Just a Little Kiss

by Renita Pizzitola

  Her hand stilled and her eyebrows drew together. “Everything okay?”

  I nodded. “Just memorizing.”

  The corner of her mouth tilted up. “What?”

  “This. You. Everything.”

  A full smile erupted, and I committed that to memory, as well.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Because whether you’re in my bed or not, this is what I’ll be thinking about when I am. And that, Felicity, is the reality of it.” Then I pressed my mouth back to hers to finish what I hoped was really only the beginning.

  Chapter 17

  Felicity

  Brinley and her boyfriend were already at the restaurant by the time we arrived. They were sitting in a booth near the back. Ryder had leaned to whisper something in Brinley’s ear that made her cheeks flame red, but when they saw us approach, he shifted away with a little grin as she straightened upright.

  “Hey Mason.” She slipped out of the booth and gave him a big hug.

  Brinley was maybe an inch or two taller than me, with a body most girls would die for. She had long brown hair, tan skin and light eyes, with this total girl-next-door appeal. A few freckles across her nose. Friendly appearance. Very pretty. If Mason so much as tried to compare me to her, I’d fail miserably.

  I smoothed my hair, hyperaware at how unmanageable it was today.

  “You’re so tan.” Brinley stepped back and looked Mason over like a mom checks their kid for stains before church. “And have you been working out?” She scrunched her face.

  I couldn’t help but smile at her reaction to him. Clearly, there was no romantic interest on her part.

  “No. Just working hard.”

  Brinley’s boyfriend slipped out of the booth to greet us, and whoa, he was super tall and oozed laid-back confidence. He had messy dark hair and a pierced lip. Kind of intimidating, but definitely didn’t look like the “stray” Mason had led me to expect. At least from what I could tell. Then again, he did look different than what I’d picture Brinley with. But they seemed to be really into each other.

  “This is Felicity.” Mason pulled me in front of him since I’d been sort of hiding behind him while checking everyone out.

  Brinley smiled. “Nice to meet you, Felicity.” She reached for her boyfriend. “This is Ryder.”

  “Hi.” Ryder cocked a smile.

  I greeted them both, then we all sat down. Which I was grateful for. If I was sizing them up, I could only imagine what they were thinking about me in return.

  “Is Fallon coming?” Mason asked, taking the menu Brinley offered him.

  “She may stop by.” She grinned. “You’ll be surprised. She’s kind of different now.”

  “Why’s that?” He opened the menu and pushed it between us so I could read along.

  Brinley’s smile widened. “Cade.”

  Mason’s head shot up. “They’re still together?”

  Brinley nodded then leaned toward Ryder to see the menu they shared.

  “Wow. Guess there’s a first time for everything.”

  Brinley pointed to something at the menu then straightened, turning her attention to me. “So Felicity, Mason says you live next door to him?”

  I nodded, kind of embarrassed to talk about the houseboat I lived on after seeing the places they lived. “Yeah. That’s how we met. Well, that and I’m friends with his cousin.”

  “I think it would be so cool to live on a houseboat.” She smiled. “Though Mason said it made him seasick.”

  I patted Mason’s thigh. “It takes some getting used to.”

  His fingers slid over mine, holding my hand in place. I glanced at him but he was still staring at the menu.

  “Did you get to see the inside of your apartment?” she asked Mason.

  He looked up, a smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah. We checked it out.”

  “How was it? You got the furnished one, right?” Brinley asked.

  Mason’s fingers squeezed mine. “Yep, fully furnished.”

  “That’s cool.” Brinley tapped a straw on the table, slid it from the paper sleeve then popped it into her water glass. “Did you do the roommate match after all?”

  “Nah, I’m moving in with Nate. His other roommate bailed last minute.”

  “What’s roommate match?” I asked.

  “Like a dorm, if you don’t have a roommate they pair you with one. It’s a split-rent system so you have your own lease and your own bills,” Mason said.

  I had no idea something like that existed. Could I qualify, or did you have to be a college student? I could never afford a whole apartment, but I might be able to swing rent.

  “I’m surprised Nate is getting an apartment. He practically lives at his girlfriend’s place,” Ryder said, flipping the menu closed.

  “Sounds like someone else I know.” A blonde appeared with a smile on her face.

  Ryder grinned and Brinley laughed. “You’re one to talk. I was just wondering if I should start forwarding your mail to Cade’s.” She turned to me. “Felicity, this is my roommate, Fallon.”

  She greeted me then tossed a smirk in Mason’s direction. “What’s up, Mason?”

  “Not much.” He seemed tense, and I wondered what exactly this tiny little girl could say or do to have him that strung out. She really was tiny. Cute too. She looked totally harmless.

  “So is this lunch or an intervention? Looks like you’ve been on performance enhancers or something.” Fallon poked his shoulder. “But I guess the real question is: Is your performance enhanced?”

  Ah, there it was. But Mason didn’t even flinch. “So I hear you’re giving monogamy a shot. How’s that working out for you?”

  My jaw dropped and I stared at Mason, but Fallon only grinned.

  “Fan-fucking-tastic. Emphasis on the fucking.”

  What in the world was wrong with these two?

  Brinley turned to me. “Just ignore them. This is how we know they love each other. The day they stop doing this is the day I start to worry.”

  Mason turned to me, like suddenly remembering I was there. He offered a sheepish grin then glanced back at Fallon. “You staying for lunch? We can make room.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t. Cade’s in the car with Scout but I wanted to stop by and meet Felicity.” She looked at me. “Brinley’s told me all about you. All good, of course.”

  Mason’s gaze darted to Brinley then back to Fallon.

  “Um, that’s good. I guess.” Mason had been talking about me? To his friends?

  “Well, I need to get going. But it was nice meeting you.”

  “You too.” I smiled.

  Ryder, who’d said few words but seemed to be taking it all in, finally spoke up. “Tell Cade I’m in for Friday night.”

  “Cool. I’ll let him know.”

  Mason stared at Ryder, maybe surprised he hung out with Cade. I wasn’t sure, but clearly, this group of friends had a lot going on within them, and I was an outsider to it all. It’s like there was my Mason back in Port Lucia, and this Mason who was their friend. And I was lost in the middle.

  Fallon left and we finally ordered food. Brinley was really friendly and kept the conversation going throughout lunch, but mostly it revolved around her and Mason. They had a lot of history. And no matter how much she tried to involve me, my life was too different. Like when they started talking about upcoming fall classes. They discussed courses and professors, and even Ryder, who I discovered was a year older, got in on the conversation, telling them who he liked and what he’d heard about different classes. When the conversation came back around to me, I was embarrassed to talk about my life. What was I supposed to say? I was a waitress at the local you catch ’em we grill ’em. I lived on a boat that didn’t work. I had three sisters, two nieces and one—soon to be two—nephews, and didn’t exactly grow up with money or the best education. I’d never considered myself poor or stupid, or anything negative really, but in this moment I felt very beneath them.

  After lunch, Mas
on told Brinley she needed to come visit us at the beach, and while my home turf may help my comfort level, I still wasn’t sure how I’d feel about them seeing what my life really looked like. Especially since I think she had a romanticized notion of what a houseboat was. I wasn’t living on a yacht. It was just a boat. An old one at that.

  We said goodbye and went our separate ways, Brinley and Ryder off to do whatever college kids did—since it clearly wasn’t waitressing or scrubbing a boat deck—and Mason and I went to meet his aunt Elise at her studio.

  “Everything okay?” Mason placed his hand on mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You were kind of quiet during lunch.” He glanced at me then focused back on the road and the heavy freeway traffic. “You know I was just giving Fallon shit. She honestly doesn’t mind. I hope you don’t think I’m an asshole or anything.”

  I’d kind of forgotten all about his comments to her. “No, it’s cool. Clearly, she didn’t mind. You guys just have a unique way of showing your friendship.” I forced a smile.

  “Okay, so if it’s not that, then what?” He flipped his blinker on and cruised across two lanes of traffic to hit an exit ramp. “You don’t think I have a thing for Brinley, do you?”

  I wasn’t thinking about that anymore either…until now. “Do you?”

  “No. She’s just my best friend. But I’ll be honest. For a long time, I thought I did.”

  I studied him. “You thought?”

  He nodded. “Just kind of figured one day we’d end up together.”

  So Brinley was his Brody. It all started to add up. Like the way he understood how I could love Brody and want the best for him, but not be in love with him. Of course, a baby came between us. What led to Mason’s realization?

  “What changed your mind?” I asked.

  “I guess it was a lot of things, and, really, I still wasn’t sure about everything…until I met you.”

  I stiffened. That I hadn’t expected. If there was one thing I knew, it was that he had more of a future with her than with me. “Mason…you know—”

  “I’m not proposing, Felicity. I’m just saying you’ve helped me realize things.”

  “Okay.”

  “Do you want to know what I’ve realized?”

  “Uh…” I squirmed in my seat, not really wanting to have this conversation, considering we had a three-hour car ride home. “I don’t know.”

  “I’m not professing my undying love either.” He shook his head. “Is it really so bad to think I might just like you?”

  “No, it’s…C’mon, Mason, we both know this is all it will ever be. Your life is here. Your friends. Your school. Your apartment. And then there’s me. We don’t coexist.”

  “You know that’s the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve ever heard. You do coexist because you’re all a part of my fucking life. My friends, school, you. It’s all one and the same to me. It’s my life, it’s what I give a shit about, and like it or not, you’re pretty fucking high on that list right now.”

  I stared at Mason and his knuckles whitening on the steering wheel, then I watched as his shoulders sagged and he shook his head.

  “When I realized Brinley didn’t have feelings for me, I was annoyed, confused, all these emotions that basically said life wasn’t going according to plan. But here I am all over again, the same fucking realization with you…but this time it hurts. I don’t have a plan. I have no fucking clue where we’ll be tomorrow, yet here I am, reaching out, taking whatever I can get, minute by fucking minute, knowing it’ll never be enough, yet happy to get anything at all. You see the difference? Because I sure can.”

  How did I respond to that? There for damn sure wasn’t a right answer. I hated that I’d made him feel this way. In fact, everything I did was to try and avoid hurting him in the long run.

  “Mason—”

  “We’re here.”

  He pulled into a parking space but didn’t give me a chance to say anything else before hopping out of the car. Not that I’d had a good response to everything he’d just admitted anyway, but I’d at least try to smooth things over.

  I stepped out and followed him to a building that looked more like a warehouse than a studio of any sort. He pulled open a heavy metal door, and I was greeted by a lady who basically could be me in thirty years. His aunt Elise’s hair was as crazy as mine, but tinged with red. She’d clipped it away from her face yet it had no plans of cooperating, and several curls framed her face. Big chunky jewelry accented her tank top, and the black-and white-striped maxi skirt she wore looked like something hanging in my closet.

  “I was wondering when you’d get here.” Her bracelets clinked together as she wrapped Mason in a hug. “And this must be Felicity.” She hugged me as well then stepped back. “I’m so excited to meet you. A fellow photographer.” She clapped her hands. “Mason, get comfortable while I talk shop with your girlfriend.”

  “I’m not—”

  “My girlfriend,” Mason muttered.

  “A photographer,” I finished.

  Mason turned to me but I kept looking at his aunt Elise.

  She stared between the two of us. “You’re most definitely a photographer.” She waved her hand as she turned and started walking toward a cluttered desk. “Don’t know about the rest of that stuff, but I saw your work. You’re a photographer.”

  “You saw my work?” What was she talking about? I didn’t have any work.

  “The pictures Mason emailed me.”

  I spun to Mason.

  He rubbed his eyes and quietly said, “When I was working on your computer, I found some pictures you took—”

  “And you sent them?” I was horrified. Those weren’t for anyone else to see. Just me, messing around.

  “Aunt Elise wanted to see some of your stuff. I knew you’d never send it on your own. I’m sorry, but look, she thought they were great. She wouldn’t say that if she didn’t mean it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets.

  “Felicity, come look at this.”

  His aunt waved me over to her desk, where she had a laptop open with one of my pictures on the screen. This one happened to be a picture of an old wooden pier at sunset. There was a tree in the background that dipped down at just the right angle so that it had almost looked like a hand hanging from the sky. The whole thing had this weird dark vibe that I’d totally been into at the time. Probably because it was taken right around the time Brody was welcoming his new baby into the world. A lot of my pictures were a bit on the darker side around then.

  “I love the use of angles in this one. That tree is stunning, and I love how your focal point is clearly this pier, yet the tree captures all my attention. It’s magnificent, and such a unique perspective.” She scrolled to the next picture. “But then, in complete juxtaposition, is a shot like this.”

  This one was taken in the evening right when Mason’s fishing charter was coming back into the harbor. It was sunset, but we’d also had some storms pass through, so one half of the sky was still dark and heavy with clouds, but the other side had almost a purple tint with hints of pink.

  “This.” She pointed at the screen. “It’s just…Wow. What does this photo say to you?”

  I shrugged. “Split in two. Storms and sunshine. But neither really in reach.” Did that sound dumb? It felt dumb to say aloud. “The storm was passing but the sun was setting.”

  “You don’t have to explain it. I just wanted to hear it in your words.” She smiled. “And these are all unedited? That’s amazing. Nowadays people use filters and more digital enhancements than I can count. Nothing wrong with that. But I’m still a bit old school.” She leaned back in her chair. “Of course, Photoshop pays the bills.”

  She stood and motioned me to a stack of albums.

  “I’m lucky to get to do what I love. But I’m also practical about it. These pay the bills.” She slid an album in front of me; inside were shots of weddings, families, couples. Typical photography sessions but amazing at the same time. It was as if somehow I c
ould feel the personalities of these complete strangers through these pictures.

  “These, on the other hand, are for me. And when I’m lucky, I sell a few.” She slid a second album in front of me with beautiful shots. My little photos paled in comparison. She had this way of using negative space that made a picture absolutely stunning. Like it wasn’t what I saw, but what I couldn’t see that intrigued me.

  I flipped through the album slowly, one by one analyzing what made each picture unique and eye-catching, as if I could absorb all her knowledge and talent merely from viewing her photos. At some point Mason had sat down in an overstuffed chair that probably doubled as a prop, but he never rushed me. Didn’t even make a sound. The room was quiet while I was mesmerized by each picture.

  I finally looked up and realized they were both watching me. “These are amazing.”

  “I’m glad you think so.” Elise smiled then motioned for me to follow her. “Let me show you around.”

  A small smile graced Mason’s lips as he watched me walk away.

  Thankfully, she loved to talk about her work because I had a zillion questions. Most people probably would’ve found me annoying, but she seemed to enjoy it as much as I did, and by the time we’d made our way back to Mason, I was completely in love with his aunt. She was everything I hoped to be one day.

  And it hit me. One day. As in the future. I did have one. Or at least aspirations for one. But that was all I needed. Something to look forward to. A dream to have and the desire to get there.

  It was like a million pounds of anxiety lifted from my shoulders with that realization.

  As I passed by Mason, he snagged my hand and pulled me into his lap. I smiled at him, not caring about this display of affection in front of his aunt. I was too happy to care. Plus, with her free-loving personality, she didn’t strike me as someone who’d object to it.