The Way Things Should Be

by Carrie Carr

"Ahem."

  Frowning, Lex looked up from the computer. "Amanda? What's the matter?"

  An incredulous look crossed Amanda's face. "What's the matter? You snapped at me and locked yourself in here, and you want to know what's the matter?" Her voice began to rise as she grew more upset. "I know I screwed up back there, but that's no reason to bite my head off and then ignore me."

  "What?"

  "I'm sorry that I was so concerned about you. I guess just because we're married, I don't have that right." Amanda's temper was in full force, and she had a lot to get off her chest. She pointed her finger at Lex, who had pushed the chair away from the desk and stood up. "I know we're going to disagree on things, but I'll be damned if I'll let you just walk away from me without so much as a word."

  "But I--"

  Amanda moved around the desk until she was less than a foot away from her lover and waved her left hand in front of Lex's face. "We're partners, Lexington Walters. The day you put this ring on my finger, we agreed to share everything. And, for your information, I'd like more than a year to share with you. Life's too precious to go around doing crazy things like you did today." The look that Lex gave her caused Amanda to pause in her tirade. "Well?"

  "Can I talk, now?" Lex asked quietly.

  Amanda pursed her lips in thought. "Okay."

  Taking hold of Amanda's hands, Lex raised them to her lips and kissed them. She looked into her wife's eyes, upset with herself at causing so much anguish in the woman she loved. "I'm sorry, Amanda. I didn't mean to snap at you, I was running out of time to get the ad placed for Jenson's replacement before the deadline for tomorrow's edition." She leaned forward and kissed Amanda lightly on the lips and then pulled away. "And, I'll do my best to not take stupid chances anymore, okay?"

  "Okay." Amanda's ire dissipated almost as quickly as it had flared. She used her thumb to wipe a smudge of dirt from Lex's cheek. "Why don't we go upstairs and get you into the shower? I doubt that Martha will allow you at the lunch table like this." Once Lex emailed her ad, Amanda led her partner from the office, relieved that the misunderstanding was behind them.

  Once upstairs, Lex followed Amanda into the bathroom and allowed herself to be undressed. She was enjoying the attention as her shirt was slowly unbuttoned, until Amanda gasped. "What?"

  Amanda ran her hands delicately across Lex's torso, where a mottled bruise had started to form. "Does this hurt?"

  "Not much," Lex assured her, craning her neck to see. The discoloration covered her lower abdomen just above her hips. "Must be where the saddle got me when that damned horse rolled over." She looked back up into the concerned face of her lover. "Really, sweetheart. I barely feel it." She pulled Amanda close, determined to take the worried look off her face. "Wanna scrub my back?"

  The playful tone caused Amanda to grin. "I think that can be arranged." Her own shirt was pulled from her body before she had a chance to say another word. Moments later, her bra joined the shirt on the floor, and Amanda stood in front of Lex, wearing only her jeans and sneakers. Gentle hands traced the contours of her chest. She trembled in anticipation.

  "Cold?" Lex asked, a sly look on her face. She didn't wait for an answer, but unbuttoned the faded jeans and slid them down. Looking up from where she knelt, Lex wrapped her arms around Amanda's legs and leaned into her. "I love you, Amanda," she murmured.

  "I love you, too." Amanda pulled Lex's head closer to her body and stroked her hair. Once again she was reminded just how precious what they had was, and she vowed to herself to protect their love, no matter what the cost.

  Chapter Four

  THE PASSING SCENERY held little interest for Ellie as she reclined in the car's leather seat. Fields covered by cattle and the small trees were different from what she was used to seeing, but Ellie was more intrigued by the interior of the limousine, having never been in one before. Although the last few days spent with her grandfather had made her more comfortable with him, she still felt completely out of place in her faded jeans, tee shirt and scuffed sneakers.

  She hadn't wanted to abuse his hospitality, but found it continually more difficult to tell him no. Travis, being the sharp businessman he was, proudly used that to his benefit. Since Ellie came to him so late in her life, he was determined to make up for the lost time any way he could. It had taken Travis several hours of gentle persuasion earlier in the morning to convince his granddaughter to call her parents in California.

  Travis's question startled her out of her trance and she looked up to meet his kindly face. "How's your family doing, Ellie?"

  "They're doing fine, sir. Mom is afraid that I'm making a pest of myself." Actually, Naomi Gordon was furious with her daughter, insisting that they'd done just fine without the Edwards family up to that point and not understanding why her daughter was still in Texas.

  Travis couldn't help but laugh. He patted his granddaughter on the knee, pleased when she didn't shy away or flinch. "You've actually been a lot of company to me these past few days. If you'd like, I could talk to your mother and assure her that I practically had to force you to stay with me."

  Inwardly cringing at the thought, Ellie shook her head. A proud woman, her mother would probably inadvertently say something that would offend Travis, and that's the last thing she wanted. "No, that's okay. I think that Mom just doesn't understand why I'm still here." She often wondered the same thing herself, since her original goal of finding and meeting her father's family had been achieved.

  "You can always lay the blame on me, Ellie. I just thought that since I was going back to Somerville so soon, it would be the perfect opportunity for you to meet your cousin." Travis had to admit privately that it wasn't the only reason he'd asked her to stay. The fact that he hadn't known about Ellie's birth was a mitigating factor in his not being involved in her life, but he still felt pangs of guilt for not seeing another granddaughter grow up. Spying familiar terrain, he pointed out the right-hand window. "Speaking of Lexington, the turnoff for her ranch is up ahead."

  The white limousine turned onto a well-graveled road that was almost hidden by oak and cedar trees. Ellie leaned across to get a better view. They had spent the majority of their time talking about her family and his late wife, Melanie, and hadn't really touched on the subject of her cousin. Now she wished she had asked more questions. The covered wooden bridge the car went across seemed well built, if not a little out of place in Texas. "Exactly what kind of ranch are we talking about? Is she some sort of cattle baron or something?"

  "A cattle baron? No, not really. Lexington was given this ranch by her father, and she's worked hard to keep it running. But she raises mostly horses on it, now." He could tell Ellie was nervous and wanted to put her mind at ease. "I think you'll really like her, and her partner, Amanda."

  Ellie was completely confused. "Partner? I thought you said she owned the ranch alone."

  "The ranch is Lexington's, true. But you could say that Amanda has a claim to it by proxy, especially since they've been married. I've never seen two people more in love than those two." Travis smiled fondly in remembrance. "It does my old heart good to see them so happy."

  Ellie's eyes widened at this revelation. "Married?" The idea of two women in that sort of relationship was something she hadn't ever thought much about before. She was about to ask more questions when the car pulled into the circular driveway of the ranch house. It was quite different from what she had expected; the brick exterior looked more like a residence in Dallas than a ranch house out in the middle of nowhere. Ellie mentally gave her cousin points for not living in a log cabin, or something like it. She allowed the driver to help her from the car, Travis not far behind.

  "Beautiful, isn't it? I think the girls chose well when they had it rebuilt." Travis mistook Ellie's silence for awe as he led her up the steps and onto the porch. He was about to knock on the door when it opened, and a tall, slender woman dressed in boots, jeans and a dark blue tee shirt embraced him.

  "Grandpa! You should have called to let us
know you were coming in early. We weren't expecting you until later on today." Her eyes tracked to Ellie, and her face wore an expectant smile. "Hello."

  Travis put his arm around Ellie in a protective gesture. "Lexington, I'd like for you to meet Eleanor Gordon." When Lex held out her hand to the other woman, he added, "Your cousin."

  Cousin? As they shook hands, Lex tried to keep the friendly smile on her face instead of the bewildered expression that was working its way to the surface. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Eleanor." She gave Travis a look that told him he had some explanations to give. Before she could say anything else, another woman came up behind her.

  "Lex, are you going to leave them standing on the porch all afternoon, or are you going to let them in the house?" Amanda put her arm around her wife's waist and pulled her out of the doorway. "Hi, Grandpa Travis. You certainly made good time." She waited until everyone was in the hallway before she gave the older man a firm hug. "I've missed you."

  "I've missed you, too." Travis held out his hand in Ellie's direction. "This is Eleanor Gordon. Ellie, I'd like to introduce you to my other granddaughter, Amanda Cauble."

  Ellie shook hands with the younger woman, easily disarmed by Amanda's bright smile. "Hi, Amanda. It's great to meet you. Please call me Ellie."

  Lex looked on as her lover charmed their guest. She followed the group into the den, standing back and watching her cousin interact with Amanda and Travis. The woman was obviously older than either she or Amanda, and her pale brown eyes were almost golden. She seemed comfortable with their grandfather, and Lex wondered just how long this mysterious "cousin" had been around. Ought to be interesting, to say the least.

  For her part, Ellie had trouble believing that Amanda was one of "those women" that she had sometimes heard whispers about. Her cousin Lex, on the other hand, although attractive, radiated a no-nonsense aura that almost scared her. She had no trouble at all putting Lex into that category. The way the woman stared so intently without speaking unnerved her. This is going to be fun, she thought to herself. Not.

  AFTER THE EVENING meal, Lex excused herself to check on the horses down at the barn. It wasn't long after she finished feeding the animals that the barn door opened and a figure stepped inside. Realizing who it was, she continued to brush Thunder's coat, her back to the unwanted guest.

  "You don't like me much, do you?" Ellie asked, leaning up against one of the rails. Out of habit, she had her hands in the pockets of her denim jacket.

  Lex didn't turn around. "I don't know you."

  "That's true, I suppose." Taking her hands out of her pockets, Ellie moved forward and leaned over the stall door. "I'm not some golddigger, if that's what you're worried about." She watched as the brush glided rougher than before across the dark coat of the stallion. "I don't know much about horses, but it looks like you're trying to rub him raw."

  Glaring over her shoulder, Lex lightened up on the brush. "You're right. You don't know much about horses." Realizing they were going to have this conversation whether she wanted to or not, she stopped her rough stroking of the animal and turned around. "Why are you here?"

  Ellie knew what Lex was asking, and it wasn't about her trip to the barn. "I wanted to know about my family."

  "After all these years? Seems a bit out of the blue to me." At dinner, Travis and Ellie had filled them in about who Ellie was and where she came from, but it still bothered the rancher. "From what you've said, you have a good family back in San Diego. Why bother coming halfway across the country to look up people who didn't even know you existed?"

  "You're right. I do have a good family," Ellie admitted, picking at a rough spot she found on the board she was leaning over. The look that Lex was giving her made her more than a little uncomfortable, and she knew if she continued to meet her cousin's eyes, she'd say something that she might regret. "But all of my life I've felt like some little part of me was missing. When I read the letters that my father wrote to my mother, it made me realize what that part of me was." Ellie finally raised her head to see an unreadable look on Lex's face. "You're lucky to have Travis for a grandfather. In the few days that I've known him, he's made me feel like family. I just wish I'd found those letters sooner, so that maybe I could have met my grandmother, too."

  A pained expression crossed Lex's face at the mention of their grandmother. Because her father and brother kept her in the dark, she had grown up without contact with her grandparents, as well. It had only been in the last year that she rediscovered the love of her grandfather, and the ache that separation caused went bone deep. She didn't trust Ellie, so she decided a subject change was in order. "How long do you plan on being here?" Earlier, and much to Lex's dismay, Amanda had offered Ellie the use of the guest room for as long as she wanted.

  "I'm not sure. Why?"

  "Just asking." Lex opened the stall door and brushed by her cousin. She decided to try to get her grandfather alone so that she could find out all he knew about Ellie. Something just doesn't feel right, here. She's up to something.

  Ellie watched as Lex put the brushes away and left the barn, a determined set to her shoulders. "Nice talking to you," she muttered, staring at the back of the retreating woman. "I wonder if all of her kind have chips on their shoulders like that." Shrugging her shoulders, Ellie left the barn as well, contemplating her next move.

  AMANDA HEARD THE back door slam, and heavy boot steps stomped down the hallway. She looked up from the table where she and Martha were making up the grocery list for the coming week. Travis had excused himself earlier, and was in the den, reading. Amanda's eyes met the housekeeper's. "I don't think Ellie's visit with Lex went very well."

  "Doesn't seem like it, does it?" Martha agreed. She was about to say something else when the back door opened again and the other half of their topic walked into the house. "We're in here, Ellie," she called out, hoping to get some clue as to what had transpired in the barn.

  Ellie poked her head into the kitchen and smiled when she saw that Amanda was with the housekeeper. She stepped further into the kitchen and joined them at the table. "Thanks."

  "Would you like something to drink?" Martha offered.

  Ellie looked at the table, unable to meet their faces. "No, thank you."

  Amanda could feel the agitation coming from Lex's cousin. She wasn't sure what had happened in the barn, but she was aware that for some reason Lex didn't like or trust Ellie, and she was determined to find out why. She touched the older woman's arm in concern. "Are you all right?"

  Am I? Maybe coming here with Travis was a mistake. It's obvious that my cousin has no use for me. Ellie looked up and tried to smile. "I'll be okay." The consideration given to her by this total stranger was comforting, in a strange sort of way. Amanda didn't fit the stereotype that she had in her mind about lesbians, and she felt more comfortable with her than her tough cousin.

  "Is there something I can do to help?" Amanda asked.

  Embarrassed, Ellie pulled her arm away. "Not unless you can tell me what I did to make Lex hate me so."

  "What has she done? Maybe I should go talk to her." Amanda started to rise, but was stopped when Ellie reached out and grabbed her arm.

  "No, wait. I don't want to cause any trouble."

  Martha took the opportunity to chime in. "Lexie doesn't hate you, Ellie. She's just got a lot on her mind and tends to come across that way. It takes her a while to get to know people. Don't let her crankiness get to you." The housekeeper's face wore a comical expression, and the other two women couldn't help but laugh.

  Outside the doorway, Lex paused. She had been about to go into the kitchen, when she heard she was the topic of discussion. Crankiness? That's a load of bullshit. Disgusted, she quietly turned and headed for the master bedroom, deciding to turn in early and keep from having to defend herself to her family.

  "WHAT ABOUT THIS one?" Amanda asked her partner. She held up a pale green baby blanket for inspection.

  Lex cocked her head to one side with a thoughtful look on
her face. "Why green? I thought that girls were supposed to have pink." Surrounded by baby items and maternity clothes, Lex felt entirely out of place. "Besides, I don't know why we're still shopping. We found something for Wanda's baby over twenty minutes ago."

  They had waited until Travis and Ellie had gone to meet the movers at his new home before starting out on the shopping trip. Lex hated to waste a work day, but when Anna Leigh called and had to cancel at the last minute, she didn't want Amanda to go on alone. Now, she was having second thoughts.

  "Yes, but I want to pick out something for Jeannie and her baby. I can't believe that you of all people would think that way. Most pastels are perfectly suitable for either sex."

  "But the baby isn't supposed to be here for another month, right?"

  "And due dates aren't set in stone, Lex. Early deliveries run in my family." Amanda handed the blanket to her lover. "Here. Since you're so dead set against me carrying anything heavier than my purse, you can be the pack mule today." Although she loved Lex dearly, Amanda was sometimes aggravated with her overly protective wife. Her exasperation was short-lived when her eyes landed on a blouse several yards away. "Oh, look! Don't you just love that shade of yellow?"

  A martyred groan was Lex's only response as she dutifully followed. She silently hoped for a reprieve from the shopping excursion, but had an uneasy feeling that it was just beginning. She made what she hoped was an appropriate sound when Amanda held up the blouse and asked her opinion. I swear to God, if we can just go home soon, I promise to never curse again. She accepted the blouse and added it to the growing stack. "Don't you think we should break for lunch? We've been at this for hours."

  Amanda glared at her partner. "It's only been forty-five minutes, Lex. You didn't have to come, you know. I was perfectly capable of driving myself."

  "I know you are, Amanda. But when your grandmother had to cancel at the last minute, I--"