by Carrie Carr
It didn't take long for them to take the breathing apparatus away, along with the heart monitor. The nurse placed a few ice chips on Jeannie's lips while the doctor watched.
He leaned in and smiled. "Now, Mrs. Rivers, can you tell me what your first name is?"
THE ROOM, WHICH had been festive only a short time earlier, was now quiet, except for the sounds of Amanda's crying and Lex's attempted words of comfort. Michael, Jacob, and Anna Leigh had left for the hospital to pick up Lorrie, where she had been taken as a precaution after the accident.
Lex sat stretched out on the leather sofa with Amanda pulled up against her. They hadn't moved since the family left, and Lex was beginning to worry about her wife.
"It's all my fault," Amanda hiccupped, her face still nestled against Lex's chest. "All my fault."
"No, sweetheart. It was an accident. You had nothing to do with it."
Amanda rolled away so that she was sitting on the next cushion. "You don't know that," she snapped.
Lex reached for her, but Amanda scooted farther away. "Yes, I do. You didn't kill Frank, Amanda. It was a car accident."
"But maybe I did. I wanted what they have, Lex. Jeannie's comatose, and Frank's dead. It's all my fault!" Amanda jumped up and would have run from the room, but Lex grabbed her arm. "Let me go!"
"No."
"Dammit, Lex," Amanda struggled to break free. "Let go!"
Lex stood up and faced her irate lover. "I'm not going to let you run away again. What did you mean when you said that you wanted what they have? Are you talking about a baby?"
The phone rang, saving Amanda from answering. Lex limped over to the phone, taking Amanda with her. She used her free hand to pick up the receiver. "Hello?" She paused for a moment, listening. "No, that's great. Thank you." Lex set the phone down, her face registering disbelief.
"What?"
"That was the hospital. Jeannie woke up."
The shock of the situation was almost more than Amanda could bear. Her anger spent, she collapsed into Lex's arms.
NOT TOO FAR from Jeannie's hospital room, a man dressed in scrubs swiped at the floor with a damp mop. He spent more time looking around than actually mopping, but lowered his head as two nurses walked by.
"Isn't it tragic? Poor Mrs. Rivers practically came out of her coma the instant her husband was killed in that car accident," one nurse related to the other.
"Oh, I know. It's just by some miracle that the baby survived. Why, the entire floor was shocked when they heard the news." They continued on their way, not paying any attention to the surprised look on the janitor's face.
Terence dropped his mop. I need to tell Liz. He waited until the two nurses were out of sight, then hurriedly picked up his supplies and hid them in a closet.
Doing a floor-by-floor search, Terence finally found Liz in the hospital gift shop. He looked around to make certain no one else noticed him, then, from another aisle, whispered loudly to get her attention. "Liz!"
The distinguished woman set down the delicate crystal figurine she was looking at and spun around. "Excuse me, do I know you?"
He hurried around the greeting cards and grabbed her arm. "Cut it out, Liz. This is important." Not even bothering to be discreet, Terence pulled Liz from the store, and into the hallway
"This had better be good. I was trying to find a gift for my daughter, you ass."
Terence looked around to make sure no one was looking at them. "Your son-in-law is dead," he whispered.
"Oh, really? Well, isn't that nice."
"Didn't you hear me?" Terence asked, shocked at her attitude.
Liz smiled. "Of course I did. But you're a little late with the news. I heard it about ten minutes ago." She brushed an imaginary speck of lint from her slacks. "It changes nothing, other than making things even easier for me. Now I should have no problem in getting both my daughters, and my granddaughter, back. I just wish that damned redneck bitch had been in the car with him."
Although he shouldn't have been surprised, it still struck Terence as extremely cold-blooded, even for Liz. "But he was the baby's father. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"My dear boy, you should know," Liz leaned in closer, "that all men are expendable."
THE ENTIRE FAMILY stood outside Jeannie's hospital room, including the newly arrived Lex and Amanda. The doctor had just come out to speak to them about Jeannie's condition, and they all waited anxiously for what he was going to say.
"Amazingly, Mrs. Rivers came out of her coma fairly alert. Her speech was affected by the stroke, as were her motor skills." He looked at the concerned faces around him. "She'll need extensive therapy, but she's young and strong. Mrs. Rivers' prognosis is very good. I'm confident that she will make a full recovery over time. Are there any questions?"
Jacob, who had been standing with Anna Leigh, held out his hand. "I think you covered it pretty well, Doctor. Is she up to visitors?"
Nodding, the doctor shook Jacob's hand. "Certainly. Just don't all go barging in there at once. She's still a bit groggy." He adjusted his lab coat. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other patients to check on. Just have me paged if you need anything."
They all watched him go, then Anna Leigh leaned back into her husband's embrace. "What will we tell Jeannie when she asks about Frank?"
"I think I should go in and see how she's doing first," Michael volunteered. "I'm her father, and if she asks, I think it would be best coming from me."
Amanda, who hadn't left Lex's arms, reached out for her father. "Are you sure, Daddy? I can come in with you, if you need me to." She talked bravely, but the last thing Amanda wanted to do was see her sister being told that her husband was dead. I know what I would feel if it were me. I couldn't go on without Lex. Poor Jeannie.
"No, Amanda. That's okay." Knowing the offer for the sacrifice that it was, Michael kissed his daughter's cheek, then squared his shoulders and went into Jeannie's room, closing the door behind him. He was heartened to see all the machines were gone and his daughter appeared to be resting peacefully. Walking slowly to the bed, Michael sat down on the edge and picked up Jeannie's hand. "Hi, sweetie."
Jeannie's eyes opened. Although she seemed happy to see her father, she strained to look past him. "Wher's Fwan?" she slurred.
It took Michael a moment to figure out what Jeannie had said. He used his free hand to touch her face. "We're so glad you're awake, Jeannie. The whole family has been worried about you. And, you've got a beautiful little girl."
Her eyes moistened. Although Jeannie's speech and motor skills were damaged by the stroke, her mind wasn't. "Fwan?"
Michael swallowed hard, his eyes filling with tears, also. "There was a car accident, baby." She looked at him, puzzled. "Honey, I don't know how to tell you this. He--"
Her hand came up and clutched at his arm as she made a strangled sound, her eyes wide. "Wha--wha!"
"Jeannie, Frank didn't make it. I'm afraid he's--"
"Noooo!"
Jeannie's wail could be heard out in the hallway where the gathered family bowed their heads as they wept in shared pain.
AFTER HEARING JEANNIE'S cry, Anna Leigh took her husband by his arm and led him away from Lex and Amanda. Once they were in the elevator, she leaned against him. "That poor child. We need to do something to help Jeannie through this, dearest."
"Such as?" Jacob hurt for their granddaughter also, but he didn't know what his wife was up to.
The doors opened, and Anna Leigh took him by the hand. "Maybe seeing her daughter will help." They stepped out onto the pediatric unit, and she ushered Jacob to the glassed-in room.
The head nurse, who remembered them well from their earlier visits, met them outside. "Mr. and Mrs. Cauble. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss." She reached out and grasped Anna Leigh's hands. "We've been watching Lorraine for any signs of injury or distress, but she seems to have come through all of this just fine."
"Thank you, Serena. It means a lot to us that you've taken such fine care of our gr
eat-granddaughter." Anna Leigh had gotten to know the head pediatric nurse during her frequent visits to the hospital, and felt a bond with the woman who also had her share of grandchildren. Her head turned when another nurse brought Lorrie out and handed her to Jacob.
"You just let us know if we can do anything else, Mrs. Cauble. We'll all be praying for your family." Nurse Serena stood next to the other nurse as the couple walked back to the elevator. "What a horrible thing to happen to a nice family. I hope they come out of it okay."
BACK ON JEANNIE'S floor, Anna Leigh and Jacob returned with Lorrie. They spied Lex and Amanda sitting quietly in the waiting area and walked over to join them. Jacob handed the baby to Amanda, who accepted her niece in silence.
Wanting to make sure she was okay, Amanda carefully inspected the small bundle for any signs of harm. "Hey there, sweetie. How are you doing?" The baby squeaked, but was otherwise silent. "You're so beautiful."
Lex leaned over until her head touched Amanda's. "She's all right, isn't she?"
"It looks like it," Amanda assured her. "She's just so tiny. I can't believe that she survived, much less without a scratch on her." She teared up again at the thought of Frank. "This is just so surreal."
"I know, love." Lex put her arm around Amanda, and was about to say more when Michael finally came out of Jeannie's room. He saw the family in the waiting area and headed over to talk to them.
Jacob immediately put his arm around his son. "How's she doing?"
"Not good, Dad. She's completely shut down."
"What do you mean, dear?" Anna Leigh asked.
Michael looked at his mother's kind face. "She threw me out of her room." He rubbed his face with his hands, then looked down at the floor. "She hates me."
"I'm sure that's not true." Jacob escorted Michael to a chair.
"She's understandably upset. But once she has some time to grieve, she'll be able to handle everything a little better."
"Maybe if she sees Lorrie," Anna Leigh suggested. "Holding her daughter could help."
"She doesn't want to see her, or anyone, right now." Michael didn't tell the family the way Jeannie glared at him after he broke the news of her husband's death. Telling his daughter that she was a mother, and a widow, was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. Being thrown out of her room broke his heart, even though he understood why Jeannie wanted to be alone. "Let's follow her wishes, at least for now. She needs time to sort things out in her mind."
Anna Leigh dusted her hands together. "I don't like it. We shouldn't leave her here all alone. She needs her family with her at a time like this."
Jacob put his arm around his wife's shoulders. "I don't like it either, Anna. But she's a grown woman, and we need to respect her feelings."
"Mom, please. Let's just go back to the house for now, and we'll try again later. Arguing about it isn't good for anyone."
"All right. But I still don't like it." Anna Leigh followed the group to the elevator, looking over her shoulder once at Jeannie's door. "I don't like it at all."
ONCE BACK AT the house, Anna Leigh took Lex by the arm and led her away from Amanda, who had carried the baby into the living room. "Let's go in the kitchen and gather some refreshments for everyone, Lexington."
"Okay," Lex agreed, somewhat confused. She limped behind the older woman, and was barely into the kitchen when her arm was grabbed and she was practically dragged over to the breakfast area to sit down. "I have the feeling this isn't about getting drinks for everyone."
"No, it isn't. I thought about it all the way over here, and I think that you're the perfect person to talk to Jeannie."
Lex laughed, although it wasn't a cheerful sound. "Yeah, right. I'm such an expert on losing husbands." She started to stand. "I don't think so, Anna Leigh."
"Wait, please." Anna Leigh watched the doorway, and when she was certain that they were alone, she leaned over closer to Lex. "You've had a loss in your family recently, Lexington. I think that would give you more insight than any of us, at least in Jeannie's eyes." She reached across the table and touched Lex's hand. "Dearest, who better than you for Jeannie to share her loss with?"
When it was put to her that way, Lex couldn't argue. The loss of her father was still fresh in her mind, although talking about it again would most likely bring all the pain back to the surface. But she'd do anything for Amanda, and that included doing anything for Amanda's family, as well. "I'll try. But I'm not going to promise anything." She thought about how Amanda looked holding Lorrie, and tried to imagine her wife holding their child. Lex now realized how much having a child meant to Amanda, but she still wasn't certain if she was ready for such a drastic change in their lives.
Anna Leigh watched as Lex thought silently. "Is there something else on your mind, Lexington?"
Is there? Just how selfish will she think I am when I tell her my worries about starting a family with her granddaughter? "There is, but I doubt you'll want to hear it."
The woman across from her looked as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, and Anna Leigh hated that she had added to that burden with her request. "What is it?"
"I think Amanda wants to have a baby." Once she'd said the words, Lex knew that she couldn't pull them back. "And I don't think I do." She rolled up the placemat in front of her with nervous hands.
Struggling to keep her surprise from showing on her face, Anna Leigh nodded. "I see. Why don't you, Lexington?"
Lex looked up. "I'm not quite the mothering type. Hell, my mother died when I was little. What kind of role model would I be?"
"Are you saying that Martha has been just your housekeeper, all these years?" Although she knew that most of what Lex said came from fear, Anna Leigh wasn't about to let her get away with the feeble excuse. "What a shame."
"No! Of course not!" Lex got up in a hurry, which caused the chair she was in to slide across the kitchen floor. "You know that's not what I meant. It's just that--"
Anna Leigh stood up with her, using both hands to grasp Lex's arms and keep her from leaving the room. "You're scared." One of her hands touched Lex's cheek tenderly. "Dearest, we're all scared from time to time. But you can't let fear dictate your life."
"It's not just that," Lex whispered. "My mother died giving birth. Jeannie nearly died giving birth." Her voice lowered even more. "I can't lose Amanda like that, Anna Leigh. I can't."
Although the idea of another one of her grandchildren suffering concerned her, too, Anna Leigh put her arms around Lex and brought her close. "I understand your worry, Lexington. But would you rather see her sad and upset for the rest of her life? Because I can tell you right now, the desire to have a child isn't something that just goes away."
The thought sobered Lex. Would she lose Amanda over that? Could their relationship survive such a difference in what the other wanted? She definitely had a lot of thinking to do concerning the subject. Lex put her arms around Anna Leigh and squeezed. "Thanks. I'll go see Jeannie in the morning."
LATER THAT EVENING, Lex stood at the door of the master bedroom and watched Amanda in the rocker holding Lorrie. Earlier, Michael and Jacob had brought the chair and the crib from the nursery into the room so that Lex and Amanda could watch over Lorrie. Getting a preview of the maternal side of her partner was something that Lex had not expected to see so soon, and she was pleasantly surprised by her own reaction. Her heart swelled with love at the picture Amanda and the baby made.
"They look good together, don't they?" Jacob whispered from behind Lex. While downstairs, his wife had briefed him on Lex's worries, and he wanted to see if there was anything that he could do to help alleviate her concerns. "Amanda would make a good mother, I bet."
"I'm sure she would," Lex whispered, so as not to disturb the scene. She turned to face Jacob. "Thanks for helping get everything brought over to our room. I'm afraid that Amanda would have ended up sleeping in the nursery if you hadn't." And of course I'd end up there with her, with the two of us napping on the floor. Bringing the c
rib and rocker into the master bedroom makes a lot more sense.
He chuckled, then patted Lex on the shoulder. "She's a mite protective of that little one, isn't she?"
Turning back to look into the room, Lex couldn't help but agree. Amanda hadn't put the baby down since they got back from the hospital. "I think we're all going to be."
"Probably so." Jacob noticed the dark circles under Lex's eyes. "Why don't you go on in there, and you three get some rest? Michael's still trying to track down Frank's parents, so there's really not much more that can be done right now."
"That's probably the best suggestion I've heard in days." Lex gave Jacob a firm hug, then watched as he went down the hallway toward the stairs. She walked slowly into the bedroom, hoping that Amanda would not be startled by her sudden appearance.
Sensing someone else in the room, Amanda looked up and smiled at her partner. "Hi," she whispered, not wanting to wake the baby. She could tell by the way that Lex limped that her leg was bothering her. "Could you come here?"
Lex nodded and moved to stand in front of the rocker. "How's she doing?"
"Good." Amanda shifted the baby so that she could raise the small bundle. "Could you take her so that I can get up? I'm afraid my leg has fallen asleep." Although it wasn't a lie, Amanda knew she'd have no problem rising. She just wanted to give Lex an opportunity to hold Lorrie, which she'd avoided doing so far.
"Me? Hold her?" Lex took a step back. "Do you really think that's a good idea? I've never held a baby before." The closest she'd ever come to holding a baby was when she had been a teenager, and one of her friend's cats had kittens. She'd held one of the blind, mewing tufts of fur, terrified the entire time that she'd crush it in her hands. Lorrie's not much bigger than one of those kittens. I can't do this!
Amanda barely lifted the baby. "Come here, Lex. I'll show you how."
Breaking wild horses didn't scare her as much as taking that step forward and putting her hands under the sleeping infant. "God, she's tiny," Lex marveled. She let Amanda place her hands in the correct position, and then she was holding Lorrie. "I bet one of my boots weighs more than she does."