Heart of Ice

by P. Jameson

  Felix shrugged. “You want a scourge? The man put his body on 5000 volts to save your female. Guess the Firecat does have its weakness.”

  Ratchet growled low.

  Felix looked around, clearly calculating his next words. “Look, I’d love to give it the go-ahead. Truly. But… you bowed to him, Skittles. Remember that? Because I fucking do.” He narrowed his wicked gaze at the clan’s second. “I guess it’s up to Ratchet to accept your scourge.”

  “This is a waste of time,” Ratchet argued. “You want to fight me? You want to take this out on me? Fine. But do it after we figure out how to get her free. Because you’re acting like you haven’t changed at all. Like she hasn’t made any fucking difference in you. You’ll never break the curse like that.”

  “You think I give a fuck about the goddamn curse? He’s going to kill her. Shit. He’ll kill her.” He raked his hand through his short hair, eyes wide and desperate. “He’ll kill her just to make a fucking point.”

  Monster shook his head. “No. We’ll get her ba—”

  “The bastard will kill her, and if she dies…” Skittles went still, staring fire at him, jaw tensing. “I die too. There’s nothing for me without her. You know it’s true.”

  The room went still. Nothing but labored breaths and disbelief.

  Monster knew what they all thought. That Skittles couldn’t be that far bonded to a female he’d never even met. And it was true. He wasn’t bonded, not permanently.

  But hadn’t Monster had the same feelings the day Bastian showed him the basement. The day he first spotted his girl under the bed. Hadn’t he realized in that moment, that he was nothing without her. Just a damaged shell of a man who was dead inside.

  And hadn’t it been the same for Ratchet when he found Marlee hiding in the storage shed?

  And couldn’t it be the same for any of them when they found theirs. Their her. The one that touched a hidden part in them created by those Ouachita witches long ago on a battle field.

  “He won’t.” A small voice broke the silence. Vegas stood in the corner and Monster could only see the top of her head, but he’d know his girl’s voice anywhere.

  “He won’t kill Seven.” Her words shook as she stepped away from Marlee just enough for Skittles to see her.

  “How do you know?”

  “I… I’m number One. The first one. I’ve been his the longest.”

  Shit. Not his anymore. Never again.

  Monster’s heart crashed against his ribs. She was the first one.

  “I know him better than anyone here. She’s the only Doll left. He needs her. She’s… she’s a commodity, remember?”

  Skittles’s jaw ticked and his chest rumbled with a new snarl.

  Monster backed away, putting himself closer to Vegas just in case Skittles lost the rest of his damn mind and tried to touch her.

  “He’s down four Dolls,” she continued quietly. “He needs to hold on to the last one. He will be angry. He will be cruel. But he won’t kill her.”

  “You.” Skittles shoved through the crowd until he was standing face to face with her. She swayed on her feet. Just like in Bastian’s office. “You know things. You will help me get her back.”

  But Monster was already wedging his big body between his brother and Vegas.

  “Not right now. She’s weak.” Never admit a weakness. Never. But his childhood training went right out the window, didn’t it. “She needs to eat. And rest. She needs time.”

  “She can do that later, when mine is free.”

  “No.” Monster met Skittles’s harsh gaze with one of his own. “I won’t let her be weak. I can’t. You understand?”

  Skittles narrowed his eyes, pursed his lips, and spit out a curse like none other.

  “You better fucking pray my girl lives. Because if she doesn’t…”

  His threatening gaze honed in on Vegas and Monster snarled, “Don’t even finish that thought.”

  Skittles’s face went suddenly blank. Like he’d been possessed and the demon was now gone. He wasn’t himself, Monster knew. They all knew. But he wouldn’t be making any threats to his girl.

  Not today.

  Not any day.

  “I want her free too,” Vegas whispered. “More than anything. I would take her place if I could.”

  Skittles’s gaze focused on her. “You would?” These words were quieter.

  Vegas nodded. “She’s my friend. Just like Marlee. Just like the others. The only friends I ever had.”

  Monster crowded in closer. She was never going back there. Not for Nyla, not for anyone.

  “I’ve never had a friend. Only brothers. Only a clan.” Skittles’s voice was hard, like he was trying to get control. Like two pieces of him were battling it out inside. The murderous vengeful part and the new part that was learning how to give a shit. How to care.

  “I… I will be your friend. If you want.”

  Monster frowned down at her.

  “And we will find a way to get Nyla free. The way you got us free.”

  Skittles looked away, to the floor.

  “You don’t understand. I need her,” he whispered so low most of the clan probably missed it.

  Monster didn’t.

  “You’re right,” she said bluntly. “I don’t understand. But I will try to. I will do my best to understand everything that has happened since Marlee left. Because…”

  Monster swallowed hard as she looked up at him with her big gray eyes, so wary yet raw.

  “You fought for me. For us.” She looked at Skye and Janet and then to Ratchet. “And for Nyla. And nobody has ever done that. Nobody ever tried to save me. Only hurt me.” Her voice faded on the last syllable.

  And then for the second time in twenty-four hours, Monster caught her before she hit the ground.

  Chapter Ten

  It was easier this time, for Vegas to pull herself out of the blackness. She was damn tired. Hungry. So cold. And the bed she was in was too comfortable. Too soft. Too different. This wasn’t the bed in the basement.

  Memories of her escape came crashing back in messy broken pieces.

  Monster not an enemy.

  Ratchet who knew Marlee.

  Escaping through the window. Running through the lawn. Going over the fence.

  Nyla. God, leaving Seven behind hurt so bad she groaned at the pain around her heart.

  Vegas heard a movement somewhere in the room but she wasn’t ready to open her eyes yet.

  Not yet.

  Arriving at the warehouse, the first face she’d seen was Marlee’s. Vegas hardly recognized her. Her hair was shiny and healthy. And cut in a shoulder length bob, not the jagged mess they’d made when it had to be cut with a plastic knife. She was clean and rounder and best of all… she was smiling. Smiling so huge, for a moment Vegas wondered if she was mind swiped.

  Hypnotism, brainwashing, something.

  But no. Marlee smiled because she was happy. It was some unconceivable miracle. And so hard to understand.

  Just like what had happened afterward.

  The flood of men piling into the room. The confusion and hysterics.

  The fight.

  Vegas still couldn’t make sense of it.

  Ratchet and the one called Skittles had fought over leaving Nyla. The way the man was ready to hurt his own over not freeing her… it made Vegas think maybe he knew her. From before she became Bastian’s. Maybe he was a key piece of Nyla’s past.

  She wished there was someone who cared about her like that, just waiting for her to be freed so they could say all the things she needed to hear.

  I need her, Skittles had said.

  But there was no one like that for Vegas.

  She was raised by Bastian. Her mother was dead. Her father unknown. Being free didn’t change that.

  But it did mean she didn’t have to do awful things to survive anymore.

  Or… at least she hoped that’s what it meant.

  The Alley Cats were terrifying. Even if they did
help her and the Dolls get free.

  She needed to talk to Marlee. Alone. She needed to know what was going on here. And if they were truly safe. She couldn’t rest until she knew for sure.

  Carefully, she opened her eyes, not sure where she was or what to expect.

  The bed she was in had black sheets and a thick gray blanket spread over the top with more blankets piled at the foot. It was all tucked around her like a little nest, and she wondered how she could be cold with all the heavy covers.

  She turned her head to learn Monster was the only other person in the room. He sat in a chair next to the bed. Something with a puffy back and arms. Like a recliner she’d seen on a television ad once.

  It looked so normal. So common. She wasn’t used to seeing him anywhere but a dark underground hallway.

  Here, wherever they were, he looked less like a monster and more like… a person.

  He stared at her silently, mouth parted, like he wasn’t sure what to say now.

  “Where is Marlee?” she croaked.

  He passed her a bottle of water. “It’s sealed,” he explained. “Ratchet said that’s important. So you know there ain’t no drugs in it.”

  Vegas frowned. That was… thoughtful.

  Bastian didn’t dose her as much as the others though. He’d raised her to understand she had no choice but to do what he said. Until Marlee showed her different.

  Carefully, she cracked open the water and drew up on her elbow to take a sip.

  “Go slow,” Monster warned. His voice was uncharacteristically soft. Not the voice he’d ever used with her before.

  “There is food coming. Lots of it. As much as you want. And I turned the heat up to high so you won’t be cold anymore. I have clothes for you. You can shower if you want, whenever you want—”

  “Whoa, wait.” The words were coming at her so fast she couldn’t process them. “Where is Marlee?”

  “She’s with the other dolls. Getting them settled into a room.”

  “We each get a room?”

  Monster shifted forward in the chair. “No. We are working to free up space, but for now, Janet and Skye will share a room.”

  “And I get my own?”

  He shook his head, pressed his twisted lips together. “Not exactly. This is my room.”

  Vegas gave him a long blink, not understanding.

  “Why am I in your room?”

  Monster stood abruptly, and she flinched. Her reaction didn’t go unnoticed. Monster’s face went sad, his eyes skirting away quickly as he paced the small area by the bed.

  “I want you to have everything you need. And I want to watch over you so I know you’re safe from my brothers. And my room seemed like the right place to… to make all that happen.”

  He stopped pacing and looked at her. Pushed his shoulders back in a way that made him look proud.

  “The bed is warm and soft. And no one will ever hurt you in here. So you don’t have to hide underneath again. There’s a TV and a computer if you want it. And I can have Mama Kitty go buy you all the girly stuff you need. I might need you to make a list though. Because I’m not sure what to have her buy—”

  “Stop!” This was too much. This was too different. Too hard to believe.

  Everything he was saying felt surreal. Like a dream. Like if she blinked too hard, she’d find herself waking up to the nightmare she’d been living before.

  This, being here, it felt different than it had in the woods when they were escaping. She’d trusted the Alley Cats then. They felt okay then. Safe even.

  But now? With everything so blunt and in her face, with freedom right there for her to reach out and take… everything felt scary.

  Why? Because what if she couldn’t trust it. What if it was temporary.

  What if being free was worse than being captive?

  She needed proof that her and the others were okay. Hard proof.

  “I… I need to talk to Marlee,” she said, voice trembling. “P-Please.”

  Monster stared at her, and she couldn’t read his expression but he seemed anxious. Nervous. Something.

  He nodded hard, once, and left the room.

  Left her alone.

  It should have stemmed her panic. But all it did was make things worse. And the tears came like a flood with the slam of the door.

  ***

  Monster paced the landing outside his room, waiting as patiently as he could, while Marlee talked to Vegas. The food was ready, and it was taking all his strength to keep from barging in and interrupting them so he could force-feed his girl. But the way she’d flinched from him earlier… he had to be careful.

  “She’ll be fine,” Ratchet murmured. He leaned against the stair rail, giving Monster a wide berth, but keeping close enough to his mate inside the room.

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I know you want this. Bad. But you have to do things right, Monster, or she will never learn to trust you. It will take time.”

  “I can go slow. I can be careful.” But could he be careful enough?

  Ratchet gave him a dark look. “I’ve seen your idea of careful. Plenty of times. You’ll have to do better.”

  Monster felt his face heat. Ratchet’s implication brought him shame. Never before had he cared about his sexual past. But now…

  “I… I didn’t mean… she won’t… I’m not going to…”

  Shit.

  Ratchet pushed off from the rail and stepped in Monster’s path. “You say that now. But wait until your bond demands it. Wait until your new animal is roaring for it. What will you do then?”

  Monster swallowed hard. Would it get that bad? Instinct was a real and powerful thing. He’d been years without an animal, but he could still remember the power of it. The way it drove him to do things he didn’t want to. To fight when he didn’t want to. To bleed and make others bleed.

  Would his new beast make him hurt his girl?

  Never, it hissed inside. Never hurt mate.

  Monster set his jaw.

  “If she says no, if she doesn’t want you…”

  The words whipped at him, a possibility he’d been shoving to the back of his mind for weeks now.

  “What will you do then?” Ratchet demanded.

  “Nothing,” Monster growled. His breath was coming fast now. Like it did when he was young and being beaten. Panic. Fear. Raw and real and hot. But the truth came out of his mouth anyway. “Nothing. I will do nothing. Because she owns me now. That little… fragile… scared thing owns me. And I won’t hurt her. Not ever.”

  Ratchet nodded slowly and backed out of Monster’s path. “Good. Good, cat.”

  After another anxious trip across the length of the landing, the door creaked open and Marlee stepped out, closing it behind her.

  “How is she?” Monster rushed her, but Ratchet was already there, like he’d expected it.

  “She’s… okay,” Marlee said. “Scared. Worried for Nyla. I told her everything. How I came to be here. What you guys are. That we came up with a plan to save them from Bastian.” She glanced at Ratchet. “That we mated.” And one hand came up to cover her belly. “About the baby. She knows it all. I told her the same thing I told the others, that they’re free, but none of them can leave the warehouse right now. Not until… well…” She looked at Monster. “I didn’t know what to tell her about leaving.”

  “Does she want to leave?” His heart crashed obnoxiously against his ribs.

  “I don’t think so. She’s tired. And hurt. And you’ve been her worst nightmare for a while now. It will take some time for her to see you differently.”

  Monster’s hope took a dive for the floor. Her worst nightmare.

  Yeah, that sounded about right.

  But he was going to show her that wasn’t true. Wasn’t he?

  Didn’t have a fucking clue how. But yeah, he was going to.

  Because he had to win her. The alternative was no good. It was crippling. He’d be more lost than ever without her. He knew it dee
p down.

  He looked away.

  “I’m going to feed my female now.”

  He collected the containers and trays full of food he’d gathered for Vegas and pushed past Marlee into the room.

  Chapter Eleven

  Vegas looked around Monster’s small bathroom. It was steamy from the shower Marlee helped her take. It was a simple space with just a shower, toilet, sink, and cabinet. But it was still luxury compared to the basement bathroom.

  Towels hung on a hook on the wall. They were plain white and thick. A mason jar with a toothbrush sat near the sink. Beside it was a comb and a shaver. And some bottles of product.

  She picked one up and sniffed. It was spicy. Like cinnamon and whiskey and leather. She recognized the smell. Monster had smelled like this when he crowded her in the hallway. When he told her he’d keep her safe.

  She didn’t hate the scent. Not at all.

  Setting the bottle back, she stared into the fogged-up mirror. She was a blur, but she didn’t want to wipe the fog away to see the real her. She’d rather not know how ragged she looked.

  Reaching forward, she swiped her finger over the glass. Just enough that she could see her eyes. They were dull and tired. But if she looked hard enough, she could see it. The tiniest spark of hope.

  The things Marlee told her were crazy. Maybe she wouldn’t have believed if she hadn’t seen the Firecat for herself. But even more disturbing was the fact that she didn’t find it all that odd. A man turning into a burning beast. The paranormal. It made sense to her on some level.

  Maybe because she knew monsters existed in the world. Real monsters. She’d been one.

  But she was changing.

  She’d done it, hadn’t she? Stood her ground with Bastian and gained her freedom. That had to mean something.

  It had to mean a lot.

  She toweled off and carefully put on the clothes Marlee had left her. They were warm, but it didn’t seem to matter. She was so cold inside.

  She thought leaving the basement would make her warmer. But the hard chill she always felt in her bones had only gotten worse.

  Shivering, she padded to the door and pushed it open, gasping in surprise as she almost walked right into Monster. She froze. Too close. Much too close.