Broken Together

by K. S. Ruff

  I hugged myself as I stepped in front of him. “I understand this is important.”

  Hope flickered briefly… then sadness… and fear. “Would you be willing to live here for a few months, possibly a year?”

  My heart struggled in fits and bursts to start beating again. I knew. In my heart of hearts, I knew Rafael wanted this. He’d sacrificed so much for me, indulged and supported me in every way. I knew I should do the same. If I truly loved him, I’d stand by him. I’d support him in this so he could put this case to rest. But to walk away from my family and friends, my career, my degree program, and my country? Tears welled in my eyes. “I… I don’t know, Rafael. How do you see this playing out?”

  He pulled me close. “I don’t see this taking more than a year, but it is possible. He wants me to return to work immediately.”

  My head fell to his chest. We stood holding each other for the longest time. Although we were standing in the middle of a long, narrow street, it felt as if we’d reached a fork in the road. We were going to have to choose between Rafael’s dreams and mine.

  My heart ached. The hands of time began to wind the wrong way. Months simply fell away. I was holding Michael. I could feel his pain. We’d just returned home from the hospital and were mourning the loss of our baby. I tried to comfort him, but he walked away.

  Time surged forward with a violent jerk. I was kneeling in the snow in the middle of Lexie’s driveway. Kadyn was hurt. He couldn’t forgive me, not after everything that had happened with Michael. Tears streamed down my cheeks as he drove away.

  Time twisted cruelly until I was kneeling at the edge of Michael’s sailboat. Rafael was pouring Michael’s ashes into the ocean. I reached out so I could feel Michael one last time. The only thing I could feel was Michael slipping away.

  Somehow, this felt the same.

  * * * * *

  I was pacing across Rafael’s living room, anxiously awaiting his return. I’d barely slept last night and was now running on fumes. Rafael left to speak with the police chief hours ago. With every minute that passed, I grew more fearful. I’d been doing some serious soul searching while he was away.

  I decided I could walk away from Seeds for Peace. I was certain I could find a career in Portugal that would be equally rewarding. But I couldn’t walk away from my degree program. I was only five months away from graduating. The faculty had been lenient with me, allowing me to complete assignments remotely while burying Michael and working out of country for Seeds for Peace, but George Mason wasn’t an online university. Attendance was required. Short absences were tolerated as long as students remained on task. But five months? Five months was not an option.

  My friends and family didn’t present the obstacle I thought they would. Between the jet, Rafael’s resources, and mine… thanks to Michael… I could fly back to see them anytime.

  A plan had been unfolding inside my head, but I hadn’t sorted through all the details yet. I spun on my heel when I heard Rafael slide his card through the door.

  His eyes locked on mine. “Kristine?” He walked toward me as if he were approaching a frightened doe.

  I took a deep breath and slowly released it. “What did he say?”

  Rafael pulled me down onto the smooth leather couch. I found the cool material soothing. My skin felt heated, fueled by the tension and the panic building within me. “Chief D’Souza would like to reinstate me into the Grupo de Operações Especiais permanently. To the best of my knowledge, no operative has ever been reinstated before… at least not in Portugal.”

  I forced myself to breathe. I wasn’t expecting this to be so permanent. Clearly, it was an honor to be reinstated into a special operations group… an unprecedented honor at that. I reached for his hands. “Do you want to be reinstated?”

  Uncertainty flickered in his eyes. I maintained a firm hold on his hands when he tried to pull away. He glanced at me, surprised.

  Tears welled in my eyes. “We’re in this together, Rafael. I will support you either way, but I won’t allow you to slip away.”

  He folded me in his arms. “I wish this didn’t come at such a high cost.”

  Some time passed before either of us spoke again. Hesitantly, I began. “I’ll resign at Seeds for Peace, and I’ll move here, but I need to finish my degree first.”

  Rafael tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Few marriages survive special ops. I could be unavailable for weeks, maybe even months, on VIP protection missions. If they reassigned me to the counter-terrorism unit, you could be targeted, just like you were when you were with Michael. I can’t put my wife or my children through that.”

  My heart stalled.

  He grasped my hands. “I told Chief D’Souza that I would consider a temporary assignment, no longer than six months, to help them nail the scum who are abusing these children. He conceded, but he reserved the right to extend the assignment for another six months if we hit any roadblocks. I didn’t commit. I wanted to talk to you first.”

  I stood and stepped out onto the balcony. “So we’d be separated for five months.” That was the length of time I needed to complete my degree. I could spend the remaining time in Lisbon while he wrapped up his investigation.

  Rafael joined me. “I’m afraid so. I could come visit you in Virginia or you could travel here one or two weekends out of the month, but the timing could prove tricky. If I’m assigned to someone, I wouldn’t be able to leave until that security detail was over. Assignments can run anywhere from a day to a few weeks, they often include weekends, and they can be extended unexpectedly.”

  I gazed unseeingly at the courtyard. “We can do this, right? I mean, it’s only five months. We can reschedule the wedding so we’re not getting married until after your assignment ends. That would be July or December if you wanted to play it safe.”

  I could feel the heat rolling off Rafael’s chest when he stepped behind me. “We’re not delaying the wedding. May 21st is already too far away.”

  I leaned against him when he wrapped his arms around me. “So we’ll get married on May 21st and delay the honeymoon.” I turned in his arms. “I think five months is doable. Oni’s coming in a few weeks. I’ll have midterms, Rwanda, finals, graduation, and the marriage preparation course. You’ll be immersed in this case. We’ll be busy planning the wedding, and we’ll be flying back and forth to spend time together. Five months will be over in no time,” I reasoned with forced optimism.

  “Rwanda,” he groaned. “How could I forget? I’m supposed to be going with you to Rwanda.”

  “You can send Jase or simply expand the security detail beyond Brogan and Aidan.” I didn’t know Brogan or Aidan very well, but they had served as the security detail for my colleagues when they were working in India and Pakistan a few months ago. “What are you going to do about the security firm?”

  “You’re speaking as if this is a done deal. I still haven’t decided if I’m accepting this assignment,” Rafael gritted. He blew out a breath. “Ethan can manage the firm. I’m more concerned about you. I can’t leave you unprotected. I don’t trust Maxim, and there’s still a chance the SVR could come after you.”

  “Jase is already serving as my bodyguard. Can’t you just extend his hours or assign a second person to guard the townhouse at night?” I paused, surprised by how easily that suggestion had rolled off my tongue. I’d had a bodyguard for more than two years now, ever since Michael sent Rafael to watch over me in DC. I wasn’t really aware that I had a bodyguard until I met Rafael in Paris. Still, that was eighteen months ago. Now, I didn’t even think twice about having one.

  Rafael shook his head. “If I do this, then I’m asking Brady and Jase to move in with you.”

  My voice rose three octaves. “Move in with me? Why?”

  His eyes darkened. “While I may trust them to protect you, I don’t want either of those men spending the night alone with you.”

  “But Brady and Jase aren’t even remotely interested in me.”

  “You pre
sumed the same about me when you were living with Michael,” he noted drily. “If Brady and Jase are both sleeping there, they can keep each other in check and watch over you.”

  “Fine,” I conceded. “I can live with that.”

  His eyes softened. “That helps, a lot. I’m just… I’m not so sure I can. Chief D’Souza gave me twenty-four hours to think this over. We should sleep on it and make our decision in the morning.” He led me back into the living room.

  “Do you want some time alone? I can read my Kindle or study Portuguese in the other room so you can think about this.” I went into the kitchen to pour some coffee.

  He shook his head. “No. I would like to discuss something else.”

  “What do you want to talk about?” I handed him a cup of coffee before joining him on the couch.

  “I want to host a party to celebrate our engagement.”

  “But you may not be returning with me,” I noted softly.

  His expression grew fierce. “Even if I accept this assignment, I will see you home.”

  I wasn’t about to argue with that look. “Okay. We should pick a date so we can send the invitations out. How soon do you want to do this?”

  He rubbed at the stubble along his jaw.

  “What about New Year’s Eve?” I suggested.

  A smile slid slowly across his face. “That’s perfect.”

  I glanced at the calendar on my cell phone. “We’re going to have to send electronic invitations. That’s only ten days away.”

  Rafael opened the laptop he left sitting on the table last night. “If you can gather your friends’ e-mail addresses, we can send the invitation now.”

  I scribbled their names and e-mail addresses on a piece of paper I snagged from his printer. “Your house or mine?”

  “I need to make a phone call.”

  I looked up. Rafael was already walking down the hall. He disappeared into the bedroom with the laptop.

  I fell back against the couch. “What was that all about?”

  He returned a few minutes later. “I’ve secured a private yacht. We’ll be ringing in the New Year and celebrating our engagement while cruising the Potomac River. That way, there’s no prep work involved, and we don’t have to clean up.”

  My eyes widened. “Are you serious? How did you secure a yacht this close to New Year’s Eve?”

  “Clearly, you don’t know who you’re marrying,” he taunted with a cocky smile.

  I practically snorted my coffee. “Clearly. I don’t.”

  * * * * *

  Rafael bolted upright. There it was again. A gentle rap on the door. He lunged out of bed and tugged a pair of sweats on. “Matias isn’t getting any pastries this morning.”

  I glanced at my cell phone. It was eight o’clock in the morning, right on the nose.

  Rafael’s voice echoed briefly from the other room. Within minutes his broad frame filled the doorway to the bedroom. He was tapping an envelope against the palm of his hand.

  I eyed the envelope. “What’s that?”

  He slid a formal looking invitation from the envelope. “Chief D’Souza has requested our presence at the PSP’s charity ball tonight.”

  “PSP?”

  “The Public Security Police. The event benefits those who are injured in the line of duty and the families of fallen officers.”

  I poked a single toe out from under the comforter and shivered. “Are we going?”

  He tapped the remote for the fireplace. “I believe it’s expected.”

  I planted both of my feet on the floor. “Is this a formal event?”

  Rafael set the invitation on the nightstand. “Yes. I have to wear my tux, and you need a formal gown.”

  I joined him on the other side of the bed. “Can I have your cell phone? I’d like to see if Eva can help me shop.”

  Rafael grinned. “You don’t want to shop with me?” He handed me his phone.

  “I’d rather you be surprised by the dress.” I kissed him on the cheek before scrolling through his contacts. “Olá, Eva?”

  “Bom dia, Kristine. Is everything okay?”

  I cringed. “Oh, God! I’m so sorry. It’s crazy early.”

  “Não, não. It’s fine. I’ve been awake for an hour.”

  “I was just wondering if you were free to go shopping with me. We just received an invitation for the PSP’s charity ball…”

  “Oh, you’re going!” she squealed delightedly. “Benjamim and I are going too. Most of the Templar will be there as a show of support for those serving in law enforcement.”

  “Really?” I breathed. No pressure there.

  “I’ll pick you up in one hour. I know the perfect boutique. Oh, and I’ll secure an appointment for you at the spa. My appointment’s at noon. Don’t worry, they serve lunch. Tell Rafael I’ll have you back by five o’clock. Adeus,” she called cheerily.

  I glanced at the phone. That woman had entirely too much energy for eight o’clock in the morning. I looked at Rafael. “I need lots and lots of coffee.”

  * * * * *

  I stepped in front of the mirror. Truly, this was the most romantic dress I’d ever seen. The full, blush colored gown served as a canvas for deep forest green leaves, ivory, lavender, and burgundy flowers. The images were soft and faded like a Monet. The strapless gown forced a considerable amount of cleavage above the rib-crushing corseted top, which Eva assured me was okay. A blush crept over my cheeks. The corset pushed everything up, so that my very average breasts looked much fuller than they really were.

  With a slender shrug, I decided to let Rafael be the judge. He was waiting patiently in the living room, oblivious to the fact that I was wearing thigh high stockings, a light pink garter, and a matching thong beneath the filmy skirt. Soft pink heels completed the ensemble.

  Rafael scrambled to his feet. His jaw clenched while his hands circled my waist. “I don’t know whether to kill or kiss Eva.” His thumbs scaled the corset before grazing my breasts. “I’m going to have to beat the rest of the police force off with my baton.”

  “You have a baton?” I wondered if he knew his hands were clenching my breasts.

  Rafael frowned. “Maybe I should take one of my swords.”

  I laughed. “Good luck hiding that in your tux. You look gorgeous, by the way.” The traditional black tux displayed his broad shoulders, trim waist, and muscular legs perfectly. The man looked devastating in a tux.

  His hands shifted, circling my neck. He forced my chin higher with his thumbs. “Kiss me,” he demanded gruffly.

  I stepped closer, so that every hard angle of his body was perfectly aligned with mine. I slid one flawlessly manicured hand behind his neck and forced his lips to mine. With painstaking precision, I traced his lips with the tip of my tongue. When I was certain he couldn’t bear it any longer, I delved deep inside his mouth.

  With a groan, Rafael wrested control of the kiss. My blood burst into flames as he thrust deep inside my mouth. He stroked my tongue again and again; circling… tempting… teasing until the kiss grew frenzied. He ventured lower, layering passionate kisses all along my jaw and thoroughly ravishing my neck.

  My breasts swelled against the corset, demanding his attention. “We’re going to be late.” I prayed he didn’t care. I wanted him in the worst possible way.

  His thumbs dipped beneath the corset. “Everyone will be late.” He latched onto my breast.

  “I’ll never get enough of this… of you,” I breathed.

  Rafael’s hands slid down my back. His eyes darkened when he cupped my bottom. “You’re wearing a garter?”

  I nodded, somewhat fearfully. The desire rolling off him was a little unsettling.

  “If you value that thong, you’ll step out of it. Now.”

  I dug beneath the beautiful skirt, unfastened the garter, and quickly removed the thong. My hands shook like a junkie needing drugs.

  Rafael loosened his pants. In one fluid motion, he lifted me. Like a man possessed, he thrust. We slammed a
gainst the wall. I closed my eyes and savored the moment he lost all control.

  He claimed everything at once; my breasts… my neck… and mouth… while destroying every nerve ending between my legs. He thrust harder than he ever dared before.

  I welcomed every blow.

  Rafael pinched my breasts, catapulting me toward release. I screamed deep inside his mouth. He groaned his response as he filled me. I fell slack, savoring the pulsing heat.

  Rafael collapsed against me, his heartbeat as wild as mine.

  I wiped lip gloss from his chin when my feet finally found the floor. “I… I need a minute to freshen up.” I patted my hair, wondering how much damage had been done.

  A warm chuckle rolled through his chest. “You look fine. A little mussed… like we just had sex, but that works for me. It’ll keep the other officers away.”

  I just shook my head. Within ten minutes time, my makeup, thong, and dress were back where they belong. I joined Rafael in the living room.

  He pulled me in for a hug. “Thanks for indulging me.”

  A single eyebrow rose along my forehead. “Have you looked in the mirror recently? How could I possibly resist?”

  Rafael twirled me around so my back was to his chest. He clasped a necklace around my neck.

  “What’s this?” My fingers skimmed the smooth, cool beads that sat too high to see. Slowly, I turned around.

  He glanced at the necklace. “Those are my mother’s pearls.”

  “Rafael,” I objected.

  He cupped my face in his hands. “Please. My mother would want you to have these.”

  I choked back tears. “I don’t deserve you.”

  He smiled. “You do. You deserve me, and this, and so much more; and I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

  My heart clenched. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” He kissed me, gently. “Ready?”

  “Yes,” I whispered breathlessly. We took the elevator to the garage. “Did you speak with Chief D’Souza today?” Rafael made his decision before I left with Eva. That decision had left me feeling vulnerable and sad, but I was trying my best to be supportive.