

  "Okay," said Madison. "Hey, why do you look so y—" but Mrs. Ross had already scooted out the doorway, up the stairs, and into her bedroom where she quickly went back to the Emergency Meeting Place. Full body and all.

  Madison was left with questions, and she bet she knew the answers. Whether they admitted it or not, this whole family was one other-world traveling bunch.

  ***

  When young Mrs. Ross reappeared in the astral, the gang had split up. Lu and Ed were on a hay bale. Onie and Zac were off in one of the fields together. Mira sat down by the pond, alone.

  Mrs. Ross walked toward Mira softly and sat down next to her. Mira didn't acknowledge her presence.

  Mrs. Ross took Mira's hand, just like Ada Jo would have done, only this time it was Mrs. Ross…acting…human. Mira let her take it. This was as close as she had ever gotten to Mrs. Ross. It was hard to see her like this. Old-ish. She kept thinking of Ada Jo. Plus, she was still mad.

  Mrs. Ross must have guessed what she was thinking. "Age is the great equalizer. Ada Jo was my nickname when I was young. I could turn back to Ada Jo if you want, but I was hoping that you and I could have a conversation like this, talking to me in time as I am now." Her eyes searched Mira's and held sadness in them. Mira felt like she was about to cry.

  Then she thought about all that Mrs. Ross had done. She'd gone back to her childhood self, just for her. She'd taken her around the entire astral realm showing her all the dangers, and the joys and the surprises of it all. She had protected her and kept her safe. Mrs. Ross had done it all for Mira. To keep Mira safe. To make her well. To help her. And here she was, treating her like an enemy, like the same stern Mrs. Ross she'd never really known. Well, she now she knew her. She knew the real Mrs. Ross. Mira was overwhelmed with this insight.

  "Of course we can talk like this," she said, feeling terrible. "I'm so sorry I overreacted."

  "It was to be expected," said Mrs. Ross. "By the way, why don't you call me Ada? I know you and I haven't exactly been close. There's a reason for that. Michael and Jonathan learned why, these past few days but it’s time I told you, too. First," Ada asked, still holding Mira's hand, "do you remember the saying I taught you?"

  Mira repeated "Never, never cross the Bridge of Forever"

  "Do you know where that bridge is?" asked Ada.

  "No," said Mira, "I've never seen a bridge around here that was supernatural or anything."

  "Look," said Ada, gently. She pointed toward the pond. She said again, "Look, but this time with your inner vision."

  Mira squinted but didn't see anything but the pond. She tried again. Mrs. Ross gave her time. "Think about it with your eyes slightly unfocused," she said.

  Mira tried un-focusing her eyes for a minute. She started to see the outline of something. It was hard to make out.

  Mrs. Ross watched her carefully. "This is something that happens when you get older, dear. Little children aren't meant to see things, for their own protection."

  Mira stopped for a second. Was Mrs. Ross telling her she was older than fifteen? Her mind was a jumble. Well of course she was! She had never been close to Mrs. Ross because she was married to Michael, her son. That made Mira… Mira started to change in front of Mrs. Ross and the gang, who stood silent around them but farther back so as not to disturb what was going on.

  At that moment, Michael and Jonathan finally made it to the Emergency Meeting Place. Michael wanted to run up to Mira but Jonathan held him back. The rest of the gang pulled them back even farther and b
egan furiously whispering.

  That's when Mira saw him. Paul. He was standing on the other half of the bridge, waving to her. "Hey kiddo!" she heard him say. She started to get up to run to him. Mrs. Ross was still holding her hand though.

  Mrs. Ross repeated, "Never, never…."

  Mira turned and looked at her. "But it’s Paul! Nothing's gonna happen just by going to Paul!" She tried to wriggle free from Ada's hand, but Ada had a tight grip and then reached for Mira's waist. She grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down on top of her. Mira was struggling.

  "Why are you doing this?!" she yelled at Mrs. Ross. "I just want to see Paul!"

  "Kiddo, what's wrong?" said Paul from the other side of the bridge.

  "Let me go!" screamed Mira.

  Mrs. Ross didn't loosen her grip. She spoke to Mira in soft tones. "Why is Paul over there?" she asked.

  Mira didn't know. Why did it matter? "Paul!" she yelled. "Come over here!" Mrs. Ross still had a tight grip on her.

  "I can't kiddo!" yelled Paul back. "Got chickens to feed."

  Mira's mouth dropped slightly. "Paul!" she yelled, "please!" She knew the chicken house was over here, at the Thomas farm. What on earth was he talking about?

  Mrs. Ross spoke again in soothing, low tones. "Is what he's saying making sense, honey?"

  Mira could feel tears start to form in her eyes, but she wasn't ready to cry. Not now. Not ever. She just needed to see Paul. She looked at Mrs. Ross's face. Ada's eyes had filled with tears of sadness.

  That's when Mira knew. She looked again across the bridge. Paul was still there, but he was hazier.

  "Paul!" she yelled. She started to cry. "Paul!" Mrs. Ross held her close. Mira collapsed in her arms. "Paul!"

  Mira looked at Ada and finally said the dreaded words, "He's dead, isn't he? That's why you won't let me cross the bridge." She felt the hot tears, and she choked up again.

  At this point, the image of Paul had disappeared entirely. All that was left was a hazy outline of the Bridge of Forever.

  Mira looked up and said again, "Paul's dead." Only this time it was Ada's turn to cry.

  "I'm so sorry, Mira. My friends and I, we tried everything to stop it. Nothing worked. We couldn't save him. I'm… I'm so sorry…" She cried some more, her voice raspy and her cheeks red.

  Mira looked down at the ground, still hugging Mrs. Ross err... Ada. Her face was flushed and wet, but her mind was putting puzzle pieces together.

  She looked up at Ada again and could barely choke out, "This is why we've never been close, isn't it?" She kept crying. It wasn't because she had married Michael. It was because Mrs. Ross had been burdened with guilt all these years.

  Ada just nodded; she was too busy trying to wipe the tears from her face to talk. She looked Mira in the eyes. "I'm so sorry…" Her eyes filled with tears again.

  Now it was Mira who spoke in a low, soothing tone. She grabbed Ada's other hand. "Ada, it's not your fault." Her lips trembled. "Paul and I both explored and had adventures, and neither one of us knew what we were doing. There was nothing organized back then." She didn’t how Paul had died, but she said, "One day, when we are both feeling better, Ada, I would like it very much if you would tell me about it."

  Ada's eyes filled with more tears. "Of course I will," she said, voice muffled.

  Mira pulled away. She felt different. She looked at herself. She had grown. Up. Way up. She was ready to accept herself and her past Mira was an adult.

  Ada smiled through her tears and cupped her hand around Mira's face. "I am so proud to have you as my daughter-in law."

  This made Mira cry all the more, and the two women hugged. The gang far behind stood silent waiting for the two women to finish and compose themselves. Michael sighed a great sigh of relief. Even he hadn't known the weight of the guilt on his mother. His mother looked younger now than ever. And Mira— Mira was her regular age and so beautiful. He was so grateful for these two strong women in his life.

  The High Five gang was busy also putting puzzle pieces together while the two women near the pond bonded.

  "So Mira probably was reminded of Paul's death when Brandon disappeared in front of her. That started her regression…" pondered Lu aloud.

  "Makes sense to me," said Ed.

  "Then Trina, no offense," said Onie, "blurted out the information that Paul was dead and Mira just wasn't ready to hear it, causing her to regress more."

  Michael wondered why Onie had said 'no offense' to Ed, when she was speaking about Trina. He had been so busy searching for Mira; he forgot to ask about her.

  "Lu," he said, "is Trina going to be all right?"

  "Yep," said Ed, only Michael thought it was Stu.

  "So it was a success!" said Jonathan.

  "You could say that," said Ed.

  ***

  Leave it to Stu to be circumspect, thought Michael. Then he banished the thought from his mind. All that Stu had done for everyone deserved a medal. And what did I do? Traipsed around the astral with Jonathan to find Mira to no avail. I need to get over my distaste or competition or whatever it is about Stu. Stu is a regular member of the gang now, no doubt about it, no matter how young he is. Michael put his arm around Ed.

  "Glad to have you here." he said as a peace offering. The rest of the gang each thought one of the other members had let Michael know that Ed was actually Trina. But that hadn't happened yet. Michael still thought Ed was Stu.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Reconciliation

  While the gang was talking, Ada and Mira held their bonding session by the pond.

  "I'll never call you Mrs. Ross again!" Mira smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

  Ada's eyes teared up. She looked younger, like a weight had been lifted.

  Ada then explained Brandon to Mira, and the danger that Mira had been in. Mira was aghast.

  Mira hugged Ada again. "So you've been following Brandon around when he comes here," she figured out. "But he's so young!"

  "All the more reason to carefully monitor him," said Ada. "Like it or not, this is a family of prodigies." She whispered for emphasis, "He took his whole body here, Mira, his whole body at three! Like it was nothing!"

  "Wow, we have some work to do. Like figuring out how to set up safeguards. You'll help me won't you Ada?" Mira asked. "This will be complicated."

  "Of course I will, dear!" Ada smiled. "And I have a book for you to read when we get back. About my gang when we were young."

  "You had an astral gang?!" Mira was incredulous. There was more about this woman she didn't know than she could have ever imagined.

  "More like a scientific research party."

  "Then you must have thought we were a bunch of losers," Mira said with a frown. "Only in it for the adventure."

  "Not at all," said Ada. "I just couldn't get involved in it, that's all. It is the right of every interested person to explore the astral. Whether they do more than that, or decide to make changes, study, or whatever, is up to them. I'm just here as are many others to support the exploration, but in a safe manner."

  "Hence the astral tour," guesses Mira.

  "Yes, those things were set up for the safety of all. You will need to know all of them since you have Brandon already wandering off. But you don't need to worry, dear, he is not being taken anywhere against his will or kidnapped. He's simply doing what little boys do—exploring—albeit a bit young."

  Ada and Mira turned back and looked at the gang who seemed to be chomping at the bit to come forward. Ada motioned them onward. "Time for reconciliations," she said.

  "I assume you remember them all?" asked Ada to be careful.

  "Why yes, every one of them!" said Mira. And she did. She remembered them all now! All her friends who had just gone through so much for her. For her! Just to keep her safe. She teared up.

  Ada chose not to bring up Trina at this point. The subject needed to come up naturally.

  "Oh," said Mira, looking at the group jogging toward her. "My husband is twelve! I thin
k I will change to be younger again, or I will feel really…um weird."

  Ada laughed. "I would do the same dear."

  In front of her, Mira concentrated on her younger self: her features, her emotions, how she felt when she was twelve. Then she started changing. Some of the gang weren't sure if this was good or not, but not seeing alarm from Mrs. Ross, they figured it must be on purpose. They looked at Michael and guessed why.

  Michael and Mira ran to each other and threw their arms around one another. They didn't kiss but seemed more intent on hugging the breath out of each other and never letting go. Some of the gang got teary-eyed at the sight. Then when they had finally held each other for as long as they needed to feel that each was real, that this was their own husband and wife and not some phantasm, they kissed. Something about their ages, though, made them shy. It was like back when they were teenagers. The gang turned away to give them privacy. Their kiss was tentative but real. Then they held each other tightly once again. After some time of this they walked toward the gang, holding hands.

  The gang congratulated them, and there were hugs all around.

  Then Michael went to check on his mother, still down by the pond.

  Mira stayed with the gang who still surrounded her, hugging her, and that's when they told her about Ed. She was flabbergasted. She hugged and kissed Trina/Ed.

  Michael turned away from the pond, looked twice, and blinked. It couldn't be what it looked like. But there it was. Mira, arms thrown around Ed, kissing him up and down. Jonathan was in the group too and didn't notice Michael standing too far away to hear.

  Mira was telling Trina how sorry she was for what she'd been through and how happy she was that they had found a solution. She wanted to hug Stu when she saw him again. She looked around and wondered why Michael wasn't coming back. Then she threw her arms around Ed again and kissed him again.

  "Hey now!" said Lu, joking.

  The group laughed.

  Michael wondered what the hell was going on, but he was sure of one thing, it wasn't to his liking. His twelve-year-old hormones thought of Mira and Stu together and his blood began to boil. He started walking over there to give them a piece of his mind.