by Carrie Carr
"I'm sure they do." Amanda gently guided the baby in Lex's hands until her wife was holding Lorrie correctly. "See? There's nothing to it."
Lex looked down at the sleeping child, her eyes almost tearing up with emotion. "She's beautiful, Amanda." Holding the baby in her arms, with her lover by her side, made Lex realize what Amanda had been wanting. She didn't know if she was quite ready for such a step, but she vowed to herself to seriously consider it, if not for Amanda's sake, then for her own. "We're going to take good care of you, Lil' Bit," she promised the baby, "and your mama, too." She looked up into Amanda's eyes. "Aren't we?"
"We sure are." Amanda leaned forward and kissed the top of the baby's head, then kissed Lex on the lips.
Chapter Twelve
MICHAEL STORMED OUT of the formal den where he had been on the phone. "Those obnoxious, self-involved, arrogant assholes!" He almost ran over his father, who held out a hand to stop his progress.
"What's the matter, son?"
Still fuming, Michael willed himself to calm down, although all he wanted to do was tear a couple of choice heads from their bodies. "They acted like it wasn't that big of a deal, Dad. I told them their son was dead, and all they seemed to be worried about was missing the next leg of their vacation." He paced around the living room, shaking his head. "Now I know why we never got along. The Rivers have a wine tasting to attend in France, then they'll head home. It'll probably be late next week, though." He leaned against the back of a heavy leather sofa. "Please tell me I never got that bad."
Jacob placed his hands in his pockets while he appeared to give the question a lot of consideration. "You were there for the birth of both your daughters, weren't you? And for their high school and college graduations?"
"Yeah. But you know the girls. Do you think I would have been able to miss something as important as their graduations?"
"True." Jacob agreed with his son on that one. "And, before you say it, I know there were a lot of things you did miss. I'm not condoning that, but I do understand it. You were the head of your own company, Michael. There were times when you couldn't drop everything and run off to a piano recital."
Although he knew his father was right, Michael also acknowledged there were more times than he could count where he could have adjusted his schedule for his children. But at the time, he thought that work was more important. And just look at me now. I'm struggling to make ends meet as a photographer, but I've never been happier in my entire life. "Thanks, Dad." Something, no, someone, was missing. "Where's Mom?"
"She drove Lex, Amanda, and the baby up to the hospital this morning. I thought I'd stay behind and see if I could help you with the arrangements for Frank."
Michael nodded. "I know we need to decide something soon, but I was hoping to see what Jeannie wanted." In spite of the fact that he was thrilled that his daughter had come out of her coma, he didn't look forward to the conversation concerning the disposition of her husband's remains. "Do you think that she'll be ready to talk today? I hate upsetting her."
"Your mother is supposed to call and let me know." Jacob put an arm around Michael's shoulders and guided him into the kitchen. "How about I whip up some breakfast for the two of us while we wait? Or some coffee, at the very least."
"SITTING THERE IGNORING me isn't going to make me go away," Amanda stated softly. She stood at her sister's bedside, trying to get some sort of reaction out of Jeannie.
For her part, Jeannie continued to look at the opposite wall. She had heard Amanda come into the room earlier, but just didn't feel like talking with anyone. Buffeted by a wave of despair that threatened to engulf her, she longed to disappear back into the nothingness of her coma. There, she wouldn't have to feel the pain of losing her husband. She wouldn't have to be aware of how helpless she was following her stroke. She wouldn't have to face the challenge of raising a child who would never know her father. Or of struggling for every movement and for every word.
Jeannie finally spoke. "Go 'way, Manda. Weave me wone." Fresh tears sprang into her eyes at the garbled words that came out of her mouth. I sound like such an idiot. Why didn't I die, too? She hoped that if she ignored her sister long enough, Amanda would get the hint and leave.
Amanda rubbed her hand across Jeannie's arm, trying to soothe her any way she could. "Do you think that Frank would want you to feel this way? I understand it's painful, but--"
"Shud up!" Jeannie turned her head to glare at her sister. "You don' know ow I beel. You couldnd!" Her eyes conveyed all the anger that her words could not. "Go back do your berfec wuber, an' your berfec widdle wife. Dus weave me be." Jeannie turned her head away to face the wall. "Go 'way," she finished in an anguished voice.
"I love you, Jeannie," Amanda murmured, right before she gave her sister's arm one last squeeze. She left the room and stumbled down the hall to the waiting area, where Lex was watching Anna Leigh talk nonsense to the baby. Amanda sat beside her grandmother and tried to wipe the tears of hurt from her eyes.
Lex put one hand on Amanda's shoulder and leaned down to make eye contact with her. "I take it that it didn't go too well in there, huh?"
"That's putting it mildly." Scrubbing her face with her hands, Amanda inhaled deeply then released the breath slowly. "She's in such pain that she is alternating between self-pity and anger. I tried to talk to her, but she told me that I couldn't know how she felt and ordered me to leave the room."
Anna Leigh looked up at Lex expectantly. She didn't have to speak, her eyes conveyed all she wanted to say.
Lex stood up tall and stretched. "Well, I guess it's my turn then." The last thing she wanted to do was go into that hospital room, but she'd given her word and she never went back on that. She held out her hands to Anna Leigh, who handed the baby to her. "Come on, Lil' Bit. Let's go see your Mama."
Anna Leigh and Amanda watched as Lex carried the infant down the hallway, then disappeared into Jeannie's room. "She certainly looks a lot more comfortable with Lorrie this morning," Anna Leigh commented.
Amanda couldn't help but smile. "She should. I think Lex took as many turns as I did getting up with her last night. When I woke up this morning, Lex was propped up on pillows in the bed with the baby sprawled on her chest, both of them sound asleep. If Lorrie wasn't so young, I'd almost be jealous," she tried to joke, but her heart just wasn't in it.
Pushing the door open slowly, Lex peeked inside. She saw Jeannie lay still in the bed, her face turned toward the wall. She must have heard the door open, because her head turned slightly, then returned to its previous position.
"Hi, Jeannie. I brought you another visitor," Lex explained quietly. Hospitals always gave her the creeps, and this one was no exception.
"Go 'way," Jeannie grumbled, not bothering to turn her head.
Lex ignored the plea, instead sitting in the chair next to the bed. "I'm afraid I can't do that just yet. At least not until we talk for a bit."
"I don' wan' 'alk. I can'. Wisen me. I soun' wike iiod." Jeannie began to cry softly. "Pwese go 'way, Wex."
Lex moved to the edge of the bed. She held the baby in one arm, while she used her free hand to touch Jeannie's shoulder. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Jeannie. There are a lot of folks who care about you, and we all want to do what we can to help you get through this terrible time."
Jeannie shook her head and squeezed her eyes tightly shut, wanting to escape--wanting to be anywhere but where she was, who she was, and how she felt.
"I wish there was something that we could say or do to make everything better for you. This has got to be the hardest thing you've ever had to face." Lex patted the baby, who had started to stir in her arms. She gazed into the baby's eyes. Lorrie was watching her intently. Lex smiled down at her and stroked the tiny cheek with her fingertips. When she raised her eyes again, she saw Jeannie turn her head away. All of the losses in Lex's life surfaced, along with the realization of her deep protective feelings for Jeannie's child. Lex's heart demanded to be expressed. Jeannie's loss became her loss
, and the words she spoke next were for the both of them.
"This isn't how it's supposed to be. Frank should be here holding his daughter. You shouldn't have had a stroke. You should be together. You, Frank, and Lorrie. You should be a family. This isn't fair. It isn't right. You shouldn't have to have people standing over you telling you that everything is going to be all right when it's not. When you know deep in your heart that nothing will ever take away the hurt. When all you can hope for is to find a way to live with the pain. This isn't the way it's supposed to be," Lex repeated.
Jeannie turned her head back toward Lex and raised her opened hand to her as if making a plea. Then she shut her eyes again in one last attempt to stem the flow of tears and sorrow that threatened to sweep her away in their intensity.
Lex shifted her hold on the baby and took Jeannie's hand. "I can't make it stop, Jeannie. I can't wake you up from this nightmare." Lex's voice got even quieter and her eyes clouded as her own grief rose to the surface. "It wasn't that long ago I lost my father. Even though we had our differences, I worshipped the ground that man walked on. My entire life was spent trying to be good enough for him, and it took him dying before we reconciled that." Lex realized she'd said more than she should have and cleared her throat to cover her embarrassment. "Anyway, after he was gone, I spent a lot of time brooding over things I couldn't change. All my chances to be a daughter to him were gone. I hated that. I resented that I had to grow up not knowing my mother, and then lose my father just as I found out that he really didn't hate me. Don't do that to Lorrie."
She placed Lorrie in the crook of Jeannie's arm, then drew it up so it cradled the baby. "There's a little girl here who needs her mama. That means you've got a lot to live for. You've got to love her for both you and Frank."
Jeannie's head turned and she looked down at the infant beside her. "God Fwank's hair," she marveled as fresh tears tracked down her face. Then her eyes glanced up and met Lex's. Emotionally spent, all she could do was nod.
"SHE LOOKS SO melancholy. Probably due to living with that woman," Liz snarled. Her view of her daughter was eclipsed by Lex leaving Jeannie's room and walking over to stand in front of Amanda. She pulled her head back around the corner, not wanting to be seen. Yet. Turning around, she crossed her arms over her chest. "So?" she demanded of Terence. "Tell me you have some good news, for a change."
He scratched at the base of his neck, wishing once again that he could get into his expensive suits and leave the hospital wear behind. "From what I've gathered, your daughter's condition has improved quite a bit. As a matter of fact, they may want to release her in the next few days." A quick slap against his arm caused Terence to cry out. "Ow! What was that for?"
Liz grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him close. "You imbecile. I wanted to know about Amanda! I already know my other daughter's condition. She's a half-crippled, barely intelligible mess. Lord knows what I'll be able to do with her."
"But Liz."
"Don't whine to me, you mealy-mouthed little idiot. I need to know what that hick has done to my little girl to make her so upset. If we can figure that out, it should give me just what I need to take Amanda away from her for good." Liz released his shirt, then wiped her hand on it as if soiled. "One way or another, I'm taking my daughter back."
His eyes wide, Terence watched as Liz retreated down the hall. "That woman is completely crazy." He brushed at the creases in the front of his uniform before taking a different route through the hospital. "I guess that makes me just as nuts, since I'm working for her," he muttered. No matter how hard he tried, Terence couldn't figure out how to get away from Liz without risking her retaliation. But, he reminded himself, at least the pay is good.
AFTER A LONG morning at the hospital, the family was just about to sit down for a late lunch when the phone rang. Michael, being the closest, answered the call. He waited for several moments, then a smile broke out onto his face. "It's good to hear from you, Charlie. Yes, thank you very much. Sure, hold on a moment." He held the receiver out. "Lex, it's for you."
Lex walked around the kitchen table and took the phone. "Thanks." She held the receiver up to her ear and unconsciously turned away from everyone. "Charlie?"
"Martha told me the news. How are you girls holding up?"
Before going to bed the night before, Lex had spent a long time on the phone with Martha, telling the housekeeper everything that had happened. Since she had to be the support for Amanda, she needed someone to talk to that could be her support. "About as good as can be expected, I suppose," Lex murmured into the phone. "It's really rough around here."
"I can just imagine, kiddo." Charlie was quiet for a moment, then cleared his throat. "I checked out those explosions you said you heard. Seems like whoever owns the property north of you was blowing some rock to make a dam on the creek. They've also cleared a bunch of the land nearby, but I don't know what for. I've got deputies trying to find out more."
"I thought the creek had been dammed. The water was too low for it to have happened naturally." Lex leaned against the counter top, watching as the rest of the family passed plates at the table and tried not to listen in to her conversation. "Since the creek is a source of water for several properties, they can't legally dam it, can they?" With the running of the ranch in her hands for so many years, Lex tried to keep up with all the laws and statutes that affected the ranch. It had saved her many times in the past.
"They couldn't, if they dammed it completely. But as it is, water is getting through, albeit slowly," Charlie answered apologetically. "We're not even sure who owns the property, yet."
Lex reflected on the events of recent weeks. At the bidding, Andrew Wilson had seemed a little too anxious to buy the property she had just acquired. Now she just needed to find out who he worked for. "He certainly wasn't smart enough to be working on his own," she mumbled.
"What was that?"
"Oh, sorry about that. I was just thinking about the other bidders there the day I picked up the new property. Some guy was pretty hot about buying it from me."
"Did you get his name?" Charlie asked, still in lawman mode. "I can try checking him out."
"Yeah. He said his name was Andrew Wilson, for all the good that'll do you. I have a feeling this is a lot bigger than we think, Charlie." Lex rubbed her forehead to stave off the headache that was coming on.
"You're probably right. I think while I'm at it, I'll check the tax records for the entire area. Could be someone's up to something."
"All right."
Charlie's voice changed to a quieter tone. "Are you okay, Lex?"
"Sure, Charlie. I'm just fine." She didn't feel fine, though. The gravity of the situation, as well as everything else that had happened, was weighing heavily on her mind. She knew that it was going to get a lot worse before it got better.
"Uh-huh." Not convinced, Charlie let the question drop. "I know you're probably busy out there, so I'll let you go. Give us a ring if you need anything, all right?"
"I sure will. Thank you." Lex hung up the phone, feeling more worn out than before. She turned around and her eyes sought out her partner's. "If everyone will excuse me, I'm not very hungry right now." Lex left the room, and Amanda stood up as well.
"I think I'll go--" Amanda gestured to the doorway where Lex had just made her exit.
Anna Leigh spoke for everyone else in the room. "You go right ahead, dearest. We'll listen for the baby." Lorrie had fallen asleep on the way back from the hospital, and Michael had placed her in the bassinet in the living room. "Let us know if you or Lexington need anything."
"Thanks, Gramma." Amanda rushed out of the room in search of her partner. Not finding Lex on the main floor, she was about to ascend the stairs when she noticed the front door slightly ajar.
Lex sat on the front steps, her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. She heard the door open and wasn't surprised when she felt someone sit beside her. Her mind was spinning with what Charlie had told her. Lex wondered if whoev
er bought and dammed the property was involved with her losing her money. She didn't think so, but stranger things had happened. Now there was the added burden of Frank's death and what they were going to do about Jeannie and the baby.
"Lex?" Amanda put her hand on her lover's arm. "Is everything okay at home?"
Raising her head, Lex turned and looked into Amanda's face. "Yeah, things are okay there. Charlie just wanted to let me know that whoever owns the property north of ours has cleared the land and partially dammed the creek. He's still trying to find out who and why." She tried to force a smile onto her face, but wasn't very successful. "Sorry for running out on lunch like that."
Amanda scooted closer and put her arm around Lex's waist. "You don't have to apologize, Lex. I just want to help if I can."
"That's what I want to do," Lex whispered. "I want to help you, and your family. There's just so much going on." She tilted her head to the side until it touched Amanda's. The contact made Lex feel better, but she knew there was a lot they still had to talk about.
LATER THAT DAY, Michael stormed out of Jeannie's hospital room. He nearly ran over the man who was mopping the floors. "Excuse me. I didn't mean to--"
"No, that's all right. It happens all the time," the janitor assured him. He picked up his mop and dropped the head back into the rolling bucket. "No problem." Not bothering to take his orange caution cone with him, the man wheeled the bucket around the corner and out of sight.
Michael watched the man leave, then shook his head. "Strange. I swear that guy is here all the time, cleaning the floor." He went in search of his mother and father, who had made the trip to the hospital with him. Finding them in the waiting area, Michael sat down beside his mother and leaned back in the chair. "How did I manage to have two daughters that were so damned stubborn?"