Lewis & Ondarko - Best Friends 03 - Now and Zen

by Deb Lewis

  “Just remind me never to tell secrets when you are in the next room,” she teased.

  “LeSeur here.”

  She took a deep breath and started to explain quickly before he could hang up.

  Chapter Eighteen

  June 22

  “Ladies! I hope you’ve been having a great morning. Listen up! I have a surprise for you!” Deb hollered into the megaphone at the crowded street. Some of the women paused from their gabbing and turned to look at Deb. “We will gather at the beach across from the church at twelve thirty for a group photo. Everyone should come.” A few women clapped.

  “This is an historic event, and you don’t want to be left out.” Deb noticed some women shrugging and turning away. She felt that she had to give one more plea. “You know, my friends and I always took photos of ourselves on retreats, and those photos are some of my favorite photos in my album. What I regret is the people who chose not to be in the pictures. Remember, this is your retreat. Tell all your friends!” Her challenge seemed to rally the women as word was quickly passed further and further through the town. Soon, groups were hastening toward the beautiful little beach, dragging all the materials from workshops with them.

  “Pictures?” Pat overheard as she arrived on the scene. “Look at my hair! Does anyone have a brush?”

  With all the watercolor paint on her blouse and no makeup at all, the woman looked more like a troll than a matriarch.

  “Anyone have any wipes?” a voice asked.

  “I have to go change. Wait for me!” another called.

  Deb felt amused as she looked around at the happy crowd of disheveled women.

  What am I thinking? she thought, as she looked down at her shirt in dismay. I can’t be in a picture with a coffee stain down my front.

  Earlier in the day, Deb had been convinced by Linda that the gathering was an event worth photographing. It was something Deb had not planned for, but Linda had volunteered to take the pictures.

  “A simple thing,” Linda had said. “A row of women seated, a row behind on their knees, a row seated in chairs, and a row standing in the back. And if any women are left over we can have them lying on beach towels in the front.”

  So like Linda to be organized, Deb thought, grateful for the well-thought-out plan. I wouldn’t mind having a photo of this gathering, if I can get Gracie to stand still long enough.

  She spotted her daughter and granddaughter in the crowd.

  Jeeze, where’s my mother?

  As the women gathered on the beachfront, Deb stared at the crowd. It dawned on her that things weren’t going the way Linda planned.

  For one thing, there are so many women and children. How will we ever get everyone to stand still?

  Linda had managed to escape the whole beach scene by convincing Detective LeSeur to take her out into the lake in his fishing boat in order to get the best possible photo.

  Leave it to cute Linda to still be able to wrap men around her finger, Deb thought enviously. Linda stood without a life vest, precariously balancing between two seats in the boat as the waves gently rocked her back and forth.

  Now there’s a picture I wish I had, Deb thought.

  “Careful there, Missy,” Gary said.

  Deb stood on the beach with her megaphone, trying to navigate through the crowds and separate the women into lines.

  This is like herding cats, she thought. The crowd was happy and excited but more interested in gossiping than in organizing into rows that would take them even temporarily away from newfound friends. Some of the women climbed atop the wooden lifeguard stand, posing off the sides as though they were firefighters on a truck.

  No one seemed to be listening or paying the least bit of attention to Deb’s entreaties.

  Take a deep breath, Deb thought as she glanced around the crowd, looking for help.

  She noticed Bev navigating her electric cart expertly over the rocks and onto the beach, determined to enter into the fray. Noreen and Julie sat together on the park bench, Noreen with paint on her cheek and Julie twirling a croquet mallet.

  At least Carolyn is helping. Where is Pat, anyway? Deb thought.

  Carolyn was doing her best to help recruit volunteers to get chairs from the church across the street.

  “Follow me, ladies. We need chairs for this photo to work.

  “What? We’re on a retreat!” a middle-aged brunette called out from the crowd. “You can’t really expect us to carry chairs out here! You’ve got to be kidding!”

  Carolyn glanced at Deb and threw her arms in the air in a determined pose.

  “Yes, everyone has to help,” she called out in her teacher voice.

  Looking sheepish, the women followed her into the church.

  I sure am glad I have friends, Deb thought. The thought was soothing to her.

  “Hurry up! It’s rough out here in this boat!” Linda called faintly from her perch in the waves offshore.

  “Line ‘em up! I’ve got to get fishing!” LeSeur’s voice boomed out authoritatively. “Careful, there,” he said to Linda. “I don’t want to fish you out of the drink.”

  Time to be bold, Deb thought.

  She elbowed her way through the crowd and climbed up on the lifeguard stand.

  “Please move away from the stand! We’ve got a picture to take!” she said to the women hanging off the sides.

  “Here, Deb!” Millie called. “We want you to stand by us!”

  “Do you have a wide angle lens?” Carolyn called out to Linda. “We always use a wide angle lens when we’re in Maui!”

  “I can’t hear what she’s yelling!” Linda called back from the boat.

  “Okay, ladies! Here’s the deal,” Deb bellowed into the megaphone. “We’re going to get a picture. And we don’t want one of your back ends! So face the lake and that lady with the camera out there in the boat. On the count of three, I’ll say cheese and you all smile! Ready. One, two, three. Pizza! She held her fingers high in the air as she counted. Despite her best efforts, the picture still had backsides in it.

  At the moment Deb said pizza, a large black crow flew right into the frame of the picture.

  “We have to do another one!” Linda yelled, her legs wobbling on the seats. “This time without the crow!”

  Six takes later, Linda was still not satisfied, but Deb had a mutiny on her hands and Gary was threatening to start the motor.

  “That’s it! We’re done!” Deb bellowed out to the boat. “Cut! Done! Finito. No more!”

  “Be free, ladies! You are released from captivity,” she yelled to the crowd. A cheer arose from the gathering.

  “Oh, good,” a voice called. “I wanted to be sure I got to the next class on time. Anybody know where I can get some of those fish livers?”

  Deb climbed down from the lifeguard chair just in time to meet Linda at the shoreline being gingerly helped from the boat by a very impatient appearing Detective LeSeur. Looking at his watch, he turned toward Deb.

  “You owe me… get me a list by tonight.” Pulling at his motor cord, he expertly maneuvered his boat into the waves and sped out into the vast lake. He didn’t even wave back at Deb’s goodbye.

  I’m glad my husband doesn’t act like that, Linda thought, with a self-satisfied look.

  “Did you get a good one?” Deb asked eagerly as the crowd of women began to scatter in several directions.

  “I’m sure I did, but I nearly went into the drink trying. And that’s not the least of it. When I went down to the beach to find a boat, that cute police officer with Gary tried to invite me to spend the day on the lake with him. But I wasn’t interested in fishing!”

  “Neither was he,” Deb replied. “Let’s see the photos!” She tried not to laugh when she realized that in all the pictures, the women looked like pinheads, not recognizable to anyone else but themselves. As she rescanned through the digital images, Deb stopped at the last one.

  “This is probably the best one of all of them,” she said, looking closer. “Look
at this, will you?” She pointed to the blurry image of a woman who, unlike all the others, appeared to have light reflecting on her face. The woman was resting a hand on a dog’s head. Her hand also reflected light.

  “Do we know this woman?” Deb asked, recognizing the dog. “Maybe the dog belongs to her.”

  “I haven’t seen her before,” Linda replied. “But then again, with all these people here, I couldn’t begin to tell you who I’ve seen and who I haven’t!”

  “Maybe the historical society would like one of these pictures,” Carolyn suggested.

  Ignoring Carolyn, Linda grabbed the megaphone from Deb’s hand.

  “Ladies! Ladies! I just want everyone to know that I will make a complimentary photo for each of you! All you have to do is get me your name and address on a piece of paper, and I’ll take care of getting it to you.”

  A murmur arose from the dispersing crowd.

  “Really? That’s really nice.”

  “Just bring your names to me at the… “

  She paused.

  “Wait a minute! What am I doing?” Linda muttered under her breath. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

  Putting the megaphone back to her mouth, she yelled, “Sorry about this, ladies, but disregard what I just said… I will put a post on Lotta’s bulletin board of an on-line cite where you can order a photo if you choose.”

  “Whew!” Pat said. “That was a close call.”

  “I’m learning,” Linda replied.

  “Good for you,” Pat said.

  “Well, I’m off to put photos online. What are you going to do now?”

  “Hey, Pat, let’s go for a ride out in the woods. I need a chance to clear my head,” Deb called out just then as Pat helped the others stack chairs to return to the church.

  “Sounds good,” Pat replied. “Let’s finish here, first, and then let’s stop by Tommy’s and grab something. I haven’t had lunch yet.”

  Eager for some lunch, Pat didn’t notice the skinny guy until he was almost upon her. Standing toe to toe with her, whiskey on his breath, he raised his fist, and Pat drew back in alarm.

  “Are you the ones?” You’re the ones, aren’t you?” he taunted. “The ones who have been gossiping about me.”

  “What?” Pat asked. Then she got mad. “Who the hell are you, and what are you talking about?” She took a step forward.

  “I heard you were spreading rumors about me and my girlfriend. Do you make it a practice to listen to guys in men’s toilets?”

  This is the weasel Carolyn heard, Deb thought, stepping between Pat and the man.

  “Why would you care anyway, unless she’s really disappeared?” Deb asked. “Answer this: Where is she?”

  He backed up, confused.

  “It’s just that we had a fight, and she left.” He started to turn to leave. “Stay out of my business,” he said, turning his head towards her. And he left.

  “So that’s the guy,” Deb said. “We’ll add him to our list of suspects.”

  “Come on, buddy, let’s go get lunch,” Pat said.

  Chapter Nineteen

  June 22

  Not all the retreaters felt the need to go to workshops. Some thought it was a higher calling to go to the beach. Greasy with suntan oil and fortified with ice tea, beach blankets, and books, they allowed the lake to draw them. Some of these women were even members of Pat’s own family. Go figure.

  “Wake up, grandma, wake up.” Jessie was suddenly startled from her afternoon nap in the sun by a small stick poking her in the side.

  “Huh? Oh, yes, Willow dear. I’m awake. See, my eyes are open.”

  “No, you’re not.” Willow looked closely, stomping her little foot in the sand. “No, you’re not! You haven’t seen the world I’ve been making.” She pointed with her stick to the mounds of sand where she had been digging.

  “How lovely dear. What is it?”

  “If you were really awake you, would know.” Relenting, Willow continued. “Its okay, Grandma. I’ll show you. This is my house,” she said in her sing song voice as she pointed. “This is Skylar’s house, and this one way over here is Grandma Pat’s. You can stay with her,” she explained.

  “Where is your little brother’s house?” Jessie asked gently, knowing that the new interloper was a sore point for Willow.

  “Oh, he just comes to visit. This is girl town. If you want to come, you have to STAY AWAKE!” she said, noticing her great-grandmother’s drooping eyelids.

  Staying awake, Jessie thought, how much of my life have I chosen to sleep away? But no more, she thought resolutely. What time I have left I’m going to spend awake.

  She settled back in the comfortable Adirondack chair.

  “A lot can happen when you let yourself go to sleep,” Willow said sternly, looking up from her digging.

  Out of the mouths of babes, Jessie thought. But you, my little darling, I’m betting that you will stay awake through it all. She sent the thought up to whatever beneficent spirit was watching.

  All around the white-haired matriarch and the blonde little girl, women were laughing and splashing in the lake.

  * * *

  “This was a great idea,” Deb said, as she looked around. “Would you look at these signs? Let’s Make Getting into Trouble Fun Again,” she read aloud. “If you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, baffle ‘em with bullshit. I’ve forgotten what a riot this place is.”

  “Yup, the Burned Down Cafe is one of a kind, alright,” Pat answered. “No, thanks, one’s enough for me,” she said, putting up the front of her hand toward the bartender. “How’s the bar business been with all us women here?”

  “It’s great being crazy busy, but it must be the full moon,” he said wiping up the bar next to them.

  “What’s been happening?” Deb asked.

  “Oh, you know… crazy stuff. Right before you came in there were some mainlanders in having drinks. One guy asked for a martini right here, can you imagine? So I made him one, and then he complains. ‘Is this Stoli’s gin in this martini? I only drink Stoli’s.. ‘ Where does he think he is, anyway? Look around you. This is a tent, for goodness sake! Our drink of choice is Heinies. Typical non-islanders.”

  He leaned forward on the bar.

  “The guy came in here with big dreams. He was trying to impress the woman he was with. First thing he does is light a cigarette. I told him he couldn’t smoke in here. He told me how he had investors just waiting to build some kind of huge fun land resort like the Wisconsin Dells, right here. When the woman was skeptical about where he would get enough land, he said he had a plan to get it from the east side.”

  “The east side!” Now Deb wasn’t just pretending to be interested in what he had to say. “Isn’t that the Native land?”

  “Yup, can you believe it? Evidently, he picked the wrong woman to impress. When she got mad and said she wouldn’t let it happen, she would make sure of it, he got real quiet-like, and said something like, ‘nobody gets in my way.’ Then he stood up and raised his fist menacingly at the woman. Just like that. Tell you what, that guy gave me the creeps. I was just about to reach under the bar for my handy deterrent.”

  He lifted up a baseball bat for them to see.

  “I think the woman took him seriously. She stood up and said, ‘I won’t tell, really,’ and then she left in a hurry. And the guy? He followed her out.” Shaking his head, he turned to get a beer for another customer. “And he didn’t even leave a tip. That was a frickin’ mistake. See if he ever gets a martini here again. Like I said, it must be the full moon.”

  Deb nodded her head in agreement, and then turned to Pat.

  “Do you think this one could be the missing woman?”

  “Don’t know. Let’s just take a little drive up the road and see how we feel about it after a walk in the woods. If we decide it’s important, we’ll call Gary. Remember, we have to be back for the writing workshop before three.”

  Chapter Twenty

  June 22


  There is something about encountering evil, no matter the form, that makes one want to forget. Afterwards, Deb didn’t want to remember this walk in the woods with Pat. Her reticence remained, despite her knowledge that it is better not to forget such encounters, in order to be better prepared to fight.

  It all started out ordinarily enough, as do most such encounters. Before getting out of the car, Deb glanced at the clock. It was one-thirty.

  Plenty of time, she thought. Looking around to try to get her bearings, she took in the intrinsic beauty of the wild island. The sun was shining almost straight down, lighting the leaves and branches on its way to warm the earth.

  Great time for a walk, she thought.

  What was that? She paused and sniffed. Something was in the air. A smell. Not a smoke smell… no, not exactly a scent, but something more. Usually I can walk all of Madeline without a fear, but now, it’s as though the sun isn’t reaching me. She shivered, noticing the shadows on the ground, at the same time the sun shone above.

  Closing the car door, she turned to her friend.

  “Where are we? How could we possibly get lost on Madeline Island?” Deb shook her head. “We’ve been coming here for years. And the truth is, I don’t remember this road at all.” She glanced around, trying once again to get her bearings, and hoping to find a sign displaying the words, “Go This Way, Sillies.” It didn’t happen.

  “Like we have to try to get lost.” It was a standing joke that traveling together anywhere might lead them to end up in Canada. Deb locked the door and stretched.

  “Let’s walk back to the last road sign. I’m tired of being in the darn car.”

  “Road sign? Isn’t that why your hubby bought you that shiny new box?” Marc had tired of the women complaining about being lost, and had bought her a G.P.S. for Christmas.

  “Fat lot of good that thing is doing. It’s as if we’re in the Bermuda triangle.” She got serious for a moment. “Do you feel it?”

  “You mean that cold?” Pat responded, walking beside Deb. “I thought it was just my imagination. I wish we were back in town. What’s with this place?”