Getting Off Easy

by Erin Nicholas

  He pushed the door open, letting Harper step in first, then following her, but she came up short. He bumped into her and looked up to see what had caught her attention.

  It was Sophie and Isaac and Fred. Isaac was propped up in his car seat, sitting on the middle couch cushion. Fred was right beside him. They were both listening to Sophie read from what appeared to be a thick textbook. In French.

  She gave Harper and James a little wave and smile but kept going, her voice almost singsong as she read the text out loud.

  When she got to the end of the page, and what sounded like the end of the chapter, she stopped. “Hi,” she greeted.

  “Hi,” Harper said, finally stepping fully into the apartment.

  “I needed to finish reading that chapter, and he will just not go to sleep,” Sophie said, looking at the baby with a soft smile. “So I thought I’d combine studying with entertaining.”

  “Looks like you have a rapt audience,” Harper said, moving to gaze down at the baby and the dog.

  Fred gave a soft woof and wagged his tail. Harper ran a hand over his head and back and then let him lick her hand.

  “Has Isaac been fussy?” she asked Sophie.

  “No, not really,” Sophie said. “A bit when he was wet and hungry. But mostly he’s just been awake. Alert. Like he just wants to hang out and not miss anything.”

  James swallowed hard and tossed his keys on the table by the door, trying to seem like everything was fine. Trying to tell himself everything was fine. But it wasn’t. Lexi wouldn’t be coming over to deliver the DNA news in person if everything was fine. He almost wished he’d insisted she just tell him what was going on over the phone, but honestly, now that he was home, he was grateful he hadn’t. If it was bad news, he wanted to be here, in his home, with his dog and Harper, to deal with whatever it was.

  “Well, great,” Harper said. She was looking at Isaac with a strange expression.

  James wondered if she was debating about picking the baby up. He was feeling the same way. He was torn. He wanted to cuddle the little guy. Hug him and hold him and assure himself that Isaac was fine. On the other hand, he was afraid he might not ever put him back down if he picked him up now.

  “Thanks so much for coming over tonight,” James said, pulling his wallet out and withdrawing money for Sophie.

  She took it, though for just a moment he thought she was going to turn it down. She slid it into her pocket and gave him a smile. “I enjoyed it. Thanks for letting me do it. I’m happy to help out any time.”

  “We’ll remember that,” James said. Hell, part of him would love to make plans right now to take Harper out for a romantic dinner that weekend and wanted to ask Sophie to plan to come over, but something held him back. He needed to know what was going on first. He had a nagging feeling that Lexi was about to tell them something that was going to change all of their plans.

  Sophie gathered her stuff, said goodbye, and even went over and gave Isaac a kiss on the head. “See you soon, sweetie,” she said to him. Then she patted Fred and headed out.

  James went to Isaac. “I guess I’ll change him and see if we can get him down before Lexi—”

  There was a knock on the door just then.

  Harper sucked in a quick breath. Clearly, she was feeling the same touch of dread he was.

  He looked down at her. “Here we go.”

  She nodded.

  He pulled the door open. Lexi wasn’t alone. But it wasn’t Caleb. Another woman was with her.

  “Hey.”

  Lexi gave him a little smile. “Hey. James, this is Shelly. Shelly works at the hospital with me. Shelly, this is James.” She leaned in. “And that’s Harper.”

  “Hi.” Shelly extended her hand.

  James took it. “Come on in.”

  It was not a good thing that Lexi had brought a coworker with her.

  Harper had already gathered Isaac out of his car seat and was holding him, rocking gently side to side, as if to comfort him. But James knew it was her who needed the comforting. He felt the same way.

  “Are you a nurse, too?” he asked Shelly. Maybe she specialized in genetic disorders or something.

  “No. I’m a social worker,” Shelly said. Then she lifted a hand. “But I’m only here to provide information tonight, I promise. I’m here as a favor to Lexi.”

  “Information?” Harper asked. “Why would you be here to provide information about the DNA test?”

  Lexi shook her head. “That’s not why she’s here. But let’s start at the beginning. Do you guys want to sit down?”

  “No.” James knew his tone was sharper than it needed to be, but his emotions were swirling now. He braced his feet apart and crossed his arms. “Just tell us what’s going on, Lex.”

  She took a breath. “Okay. The test results came back as I said. And… you’re not the father.”

  There was a long pause where no one said anything or even moved.

  “Wait. What?” Harper finally asked.

  Lexi shook her head. “James is not Isaac’s father. We can’t tell who is, of course, but we can tell that there is definitely not a match between the two of them.”

  Her words rocked through him. His throat tightened, and his heart thundered.

  “James?”

  He vaguely heard Harper’s voice filter through the static in his ears.

  Harper came closer, reaching for his arm. James couldn’t make his muscles work to uncross them. Hell, he couldn’t make his lungs work to take in oxygen.

  She laid her hand on his arm but looked at Lexi then Shelly.

  “So you’re here to help us with what? How to find his parents?”

  James looked at the two women. Fuck. His parents. Not just his mom—who was even further out of reach now—but both of Isaac’s parents were now a mystery. Well, at least he didn’t have to get Marcus to try to find Caroline for him.

  James waited for a feeling of relief or humor or even anger to go through him, but he felt nothing. He was numb.

  He hadn’t realized just how deeply, and how easily, it had sunk in that Isaac was his. From the moment Harper had suggested it, it had just felt right.

  Now nothing felt right.

  “Not… exactly,” Shelly said. She was watching them with some concern. “Maybe we should sit down. I can tell this is a shock.”

  Lexi was frowning at him. “You had to know there was a chance he wasn’t yours,” she said. “That’s why we did the DNA test.”

  “No,” he said flatly. Well, he’d found his voice. “No, I didn’t really know that. We did the DNA test to prove to everyone else, like doctors and teachers and whoever else would need proof, that he was mine. But no, Lexi, I guess I didn’t really believe that he wasn’t mine. Someone gave him to me. Why would they do that otherwise?”

  Yeah, he’d definitely found his voice. By the end of that, he was almost shouting.

  Harper squeezed his arm. Shelly nodded.

  “That’s a good question. And maybe a good place to start,” Shelly said. “Why would someone leave the baby with you?”

  “Because if you have something that needs taking care of and you’ve met James, he would be the first person to come to mind,” Harper said, her voice scratchy.

  He looked down at her, but she didn’t meet his gaze.

  “James is a natural protector. He’s a caregiver. He’s warm and loving and loyal and dependable. If you had a baby that you couldn’t take care of but that you loved and wanted to be sure was in a safe and loving place, then yes, James’s doorstep would be on the top of your list.”

  His heartbeat thundered, and he was finally able to move. He uncrossed his arms and put one around Harper, pulling her and Isaac up against his side, hugging her close. He looked at Shelly. “What do we need to do now? Apply to be his guardians? Foster parents? Start an adoption process?”

  She held up a hand. “Okay, slow down. That’s why Lexi asked me to come—to talk to you about all of this. What happens next, where thi
ngs stand. All of that.”

  James sighed. “All right.” They needed answers, and it seemed that Shelly had them. “Let’s sit.”

  Shelly and Lexi looked relieved. Everyone took seats around the living room. Harper and James sat together with Isaac on the couch, right against each other, his arm still around her.

  “I want to reiterate that I’m here tonight as a friend of Lexi’s,” Shelly started. “I’m not here in an official capacity.”

  “What does that mean?” Harper asked. “If you were here in an official capacity, what would be happening?”

  “I would be taking Isaac with me when I leave,” Shelly said simply.

  James felt his gut clench and his heart thump. “That’s bullshit,” he said sharply. “His mother—or father,” he added, realizing that was a possibility now, “left him with me. They wanted him to be with me.”

  Shelly nodded. “I understand that. And that’s a consideration, to an extent.”

  “To an extent?” James said, his voice rising a bit again. “What the fuck does that mean?”

  Isaac started and his face wrinkled. Harper rubbed his back and cooed to him softly while James worked to regulate his blood pressure.

  “From what I understand, there was a note,” Shelly said, totally keeping her cool.

  James supposed that she encountered plenty of emotional, angry people in her line of work.

  “There was.”

  “Do you still have it?”

  “I do.”

  “Can I see it?”

  James went straight for the area of his kitchen counter where he kept his stack of bills to pay and a shopping list. He pulled the note out and handed it over to Shelly before settling back on the couch with Harper. He was sure she could feel the tension in his body. He didn’t think he’d be getting rid of that any time soon, no matter how hard he tried to relax.

  Shelly glanced at the note—it wasn’t long and didn’t take long to read—then looked up. “This is a bit of a problem.”

  “Why?”

  “There’s no name. This could have been written by anyone. You could have written it.”

  James glared at her. “I didn’t fucking write it.”

  “I believe you,” Shelly said. “But a judge might not.”

  “A judge?” Harper asked.

  “This baby has been abandoned,” Shelly explained. “Lexi said she didn’t think that you’re already foster parents?”

  “No,” James confirmed, knowing where this was going.

  “There’s a process for all of this. If you want to work on becoming a foster parent or look into adoption, all of that is fine, of course.”

  “But,” Harper prompted. “In the meantime…”

  “The baby will go to a foster home.”

  “The mother fucking gave him to me,” James said through gritted teeth. “She wanted him with me. That should matter.”

  “And it might,” Shelly agreed. “I’m sure the court will take that into consideration, but”—she shrugged—“it would be so much easier if you knew who she was, if she could be a part of this.”

  “How could she be a part of it?” Harper asked.

  “It could be arranged as a private adoption,” Shelly said. “There would need to be lawyers involved, of course, but if the mother chose you as parents and could sign over her rights officially and testify, this would all be much easier.”

  “And the foster system could be avoided,” James said.

  “Yes.” Shelly leaned forward. “But I assure you that he will be placed in a good home, James. There’s no reason to be afraid of that.”

  “Of course there is,” James said, trying to keep his voice down. “Because it’s not here, with us.”

  Shelly pressed her lips together and nodded.

  “James—” Lexi started.

  “Why did you tell her?” James asked. “Why did you bring her into this?”

  Lexi frowned. “You need to know what your options are now. He’s not yours. You can’t just… keep him.”

  “Why not?” James felt frustration and anger and fear all coursing through him, burning in his veins.

  “There are processes and laws in place for a reason,” Shelly said. “Becoming parents to a child is not like adopting a kitten. You can’t just pick one up out of a box with a sign that says free to a good home.” She held up the note that had been in the basket with Isaac. “That’s not how it works, and that’s for the protection of the child and for you. If the mother decided to come back in a month or a year or five years, you’d want to have all of your ducks in a row, right? You’d want to have gone through the correct legal procedures to protect Isaac, and make sure everything happens in his best interest.”

  “We are in his best interest,” James insisted. “What will happen if I do just keep him? What if we just keep doing things just as we’ve been doing them?” He looked at Shelly. “Will you turn us in?”

  “All of the things we talked about the other day will still be issues, then,” Lexi said before Shelly could answer. “Just medically speaking, this is complicated, not to mention legally. You don’t know anything about her pregnancy, his birth, the family history. You can’t just show up at a doctor’s office without any of that and not raise suspicion, James. And you don’t even have your half of the medical history to refer to. You can’t claim that you’re the father and she just left you with the kid. You have no rights here.”

  James could tell this was hard for Lexi, but she was trying to be a good friend and be honest.

  He didn’t care.

  He was angry. And scared. And sad.

  He was losing his son. Isaac might not be his biologically, and therefore, legally, but dammit, James felt like the baby was his.

  “I can come back tomorrow. I can handle the case personally and keep you as updated on things as I’m able,” Shelly said. “I will keep you in the loop as much as I can.”

  “I could just take off with him tonight,” James said.

  “You won’t,” Lexi told him. “You wouldn’t do that. You have a job, family, friends.” She shot a look at Harper. “You have lots of reasons to stay. Don’t do anything stupid.”

  “And that would be kidnapping. And then the police would get involved. And you don’t want that,” Shelly added.

  James glared at her. She didn’t even blink.

  He could only imagine some of the shit she’d seen and done in her line of work. He saw plenty just in what he did as a firefighter.

  He didn’t say anything more. He didn’t have to confirm that he wasn’t going to go anywhere with Isaac tonight. But he also didn’t have to act happy and agreeable about any of this.

  Shelly stretched to her feet. She laid a business card on the coffee table. “If you have any questions, even later on tonight, please feel free to call me,” she said. “That’s my cell number. I answer twenty-four seven.”

  James just nodded. Shelly started for the door. Lexi stood and stepped around the coffee table. She paused beside the couch and put a hand on his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He looked up and forced himself to give her a nod. She hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d given him a DNA test. It had turned out he wasn’t the father. That wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her fault that he’d so easily accepted the idea that Isaac was his without waiting for proof. It also wasn’t her fault that he’d immediately started looking for one of his past hookups to be the mother, further enforcing the idea in his mind that he was now a dad.

  “I know,” he told her. “It’s okay.”

  She looked like she wanted to say more but then like she wasn’t sure what to say. She nodded. Finally, she added, “Shelly is a good person. She’ll take good care of him.”

  She wouldn’t take care of him as well as James and Harper would, but James didn’t say that. He just nodded.

  Lexi followed Shelly, and they left, pulling the door shut quietly behind them.

  James and Harper sat to
gether on the couch in stunned, pained silence for several long minutes. Eventually, Isaac started to fuss and Harper rose. James followed. Both without speaking. Together they changed him, fed him, rocked him, and when he was asleep, put him down in the bassinet next to the bed.

  Harper stood staring down at him for a long moment, then she reached out and ran a hand over his head. The baby took a deep breath and let it out with a little, contented sigh.

  That was when she broke.

  A sob escaped. She put a hand over her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut. But she couldn’t keep it in. Another sob, then a shuddering breath, then another sob. Tears started.

  James reached out and pulled her in, feeling his own eyes burning. His throat was tight. His chest was tight. He had no words.

  He couldn’t comfort her. He couldn’t say it would be okay. He couldn’t say that he’d fix it. He couldn’t say they’d make a plan.

  So he just held her. Tightly. Feeling her tears wet the front of his shirt, feeling his tears track down his cheeks. Sharing the pain.

  He turned them, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling her into his lap. They sat like that, holding each other and crying until, finally, they lay back and eventually fell asleep.

  At some point in the night, he pulled the comforter up over them both. But neither of them moved out of the other’s arms.

  Isaac didn’t stir all night, and in the morning, when James woke up and realized that, it made him sad, too. He would have loved a few extra stolen hours with the baby in the night.

  Then he rolled over and realized that Harper was no longer in his bed, and the huge, cold ball of dread got even bigger.

  The pounding on her apartment door didn’t surprise her.

  It frustrated her a little because she was only about ten minutes away from walking out and heading to work, and she could have avoided this.

  But it didn’t surprise her.

  She also knew there was a good chance he would have come to the campus to find her if she’d tried to sneak out and avoid him, so this was maybe for the best.