Demon Marked: Shadowguard Academy Book 2
Page 19
Logan whirls around and lowers his head so his face is right in front of mine. “Aspen, it’s not crazy.” His breath fogs in the cold air, gently blowing into my face.
I gape at him. “What? What do you mean? Of course, it’s crazy!” I lower my voice to barely above a whisper, “Reincarnation’s not a thing, Logan.”
“It is,” he counters, effectively deflating my moment of levity. Anxiety roars back with a vengeance. My entire body begins to shake, and it’s not from the cold.
“What are you saying, Logan? How much of our conversation did you hear?”
A flash of regret illuminates his face.
“Never mind. Just forget it.” I try to step around him and continue on, but Logan touches my shoulder lightly. It proves to be just as effective as if he grabbed me again.
“Aspen. Stop.”
I spin back around, and his sympathetic expression is nearly my undoing.
“No. You stop. You can’t seriously believe in reincarnation, Logan. It’s ridiculous.”
“No,” he counters. “It’s rare. And unusual. But it’s not ridiculous. Andrew was right. There are plenty of books that document its occurrence.” He resumes walking.
I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
I increase my speed to catch up to him. “Document, how? How does someone know they’re reincarnated? And how do they prove it?”
I’m all about facts and evidence. Without those, I’m not going to believe him. No matter what he says. No matter how much I trust him.
“Most of the time, people who are reincarnated can remember their past lives,” he states.
“But I don’t remember anything!” I argue, determined to get him on my side.
He doesn’t respond.
The girl’s dormitory comes into view. Logan walks inside, leading me right to my dorm room.
“Key.” He holds out his hand.
I pat the sides of the sweatpants someone else had dressed me in. “I don’t have it.”
Logan’s gaze trails over me, taking in my rumbled clothes. “Right.”
He takes his stylus and draws an unfamiliar pattern on his palm. Then, he places his hand on the doorknob. Two seconds later, the door swings open and I’m pushed inside. Logan closes the door behind us soundly.
I spin around. “Logan, talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
He dives into Cortney’s closet and comes out with a bright yellow duffle back. He tosses it into my chest. “Pack some clothes and toiletries. We’re going away for a few days.”
“What?” I stare at the bag, confused. “Where? Why?”
Logan tucks his hands into his pockets, suddenly trying to appear relaxed, but the lines around his eyes reveal otherwise. “Do you trust me?”
Do I?
“Yes.” I find myself answering without much consideration. It’s the truth. Even if there’s a possibility Logan betrayed some of my secrets to Andrew, I still trust he has my best interests at heart.
He offers me a small, but tense, smile. “Then please, trust me. I’ll explain everything once we’re on the road.” He glances pointedly around the room.
I purse my lips. “Can you at least give me a hint about where we’re going?”
He tilts his head, considering my question. “Somewhere far away from here.”
I almost roll my eyes. “Yes, but where?”
Logan meets my impatient gaze and reveals, “I think it’s time we go visit your old friends.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Let me get this straight.” Logan veers his Escalade through traffic with ease. Long Island is behind us, and we’re traveling down I-95 way above the speed limit. “Azazel infiltrated the dream you’ve been trapped in since the night of the gala, and he said vampires have been attacking mundane demons?”
I nod and brace myself against the fancy leather seat to keep from being flung into the passenger side door. “That’s what he said.”
“And he thinks they’re from the New York coven?”
“Yes.” I’ve been in a car with Logan many times now, but it’s never been this chaotic before. I’m getting motion sick from the constant sway of the vehicle.
“But why wouldn’t Victor say anything?” He wonders out loud, making another swift lane change. My seatbelt locks to hold me in place, pressing painfully into my shoulder.
“Maybe it’s not him?” I offer.
“It has to be. An original demon wouldn’t make such a mistake.”
I close my eyes when we get too close to the semi-truck in front of us. I hear the click of Logan’s blinker one moment before we veer to the right.
Only once the car steadies for more than five seconds do I open my eyes.
“Maybe Victor doesn’t trust us after the raid squad crashed the gala.”
“It’s possible.” Logan stares ahead. His forehead is furrowed, as it always is when he’s in deep thought. “But the raid squad didn’t do anything but sweep the area for demons.”
Without warning, he changes the subject, “So you came to my office to tell me about Azazel intruding in your dream and how he mentioned vampires.” He shoots me a quick glance before returning his attention to the road. “But what happened to bring up the topic of reincarnation?”
I shift my legs, suddenly uncomfortable despite the luxurious seat in the fancy vehicle. “Oh, you know. It just kind of happened.”
“How?” Logan stresses the word.
“Well.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I entered the office looking stressed, and Andrew decided to ask if it had something to do with Belial.”
I let accusation seep into my voice as I add, “Funny how you never told me Andrew knew about him.”
Logan sighs. “I know. I’m sorry. After the mess in the junkyard, and then the conversation with my father… I didn’t know how to tell you Andrew pressed me for information. I didn’t want you to worry.”
So Andrew knew the truth before the gala… interesting.
I shrug. “It’s whatever. Not really a big deal.” In the grand scheme of things, Andrew knowing an original demon is fascinated with me isn’t the worst thing to ever happen. That honor belongs to the fact he also thinks I’m an ancient Guardian who’s been reborn.
I really don’t want the subject to be brought up, but there’s no way to avoid it. I can practically see the burning questions radiating off of Logan.
I close my eyes.
“What is it?”
I lean my head against the cool glass. “Let’s just get this over with.”
“Get what over with?”
With my eyes still closed, I wave a hand in the air. “You know… talking about the whole reincarnation and soulmate of an original demon thing.”
The car jerks. My head bangs painfully against the window.
“Ow!” I wince, rubbing the sore spot. “What was that?”
“Andrew said you are Belial’s soulmate?” Logan sounds shocked, and a little fearful.
That can’t be good.
I sit up straight. “Andrew said Hermona was Belial’s soulmate. Not me.”
Silence builds between us. It’s clear Logan doesn’t know what to make of this latest revelation. I just hope it doesn’t make him change his mind about helping me.
More than a minute passes before Logan exhales and finally says, “I had no idea.”
“Yeah. Well, I guess your family isn’t as obsessed with demon history as Andrew’s. Nothing to be ashamed of.” I aim for levity, but the humor falls flat.
I don’t believe any of this, not even in the slightest, but if I’m really the reincarnation of Hermona… and Belial and she really shared a deep bond that can only be described as soulmates… yeah. This definitely isn’t funny.
“I’m sorry,” Logan says, once again being the one to break the silence.
“For what?” I keep looking forward, unable to meet his eye while we have this conversation.
“For the situation you’re in. I know it can’t be e
asy.”
“Because it’s not real. ” I shake my head, trying to clear away the insane and impossible notions. “It can’t be.”
I’m just a normal girl whose dream is to become a Guardian. A girl whose mom died prematurely and hid her daughter from Shadowguard society, and whose powers haven’t manifested like normal…
Alright.
Fine.
I’m not normal.
Logan doesn’t say anything right away, and that’s almost worse than if he just outright confirmed he thinks Andrew is right about who I am.
“How long?”
“What?” Logan keeps his eyes on the road.
“This reincarnation nonsense… how long have you known about it?”
“Well… I technically don’t know anything.”
“But you didn’t act too surprised,” I remind him, somewhat accusingly. “So let me rephrase. How long have you suspected?”
Logan grips the wheel tighter. “Not long.”
I wait for him to continue.
When he doesn’t, I prompt, “Care to explain?”
If he wants me to keep trusting him, he better come clean. Or else this mentor/mentee relationship is about to hit a serious road block.
Once again, Logan exhales a heavy sigh. Without warning, he quickly turns and exits the highway.
I grip the roof’s handle, but don’t comment on the risky maneuver, not even when I hear a car horn blaring behind us.
Logan pulls into a gas station parking lot, turns off the engine, then shifts so he faces me.
My stomach twists, making me feel nauseous. Suddenly, I don’t know if I want to hear what he’s about to say.
Logan watches me for a few seconds. “I’ve been looking into your mother’s identity.”
What?
My heart begins to race. I haven’t had the chance to tell him Victor’s told me her name. I wonder what he’s learned on his own.
“Have you found anything?”
His lips form a straight line. “No.”
The hope building in my chest instantly deflates, replaced by confusion. “I don’t get it. What does this have to do with the reincarnation stuff?”
“At first, nothing. I wasn’t too surprised when I couldn’t find information about either of your parents. But then I started to wonder… why? Why would your mother raise you outside of our society? Why would she hide your existence?” He shakes his head, as if still baffled by the questions.
I understand how he feels.
“But then I realized it was really simple. Your mom was trying to protect you. But from what?” He runs his hand over his face, and I realize just how tired he looks.
Logan’s been working missions assigned by the Shadowguard, as well as investigating our own mission. Add to that the stress of the attack on the gala and my coma, and I wonder when he last got a full night of sleep.
“There must’ve been something that happened to make your mom go into hiding,” Logan continues. “There must’ve been an event that triggered her to abandon Guardian life completely. So I started digging for information.”
My heart continues to race, and I feel like it’s going to beat straight out of my chest. “What did you find?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
I stare at him blankly, unable to believe what I just heard. I wait for Logan to continue.
He doesn’t.
Fury ignites my temper.
“What is your problem?” I shrill. “Do you like messing with me? This isn’t funny, Logan. If you aren’t going to tell me anything, then turn this car around and take me back to St. Michael’s and stop wasting my time.”
“No, Aspen. You don’t understand. I found nothing.” His eyes plead with me to understand what he’s saying, but I’m at a loss.
Anger makes me breathe heavily, and I struggle to form a coherent thought. “What do you mean?”
“I searched Shadowguard records from nineteen to twenty years ago. All of them. Even the secret ones. But I found absolutely nothing.”
I blink slowly, more confused than ever. “How is that possible?”
“I don’t know for sure, but I have a guess.”
Thankfully, Logan doesn’t make me wait for an explanation this time. “I spent most of my childhood sitting in the corner of informal council meetings and political dinners. My dad wanted me to become familiar with the lifestyle of a leader. He’d decided I would become Head Minister before he was even elected to the position himself.”
I feel a pang of sympathy for the younger Logan. I can only imagine how dreary and boring such a childhood could be.
Even though my mom died and I had a couple of miserable years living on the streets, at least I have happy memories with her to look back on.
Like how we’d always go to the local ice cream shop after school on Fridays and split a triple scoop banana split sundae. Even now, thinking about how my mom and I would try to smear whip cream on each other’s faces brings a smile to my lips.
“During these meetings, I heard a lot of things from important Guardians and council members. No one really bothered to censor themselves around me. After all, I was just a kid. But even as a kid, I had a great memory.”
Anticipation builds. “What do you remember?”
“At the time, I was really into stories about the first Guardians. I thought Thaddeus was such a badass, and his kids were awesome. I wanted to be a warrior as strong and powerful as his first born, Nassar. And,” he pauses. I’m shocked to see a blush tinge his cheekbones.
“And?”
He clears his throat. “And I wanted to marry Hermona. She and Rael had the most epic children’s tales written about them. And the illustrator drew her well.”
If this weren’t such a tense moment, I might’ve laughed. Though, to be fair, I’m pretty sure all kids have a crush on a cartoon character at one point or the other. I remember being particularly fond of many fairytale princes. But that was before I became the heroine, determined to never need anyone else to take care of me. I can fight my own demons. Literally.
“Anyway, I remember one night in my father’s study. I was reading by his fireplace when I heard one of his guests mention Thaddeus’s bloodline.”
Logan’s eyes glaze over as he loses himself in the memory. “Naturally, I stopped reading to listen. I remember how the men talked about Thaddeus’s bloodline like it was still active. Not in the diluted way that we all have a link to the original family, but in a more distinct and notable way… That’s when I first heard the concept of reincarnation.”
The haze clears from his gaze when he looks at me. “It’s a real thing, Aspen. At any given time, there are reincarnations of all of Thaddeus’s children in the Guardian community.”
“Then why haven’t I heard about this before?” I know I grew up outside the magical world, but I have a hard time believing I wouldn’t have heard this interesting piece of information if it’s such common knowledge.
“Because it was decided a long time ago that no one would seek out the reincarnations.”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t know. But I started to wonder if this had anything to do with you or your family. So I started searching records for any unusual Guardian activity in the past. But like I said, the records are wiped clean. Someone erased years of records, and I don’t know if my father and the council are even aware.”
“What if your dad is the one who erased it?” That sounds like something a corrupt politician would do.
“It’s possible,” Logan says. “But I don’t think it’s likely. Those records included his exploits as a young Guardian. His achievements built his reputation. He wouldn’t want them destroyed out of vanity.”
I stare out the window, watching cars drive in and out of the gas station. “Then who would do it?”
“Someone who wanted to be wiped out of the history books,” Logan speaks softly. “Someone who wanted to make sure there was no record of their existence. Or any
thing they may have done as a Guardian.”
Like breaking Shadowguard code and going rogue on missions.
I sigh. It’s time to tell Logan the truth. “I know her name.”
“What?”
I swallow back my doubt and meet his confused gaze. “My mom’s name. Victor knew her, and he told me her name at the gala. It’s Anya Jansen.”
“Anya Jansen,” Logan repeats, then tilts his head. “I’ve never heard of her.”
“That was probably her point.”
“How did Victor know her?”
I share what Victor and Gage told me at the gala, leaving out Vivian’s involvement. I trust Logan, but I don’t want to risk that information getting out before I have the chance to talk to Vivian myself. I want to hear her side of the story. I want to know why she never told me she knew my mom.
When I finish, Logan stays silent. He processes all I’ve said, incorporating it with the information he already knows.
“You think my mom erased the records to hide her misconduct.”
“No,” Logan denies my statement. “I mean… I do think your mom had something to do with the missing records, but you said Victor claimed her actions had never been discovered. There would be no record of any misconduct if that were the case. That’s not why she should would get rid of them.”
“Then why?”
He gives me a pointed look. “Why do you think?”
“Me?” I croak.
He nods. “That’s my guess.”
“But why?” I feel like all I’m doing is constantly asking “why”.
What was so bad about me that my mom needed to give up her life to hide us from the Shadowguard?
Logan’s look doesn’t go away. If anything, it intensifies with knowing. He’s trying to get me to figure out the why on my own.
I hate the explanation that comes to mind. I long to dismiss it as nothing but nonsense, but I can’t afford to be stubborn. Not about this.
I close my eyes. “Does this have to do with the reincarnation stuff?”
“I believe so.” Regret laces his response. At least he’s acknowledging this isn’t easy.
I open my eyes as he continues, “I dug into any information I could find on reincarnations, but there was very little said about Hermona. I couldn’t figure out why there were no known records of her reincarnations, not until you said Andrew called you Belial’s soulmate.”