by Carrie Carr
"It's been something I'd been meaning to do for a long time, actually. But with Jeannie confined to a wheelchair for the time being, I thought it would be easier for her to get around." Lex studied the ground beneath their feet as they walked. "It's not right for her to be cooped up inside all the time. I just wanted to give her a bit more freedom."
"That's really nice of you."
Lex cleared her throat, uncomfortable with the way the conversation was heading. "She's family." She stopped in her tracks and turned to face Ellie. "And so are you. I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot."
The apology was something that Ellie hadn't expected, and she stood frozen in surprise for a moment. She's apologizing to me? What's going on here? "Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, Lex. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for being such a self-righteous jerk when we first met." She waited until her words registered and then said, "Not to mention, I found out that we have more in common than I first thought."
"Oh?"
"Uh, yeah." Now it was Ellie's turn to be embarrassed. "Here I am, thirty-six years old, and I finally figure out that I'm gay. The chip on my shoulder came from a lifetime of denial. I guess I was upset with you because you seemed so open and comfortable with yourself."
Whoa. I never saw that one coming. Lex held out her hand and smiled. "How about we start over, then? Hi, cousin. Welcome to the family."
Ellie took the offered hand and pulled Lex into a hug. "Thanks, cousin." She didn't know if she was more relieved at Lex's apparent acceptance of her, or that she was finally able to get it all off her chest. Feeling the arms around her tighten, she decided it didn't matter.
Chapter Eighteen
AS THEY WALKED back to the house, Ellie remembered something from earlier. She didn't know for certain quite how Lex would react to her suggestion, but feeling that their relationship was headed in the right direction, she decided to give it a try. "Lex?"
"Hmm?"
"Have you tried to hire someone to help with Amanda's sister?"
Lex stayed quiet for several minutes while they continued their trek along the recently poured walkway. She watched as two of the alarm installers carried wireless equipment to Martha and Charlie's house, feeling relieved that by the time they went to bed tonight, both houses would be protected. Ellie's question had caught her off guard. "Not yet. I don't want to put Jeannie through any more stress than is necessary, and bringing in a new person every day would probably do just that." Her steps never faltered, but she turned to look Ellie in the face. "Why do you ask?"
"Would you mind introducing me to her? I mean, we're practically family, aren't we?"
"Sure. I've got some work to do inside, so maybe you can spend some time with Amanda and Jeannie."
Just hearing Amanda's name caused Ellie's heart to beat faster. Knowing that it was pointless, she still couldn't help but feel almost giddy at the thought of spending more time with the woman of her dreams. Not wanting to damage the tenuous bond she had formed with Lex, Ellie tried to keep a neutral look on her face. "That would be great."
Still not all that comfortable with the woman walking beside her, Lex tried to make polite conversation. "Are you planning on staying around for a while, or is this just a visit?" They climbed the steps to the porch and she held the back door open for Ellie to precede her. She misinterpreted her cousin's continued silence. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"Actually, that's something else I wanted to talk to you about. I'd like to help out around here, if you'd let me."
Not sure that she'd heard correctly, Lex stopped abruptly in the hallway. "You want to work on the ranch?" She couldn't help comparing Ellie to herself. Older, smaller, and never looking like she'd worked outside a day in her life, Ellie just didn't seem like the type who would be comfortable throwing bales of hay or cleaning out stables. "Just exactly what is it you want to do?"
Embarrassed by Lex's intent perusal, Ellie blushed. "Not what you're thinking, I'm sure." At Lex's confused look, she continued, "In San Diego, I worked for a couple of years as a nurse's assistant. I was just thinking that if Amanda's sister was okay with it, I could help take over some of her care."
"A nurse's assistant? Why not a nurse?" As soon as the words left her mouth, Lex wanted to take them back. She could see that the subject was a touchy one for Ellie. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by that."
"No, that's okay. You just reminded me of my mother for a second." Ellie smiled to take the sting out of her words. "She always complained about me not going to nursing school, even though I didn't have the grades for it. And since I've had to work full-time to get myself through college, it's taken me longer." She looked down at the floor. "A few years ago, I thought I'd fallen in love, and I quit to help put him through law school. As soon as he passed the bar, he found someone else. So, I'm running behind on my education."
Having had her heart shattered by love, Lex knew what Ellie was talking about. She put her hand on her cousin's arm in a comforting gesture. "I'm sorry."
Ellie closed her eyes for a moment. "It was a long time ago, at least it feels like it now." She opened her eyes and looked into Lex's face. "Of course, now I know that he wouldn't have been able to make me very happy in the long run, would he? So, I guess it was all for the best."
"Maybe." Seeing the lost look in the other woman's eyes, Lex pulled Ellie into a hug. "You're with family now. So if there's anything we can do to help you with your studies, let us know."
"Thanks, Lex." For the first time in a very long time, Ellie felt truly at home. And it felt good.
THE NOISY DINER hadn't been his first choice of a place to have a meal, but Billings wanted to stay in town until he was able to finish some business. He had removed his tie and jacket and left them in his car, not wanting to stand out too much in the small town. Now he watched as a man in a dark business suit opened the front glass door to the establishment and stepped inside to look around. Rolling his eyes at his associate's inability to blend in, Billings raised his hand slightly to get Andrew Wilson's attention. "Where the hell have you been?" he whispered roughly.
"Sorry. I got lost." Realizing how alien he looked, Andrew loosened his tie and waved to the waitress. "Excuse me, but can I get a cup of coffee?" At her nod, he turned his attention to Billings. "What's the big deal? I'm only about five minutes late."
"The big deal is that our boss has been on my ass all morning. I talked to that damned rancher earlier, and she--"
"Here you go, hon." The buxom waitress placed a cup of coffee in front of Andrew. Her platinum blonde hair was in disarray and her makeup was smeared, but she was still a lovely woman. "Would you like something to eat?"
Andrew smiled at her friendly tone. "What do you recommend?" He hadn't had any intention of ordering a meal, but she was too nice to rebuff.
"I'd recommend the steakhouse across town," she whispered conspiratorially. "Or a sandwich, if you really want to eat here. Just stay away from the fried foods."
"I think I'll stick with the coffee." Andrew noticed her nametag. "Thank you, Francine."
Once the waitress had left their area, Billings thumped the table with his fist. "Are you through flirting yet, or should I leave you alone with your little friend?"
"I was just being polite."
"Never mind." Billings looked around, then stood up. "Come on. I don't want to discuss business in here. There are too many ears around us." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ten dollar bill, more than twice what his tab came to, and tossed it on the table. He led the way out of the diner with Wilson right behind him.
They went around the corner of the building to the parking lot and got into Billings' rental car. Once they were safely inside, the older man took a cigar from the console and lit it, enjoying the flavor as it rolled around in his mouth. He turned to look at his companion, who was trying to wave the heavy smoke away from his face. "As I was saying inside, I called the rancher earlier."
"What
exactly did you say to her?" Unable to stand the smell any longer, Andrew opened his window to let air into the car.
Billings couldn't keep the smug look from his face. "Oh, I may have mentioned how rough the ranching business is, and of course gave her my condolences on the death of one of her horses."
The sick feeling returned to Andrew's stomach. He knew that they had planned on doing something out at the woman's ranch to discourage her, but he'd never figured them for killing animals. "You killed her horse?"
"I told you we had to do something, you idiot. She wouldn't listen to reason."
Andrew was afraid of the answer he'd get, but he had to ask. "And did it get the results you wanted?"
"No." Billings chewed on his cigar for a few minutes as he thought. He finally rolled down the driver's side window and spat a wad of the tobacco onto the ground outside, then turned back to face Andrew. "I thought I'd give her a while, then call her back. You know, let her think about things for a while." Billings leaned across the seat and opened the glove box, where he had left his cell phone. He turned the device on and hit the redial button.
AFTER INTRODUCING ELLIE to Jeannie, Lex left the small room, not comfortable with all the people in such close quarters. She knew that Amanda would be a good buffer between the two women, and only a tiny part of Lex wanted to stay behind and make certain Ellie kept her distance from her wife. Shaking her head at the jealous thoughts, Lex crossed the den to the desk in the corner and sat down.
Between the new property and the expense of the state of the art alarm system, Lex felt the need to contact the bank and make an appointment to discuss her finances, or lack thereof. She flipped through the Rolodex until she found the number she was looking for, then dialed. It took a minute or so of talking with clerks and waiting, but soon the voice of the bank president came on the line.
"Ms. Walters, what a pleasant surprise. To what do I owe this pleasure?" Mr. Collins was always over-solicitous, and his rapid breathing was a sure sign that he was nervous.
"I'm sure you're aware of my recent expenditures, Mr. Collins." Lex looked around the quiet den, glad that she was alone. "I'd like to come in sometime tomorrow, if you have the time, and talk about getting a loan."
Collins was quiet, not certain if he'd heard her correctly. "A loan?"
"Yes. I'm sure it would only need to be short-term, but because of some recent developments that I don't want to get into over the phone, I'm a little strapped for cash at the moment."
"Oh." The heavy breathing continued as the bank president weighed the options. "Of course, Ms. Walters. I'll be here all day tomorrow, so just come right in whenever it's convenient for you."
"Thank you, Mr. Collins. I appreciate it." Lex hung up, hating the thought of borrowing money. She was about to push the chair away from the desk when the phone rang. Thinking it might be Mr. Collins calling back, she quickly picked up the receiver. "Hello?"
"Walters, have you had time to think some more about my offer?" The low, scratchy voice sounded threatening, even as quiet as it was.
I don't need this. "Look, asshole. I don't know who you think you are, or why you want that piece of land so badly, but you can take your money and shove it up your ass." She sounded a lot braver than she felt, and when she reached for a pencil on the desk, Lex was dismayed to see her hand was shaking.
"Do you remember what I said about the dangers of ranching? That doesn't just mean the animals, you know. Living so far away from town isn't safe, lady. Anything could happen to any one of the people in that house."
"Are you threatening me?"
"Just stating a fact." The voice became even quieter. "I'm tired of jacking around with you, Walters. If I hang up now without results, we'll get that land another way."
Lex took a deep breath, then released it. "Go to hell." She slammed down the phone, trying hard not to throw up. The longer she sat there, the madder she got. "I don't know who that son of a bitch thinks he is, threatening me like that." She got to her feet and stomped across the den, going into Jeannie's room.
"What are you doing?" Amanda asked, seeing her partner go over to the door on the other side of the room. Even though the house had been completed gutted by the fire earlier in the year, the gun safe had suffered only minor damage. When the house was rebuilt after Amanda's mother, in a psychotic fit, burned it down, Lex had the contractor hide the gun safe in a closet in the office.
"Just a precaution." Opening the external door that hid the gun safe, Lex dialed the combination and opened the heavy steel inside door. She pulled out a rifle and checked the bolt, satisfied that it was loaded and ready to go. Putting that gun back into the safe, she repeated the procedure several more times, keeping the last rifle out before locking the safe and closing the outer door.
Amanda put her hand on Lex's arm to keep her from leaving the room. "A precaution? What kind of precaution includes guns?" She looked from Jeannie to Ellie, her own heart starting to pound as her lover remained silent. "Lex? Tell me what's going on."
Not wanting to frighten Amanda, Lex was unsure of what to tell her, so she kept quiet. She allowed the rifle to rest against her shoulder as she left the room, her mind struggling to come up with a way to protect her family in the event that the man carried out his implied threat. She heard footsteps behind her, but didn't stop. She knew that Amanda would follow her.
Once they were upstairs and in the master bedroom, Lex made certain that the safety was on and placed the rifle under her side of the bed. She got up from the floor and looked into her wife's stormy eyes, knowing that she was about to get lambasted for leaving the office without giving an explanation for her actions. "Before you say anything, let me--"
"Oh, so now you want to talk?" Amanda put her hands on her hips and glared at Lex. "You couldn't have the decency to tell me downstairs?"
"Amanda, please." Lex sat on the bed and bowed her head, waiting for the rest of the explosion. The silence she received instead surprised her, and she looked up to see tears tracking down Amanda's face. "Hey."
Wiping at her face, Amanda stayed a few steps away. "It hurts that you don't trust me enough to confide in me, Lex. I thought we were partners." Tired of the distance between them, she finally sat next to her wife, but refused to look at her. "I know we've been having difficulties lately, and I know they've mostly been my fault."
"No, sweetheart. It's not--" Lex was silenced by Amanda's hand on her leg. She felt her fear dissipate, leaving behind a heavy weariness. When the hand found hers and squeezed, the weariness was replaced by hope.
"We've got a lot of things to clear up, don't we?"
They did, but Lex didn't know if she could handle going through them at the moment. All she wanted to do was curl up somewhere with Amanda and let the world pass them by, at least for a few days. Lex was tired of everything that had happened, and had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach that it wasn't over.
DOWNSTAIRS, ELLIE WASN'T too sure what had transpired between Lex and Amanda, but the fussing of the baby demanded her attention. Not wanting to just snatch Lorrie from her mother, she asked, "May I?" At Jeannie's slight nod, Ellie picked up the crying infant. "Someone needs a change." She looked around until she spotted the changing table tucked away in the corner of the room. Once Lorrie's needs had been met, Ellie was about to place her back next to her mother when Jeannie shook her head.
"Oo hol' 'er." The moment the words left Jeannie's mouth, her face turned red. She was tired of sounding so ridiculous and was afraid to look up into Ellie's face for fear of seeing either ridicule or pity.
Ellie rocked the baby in her arms. "You're such a beautiful little girl." She could tell that Jeannie was upset and wanted to try to ease her fears, so she decided to talk to Lorrie, hoping that Jeannie would listen. "When I was about seven, there was a playground about a block from our house. I'd go there with my friends and spend the day swinging, using the slide, and all sorts of fun things." She glanced out of the corner of her eye, and could see that
she had Jeannie's undivided attention. "One day, I was pushing my best friend Rhonda in the swing. The seats were made from this heavy plastic, and were suspended by thick chains, so I was pushing as hard as I could to get her high into the air." Ellie stopped the story, reliving the moment.
"Wha' 'appen?"
"At the highest point, Rhonda jumped, and the swing came back and smashed me right in the face." Ellie couldn't remember all of the details, but she did remember the blood and the pain from the broken jaw. "I spent the next two years undergoing reconstructive surgery, not to mention having to learn to talk all over again." She looked Jeannie directly in the eyes. "The more you speak, the better you'll be at it. I'm a nurse's assistant, not a licensed speech therapist, but I can get some books on speech therapy and help you, if you'd like."
"Weally? Bu' why?"
That was the question of the day. Why, indeed? At first, Ellie had wanted to help around the house in order to have an excuse to stay, so that she could be near Amanda, and get to know Lex a little better. But when she met Jeannie, she knew that she wanted to help this woman get as much of her life back as possible.
"You're family."
By the look on Jeannie's face, Ellie knew that wasn't a good enough answer. "I like you, Jeannie. You're a good person, and you've tolerated my grumpy cousin." She looked down at Amanda's sister, finally able to see the resemblance. But what she felt for Jeannie was protective, and she hoped that they'd be able to build a good friendship. "But even if we weren't family, I'd like to be your friend."
Jeannie held out her hand, glad when it was accepted. "I'd wike dat too."
AFTER THAT EVENING'S meal, both households settled down into their own quiet routines. Martha, Charlie and Ronnie went back to the cottage, while the occupants of the main house decided to make it an early night and retire.
In the darkened den, Lex sat quietly thinking about the earlier phone call, while Amanda and Lorrie bade Jeannie goodnight. She knew that the man who had called her was behind the death of the filly, but couldn't understand what was so important about that one parcel of land. The thought that she should just give in rankled her, but keeping the people she loved safe was her top priority. "Maybe I'm just being stubborn."