Nikolai (Dangerous Love Series Book 1)

by Kristin Alexander

  I felt myself becoming choked up at what Nikolai was saying. To have someone want to help me, protect me, and, honestly, avenge me this way was overwhelming. I’d felt so alone for so long.

  I put a hand on his chest, feeling his heart pounding under my fingers. “He’s not worth it.”

  “But what better way to make him afraid of me than by beating the shit out of him?” I almost laughed at how matter of fact he sounded about his desire to draw somebody’s blood. He was continuing to argue with me, but his heart wasn’t really in it. He knew it was a bad idea, as hard as it was to completely let it go.

  Nikolai handed his beer back to Jack, then moved his hands so they were stationed against the wall on either side of my head. “It’s not like he doesn’t fucking deserve it, Hannah.”

  “Believe me, Nikolai, I know he deserves it. Nobody knows that better than me.” I paused so that could sink in, because it as fucking true. His eyes softened a bit as I’m sure he was remembering things I’d told him about my experiences with Jeff. However, that led to his expression getting angry all over again, so I quickly continued. “But even with all that, I don’t want to see you fight anyone. You deserve to finish high school and keep you promise. You can’t let your anger make your choices, especially when the consequences might be so severe. Please.” I ended my pitch by literally folding my hands together in front of him in a pleading gesture.

  Nikolai sighed and looked at the wall over my head. “Jesus Christ, Hannah.” He looked resigned. I know he wanted to fight Jeff, which was kind of sweet in a weird way, but he also knew it was important to finish school.

  He dropped his light blue gaze to mine, one of his hands coming off the wall to hold my jaw lightly and rub his thumb on my cheek. “Okay, Hannah, this is the deal. I won’t go jump Connors. However, if he starts anything with either you or me, especially you, I’m not sure I can continue to be so practical.”

  I held his gaze and moved my hands up to hold his face, rubbing my own thumbs against his whisker-roughened skin. “Deal.” I whispered, and then leaned in and kissed him. It was the first time I had ever initiated any sexual contact between us and I felt the slightest twinge of worry he wouldn’t respond. My fears vanished quickly as Nikolai immediately responded by wrapping his arms around me, and even though I had started the kiss, he quickly took control of it. I felt his tongue surge into my mouth, wrapping around mine as I struggled to control my urge to rub against him. I hadn’t meant it as a distraction, but it definitely worked as one. I heard Jack chuckle as he walked away, and I think Nikolai took his hand off me for a second to flip him off.

  “Jesus, Hannah, we have to get control of this,” Nikolai said after several minutes of kissing against the wall, his hand lightly caressing the skin of my lower back, under my shirt. Giving me a look of concentrated frustration, he gave me on last hard kiss on the mouth, grabbed my hand and pulled us over to where Jack was talking to a new girl.

  Was this all just an act? It hadn’t felt like one. Sadly, I knew I wasn’t acting at all, but I also didn’t have enough experience to tell if Nikolai was or not. I had decided to just act as though all of this was real and postpone my heartbreak for tomorrow.

  As we walked up to where Jack was stationed by the keg, I realized I recognized the girl he was talking to. Her name was Ava Fisher, and she was new student this year. I had actually had a brief, friendly interaction with her in one of my classes when she had needed to borrow a pen from me. I think we were both too awkward and self-conscious to actually initiate a friendship, so I was happy to see her here.

  Jack had a disgruntled look on his face as he was talking to her, so she must not be falling for his bullshit. I don’t blame him for trying though, because Ava was beautiful. She had white blond hair cut bluntly, and stylishly above her shoulders and light green eyes the color of peridots. She looked like she was a transfer student from Sweden or something, but in actuality, I think she was from Michigan. I also loved her style, envying her outfit of jeans, ankle boots and a light poncho in various shades of green that brought out the color of her eyes. She was now frowning with her arms crossed as she looked up at Jack.

  “Hi, Ava,” I said as we approached with Nikolai’s arm firmly wrapped around my shoulders. I don’t think we had once lost physical contact since we got out of the car. Not that I minded.

  “Hannah!” Ava responded, a smile of surprised joy lighting up her features.

  I gave Jack a quick glance and noticed his intent stare focused on Ava as she smiled at me, and bit back my grin. It looks like Ava had picked up an admirer. I wasn’t sure which one I felt sorry for.

  Ava reached out for my arm. “I’m so glad you’re here. You look amazing! I love that top.” She did look genuinely happy to see me, which made my cheeks flush with pleasure.

  “Thanks! I’m glad you’re here, too. My previous interactions with the girls at this party haven’t been quite as pleasant.” I laughed self-deprecatingly.

  Ava quickly nodded her head in understanding. “God, some of these girls suck, Hannah. They’re all so territorial.” Ava was validating my experience, and I could have kissed her for it. I felt myself relax against Nikolai while he started a side conversation with Jack.

  Ava once again reached out to touch my arm and said in a slightly lower voice, “Hey, I have to go to the bathroom. I hate to be a cliché, but do you want to come with me? Safety in numbers, right?” I laughed at her reference to the other girls.

  “Sure,” I responded, then turned to Nikolai to tell him where I was going. “We’re going to the bathroom, so we’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

  Nikolai looked down at me with a frown and his arm tightened fractionally. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Referencing the fact that Jeff was now present somewhere in this house. Shit, I forgot about Jeff. Well, fuck him. Nikolai made me feel safer than I’d ever felt in my life.

  “Well, unless I am able to biologically eliminate the need to use the bathroom, I don’t have much choice. I’ll be fine,” I reassured him.

  Nikolai was still frowning, and now so was Ava. She obviously couldn’t figure out why Nikolai would have a problem with me using the bathroom. I’d have to fill her in, so she didn’t think Nikolai was psycho.

  He slowly let me go. “I’m giving you ten minutes, then I’m going to come looking for you. I don’t trust that asshole.” Justifiably so.

  I smiled at his protectiveness. “Okay, that’s fair.” Then we stood there and looked at each other for a second. Should I kiss him goodbye? Was that weird when I was only going to the bathroom? He thankfully took the decision out of my hands by grabbing me by the side of my neck and dropping a kiss on my mouth, lightly slapping my ass as we headed off to the bathroom. I jumped and quickly turned around to say something, but he just smirked and started talking to Jack again.

  Ava waited about ten seconds before she started her interrogation. “Okay, what the hell is going on with you and Nikolai? He’s hot and everything, but that was some serious caveman bullshit he was pulling on you. Who does he think he is, Edward Cullen?” She said only half joking.

  “Your reference from ten years ago is very timely,” I said sarcastically, following her at a slow pace. This place was packed, so walking to the bathroom might take up the whole ten minutes.

  Ava chuckled, and she weaved us through the crowd. “You know what I mean. What is going on with you guys? I’m not the most socially connected person in the world, but I think I would have noticed one of hottest, and scariest, guys in school dating someone I’ve actually had a conversation with. When did you guys start dating?”

  This was the hard part of having friends, I was discovering. Did I tell her about what’s going on with Jeff, and that this thing with me and Nikolai was all an act? Even though it felt like less of an act, on my part at least, every minute. Or did I keep the secret, as we both agreed we would? As I worked through this internal debate, I had come to the unavoidable conclusion that I’m terrible a
t keeping secrets. I wanted to tell Ava, just like I had wanted to tell Katya. I liked her and wanted to have an actual friendship with her. I couldn’t start our friendship lying to her. Having finally decided to tell her the truth, I realized it would have to wait until we got in the bathroom to avoid being overheard. I mean, what would be the point of this whole thing if I blew it one hour in?

  “Okay, Ava, I’ll tell you everything, but we need a little more privacy.”

  With that, Ava sped up to find us a bathroom, but the line was crazy, and I could tell she was dying to hear my story.

  Ava grabbed a kid who was weaving past us by the arm, “Is there another bathroom in this place?”

  The guy looked wasted and the question put a comically thoughtful look on his face. “Oh, yeah, I think there’s one in the basement and one upstairs.”

  Ava turned to me. “Okay, the upstairs one is probably as crowded, but maybe the basement has fewer people?”

  “Let’s go.” I agreed, having no desire to wait in line in a million years, and knowing that Nikolai would assume the worst if I took too long.

  Ava once again grabbed my hand and we headed into the finished basement. Mark’s family must use this as a rec room because it was full of comfortable looking couches, a big screen TV and some type of gaming console. I was surprised no one was down here; it looked a lot more comfortable than being crammed together on the first floor. The lure of the keg is probably what kept everybody upstairs.

  To our mutual relief we saw one person in line ahead of us, I think her name was Sarah. Sarah promised to be quick, as girls always promise each other in the spirit of bathroom line solidarity. Thankfully, she was actually true to her word.

  “Okay, what’s going?” Ava quickly blurted out as I was still locking the door. I laughed at her eagerness, then spilled the whole story about my deal with Nikolai and what it’s been like dealing with Jeff all this time. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t told a soul about this in four years, and now this is the third time I had repeated the story this week. Ava’s face was compassionate and enraged by turns.

  “Holy shit, Hannah. That’s so fucked up. I understand why you felt like you couldn’t do anything about it, but I hate that you had to deal with this alone for so long. That definitely explains Nikolai being so hesitant to let you out of his sight. Jeff sounds fucking crazy.” Ava said this as she unzipped her jeans to use the toilet and I turned to the mirror to see how my makeup was faring.

  “Tell me about it,” I said as I put on more lip balm, my lips still feeling a little swollen from Nikolai’s earlier attentions. I didn’t really have to use the bathroom, so Ava washed her hands and checked herself out in the mirror next.

  Ava was applying coral lipstick that looked amazing with her coloring and made her eyes look brilliant. “You know, Hannah, I know you are saying that this thing with Nikolai is an act, but I have to be honest. He didn’t look like he was acting when he was kissing you.” She paused to give me a pointed look. “And neither did you.”

  My face flushed with embarrassment at being so exposed. Was it obvious to Nikolai? Was I acting like a love-sick nerd?

  My concerns must have telegraphed themselves to Ava. She turned to me and put her hand on my arm in reassurance. “I’m not teasing you, Hannah. Who wouldn’t be into Nikolai Ivanov hanging all over them and kissing them? So, do you like him?” Ava asked this as if she were interested in the answer, but the look on her face indicated she already knew my feelings.

  I sighed, as was my tendency and gave in. “Of course.”

  Ava laughed. “Well, at least you have good taste. He’s sexy.” She said as she winked at me and opened the door.

  We stepped out into the rec room and were drawn up short by a very angry, very hostile Jeff Connors standing in front of us. I had seen him a million times, but I was always jolted whenever he appeared in front of me. If you didn’t know him, I suppose a person would find him conventionally good looking, with short, light brown hair and blue eyes, but I had considered him repulsive for so long now, I practically envisioned devil horns and a forked tongue every time I saw him.

  “What the fuck, Hannah? What the fuck are you doing here? Are you with Ivanov?” Jeff had a frown deeply creasing his forehead, his fists clenched at his sides as if he was resisting the urge to swing at me. I was really regretting my decision to stop Nikolai from kicking his ass.

  Jeff menacingly stepped toward me, and I quickly turned to Ava, her panicked expression no doubt mirroring my own. “Get Nikolai.”

  Chapter 22

  Nikolai

  I stood watching Hannah walk away with Ava, or more specifically watching the ass I had just spanked walk away, feeling small darts of trepidation at her departure. I was not comfortable with her out of my sight and that made me uneasy. It was one thing to play into this bullshit charade to help her out, it was another thing to actually care about her. I didn’t like how powerful my need to protect her was becoming. I mean, was I actually willing to sacrifice graduating high school just beat the shit out of some guy who was harassing her? I was sure acting like I was.

  I looked up to find Jack watching me with a shit-eating smirk on his face. I frowned. “What?”

  Jack let out a snort as he took a big sip of his beer. “You have got to be the best fucking actor I’ve ever seen,” he said sardonically.

  I punched him on the shoulder and looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping on our conversation. “Shut the fuck up. I’m just helping her out.” Even as I said that, I knew I was full of shit, and so did Jack.

  “Oh, well, if that’s how you help her out, would you mind if I “helped her out” after you?” Jack said drolly. “I mean, if you aren’t into her, I’ll be happy to take her off your hands. She’s looks pretty damned good, now. I knew she had a banging body under there. I especially like it when her shirt slides forward, and I can see down the front-”

  I couldn’t help it, my hand shot out and I pushed Jack against the wall. “Keep your fucking eyes off her, Becker.” Jack laughed again, and I knew he had been baiting me, but I couldn’t fucking help myself. The thought of Jack putting his eyes, let alone his hands, on Hannah had me ready to swing on him.

  Jack shook his head as he pushed my hand off his chest and reached over and refilled my beer. “You’re fucked, Nik.”

  I knew he was right but ignored him.

  “So, what’s up with you and that Ava chick?” I asked dryly. I could tell he was interested in her, and I was giving him a little payback for the shit he had given me about Hannah.

  Jack narrowed his eyes at me in a look a lot of other people would have probably found intimidating. “Fuck you, Nik.” A total dismissal, no doubt because he had no idea why he was so interested in Ava. Probably because she was blowing him off. Sometimes guys were simple.

  I took a look at my phone to check the time. Hannah had about 2 more minutes until I went looking for her. Jack noticed what I was doing and laughed again.

  I was about to take a sip of my beer, when Ava came running in the kitchen, barreling past people in her way. Jack stepped forward and started frowning, as if trying to figure out if she were being chased or someone had scared her. I looked behind her, searching for Hannah. A bad feeling permeated my chest. When Ava finally made it over to us, I barked out, “Where is she?”

  “She’s down in the basement. Jeff cornered us down there. He is pissed. He has her trapped and he’s ranting and raving at her.”

  I started moving towards the basement, yelling back to Ava as she and Jack followed. “You left her down there with him?” Anger and worry making my words sound harsh

  “I didn’t want to, but Hannah told me get you.” She shot back, defending herself and revealing how conflicted she’d felt leaving Hannah.

  I couldn’t argue with her reasoning, but I wanted to when I thought of Hannah facing Connors by herself.

  I stormed down the basement stairs, practically throwing bodies out of my way. I flew down
the stairs and turned the corner to find Connors holding Hannah against a wall by her wrists. He was either talking very closely to her face, kissing her, or trying to kiss her. It didn’t matter because I was going to fucking kill him.

  I grabbed Connors roughly by the shoulder, holding on to his shirt as I swung my fist and hit him squarely in the face. His knees folded beneath him, but I wasn’t letting go. I usually never needed much reason to fight but seeing him touching Hannah put me in another dimension of anger and aggressiveness. I felt a red haze drop over my eyes, and the only thing I wanted to see was his blood.

  I held him by the shirt and punched him again, letting him fall this time and then kicking him in the stomach. Connors clutched his stomach and groaned, but I felt no sympathy for him. I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt as he put a futile hand up to try and stop me. I got down in his face and whispered, “You like stalking girls, you asshole?” His eyes widened after hearing my question and darted quickly to where Hannah was frozen against the wall and back to me.

  “That’s the last fucking time you ever look at her, you hear me? If I hear you even so much as whisper her name I am going to fucking annihilate you.” I didn’t wait for him to answer, I simply tightened my fist on the collar of his shirt and punched him over and over until I felt someone finally pulling me off of him.

  When my vision cleared, I realized he was unconscious and covered with blood, not that I gave a fuck. He’s lucky I didn’t kill him. Jack, who had pulled me off him, must have seen the expression on my face because he kept a strong hand on my shoulder in case I went in on Connors again. Coming fully back into a rational mindset, I looked around and realized I was had attracted a crowd.

  I looked down at myself and saw I splatters of Connors’ blood on my t-shirt, but thankfully the shirt was dark, so they were hard to see. I knew it was all his because he hadn’t even managed to land one punch. When I saw him on Hannah, he never stood a chance. My knuckles were bruised and bleeding, but it had been fucking worth it.