Wisteria Wrinkle

by Angela Pepper

  Zinnia refused to take the items back. “We must be brave,” she said. “We must do what ought to be done.”

  Gavin frowned. “I’m no hero.”

  “That’s what all the good heroes say.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t see this working out.”

  “You don’t see it, because you’re not the card mage,” Zinnia said. She pointed at Dawna. “But our card mage foresaw a future with the group going into a volcano, so we have to do our part to make it come true.”

  Dawna grabbed Gavin by the shoulders. “You have to go, Gavin. You have to open the portal from the other side so we can get through. Who’s going to feed my cats if I don’t get back?”

  Gavin turned to Zinnia and gave her a defeated look. “The cats,” he said dully. “I’m going to stamp my foot three times, and I may rematerialize inside my apartment on Earth, or I may have my atoms scattered to the winds, but I’ll do it.” He swallowed and looked even more defeated. “I’ll do it for Dawna’s cats.”

  “That’s true love,” Zinnia said. “We should check with the others and make sure we’re all in agreement.”

  Gavin shook his head. “It’s now or never,” he said. “I don’t want to wait.” He cleared his throat. “Nobody likes long goodbyes.” He lifted his foot and prepared to stomp it three times.

  Zinnia waved her hands at Gavin. “Wait! Before you go. There’s one more thing.”

  “One more thing?”

  She leaned in close and whispered something into Gavin’s ear.

  He backed away, shaking his head. “I don’t like that idea,” he said. “This is getting complicated.”

  “Do it,” she implored. “You have to.”

  He kept shaking his head. “Messing with fate and timelines... We could get more than we bargained for.”

  “We must be brave and do what ought to be done.”

  Gavin took a deep breath. And then, before he could change his mind or be talked out of it, he stamped his foot on the ground three times.

  There was no puff of smoke or change in the air. He was just gone.

  Chapter 38

  Hours passed.

  The otherworldly sky, with its unfamiliar pattern of stars, turned purple, then burgundy. The red sun was rising after a long night.

  The remaining, non-statue members of the Wisteria Permits Department, Zinnia, Dawna, Karl, and Xavier, were making the best of their stay inside the cave. It wasn’t exactly hospitable, but it kept them out of the dusty winds that had picked up shortly after Gavin had teleported away.

  The lanterns were subdued, their fuel source nearly burned out. The wrinkled remains of the elevator doors were fastened to the wall from which they’d been torn. The broken pieces of the control panel had been reaffixed at the correct height, give or take a few inches. Zinnia hoped everything was close enough to match and work when the portal opened from the other side. That was, if the portal opened.

  It had been three hours since Gavin had disappeared, but given the rate-of-time differences between the two places, it was possible he was only now leaving his apartment to return to City Hall. It was a shame that gnomes could only teleport to one predetermined spot, but then again, if gnomes were able to travel anywhere at any time, that would have made them much more than gnomes. They would be wizards.

  Throughout the whole night, the king and queen had continued to argue about absolutely everything. Argue, make up, and argue again. They reminded some of the WPD crew of Gavin and Dawna. Both royals were sitting now, just outside the cave entrance. The king had shrunk in size and was only twice the size of the queen. He was still smoldering, though—both his mood and his physical body.

  They had come to an agreement that they were going to stick together and work on their issues.

  “I won’t leave you,” Beth said, for the umpteenth time. “I give you my word. My word is my bond. I will not leave your side.”

  “Then why are we still here at the mountain?” The king sounded grumpy and doubtful.

  “You can go back to the castle without me. I’m staying to see if the Earth people can return home.”

  “I’m not leaving without you,” he said. “And you’re not leaving with them.”

  “I already promised I won’t go!”

  “If you play a trick on me and you leave, I’m going to start eating the villagers. I will eat one every minute until they’re all gone.”

  “This is exactly what you always do. You and your threats. It’s emotional blackmail!”

  “You told me that all is fair in love and war.”

  “That’s not what that saying means.”

  He growled, shaking the ground once again. A few loose pebbles fell from the cave ceiling.

  “Don’t be like that,” Beth said. “The Earth people are listening. They’re going to think we’re in an abusive relationship.”

  More like codependent, Zinnia thought to herself. But also abusive, to some degree. At least that was how it looked from the outside.

  The king said something in a low voice Zinnia couldn’t hear. Beth giggled.

  After a moment, Beth called back into the cave, “We’re going for a walk, but we’ll be back. Do you need anything?”

  Zinnia replied, “If you pass by a Starbucks, I’d love a latte. Get one for everyone, my treat.”

  Beth giggled. “What are you talking about?”

  Zinnia waved a hand. “Never mind.”

  It was a real shame all Zinnia’s coworkers were asleep; they’d missed her lightening the mood with anachronisms.

  Beth and the king walked off, leaving Zinnia the only person awake at the camp.

  The snake-goddess, Diablo, was still there, albeit in her blue snake form. She was currently draped around the shoulders of the statue of Margaret. The statue appeared to be wearing the snake as a scarf. Margaret wouldn’t have liked that, since she was dead-set against the wearing of fur or animal skins, other than as shoes.

  Xavier had fallen asleep hours earlier, curled up in a ball near the cave entrance. He’d been inconsolable about the disappearance of Liza. It had been a relief to the whole group when he’d finally fallen asleep. Dawna dozed with her head on Xavier’s shoe. She couldn’t have been too comfortable, but Karl had put his wrinkled suit jacket over her as a makeshift blanket, and she appeared to be sleeping.

  Karl was sleeping next to the fire in a seated position, with his back propped up on a boulder. When Zinnia walked over to stoke the fire, he woke and mumbled a greeting.

  An hour later, Karl and Zinnia sat across from each other on boulders. The fire burned brightly between them. Zinnia had been cautious about using the magic in the air. The source energy didn’t behave the way Witch Tongue did back on Earth.

  She had, however, used the abundant magic to split some of the combustible building materials into firewood, and she’d also used magic to light the fire. A third spell redirected all of the campfire smoke back out of the cave so they wouldn’t be smoked out. Zinnia was grateful for her camping trips with her mentor, where she’d learned these basic spells.

  Karl, who had removed his tie entirely and rolled up his shirt sleeves, gazed into the flames.

  “Good job on the fire,” he said to Zinnia.

  “Thanks, boss.”

  “I told you before. I’m not your boss anymore. You and I are equals. We’re both the heads of our own departments.”

  “Then I suppose that makes me the head of the Department of Cave Fires.” Zinnia smiled and tossed another chunk of lumber onto the fire. The cave was already toasty warm, but she had to do something to keep her mind off her worries. Was Gavin on his way back? Would the plan work? Did he even survive the interdimensional teleportation?

  Karl smiled back at Zinnia. “If you’re head of the Department of Cave Fires, that makes me the head of...” He looked around them. “I don’t know what.”

  “Safety,” she said. “You did a fine job getting everyone out of here in one piece when the king was shaking
the mountain.”

  “Not quite all in one piece.” He leaned forward and studied her face. “But it looks like your busted teeth have already grown back in.”

  Zinnia rubbed her teeth. The two in the front felt shorter than they should have been. They were still regrowing. Bemusedly, she said, “Ah! So those were the ones I was spitting out after the king caused the earthquake.”

  “You were spittin’ mad after that. Like a tough guy in a fighting movie.”

  “I really was spittin’ mad. I don’t take it very well when my powers get stolen.”

  “At least you won’t need to see a dentist as soon as we get back.”

  She chuckled. “Having to see a dentist was the least of my worries.”

  “It must be nice to have those witch powers. You’re sort of a superhero.”

  “What about you? What powers do trolls—er, I mean sprites have?”

  Karl gave her a rare grin. “We’re very good at collecting tolls for bridges, and eating billy goats.”

  “Ha ha,” she said. “But seriously. Tell me a little more about your people.”

  “You go first. Your powers must have some limits. What’s your weakness?”

  “You mean my Kryptonite?” She batted her eyelashes. It was witchbane, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. “Microwave pizza.”

  Karl narrowed his small, squinty eyes. “Something tells me that’s not true.”

  “Have you ever seen me eat microwave pizza?”

  “Come to think of it, no.”

  “Exactly. Now you tell me your Kryptonite.”

  He glanced around the cave. “Diamonds,” he said mischievously. “If you throw diamonds at me, I’m beaten. But you have to use a lot of diamonds.”

  Zinnia crossed her arms. “Fine. Don’t tell me about sprites. Be mysterious.” She thought of the book her niece referred to as the Monster Manual. She would be looking up sprites—as well as trolls—as soon as she got home.

  “Sprites love being mysterious,” he said.

  Zinnia rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “I do know you’ve got that long tongue, and you snacked on those bone-crawlers like they were candied apples.”

  Karl twitched his bulbous nose. “Candied apples would have tasted a lot better.” He leaned back and rubbed his stomach. “But I can’t say I’m any worse off for having munched on some otherworldly vermin. Sprites have unusual digestion issues, especially in regard to gases.”

  Zinnia kept a straight face, thinking about the vast number of times Karl had irradiated parts of the office with his gases. Dryly, she said, “You don’t say.”

  “We require a lot of chitin,” he said. “The long-chain polymer is a vital protein for us. We sprites need far more chitin than we get in the standard American diet.”

  “I had no idea. Chitin. As in the protein that’s in lobster shells?”

  “Oh, yes. I do love lobster, shells and all.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind for the next office potluck.” She glanced over at the battered elevator doors. “Assuming there is a next potluck.”

  Karl followed her gaze to the portal area. He and the others had been told about the current plan. Karl had seemed miffed about not being consulted, but had congratulated Zinnia for taking charge with the plan anyway.

  “There will be another potluck,” Karl said. “Gavin Gorman puts on an act, but he’s a good worker. Deep down, he’s a solid team player.”

  Zinnia chuckled. “And a snappy dresser. I mean, if we’re handing out compliments willy-nilly, I’ll give him that.”

  “Do you think so? I always felt his clothes were on the tight side. Perhaps one size too small.”

  “It’s true! I thought it was just me who felt that way.”

  Karl picked up another piece of lumber and tossed it onto the roaring fire. “Zinnia, it sounds like you and I have a lot more in common than we thought.”

  “Indeed,” she said.

  Something bright flitted through her field of view. She leaned back and looked up. Outside the cave entrance, the sun was rising and already baking the desert in warm red light. Inside the cave, the ceiling was still dark. Against the darkness were spots of light. Hundreds of them. Thousands. Something inside the cave was glowing.

  “Look at that,” Zinnia said. She got to her feet and examined one of the bright spots.

  “What’s that?” Karl got to his feet, came around the roaring fire, and joined her. “Fireflies?” He squinted at the dark ceiling. “I’ll be! It’s one of those things that flew out of that snow globe in your office.”

  “It’s a glowfish,” she said. “Some of them are clinging to the ceiling, and some are swimming through the air.”

  Karl gently blew on one of the glowfish, sending it swimming away even faster. “Tiny fish that swim through the air,” he said with wonder. “Now I’ve seen everything.”

  Another voice rang through the cave. “Does that mean you’re ready to go home now?”

  Chapter 39

  Karl and Zinnia turned to see Gavin standing within a bright box of light at the side of the cave. Zinnia rushed forward and threw her arms around the gnome. She’d never been so happy to see Gavin. She’d never been so happy to see anyone.

  “Easy now,” Gavin said. “I already have a girlfriend.”

  Zinnia pulled away quickly, shot him a look, and went to wake Dawna and Xavier.

  “You made it,” Karl said to Gavin. “Good work. You’re a real team player.”

  Gavin ducked his head impishly. “Thanks, boss. I would have been here sooner, but I had some issues with security at the hospital.” He nodded over his shoulder at the other occupant of the elevator—an elderly woman with white hair, propped up in a wheelchair.

  Gavin rolled the wheelchair out of the elevator, then quickly ran back inside it, where he used his foot to prop open the door.

  The white-haired woman surveyed the scene with bugged-out eyes.

  Gavin said to Zinnia, “I’ll stay here holding the door, if you don’t mind. Would you mind waking everyone?”

  Zinnia and Karl managed to get Dawna awake easily. Xavier was harder to rouse.

  Dawna’s gaze fell on the old woman. “The crone!” She grabbed Zinnia’s arm excitedly. “That’s the crone! I didn’t think she was important, since she only came up in the readings with the volcano ending.”

  “Gavin found her for us,” Zinnia said. “Well, for Liza.”

  Dawna held her hand over her mouth shyly. “When I got the crone, I thought it was either you or Margaret.”

  Zinnia raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

  “No offense,” Dawna said.

  “Too late,” Zinnia muttered.

  Xavier made a beeline for the elderly woman, looked at her, then demanded of Gavin, “Who’s this? Why’d you drag some old lady into this mess? We’re trying to get out of here, not start a colony.” They had explained the whole plan to Xavier, but either he hadn’t been listening or hadn’t retained the information. The poor young man had been a mess since Liza’s disappearance.

  The woman in the wheelchair spoke up. “I’m not some old lady, dear. That’s no way to speak to your elder.”

  Dawna elbowed Xavier. “This is Liza’s grandmother. We told you she might be coming. She’s here for Liza.”

  Queenie Gilbert said, “I am Liza’s grandmother. Where is she?”

  Xavier muttered, “I’m asleep. This is all a dream.”

  Dawna said to Queenie, “He’s just confused because the last time he saw you, you were standing on the side of the mountain yelling at the king, who happens to be a giant made of glowing lava.”

  “The king?” Queenie held her pale, skeletal hand to her mouth. She’d lost a lot of weight since her visit to City Hall, and was now painfully thin. “Oh, dear. You must have me confused with someone else.”

  Zinnia walked over to the woman’s wheelchair and crouched to be at eye level. The cords at the sides of Queenie’s neck were taut, and she seemed to be straining t
o get out of her wheelchair but too weak to do so.

  Zinnia said softly, “Queenie, can you remember the time when you were last here?”

  “I don’t know this place,” she said, her voice trembling.

  “Do you remember the last time people called you Beth?”

  The woman’s wide-set, honey-brown eyes brightened. “Oh, yes. It was before my big vacation. I went to the most beautiful places.”

  “And where were those places?”

  The white-haired woman let out a nervous laugh. “They weren’t on another planet, if that’s what you mean! It was just Europe. Italy, Spain, France. That sort of thing.”

  Zinnia held her gaze. “Are you sure about that?”

  Queenie nodded. “Yes, dear. When I was on vacation, I made the most wonderful friend, and she started calling me Queenie.”

  Zinnia glanced back over her shoulder, then back at the elderly woman. “Queenie, how many pale moons do you see hanging in the sky behind me?”

  The woman looked. “Two.” She pulled her head back. “Two? I’m sorry. I must be confused. I haven’t been feeling well lately.”

  Zinnia patted her on the knee. “I understand your time on Earth is drawing to a close. How do you feel about... moving on to a different place?”

  “Sweetheart, we all move on to a different place, whether we feel like it or not. We all...” She frowned, looked down at her lap, and cleared her throat. “That’s odd. I can feel my feet.” She kicked at the blanket that covered her legs. “I can feel my feet. I think maybe I can walk.”

  Karl cut in. “Your hair!” He turned to the others, gesticulating excitedly. “Look at her hair! It’s growing, and changing color!”

  Sure enough, Queenie Gilbert’s hair was lengthening. The white strands were turning a golden blonde. Her wrinkles disappeared. Her face smoothed and took on more color. Her eyes remained the same, but less sunken. With each breath, her youth returned. In a matter of minutes, she appeared to be exactly the same age as the woman who was currently outside arguing with a petulant king made of lava.