When Life Gets in the Way

by Ines Vieira

  “I´m right here you know!” Tony says, as he takes shotgun up front with Isaac. Jess rolls her eyes and continues to stare at the nape of Isaac’s neck for a response.

  “Alex took over for me at the store today. Or would you have preferred that my mom handled Tony and the store on her own?”

  “Again, I’m right here!” Tony exclaims.

  “Fine. Just start the car already.” The car is silent for about ten minutes then Ronnie tries to lighten the mood with her usual cheerful self.

  “So Isaac, Tony, any plans for today? Are you guys coming along to Columbia too?”

  “No way! A tour of Jess’s school is the last thing that we want to do in New York. Isaac and I are gonna do our own thing in Manhattan. We’ll check in at the hotel together and then we go our separate ways.” He winks back at us. I feel Jess relaxing immediately.

  “Really?” her voice is the epitome of calm, even though I know that she is jumping for joy on the inside.

  “Really Jess. If you didn’t always jump to conclusions, I would have told you straight off the bat and save you the hissy fit.” I hear scorn in Isaac’s voice that makes me wonder what else Jess might have jumped to conclusions about. She scrunches her face, something that I know comes before an apology from her.

  “I’m sorry, Isaac. I should have trusted you. Sorry.” From the front view mirror I see him smile and so does she. Whatever they were upset about seemed to be resolved, at least for the duration of this trip.

  “So are you guys going to stay in Manhattan?” Ronnie continues taking advantage of the truce.

  “Well Columbia isn’t the only thing in Manhattan, so we’ll have plenty to see, but the best thing about it is that it’s also the home to Terminal 5!” Tony sounds so pleased with himself that I’m scared to ask what Terminal 5 is. Gosh, I hope it’s not a strip club.

  “While you guys go and do your ‘Sex in The City’ tour, we’re going to see Twenty One Pilots and then paint the town red.”

  “What? You guys are going to Terminal 5 to see Twenty One Pilots? Didn’t it occur to either of you that we might like to go too?” Jess shrieks.

  “Huh. No! Just a couple of minutes ago you wanted to throw me out of this car, now you want to tag along? I don’t think so little cuz!” Of course, they had plans of their own. Just like him bringing Tony along, this was just another way for him to keep us at a distance. To keep me at a distance. Even though he was taking us to New York, that didn’t mean that he was actually going to spend time with us.

  I feel Ronnie’s hand over mine as she gives a quick squeeze accompanied by one of her mischievous grins. She then lets go and picks up her phone. She is frantically typing something on it like a woman on a mission, then after a few minutes, she smiles back at me pleased with herself.

  “Done. Ladies, I have just bought us three tickets to tonight’s show at Terminal 5. It seems like we will be accompanying you after all.” All three of us in the back are thrilled while the two boys in the front slouch with the setback to their plans.

  “Great…” I hear him mumble in the driver seat. For the first time in months our eyes lock together through the rearview mirror. Triumphant, I don’t to look away, but as soon as I realize that my cheeks are blushing from the heat of his stare, I vacillate and drop my gaze to the floor.

  CHAPTER 20

  ISAAC

  This is so not how I saw this night playing out. We’ve been waiting for the girls for almost 15 minutes now on the sidewalk in Hell’s Kitchen. We should have waited for them at the hotel as Jessica had begged. But no, I had to be a moron and tell them that if they wanted to come to the concert with us then they would have to come on their own and meet up with us there. I had been able to put some distance between me and Cass the whole day, but I was beginning to think that I wouldn’t be so lucky tonight.

  Tony and I were about to go in when Jess texted saying that they were already in the subway and to hang back and wait for them just a few more minutes.

  A little part of me wished that they couldn’t even get in. This was a Rock Club after all, so there were bars on all three floors of the place, including the terrace. They needed to be at least twenty-one to get in. I wasn’t worried about having that problem. Both Tony and I had brought our fake ID’s with us for the trip and we looked like college students anyway, which were the majority of the crowd attending tonight's concert. So it would be easy enough to fool the big ass bouncer that was at the door. Tony had already used his by purchasing a bottle of Petron this afternoon. We had some shots of tequila back at the hotel just to get hyped up for tonight. I drank more in the hopes that it gave me liquid courage to handle being so close to Cass again.

  “I’m done waiting. They can meet us inside if they want.” I say bitterly, already crossing the street.

  “Yo primo, wait up, Porra! You sure about this? We did tell Tio that we would watch over them this weekend. I have to admit that I don’t like to think about little Jess alone walking these streets by herself. We should have waited on them, dude.” Tony acting more responsible than me doesn’t sit well, but I ignore his worried expression none the less.

  “She’s not by herself; she has Ronnie and Cass with her. Come on.” We’re already showing our ID’s and handing in our tickets when I hear someone yelling my name and Tony’s. I look back and see all three girls making their way to the door. They look stunning all glammed up in their short skirts, but Cassandra is simply breathtaking. She’s wearing a black leather jacket with black skinny jeans and knee boots to match. Her hair is up in a ponytail and she has on little diamond studs. My heart forgets to beat at some point and I have to remember to breathe.

  “Thanks a lot guys, for waiting. You guys are real gentlemen." My little cousin scorns us.

  “Hey don’t look at me. I was all up for waiting. Isaac here is the one with a stick up his ass.” Tony defends.

  “Whatever.” The girls all hand in their tickets and, of course, the bouncer doesn’t even think twice about checking them for proof of ID. Why would he? The way all three are dressed, in tightly fitted clothes, they’ll spend half the night having guys fall over themselves to buy them drinks. It's good business having them inside. Just the thought makes me see red.

  I see Cass steal a glance at me and it’s enough to make her cheeks flush when I stare back. She’s been doing that every since we left Plymouth this morning. Fuck! I need a drink. This is going to be one long ass night!

  We make our way to the main floor where our concert will take place and it’s all that I expected it to be. Loud, full of people talking and drinking, waiting for the show to start. I love places like this. Loud enough that they are able to drown out the noises in your own head.

  There are too many people though and in this crowd, the girls can get separated from us easily. I might have been a dick about not waiting up for them but seeing how all three are dressed, I’ll have to keep my eye on them at all times. No man here will think that they are still in high school, so they won't treat them like seventeen-year-olds either. I can’t have that. Not with Jess, not with Ronnie, and definitely not with Cass.

  I nudge my head up to Tony so he understands that we should move to the second floor. I can tell that he thought the same thing and already has his arms over Jess and Ronnie protectively leading them up the stairs. Out of habit, I grab Cass’s hand and pull her towards me. I don’t say a word to her, though. I couldn’t even if I tried. Having her hand in mine, having her so close to me again is splitting me in two. I pull her in front of me and let go of her hand immediately as she makes her way up the stairs following my cousins and Ronnie and my jaw clenches up.

  She’s taken off her jacket and I see that she is wearing a black backless halter top. The only thing holding it together are two strings neatly tied in a bow in the middle of her back and another bow in the nape of her neck. I see all her creamy skin in front of my eyes and it takes all my willpower not to trace my fingers on that perfect flesh. I am now positi
ve that by the end of the night I will go insane!

  I’m staring so hard at the perfect dimples on her lower back, that delicious spot above her low fitted jeans, that it takes me a minute to see that we’ve stopped climbing the stairs and that Cass is almost on top of me. By reflex, I put my hands on her waist to balance her, and she throws her head back to look at me. I feel my fingers cling to her waist and her stare heating me from the inside. I see her shy smile try to break free, but I shut it down immediately and take my hands off of her.

  “Watch where you’re going.” She nods sadly and continues to walk up the stairs. I swallow hard and try to get a grip on reality. She’s not mine to touch. I keep repeating this mantra over and over again, but my eyes are still traveling over her entire body making my own ache in return.

  The second floor is less crowded than downstairs but still loud enough that you have to yell to the person next to you to be heard. There is a bar all along the side of the wall full of people shouting their orders. There is another rail on the other side where we have a full view of the stage on the main floor downstairs. It's safe enough for us to see the concert from up here and still keep an eye on the girls.

  Tony takes the girls to the rail and I go get us a couple of drinks. I get Tony and myself two beers and three bottles of water for the girls. When I get back, the band has already started. Both Ronnie and Jess are sitting down on the floor with their legs under the rail while Tony is standing up, hovering over them like a hawk. I hand him his beer and lean down to give the girls their waters. Cass is just a little bit to the side leaning over the rail. I nudge her shoulder to get her attention and hand her the water bottle.

  “Thanks.” I nod and hang back behind her making sure that she is in my sights throughout the whole concert. So much for distance.

  An hour into the concert and I am literally behind Cass with my hands on the rail on each side of her. The place is now packed and there is very little room to move. I finished my beer a while ago but neither Tony and I want to risk going back to the bar and leave the girls on their own.

  The band is amazing, though. It wasn’t hard to convince Tony to come to New York with me and the girls. He knew that this band was playing and coming to this concert had been his one condition to coming along. I had heard some of their stuff in his car before so I knew he was a fan. I have to admit that the band was really good. The music was a mash between Alternative hip hop, Indie, and Electro-pop. A strange mixture but it definitely worked in the band’s favor. I even saw Cass mouth some of their lyrics.

  It was hard to pay attention to the band, though. Before when I had stepped in closer to her due to the lack of room, she didn’t even flinch. She just continued to sway to the beat and sing out all the songs she knew. I was so close that I could smell her perfume and the jasmine shampoo she used. The club was hot as hell, but every time I nudged closer to her, I saw the goosebumps crawl up to the surface of her bare back. With her hair up I had a perfect view of the nape of her neck all the way down to her lower back.

  I couldn’t look away. I had missed her too god damned much and this proximity was fucking excruciating. With every song that the band played, she seemed freer, more alive and it was intoxicating to watch.

  I’m not sure what moment made me decide to lose my fucking mind. Maybe it was when she leaned back on my shoulder. Maybe it was when I felt her sway against my thigh. I really couldn’t say. All I know is that one moment my hands were clutching the rail on her sides and the next they were on her waist.

  My thumbs began stroking her skin softly. There was so much noise all around us, but I still heard her gasp. She stopped moving her body to the music just as I had begun moving mine. With one finger I gently traced an invisible line from the back of her ear, down to her neck and again down her whole back. Skin shouldn’t be this soft, this tempting. I felt my mouth water and go dry all at the same time. The only bass I heard, was that of my own heart thumping away in my ears but I couldn’t stop.

  I leaned in closer and kissed that sweet part where her shoulder met her neck, and I felt her shiver in my arms. I held her back tightly to me placing one hand on her waist and another on her flat stomach. I continued my own personal torture. This was going to end me, but I still couldn’t stop. I kissed her softly again, this time on her neck, making my way up to her ear while the hand I had placed in front of her found its way inside her shirt caressing her belly button.

  When I finally reached that perfect small diamond stud with my mouth, I bit the very lobe it was in. My hand spread out flat on her stomach and I felt my thumb brush under her breast and that’s when I felt her lean back and lay her hands on my thighs. All of me reacted to this one touch, and I lost sight of anyone that was around us. I grabbed her waist with both hands and swung her to face me pulling her chest to hit hard on mine. With one hand gripping her lower back and the other already behind her neck, I crashed into her mouth without even asking permission with my eyes. My lips were hard on hers and my tongue was merciless. I wanted to crawl in her and conquer each and every part of her mouth. I felt her arms around my neck and her fingers dig in my hair pushing me to go even deeper. I felt her supple tongue caress mine with delicious strokes. When she moaned into my mouth, my whole body burned in flames. We were all teeth and tongue and swollen lips. She tugged at my hair and I bit her bottom lip playfully before sucking and nibbling on it.

  “Isaac…” Her hands were on either side of my face making me look into those hazel eyes that I had dreamt about for months. They were full of desire and want. They were full of love, but I had seen this look before and it had already fooled me once. I wouldn’t let it fool me again. It was my imagination that got me to believe that this look was real, and it had broken me in too many ways when I realized that it wasn’t. I was still gluing up the pieces and after my weakened resolve tonight, I would have to start all over again. I reprimanded myself for being this powerless around her. I pulled myself away and look over to the side. Both my cousins and Ronnie were staring at us flabbergasted. I leaned over so that only Tony could hear me.

  “I gotta go. You ok to take the girls back to the hotel?” He nods and gives my shoulder a quick squeeze. I look over to Jess and tell her that Tony will take them back. She nods and kisses my cheek with concern in her eyes. It’s the first time in months that she looks like she’s worried about me. I turn around and start to make my way to the stairs. I don’t even say goodbye to Cassandra.

  I have to put as much distance between Cass and me that is humanly possible. My whole body is angry at me for stopping the make-out session when I did, and my heart is livid for even starting. I run down the stairs and I don’t look back.

  Only when I reach the outside of the club am I able to see how truly screwed I really am.

  CASS

  “What the hell was that?!” Ronnie yells. I know that it’s loud in here and that everyone is shouting to be heard, but something tells me that Ronnie would have yelled out that question even if we were in the middle of the New York Public Library.

  My fingers are still tracing my lower lip, my body is still trembling and my head is still blurry with that one knee-buckling kiss. I remember each and every one of Isaac’s kisses. They have been burnt into my soul to be relived over and over in my dreams. This kiss, though, this was the mother of all kisses. There was so much I realized from it.

  One – There was not enough time in the world to heal me after this kiss.

  Two – Isaac still felt something for me, of that I was certain.

  Three – The night wasn’t over yet! There was still hope.

  “I gotta go,” I said mimicking Isaac's parting words. I shrugged and kissed both Jess and Ronnie goodbye. I would have to explain to them later but right now I had to find Isaac. I even kiss Tony goodbye. He grabs my arm and tells me that if I can't find Isaac, to immediately come back here. If I do find him, then to text them so they know I’m okay. I’m actually touched by his concern and kiss him again on the
cheek to show how much I appreciate it. He smiles and shouts that I better get a move on.

  I run down the stairs, well as much as my heels will let me and make my way to the front door. There are still a couple of people on the street this time of night which comforts me somewhat. I run as fast as I can to the subway. I doubt that Isaac would have gotten himself into a cab and besides he had only left a few minutes ago, how far could he have actually gotten?

  I run as fast as my feet and lungs allow me and just when I’m about to lose hope and start contemplating heading back to the club, I see him a few feet in front of me.

  “Isaac! Isaac! Wait!” He stops but he doesn’t turn around. I run to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

  “Isaac, please look at me,” I whisper. He turns around with his hands in his front pockets and his wild hair covering half of his face. He pulls it back with his fingers to reveal his glum and tortured stare. I place my hand on his smooth-shaven face.

  “Please Isaac, look at me,” I beg. His eyes lock on mine and it takes my breath away.

  “Cass, I can’t do this now. Don’t make me.”

  “Do what, Isaac?” my fingers continue to stroke his face and he places his hand over mine.

  “This Cass. Whatever this is. I’m weak. You make me weak Cassandra. I’m not strong enough to do this again. I can't.” He leans into me and presses his forehead against mine and I feel his breath on me with every defeated word that comes out of his mouth. I realize that he’s been suffering just as I have, he just hid it better. I kind of envy him for putting such a great performance. I doubt that I was able to fool anyone that I wasn’t miserable without him.

  “I’m so sorry, Isaac.” He lets out a small laugh and keeps his eyes closed. As if the mere sight of me will break his resolve. “I never meant to hurt you.”