A Life Apart: A Darcy and Elizabeth Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Harriet Knowles

  He held her close against him and she could hear his steady heartbeat as she rested her head on him.

  “You can be generous towards her, Elizabeth. We have all we want.” He kissed the top of her head. “I have heard it said that the best revenge is happiness. I am not resentful and I hope that you might forgive her and be able to put the whole incident behind you.”

  She smiled. “I have heard it said that you once told a friend that your good opinion once lost is lost forever.”

  His arms tightened around her. “But that was when I did not have you beside me, showing such generosity of spirit to me despite my cold indifference, which had caused you so much suffering.” He drew breath.

  “Let us go to the wedding at Meryton, Elizabeth. It will please your sister very much. We will be able to stay at Netherfield, and you can see your mother at the wedding breakfast. I will have no ill-feeling, and your mother will be distracted by many guests.”

  He sat quietly with her in his arms, until she composed herself and sat up.

  “I am well.”

  He smiled at her. “Let me finish my letter, Elizabeth. Then it can go express and your father will receive it this evening, before poor Bingley finds himself trying not to explain what he is asked.”

  “Thank you, William.” Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed. “Then perhaps over some tea, I might begin to compose my letter to him. I think you suggested it should arrive the day after yours?”

  “It is a good idea.” William crossed back to the table to finish his letter. “I think it is a good thing to know when it must be done, then you will be surprised how much easier the composition will be.”

  She was much more relaxed after dinner. Her letter was written and William had completed the direction. It would be sent early tomorrow by express. Papa would be reading it when he was in his library after breakfast.

  She glanced at the clock and felt her heart pound. He would be reading William’s letter now, she thought. What would he be thinking?

  She felt the press of his thigh against hers. He knew she needed the reassurance as they sat, with Richard, and listened to Georgiana play.

  “They will be pleased to hear from you, Elizabeth, and know you are well. I am sure there will not be any recriminations.”

  Elizabeth knew he was right — about her father, certainly. But her mother? She sighed. She would need to be strong at first, until her mother had had her say. Then she would have to submit to the embarrassment of her mother calling on them at Darcy House and at Pemberley. She dreaded it.

  She gazed around at the graceful room. It was peaceful and quiet. She loved the people who were with her, and her mind went back to the noisy, raucous bustle of Longbourn. Used as she was to the peace of Pemberley, it would be impossible for her to go back.

  Georgiana finished the piece and they all applauded. Elizabeth rose to her feet and went to the pianoforte.

  “That was so beautiful, Georgiana. Haunting and evocative.” Elizabeth smiled. “Now, what piece do you think you’d like me to play while you talk to the gentlemen?”

  Chapter 68

  Darcy assisted Elizabeth into the coach the following morning. He had spent some time deliberating where he should take her. It must be somewhere she would be absorbed and forget what might be happening at Longbourn.

  He wondered if Bennet would feel that he must tell his wife at once that he had heard that Elizabeth was well. But he thought not.

  He smiled to himself. It had taken some planning, but he had heard from Bingley that he would be calling on Mr. Bennet to ask for Jane’s hand in marriage later this morning, and hoped that Bennet would have time to read Elizabeth’s letter when it arrived but that his immediate urge to jump into a coach and call at Darcy House would thus be thwarted by Bingley’s call.

  He drew his attention to Elizabeth. She looked calm as she settled herself on the seat and watched him climbing in beside her.

  “So, Mr. Darcy, you have been very secretive this morning. Are you yet able to tell me where we are going?”

  He smiled. “I’m very glad you look well, Elizabeth. We are going to Hampton Court. It is a fine building and there is much to see. I confess the real reason I am taking you is that I want to show you the maze. It is very large and over a hundred years old. The rest of the gardens are very fine, too.”

  Her face lit up with pleasure. “I have read about the maze, but I never thought I’d have the opportunity to go there.” She sighed and leaned against him. “You’re very good to me, William.”

  “I will confess the enjoyment for me is watching you seeing such places for the first time.” He placed his arm round her shoulders, always happiest when they were alone together.

  She rested her head on his shoulder. “How do you think Papa received your letter last night?”

  He traced his hand up her arm, feeling her quiver. “If you cannot forget about what is happening in Hertfordshire, Elizabeth, then I have failed in my attempt today.”

  She laughed. “I am sure once we are there I will forget. Perhaps you ought to have arranged that Hampton Court be closer to Darcy House.”

  “It was really most inconvenient that the then King did not site his palace a little closer to the centre of London,” he agreed.

  “Perhaps we should berate Cardinal Wolsey, then, for building the house that Henry appropriated.”

  Once again, Darcy was struck by her wide-ranging knowledge and ability. What she might have achieved with a sound education, she had obtained for herself by extensive reading and study.

  He loved that they could sit in silent companionship without needing to fill the time with needless chatter. He could feel her contentment, no words were needed, and when the coach slowed after the hour-long journey, he thought they were both ready to just continue the ride forever.

  But it was time, and as he assisted her down the step, her face was alight with interest as she looked round.

  “It is wonderful! So much more imposing than the illustrations I’ve seen.”

  He offered his arm, and she slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow. His body still delighted in her touch, even with having been so close in the coach and he smiled down at her.

  “I sent ahead. They will be expecting us, and we will be shown round the house first, I expect.”

  Two hours later, and even he was ready to sit down. “I think we will find an inn and have some refreshment, before sallying forward to the gardens.” He was a little concerned. “Or do you think we should go home, to allow you to rest? We can see the maze another day.”

  “On, no! I will not countenance it.” She smiled up at him. “I feel very well, and you have promised me the maze.”

  “Very well.” He could refuse her nothing, it was well that she did not demand too much of him.

  Her soft laugh startled him. “You will refuse if I ask too much, I know that.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “I know you were wondering how you might ever refuse what I ask of you, William.” She looked as if she was trying very hard not to smile.

  “How did you know that?”

  “Ah, if I divulge how I know, then you might be able to hide things from me that I need to know.” Her hand tightened on his arm. “And you refused the very first request I made, sir, if you recall.”

  He frowned. “I did?”

  “You did. You even apologised for it.” She was smiling to herself.

  “You will have to remind me, Elizabeth. So very much has happened.”

  “Indeed it has.” She turned to him. “It was as we were in the coach alone for the very first time and I asked if we could avoid the duty of the wedding breakfast. You said something like you were sorry to have to decline my first request, but that to prevent my mother going to Darcy House, you must refuse.” She settled back in the seat of the coach. “And you also steadfastly refused my requests that you annul the marriage.” She reached for him. “I am so very glad you did.”

  He
could not resist the lure of her closeness and drew her face to his.

  A few moments later he drew back. “I think this is the inn where we may have lunch.”

  Elizabeth stared at the servants as they carried a chair. “What is that for, William?”

  He knew he looked guilty. “I thought if you might wish to rest in the maze …”

  Her look seared him. “No. I do thank you for your thoughtfulness, but I am not going to be followed around with a chair in case I need it. Besides — I am trusting you to know the way out.” Her smile forgave him and he shook his head at the servants, resigned, and she took his arm.

  “Please tell me you will not be this solicitous right up until the end, William. It will provoke me.”

  “Well, I will try to restrain my concern somewhat.” He pushed back a protruding branch. “It will be easier if you promise me that you will tell me if you think there is anything you need.”

  She smiled archly at him. “Of course. For now, I need you to forget completely my condition, which you should not even be suspecting for several months.” She sighed. “If only I had not been so weary so soon, but I am through that now and I feel very well indeed.”

  She stopped and looked at the long path with the tall hedges each side. “The maze is deadening the sound of our voices, isn’t it?”

  He nodded. “There is no echo at all. The effect is stronger in the summer, when the leaves are not so dry.”

  “I suppose the leaves haven’t fallen because in here it’s so sheltered from any winds.”

  “I think so.” He might have known she would recognise the hornbeams, and though the autumn colours were dramatic, the hedges were not bare. “Of course, leaves do fall later here than at Pemberley. I know the branches there were bare before we left.”

  They wandered on through the maze and he was glad she was suitably attired for the weather. “This place is much nicer this late in the year. The last time I came, it was in the summer, and there were many other people here. Even in the maze itself, you had to wait for other people to move on in front of you.”

  She shook her head. “No, it is part of the illusion of being lost, that you are alone in here. I cannot imagine it would be the same with other parties around you.”

  They wandered on, Darcy marvelling at his good fortune in meeting another who was so attuned to his own likes and dislikes. He could no longer imagine his life without her beside him. All that had to be overcome now was the first reconciliation with the rest of her family and her sister’s marriage. Then he could take her to Pemberley and they could settle there. He could barely wait.

  Chapter 69

  It had been a perfect day. How fortunate that she and William were so wonderfully in alignment on what they enjoyed. She looked forward to a more peaceful time after Jane’s wedding. She hoped that he would not demur too much about allowing her to travel to Pemberley. But she would feel safer there. Being further from her mother would also be beneficial. She smiled to herself, and allowed him to assist her from the coach.

  They climbed the steps to Darcy House in companionable silence. Dusk was falling, and she wondered if Georgiana and Richard were back from Matlock House.

  “I would welcome a cup of tea,” she sighed as they handed their outerwear to the servants.

  He smiled and nodded at the butler. “Have Miss Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam returned yet?”

  “No, Mr. Darcy. Mr. Leigh ensured they had extra servants with them for the torches in case they returned after dark.”

  “Thank you.” Her husband nodded. “It isn’t far.”

  “Yes, sir. In other matters, a gentleman did call only an hour ago. He has left a note.”

  Elizabeth watched her husband’s face. Impassive as always, she still thought he had discerned who it might be. She decided to appear unconcerned.

  “I will go through and wait for you, William.” She turned and went through to the drawing room.

  It was only a moment later that he came striding in, a sheet of notepaper in his hand. “This concerns us both, Elizabeth. I must ask you what your wishes are in this matter.”

  Papa! She didn’t know how she knew, but she did. “My father has come to London.” She raised her eyebrows.

  He took a seat beside her on the sofa. “I had hoped that you would not be worrying about your family today.”

  “Oh, William!” She touched his hand. “Have a cup of tea and tell me what Papa’s note says. I have had the most perfect day. But I knew that Jane and Mr. Bingley were at Longbourn today. Everyone must be so excited.” She made a face. “Except, perhaps, Papa. I do hope he has not rushed to London and missed Mr. Bingley.”

  “I can relieve your mind at once on that score.” William held out the sheet of paper to her. “It will be quickest if you read your father’s note and then we might discuss what you wish to do.”

  “Thank you.” She took the note, seeing her father’s familiar hand.

  Mr. Darcy,

  Your butler tells me he expects you back this evening and has assured me that he will give you this note on your arrival home.

  I was surprised, but very pleased, to receive your letter yesterday, with assurances of Lizzy’s well-being, and so I waited with great anticipation for her letter this morning as you had advised me.

  Please assure her that the anxieties she expresses in her letter are without foundation. I am so happy that she is well and content, and if she agrees to see me, all my hopes will be fulfilled.

  I, too, need to ask her forgiveness, so I hope she will very soon wish to meet me.

  Your friend, Mr. Bingley, came to see me at Longbourn this morning, with some most welcome news, and Mrs. Bennet and Jane will be in happy discourse today. So I have come to London in the hope that I may call upon you, and perhaps Lizzy if she agrees.

  I will be staying at my club for the next few days and ask if you could send word as to the arrangements if it is agreeable to you for us to meet.

  Yours, etc,

  Thomas Bennet, Esq.

  She turned the page again and reread it, smiling. So Jane and Mama were already making happy plans. For a moment, she felt a vague regret that her own marriage had been so very different, that she had no happy memories of that day to look back on. But she pushed those thoughts aside and looked up at him.

  “Are you happy to meet him here, William? I would be happy to.” She looked down at the page again. “It seems I have been building up in my mind a big obstacle that hasn’t been there.”

  “It is a very easy thing to do, Elizabeth,” he said gently. “And, of course you may invite him here. I will be content to meet him and I am sure it will be a great relief to you, too.”

  “Thank you.” She glanced up. “So what do you suggest now?”

  William glanced at the clock. “I expect he has made arrangements to dine at his club this evening, and also, of course, Georgiana and Richard will be dining here with us. Perhaps you would like me to send word to your father and invite him here tomorrow morning? I am sure Georgiana and Richard will be tactful and stay up in her day room while your father is here.”

  “It sounds by far the best choice.” Elizabeth smiled. “I even think I will not be too anxious tonight. He seems to be equally as sorry as I am at our estrangement.” She looked back down at the letter.

  “Indeed. You keep the letter, Elizabeth. I have noted down the name of your father’s club and I will go and write the invitation and get it sent round. Thus he will soon be assured that his journey has not been wasted.”

  Chapter 70

  It was cold again in the morning. Elizabeth sat close to the fire in the drawing room as she waited with William for the clock to crawl slowly round to the appointed hour.

  Despite her confident words, she hadn’t been able to eat breakfast, and William had noticed. She’d had to fight back her wish to laugh, as he was obviously struggling to restrain the urge to comment.

  Georgiana had looked from one to the other of them and Eli
zabeth had thought she might be wondering what was really the reason.

  “It’s all right, Georgiana. I am just a little anxious about seeing my father again.” Elizabeth hurried to cover over any possible other reason Georgiana might be considering. It really was much too early for anyone else to know.

  “Of course, Elizabeth.” Georgiana nodded. “Perhaps you might take a little more tea?”

  “I can always take a little more tea!” Elizabeth nodded at the servant.

  But now the endless wait was nearly over and she found herself pacing in front of the fire.

  “It is harder than when I met Aunt Gardiner and Jane,” she murmured, and William rose to stand beside her.

  “Of course.” He nodded. “You have blamed your father and been most determined that you will have to keep him away in order to keep your mother away, too.”

  She nodded. “I have been wondering why he has stayed at his club and not at Gracechurch Street?”

  William lifted her hand to his lips, the closest he would risk in the public rooms, she knew. “I think he may prefer not to meet them until he, too, has met you, Elizabeth. He will know from Bingley and your sister that your aunt and uncle have had more than a cursory contact with you already.”

  “I didn’t think of that,” Elizabeth said, her heart sinking. “Poor Papa. I have been the cause of much grief.”

  William moved a little closer to her. “Do not berate yourself, Elizabeth. You have nothing to be ashamed of. This situation has caused everyone connected with it to be grieved, one way or another.” His voice deepened. “I thought it had destroyed everything I had ever dreamed of, but I have learned a great deal — and gained so very much.” His voice was husky. “I will always be glad for it — always.”

  Elizabeth swallowed. She too, had gained more happiness than she had ever thought attainable, and in doing so, had also found security and a deeper love than she could possibly deserve.