Nikolai (Dangerous Love Series Book 1)

by Kristin Alexander

  “So, you were blowing me off?” Hannah tried to say this neutrally, but I could tell it hurt her feelings. Suddenly, the decision not to respond to her felt ridiculous.

  “I’m not trying to make excuses, but, honestly, I’ve never had anything remotely resembling a relationship in my life.” I broke off eye contact briefly as I gathered my thoughts. “It feels…uncomfortable.” I finish, definitely not enjoying the territory I was moving in now. Talking about my feelings.

  Hannah sighed. “You know what, Nikolai? I want to be mad at you, I really do. I was sad and disappointed when you never responded to me.” Her face reflected every bit of that sadness and disappointment. It gave me the powerful urge to touch her, reach out for her hand, or something. “But what you’re saying makes sense. I mean, we are both kind of train wrecks at this. I’ve never had a relationship because of Jeff, and you’ve avoided them like the plague.” No argument there.

  Hannah continued, “So, what do we do?”

  “What do you mean?” I replied, confused.

  “I mean, do we even bother with this? Are you eventually going to pull away and I’m going to be heartbroken?” Hannah said this in a way that indicated she wanted me to argue with her, but maybe she was right.

  “I don’t know,” I replied honestly. Hannah deflated a bit more and moved her eyes down to my chest in contemplation of this stalemate. “But I will tell you this,” I continued, drawing her eyes back to my face. “I don’t think I can let you go right now, so we’re going to have to figure out a way to make this work.”

  Hannah’s eyes opened widely in shock, obviously not expecting me to admit that. To be honest, I hadn’t expected it either. Then she jumped into my arms and hugged me, kissing my neck. My arms curled around her and I pulled her in tight to my chest, feeling a part of me relax at her touch, at the feel of her soft body against mine, and the scent of her shampoo in my nose.

  She pulled back slightly and smiled. “I honestly can’t believe you said that.” If that’s what she thought, then she had completely underestimated her appeal because holding her again brought back all the longing and affection I’d felt on Friday night.

  “Believe it.”

  Chapter 29

  Hannah

  There were several times throughout the day I felt compelled to pinch myself because it felt like I slipped into an alternate dimension. I was sitting in English 4a, taking notes on chapter 7 of The Catcher in the Rye, a novel I could identify with only too well. I had often felt like Holden Caulfield. An outsider, lonely and untrusting. While poor Holden ends up in a mental institution, my life had taken a decidedly more positive turn. It was like someone hit the reset button on my high school existence. In this new iteration, I was sought out, greeted, valued. It gave me a whole new appreciation for Nikolai’s disappearing act over the weekend. If he felt a tenth of the disorientation I felt, I understood his actions completely.

  The bell rang, and I got up and walked to the door, but not without at least three people who I’d never spoken to in my life giving me cheery greetings as I left. I responded politely but rolled my eyes as I walked out the door.

  “What was that look for?” Nikolai asked as he waited outside my class for me. This was another thing. After our talk this morning, Nikolai had asked for --demanded-- my schedule so he could pick me and drop me off at my classes. I told him it was totally unnecessary, but he mumbled something about the assholes in this school and there could be another guy like Jeff. I grinned at his possessiveness, feeling a twinge of delight that he felt so protective of me. However, I needed to check him every once in a while, to make sure he didn’t get out of hand with that stuff.

  Nikolai draped his arm around my shoulders as he guided me to my next class. “I’m being kind of being a jerk, but all these random people, people who I’ve had classes with for the last three years and have never said a word to me, are saying hi to me all the time, asking me how I’m doing, that kind of thing. This is the third class it’s happened in.”

  He smirked. “People are sheep, Hannah. Sometimes they need to be told who to like, what to wear, where to hang out, what music to listen to. You’ve gotten some social validation, so they’re all quick to hop on the train and act like they thought you were cool all along.” He neglected to mention that the social validation was from him. He was the reason all these random people were talking to me.

  We arrived at my class and he leaned me against some nearby lockers. “You might as well enjoy people being nice to you, right?”

  “You’re right. I mean, how shitty is it that I’m complaining about people being too nice?”

  Nikolai laughed and nudged the scarf I was wearing to rub the pad of his thumb lightly against the mark he’d left on my neck. He’d done that once before, and it never failed to send a jolt between my legs. “You’re human and these people ignored you for years, so you’re entitled to have a reaction.”

  Oh, I was having a reaction alright, but it wasn’t to the other students.

  Nikolai stopped grinning, quickly picking up on my shifting thoughts. He leaned in and started kissing me with increasing intensity. My arms slid around his waist to grip the back of his t-shirt. A series of loud whistles had me ripping my mouth way from his as I was pulled back into awareness. Jesus, I was so distracted by his kisses I completely lost track of where we were. My shocked expression must have given away the nature of my thoughts because he chuckled and pulled me into his side as he turned to talk to Jack, who had just walked up.

  “So, Nik, you got something to tell me?” Jack grinned and punched him on the shoulder. “I’ve been hearing some interesting rumors. In fact, they are the most shocking rumors I’ve ever heard about you, and that’s saying something.”

  Nikolai rolled his eyes and laughed lightly. “Everyone in this school needs to get a life.”

  “Well, that’s true, but when Nikolai Ivanov puts a ring on it, everybody is interested.” Jack lifted his ring finger on his left hand and twirled it around.

  “Fuck you, Becker,” Nikolai said without much heat. I shot him a quick glance to see how he was reacting to Jack’s teasing about him being in a relationship. He didn’t seem to be having doubts or look uncomfortable, but who knows with Nikolai. He wasn’t exactly an open book.

  “Jack, I think I heard some rumors about you actually,” I said tapping my finger on my chin as though I was trying to remember. I felt the slightest twinge of guilt for implying that Ava had told me what happened between them, but in all honesty, he probably already figured she’d confided in me.

  Jack’s smile dropped away, and he pinned me with an insistent stare. “What did you hear, Hannah?”

  I gulped, not prepared to give away all of Ava’s confidences. Instead, I just shrugged, smiled, kissed Nikolai on the cheek, and ducked into my next class.

  Chapter 30

  Nikolai

  I walked up to where Hannah’s last class was getting out and pondered the incredibly strange day I’d had. I had a girlfriend. What the fuck? I’d walked in here this morning, determined to regain my old mindset, my pre-Hannah mindset, and it backfired miserably.

  Now that I had completely embraced this relationship thing, it actually wasn’t half bad. Hannah was funny, sweet, smart, cute and sexy as fuck. I liked Hannah. I had a difficult time keeping my hands off of her and not dragging her into a closet somewhere and tearing her clothes off. I also realized how possessive I had become of her, unable to tolerate the idea of one of these assholes at school treating her like shit, or worse, hitting on her. I almost couldn’t believe I had conned myself into thinking I could ignore her.

  Jack came up to me again, looking more serious than he had when I’d been with Hannah earlier.

  “You talked to Hannah about Ava?” he asked crossing his arms as if preparing for some kind of hostile response.

  I frowned. “No, why would Hannah talk to me about Ava?” We were definitely not at the point where Hannah carried on and on about her gir
lfriend’s problems.

  Jack sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I hooked up with Ava on Friday.”

  This was unusual. Jack never talked about his conquests. Not like this. I didn’t think he usually cared enough to even bother talking about them.

  “What, did the condom break? Why are you so fucked up?” I asked, half kidding.

  Jack punched me in the arm with a little more force than usual, frowning ferociously. “Watch it, Ivanov.”

  My eyebrows shot up. Okay, what the fuck as going on? “What the fuck is your problem, Jack? Since when do you care if I talk shit to you about a girl you’ve slept with?”

  Jack looked around the deserted hallway. “I didn’t sleep with her. In fact, I turned her down.”

  “Why?” Jack had seemed very interested in Ava at the party, so this didn’t compute.

  “She…” Once again, he looked around the hallway like a fugitive criminal. “She just got out of relationship. I think she was looking at me as a rebound.”

  My eyebrows rose again. “So? Why does that matter?”

  He blew out a deep breath. “I didn’t like it. And I don’t like that I didn’t like it.”

  I nodded in understanding. I knew all about inconvenient feelings.

  “Shit, you know I’m fucked up, Nik.”

  “I think that quality is the source of our friendship,” I responded jokingly.

  He laughed, but I could tell it was a little forced.

  “I think I’m just going to tell her I don’t want to hang out with her any more. I definitely don’t want a girlfriend, but obviously I can’t treat her like another conquest either,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief at that realization. “This has never happened before.”

  “Yeah, well, join the motherfucking club, asshole.”

  Jack smirked and opened his mouth to respond, but the dismissal bell rang. Soon, the students from Hannah’s class were spilling out, and I quickly understood why Jack was here, as Hannah walked out chatting animatedly with Ava. God, Hannah was so cute. I saw the top edge of the hickey I’d given her peeking above her scarf again and it gave me a jolt to the groin. I didn’t know how I was going to stop myself from marking her again and again when I got her under me next.

  Hannah reached up and gave me quick kiss, but I was distracted, trying to see what was going on with Jack and Ava. Ava stood next to Hannah but refused to make eye contact with Jack. Jack stood there and stared at Ava for a minute, his expression growing more and more irritated.

  “Ava?”

  Ava looked at Jack as if she just noticed he was standing there, and I saw his jaw clench.

  “Yes?” she responded politely.

  Jack rolled his eyes. “Can I talk to you?”

  Ava looked unsettled and nervous. She darted a quick look at Hannah. “Well, um, Hannah and I made plans for after school, so-”

  “Nope. I’m taking Hannah with me,” I jumped in and contradicted. Hannah and I had made plans for today, and I’d be damned if they were going to be disrupted because Ava wanted an excuse to avoid Jack.

  “Okay, Ava, would you prefer I talk to you out here? In the hallway? In front of everyone?” Jack asked, his brow raised as he used his arm to gesture to the hallway full of people.

  Ava jaw dropped in surprise but remained unmoved.

  Jack smiled. “Ava, I’m sorry you think I rejected you for se-”

  Ava’s embarrassed squeak cut off the rest of his words, along with both of the hands she slapped over his mouth. She quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard was he was starting to say. “Jesus, Jack, are you crazy?” she whispered.

  Jack raised his eyebrows as if to say, Of course I’m crazy.

  Ava rolled her eyes, and while still keeping her hands firmly over Jack’s mouth, turned to Hannah. “I’ll call you later. I’m sure I’ll have plenty to talk about.” Ava dropped her hands from Jack’s face, grabbed his arm and dragged him off to talk more privately.

  Hannah laughed. “I’d like to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.”

  As I slung my arm around Hannah’s shoulders, I had a feeling I knew exactly how their conversation would turn out.

  Chapter 31

  Hannah

  Nikolai wanted to go to his house, so now I was wringing my hands together thinking about what was going to happen between us once we got there. It was strange to think of sex as an actual part of my reality, rather than a far-off possibility or something I read about in books. Nikolai reached over and squeezed my thigh, his hand feeling like a hot brand burning through the thin layer of cotton covering my leg. My eyes followed his strong forearm, up to the tight muscles of his bicep, then down his chest to his ridged stomach. I felt a flash of desire as I admired his body.

  Nikolai started to slowly rub the inner part of my thigh just above my knee, and the anxiety I’d felt when we first got into the car was slowly transforming into frustration. I rubbed my thighs together to stop the sudden throbbing. Nikolai flashed me a smug, knowing look, moving his hand slightly higher on my thigh.

  I cleared my throat. “I’m excited to see your house.”

  Nikolai laughed and tightened his hand briefly on my thigh before continuing his light stroking. “I bet you are,” he said with a look of exaggerated lechery on his face.

  I laughed. “Shut up, you know what I mean.”

  He sighed and looked a little serious. “It’s just a house, Hannah. Even though it looks big and fancy, it mostly just feels empty.”

  On that depressing note, we pulled into his circular driveway. He was right, it did look big and fancy. It was a large, white colonial, which was unusual in the Midwest. There were two giant columns on either side of the door giving it a sort of plantation look. We walked into a large, white foyer with a set of stairs set slightly to the right. Nikolai looked around and apparently didn’t see or hear anything, so he grabbed my hand and quickly pulled me upstairs. There were a number of doors off the second-floor landing, but I didn’t get much of a chance to investigate, as Nikolai was pulling me into his room and quickly shutting the door.

  “Um, were we being chased?” I asked comically, but I was curious why we dashed up here.

  Nikolai smirked at me and pulled me into him. “No, but I didn’t want to take the chance of running into my father.”

  I took a minute to take in Nikolai’s room, which was easily 4 times the size of my own. I noted the private bathroom. “Your own bathroom? What I’d give for that!”

  “Well, you’d have to live with my dad, so you’d probably end up rethinking that decision.”

  This was the second time in five minutes he’d made a negative comment about his father. I was going to push him on it, but then he distracted me.

  “Okay, I’ll give you the tour of my room, Hannah. Here is my sitting area,” he gestured to the right side of the room where a couch, chairs and television had been set up. It looked like there was some video game equipment too. There was even a mini-fridge. It was strange trying to imagine Nikolai playing a video game. He seemed too serious for that, too intense.

  “Through there is my bathroom,” he said gesturing to the room I had previously noticed. I glanced inside the door and was impressed by how nice it looked. It was white with forest green accents. He had a double sink, a Jacuzzi tub with a separate shower stall.

  “The last stop on our tour is the place I have been most eager to show you. My bed.” I laughed as Nikolai grabbed me and playfully tossed me on the bed. He quickly followed me down and planted a long kiss on my mouth. “How did you like the tour?” He asked with fake sincerity, propped up on his elbow, his hand cradling my jaw.

  I laughed. “It was really great, but I have feeling we’re going to be spending more time at this stop than the others.”

  He laughed. “You figured right.”

  Chapter 32

  Nikolai

  Looking down at Hannah’s smiling face, I registered how happy I was being with her. I knew I had only
made the decision to date her that morning, and only when faced with the reality of her dating other guys, but I was hard pressed to regret it. Only when confronted with this house, and surrounded by the reminders of my father’s life, did my doubts creep in.

  I leaned down and kissed Hannah softly, my hands threading through her thick, dark hair. Heat flared in me instantly, one hand knotting in her hair while the other moved down the side of her breast to her rib cage. I could feel her hands slide under my t-shirt and grip my back, her nails lightly digging into my skin, driving me crazy.

  I leaned up and pulled my shirt over my head and resumed kissing her, moving my mouth down to her neck, unable to resist leaving more marks on her skin, this time under the neckline of her shirt below her collar bones. As I sucked and bit her skin, I felt her hips slam up against mine and I grinned against the marks I’d made. Feeling her response to my biting kisses made my dick feel like a piece of concrete in my pants. I slid one hand under her ass and pulled her tighter against my hardened cock, giving us some relief from pounding need we both felt.

  I pulled away to remove her shirt and by the time it was over her head, she was already removing her bra. I quickly sucked the hardened pink tip of her nipple into my mouth, pulling on it with aggressive tugs that had Hannah moaning mindlessly, begging me for more. I moved to the other nipple, but pinched the wet tip left behind by mouth. By the way she responded, I again wondered if I could get her off from just this. Unfortunately, that would have to be an experiment for another time because I was way too impatient to attempt it today.

  I unzipped her pants, sliding my hand inside her panties, feeling how hot and wet she was. I pulled my hand out and gripped the waist of her pants, giving a strong tug that pulled both her pants and panties off in one quick movement. I couldn’t help but stare at her naked body with a mixture of lust, admiration, and gratitude. Hannah was fucking gorgeous; all pale, smooth skin and hot, sexy curves.