Heart's Desire

by Ellie Masters

  “Nothing is going on with me.”

  “Liar!” Skye laughed. “You asked me about the band. I say, have at it, just know what you’re getting into. Those boys are a one-and-done kind of proposition.”

  “You make it sound so cheap.”

  Skye shrugged. “Cheap but effective, considering what you told me. But, and I say this with love, I couldn’t help but notice that you couldn’t keep your eyes off Ryker.”

  “There’s nothing going on between me and Lyons. Besides, he’s strictly off-limits.”

  Her face screwed up. “I don’t get all these names. I never knew Ash as anything other than Ash, but all his fans scream Blaze. It messes with my head. It’s the same with the other guys, but you military types tip it on its edge. Lyons is Ryker, right? I don’t have that mixed up?”

  She laughed. “Yeah, I guess it’s just what we do. It’s more common with the enlisted. Since we’re always referring to each other by rank, that gets shortened to just the last name. Instead of Technical Sergeant Ryker Lyons, I can call him Tech Sergeant Lyons or Sergeant Lyons or just Lyons. Over time, it kind of boils down to a last name.”

  “So, why does your entire team call you T instead of Meyers? Shouldn’t Ryker call you Meyers and not T?”

  “To be honest, it’s a sexist holdover. Men can’t seem to do that with women. I think it depends on the last name. Meyers is a fairly masculine-sounding name, and they couldn’t call me by my first name without it being all awkward and potentially insulting. Nicknames are an entirely different matter, and once bestowed, they stick for life. Colonel Collins was the first to call me T; now, the whole unit does.”

  “See, that’s another thing I don’t get. Isn’t he a lieutenant colonel?”

  “Yes, but colonel or lieutenant colonel, they’re both referred to as colonel.”

  “It’s weird.”

  “Not when you live and breathe it.”

  “And are you happy? Are you happy living and breathing such a dangerous life? Don’t you ever think about quitting?”

  “I love my job.”

  “Do you see yourself doing this forever?”

  The doors banged open, bringing the rolling thunder of Angel Fire. Boldly beautiful, Bash entered first. Given a choice—and she felt she had a good chance at whomever she wanted—he would be the one she spent her one steamy night with. All brawn, the drummer had a muscular physique—nothing like Lyons, but also nothing to discard out of hand. A tall man, Lyons had height on all the men of Angel Fire and muscles, too. The only person of the group who was bigger, taller, broader, and more muscled was Forest. And she had zero interest in him. Bash, however, had a take-no-shit attitude.

  He sauntered in and dropped into the barely functional couch at the far end of the room. He already scanned the room and fixed a scowl to his face, making her wonder what might be going through his head.

  Sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ roll.

  Skye said the men’s appetites for sex were huge. As a powerhouse band, they’d managed to avoid the pitfalls of drugs. It had something to do with history involving Ash and Bash, a falling-out that had nearly destroyed the band. According to Skye, alcohol flowed easily, except this was Afghanistan and such things were frowned upon. She supposed that left not only Bash, but also the entire band of Angel Fire with only one thing to pursue. As one of the few females on base, she counted her chances of getting laid pretty damn good.

  Spike intrigued her. Out of them all, he looked the scariest with his multiple piercings. The rings in his lips and the two in his nose made her wonder how some things might work, but it was the ferocity in his eyes that had her counting him out. It wasn’t something she could pin down, and it wasn’t like she was some magical sage when it came to determining what was going on in other people’s heads, but a great anger simmered in his eyes—or maybe it was an emptiness of the soul. Something felt off with him, like she didn’t need to get embroiled in anything with him.

  Noodles made her smile. The harshness of his tribal tattoos might make him seem fierce, but he played the keyboard with youthful exuberance, and he was always cutting it up with the other guys. There was a sense of freedom in his spirit. Again, she could be reading into things. His long, surfer-style hair gave him a free-spirit vibe, but he could be mean as fuck or a total ass. There was no way to tell. She, however, was looking for a hard, rough fuck, something to erase memories and drive her out of her mind for a sliver of a moment. A free-loving experience wouldn’t meet the bill.

  Her roommate had shipped out that afternoon and hadn’t been replaced, which left her with that entire cargo container to herself all night long.

  Bent was out of the picture. With Ryker playing with the band, the two of them spent far too much time together. Even now, they sat beside one another, rehashing the set. Ryker’s eyes were on fire, a green blaze of adrenaline sparking with untapped energy.

  Ash made a beeline for Skye, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in for a kiss of molten proportions. The passion simmering between those two stirred up a burst of envy Tia was none too proud to admit.

  She’d never had that with Scott. Their sex life had been satisfying, but it had never been heart-stopping. Without a word, she stepped away and made a beeline for the couch. Bash it was.

  She made it halfway across the room when a rough hand pulled at her sleeve.

  “Where are you going, T?” Lyons asked.

  The hardness of his gaze cut to the couch and the man sitting in it. Bash wasn’t paying attention to anyone and had his phone in hand, swiping the screen.

  “What do you care?”

  The metal legs of the chair he’d been sitting in scraped against the hard flooring. His grip on her arm tightened as he straightened to his full height. Standing so close forced her to tip her head back to glare at him.

  “Don’t,” he said with a scowl.

  “Don’t what?”

  But they both knew exactly what was on her mind. She’d been very clear about her plans to forget Scott. The ache in her chest pulsed with a fiery intensity, shredding her heart.

  “Can I have a word with you outside?” Lyons said with a growl.

  She jerked her arm out of his grip. If they’d been alone, he wouldn’t have released her, but they were drawing attention from Bent, who eyed their interaction with a lifting of his eyebrow.

  Her, Oh, hell no, was cut short with Forest’s entrance into the small room. Colonel Vane was in tow.

  “Awesome show, guys,” Forest said in his deep bass. “Now, I have a surprise.”

  Vane puffed his chest out, trying to look bigger while standing beside Forest.

  Forest leaned against the doorframe, a cheeky grin on his face. “We have a change of plans.”

  Vane approached Lyons. He stuck out his hand. “Amazing playing you did out there. No one wants to leave. They’re all still out there, talking about how cool it was to see you onstage.”

  “Thank you, sir. I’m happy to hear that, but to be honest, it’s hard not to look good when surrounded by these guys.” He gave a general wave to the room. “What’s the surprise?”

  “I think you’re going to like this,” Colonel Vane said.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Surprise

  Ryker

  Ryker didn’t mind a change of plans. Whatever Vane had planned had to be better than T’s crackpot idea. All he had to do was keep her away from Bash. There’d been no mistaking the look in her eyes as she surveyed the room. He could see the gears churning as she weighed and measured her options. He hated every bit of it.

  “What news?” Ash asked.

  He peeled himself off his wife and gave the colonel his full attention. The other members of the band did the same.

  “We’ve changed the tour line up,” Vane explained. He pointed at Ash. “It’s really your idea.”

  “Mine?”

  “Yeah, between you and Forest really.”

  Bash unfolded his muscular frame from the couch
and joined everyone at the table. He sat right beside T, making Ryker’s gut churn. “Well, don’t keep us in suspense.”

  “We’ve pulled a few strings and made it so that Sergeant Lyons can stay with you during your tour with us.” He turned to Ryker. “You’re being placed on temporary duty with the USO.”

  “I’m sorry, sir,” Ryker said, “but how is that going to work? The ops tempo of my team—”

  “Is being dealt with,” Vane said. “We have someone inbound to step in for a few weeks. It’s a win-win for all involved.”

  Ryker glanced at T, whose brows drew together. He echoed her thoughts. All special ops surgical teams practiced identical protocols. Theoretically, any of them were replaceable. He couldn’t replace T, and she couldn’t replace him, but another CRNA could easily slip into her role, just as another respiratory technician could fill his.

  It wasn’t ideal, but things happened. Team members got injured and were removed to take time out to recover. Medical issues needed to be dealt with. Hell, he’d stood in for another team when their respiratory technician had to have an emergency appendectomy. In real life, shit happened, but to upset the cohesiveness of a team for a public relations dog-and-pony show? He was embarrassed to be a part of that. It looked like T had similar thoughts, if he read her expression right.

  “You want me to tour with Angel Fire?” He still couldn’t believe that was what Vane wanted.

  “Hot damn,” Bent said with a hoot. “Do you realize what this can do for you?”

  It could do a lot. Back in the day, he would’ve hopped on the opportunity. Playing onstage in front of a real audience had been his number one bucket list item, but life had gotten in the way, and his priorities had changed. That set had been beyond amazing, but he loved his job. He might not reach hundreds or thousands with his music, but his medical skills were invaluable to the individuals who passed through his hands. Giving that up would steal a little bit of his soul.

  With all that rationalized in his head, he couldn’t help but want to do exactly as Vane had suggested. For as long as he could, he wanted to rock it onstage and experience, for just a moment, what that dream might be like.

  “Of course, sir,” he said, addressing his remarks to the colonel, “I’ll do whatever is required. I just wanted to voice my concerns.”

  T’s spine stiffened. “You already have someone inbound?” Her gaze cut to Forest. “How did that happen?”

  Forest shook his head. “There’s always someone who needs to trade a favor for a favor. Don’t worry, T; there’s a CRNA on the way, too.”

  “What?” Her eyes about popped out of her head. “Why are you replacing me? I have nothing to do with the band.”

  “That’s true,” Vane said, “but we’re doing a special PR piece on you.”

  “What could you possibly need with me?”

  “We have a reporter interested in doing a piece on women in combat.”

  Technically, the medical corps were not combat troops. They were specifically protected by the Geneva Convention as noncombatants. However, the special ops surgical teams blurred some of those lines. They operated in combat zones. Carried weapons but were limited to the protection of themselves and their patients. There were regulations against them actively fighting. He understood T’s confusion but was thrilled she would be accompanying him. He would’ve dug in his heels if Vane had separated them. Until she had her head screwed on straight, he wasn’t leaving her side. And, speaking of sides, he placed himself between her and Bash, effectively cutting the drummer out of her line of sight.

  “Sir,” she said, “haven’t we done enough of those pieces?”

  Ryker sensed her distress. She hated always being measured against the men.

  “The public is fascinated by our female airmen, and your job is unique. Forest has arranged for a reporter to follow you around and get a true in-depth exclusive. Since we can’t have them accompany you on a mission, this is the next best thing.”

  “And what does Collins think of this?” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  Ryker turned to Vane. That was a really good question. Collins was their superior officer. Taking out two of his team would stress the integrity of their missions.

  “He’s been briefed,” Vane said. “He had his selection of replacements and picked them himself.”

  Vane garnered a bit of respect with that move. It was brilliant actually. Everyone would be happy—everyone, except T, who had fire simmering in her gaze. Fortunately, she was smart enough to keep a lid on her temper. No doubt, he would get an earful later. He had every intention of listening to her spew her discontent because, if she was with him, then she wasn’t sleeping in another man’s bed. He would fight for that state with every breath in his body.

  “Looks like it’s settled,” he said.

  “Pretty much,” Vane replied. “We’ve readjusted the tour schedule to add in visits to our smaller units. Angel Fire will still play the larger venues on the docket, but we’ll set up smaller sessions.”

  Ash had a big grin on his face. “Kind of like an Angel Fire Unplugged?” He glanced at the other guys. “What do you think? If we go to smaller units, we can unplug.”

  “Oh.” Bash’s eyes widened. “Now, that would be cool. Shame we don’t have some recording gear. We could make the Angel Fire USO Unplugged tour out of it.”

  Forest’s low rumble caught everyone’s attention. “Give me forty-eight hours, Bash, and I’ll have everything you need.”

  Of course, Forest Summers would have everything they needed. When you had as much money as he did, nothing was impossible. Ryker eyed Forest sideways, wondering what else the gentle giant had shoved up his sleeve because he was sure as shit something was going on in Forest’s head.

  Vane gave a nod to Ryker. “Major Meyers and Sergeant Lyons, if I could speak with you outside.”

  “Yes, sir,” he said.

  T gave a nod. “Yes, sir.”

  Vane headed out while Skye came over and whispered in T’s ear. T gave a slight shake of her head and then followed the colonel out.

  Bent thumped the table. “This is going to be awesome!” The deep reverberations of his voice practically sang the last word.

  Ryker wished he could stay and hang with the band, but duty called him elsewhere.

  Vane and T waited at the back of the hangar. A dull buzz filled the giant building. The colonel hadn’t been kidding about no one wanting to leave. The band would be headed back out in a bit for meet-and-greets and spontaneous yet highly choreographed interactions with the troops. He wished he could be with them. Never in his life had the power of music thrummed in his veins. He felt as if he’d been breathing in energy and breathing out sound. It had been beyond amazing. He never wanted it to stop.

  “Sir,” he said, approaching Vane and T, “thank you for the opportunity.”

  “I think this is going to be great for all involved,” Vane said.

  “What exactly is the plan?” T asked.

  “You’ll return to your post in the morning. We have a convoy headed that way. The rest of your team will accompany you. Mr. Summers assures me the band can travel light and aren’t against roughing it a little.”

  Ryker smiled at this. There would be more than a little bit of roughing it. They weren’t housing the band at The Ritz. It would be field shelters, kitchens, and bare-bones everything.

  “And your plan is to have them do what exactly?” Ryker asked. “Play for the troops obviously, but what else?”

  “This is why I want you. Mr. Dean wanted an up-close-and-personal experience. We’ll have the band go from place to place and do some pick-up songs, probably in the chow halls, to maybe see if they can find anyone else with musical talent that can play. We’re going for organic.”

  “Organic?” T scoffed. “Sounds like a lot of planning is going into this.”

  “Unfortunately, that’s the way of things,” Vane admitted. “You’ll have an escort the entire time. We’ll scout t
he routes but can’t guarantee…”

  “We understand,” Ryker said. Nothing was guaranteed in this godforsaken place.

  “Sir,” T interjected, “I still don’t understand why I have to go.”

  “That is a concession we made with Mr. Summers. There’s the interview—”

  “I can do an interview in an afternoon. Don’t need two weeks.”

  “I agree,” Vane said. “But he requested time to speak with both of you. He’s very interested in the capability of our special ops surgical teams.”

  “And Collins is okay with this?”

  “Yes,” Vane said. “Now, it’s all been arranged. You’ll get your temporary-duty orders in the morning. In the meantime, Collins has asked to meet with the two of you tonight.”

  “Yes, sir,” he said, glancing at T.

  Her eyes strayed back to the hangar, and he didn’t like what that implied.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Maze

  Tia

  Tia wondered what the hell Forest was thinking because there was no reason for her to tag along. Unless maybe he was trying to find more time for her and Skye to reconnect? That could be it, but nothing was so cut and dry with Forest.

  Vane left her and Lyons and strode off into the night. She turned to head back to the band, but Lyons pulled at her arm.

  “I don’t think that’s such a great idea,” he said with a guttural rumble in his throat.

  “And why is that?”

  “Two reasons,” he said. “Most importantly, Collins is waiting for us.”

  “And the other?”

  Without another word, he walked away. “Up to you whether you want to keep Collins waiting,” he called over his shoulder.

  Hesitation wasn’t normally her thing, but she turned toward the break room, caught between following orders and following something else entirely. In the end, she jogged to Lyons’s side, wondering what the second reason might be.

  “Are you going to tell me?”